Alternate Realities
by Moose Voose
Summary: If you woke up in an alternate reality to find the people you loved most now loathed you, would you leave it at that? Or would you fight to make him love you again? "I shouldn't be defined by past mistakes, especially since I'm not the one who made them. But I am. Irrevocably."
1. Prologue

**On the idea:** I started writing this story a few months ago after reading the fantastic Harry Potter fanfic **Reverse** by Lady Moonglow ( www.[inset the name of this lovely site]/s/4025300/1/Reverse). And, so carried away in my adoration of it, I ended up writing a story with more or less the same premise (oops). But with her permission I'm posting it anyway. :) So, even if you think this story is horrendous, you should definitely give **Reverse** a shot; it's ridiculously and absolutely phenomenal.

 **On the rating:** I've rated this story T because of some crude language, especially in the earlier chapters. That said, there are no actually _curse_ words. There really should be, but I can't quite stomach it. Apologies to all the readers and writers out there more committed to realism than I am.

 **Disclaimer:** All the lovely characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just the one that messed them up and made them do things they'd never in their right minds submit to doing. And the basic premise of a universe flip along with the idea of an intelligent girl waking up with a reputation for being a moron belongs to Lady Moonglow. But don't worry. I'm sure there's something original in there somewhere...

* * *

Prologue:

Slow breaths, deep inhales. Empty the lungs.

"Your eye is _twitching_."

I bit my lip. "Sorry." Exhale. Don't flinch.

"Mind your lip. My brother would never forgive me if you ruined it under my care." I blindly reached forward to swat her. "Then again, I suppose he does _his_ fair share of biting your lip—"

"Stop. It." The image I'd been nursing of Edward and I somewhere low key, maybe a library, slipped away. I'd heard comments like these often enough that I came to expect the flush, and I found myself grateful for the thick goop Alice was layering on my face. Maybe it would be less obvious?

"Alright, alright," Alice laughed. "I'll behave myself if _you_ will. Now open and let me check."

I obediently opened my eyes and sighed. The expression on her face was at once familiar and out of character for Alice: calculating, cutthroat. But then again, seeing as she monitored the future religiously, perhaps it was rarer to see her _not_ analyzing the present for errors.

"Now shut," Alice commanded. I let them flutter shut, treasuring the feeling of my lashes against my cheek. Once Alice put on the mascara, that sensation would become nearly intolerable. "Oh, shush," Alice said to a complaint I hadn't voiced. "It's worth it. For him, you know."

I bit back a smile. I very much doubted Alice's effort could drastically alter Edward's feelings for me. But then, I didn't need them to alter.

Actually, strangely enough, I was perfectly happy as things were.

* * *

"Are you _quite_ finished holding her hostage?" Edward paced the length of the room; it didn't escape me the way his pace stayed human, controlled. Inwardly I rolled my eyes. He may not be able to look at me, but he was definitely aware of my presence.

And how could he not? I must be burning his throat like a hot iron right now.

And in return, he pretends to be human, just for a few seconds more.

 _Silly,_ I thought with a smile. Then, _I love him._

"Don't look!" Alice thundered as she nudged me to the top of the stairs. Edward sighed and obediently froze in his place with his back to her. "You're not peeking, are you?" I knew immediately she was referring to the fact that my boyfriend read minds, not that he was twisting and craning to catch a glimpse of me.

"I've complied with your terms in every way, I assure you," Edward said, running a hand through his hair. Unlike me, Edward rolled out of bed ready for formal events like this; _he_ could get away with touching something as important as his _hair_ without spending hours in a bathroom to fix it. "Can I look yet?"

Alice poked and prodded me, and I sighed again. How maddening to have him so close, and we couldn't even _look_ at each other. Well, at least, he couldn't see _me_.

I wasn't _quite_ sure what Alice expected Edward to do. He'd already seen me half dead and coated head to toe in dirt and blood, and the repercussions hadn't been too horrible. As far as I was concerned, we'd already addressed his opinion of my looks. Edward simply didn't care what I looked like.

"…Alright. You can look," Alice said, withdrawing from the stairwell entirely, leaving me at the top of the stairs, one hand on the rail like a princess, the other gathered at my skirts.

Edward turned slowly (probably for my benefit), and when his eyes met mine, a breathtaking smile spread over his lips. In seconds, he was at the top of the stairs, a finger tilting my chin up to look at him. Up close, he was absolutely, dizzyingly perfect.

"Divine," he murmured, lowering his lips to mine, and I stifled a giddy laugh. Right now it was important to focus on kissing, and I knew if I laughed now Alice might never let me get a second chance.

I was right. The moment Edward pulled away, Alice reappeared at my side, holding out a tube of lip gloss. "That was my gift to you," Alice said with a practical, businesslike tone of voice. "You got one kiss. Remember that."

My brows pulled down into a glare. "Alice, what's the _point_ of doing all this if he can't even _kiss_ me?"

"Oh, he can kiss you," Emmett called from somewhere else in the house, and immediately my jaw set as I braced myself. Emmett didn't disappoint (though he'd _certainly_ said worse). "He'll just have to get more _creative_!"

"As always, Emmett, your commentary is appreciated," Edward murmured.

"... _Oh_!" Alice stepped back, very obviously adjusting her plans after what I could only suppose was a vision. "I'll let you two have your moment." With that she disappeared from sight.

Edward sighed long-sufferingly. "Subtly is one of her strong suits, as you can see."

I laughed at that, and then paused, suddenly paranoid that my new face would crack with a genuine expression. He must have read the apprehension in my eyes because he laughed. But this laugh was different than what he pulled out for his family. This was a private laugh, just for me. It was just one of the million ways he said I-love-you.

"Truly, though," Edward murmured as he pulled me closer by the waist as he leaned his forehead oh so carefully against mine. "You are beautiful."

"Thanks," I said. "The suit is nice too."

Edward scoffed at that, but then he exhaled slowly, cool air washing over my face. My eyes fluttered shut, and he leaned down and captured my lips in his own.

With me suitably distracted, he swept me up in his arms. A smart and an unfortunately necessary measure when I was introduced to stairs and long dresses. "It's almost worth it, isn't it?" He murmured in my ear before placing a kiss there. "This entire ordeal?"

"Almost," I breathed.

* * *

Prom.

Plastic balloons, metal folding chairs along the walls, and a nice banner announcing the occasion in case anyone missed the memo. Girls arrayed in dresses ranging from beautiful to gaudy and boys in rented tuxes filled the room. It was too early in the night for dancing, thankfully. I wasn't _quite_ ready to subject myself to that.

"Breathtaking, isn't it?" Edward said dryly, his arm wound around my waist in an affectionate and/or restraining manner.

At that I smiled. "Is it _everything_ you wished for?"

"Everything," Edward agreed. "Drinks for the human? Don't worry; it's not spiked yet."

"Yet?" I repeated wearily.

Edward offered me a mischievous grin. "Don't worry. We'll be gone _long_ before then."

* * *

"You didn't tell me she would get _food poisoning_!" Edward exclaimed furiously. Despite his tone, his hands remained infuriatingly gentle as they stroked through my hair.

"Go _away_ …" I groaned. "I'm _fine_."

"Goodness," Alice said. "I _really_ should have gone with water proof."

When I groaned with my hands flying to my face, Edward snorted derisively. "Is that _really_ all you can think about?"

"She's not _dying_ , Edward," Alice said in what she must have meant to be soothing but instead came out rather callous. Unfortunately, Edward tended to think of worry as a communal practice. "She's going to be fine, she just needs _rest_. And _I'm_ not the one stressing her out."

"I'm not stressed," I mumbled, trying not to wince when my stomach lurched.

Alice scoffed. "Trust me, Edward. She'll feel much better when you _leave_."

"…That is utter nonsense," Edward muttered. "I don't _care_ what you look like when you're _sick_ , Bella!"

"Or what you sound like," Alice supplied helpfully. My stomach flipped, and _not_ with butterflies.

* * *

The night was a blur of nausea and pain, and as the night progressed, the fingers holding my own, stroking my cheek, faded in and out of my awareness. At times, I was frighteningly aware that I was alone. But then _his_ voice wove its way into my consciousness. And then I would be soothed back into sleep…


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N:** A warning on this chapter: it gets crude. Apologies in advance for general sleaziness depicted hereafter.

 **Disclaimer:** Yup. I obviously don't own Twilight. And the inspiration for this story is Lady Moonglow's _Reverse_ ( www.[inset the name of this lovely site]/s/4025300/1/Reverse). Let's be real here: there isn't a whole lot I own.

Chapter 1:

"Get up. It's time for school."

The words didn't really connect, didn't spark any motivation on my part to move my leaden muscles. Everything _ached_.

A curse word cut through the grogginess. "Did you actually _tear_ my shirt, Iz?" Another curse. "You're such a freak when you're horny!"

 _Iz_?

I slowly pried open my eyes. A frighteningly alien ceiling met my eyes.

"You haven't been eating more than usual, have you? Because _that_ ," I let out a small scream of surprise when a hand tapped my stomach, "is becoming a bit of a problem."

Every muscle awake now, I pulled myself up on my elbows…and felt a breeze. Yelping, I yanked the sheet of the bed back up to cover my naked chest.

"Hey." My head whipped towards the voice to confront the jerk, but recognition dulled my irritation. It was…it was Jake. _What's he doing here?_ "How hung over are you?"

"Jake?" I whispered, head spinning with confusion.

"Izzy?" Jake quirked a brow at me with a sarcastic smile. The lines and planes of his face were familiar, but his expression belonged to someone…bitter. More cruel.

Ignoring the jibe, I looked around me, questions tumbling from my lips. "Where are…my clothes? Why...where's Edward?"

"Who's Edward?" Jake snorted. "And your little slut dress is right here."

My brows furrowed in confusion, too distracted by the pathetic article of clothing he threw at me to mind his disgusting language (much). It looked more like a _shirt_ than anything else. "I don't understand," I whispered. "I…I was sick. Where's Edward?"

"I don't know who—" Jake suddenly paused, and I felt relief course through me. _Finally_ , he would give me an answer that made sense. "Oh, _that_ Edward. He's that freak…that freak we see in the halls sometimes, right?"

" _Freak_?" I repeated, anger rising. Then his words sunk in, distracting me from my indignation on Edward's behalf. "… _We_ see in the halls?" Jake didn't _go_ to Forks High.

"Will you just get dressed?" Jake said, buttoning up his shirt. "I'm sneaking out before Charlie gets up. Catch you at lunch, alright?"

He was just going to leave me here? " _What_?" I gaped after him, but he didn't even acknowledge me as he ducked out of the room, leaving me in totally alien surroundings, naked and alone.

My breathing sped up as I took in the bizarre surroundings. I was in a spacious bedroom themed gold and white. It looked right out of an interior designing showroom, and everything from the paintings on the wall to the blankets bunched at the end of this enormous bed looked absurdly expensive.

Though I waited, nerves taut and fraying, for the owner of the room to barge in and demand that I leave, everything felt terribly still and silent.

With numb fingers I struggled with the garment Jake _claimed_ was my own. It fit over me like a second skin, and I pointedly avoided looking into the mirror. I wouldn't burn _that_ into my retinas if I could possibly avoid it.

Next I attempted to stand. My legs, though slow to respond and weak, didn't give out when I tested them on the floor. A shudder ran the length of my spine; the wooden floorboards felt freezing to the touch. _Need to turn that stupid fan off._

With trembling knees, I explored the room, hoping to find my wallet or _shoes_ somewhere on the floor. All I saw was a small black, designer brand purse. After circling the room several times, I reluctantly concluded that this was as likely my purse as any since it was the only thing out of place in the room.

When I opened it up and found the wallet with numb, clammy fingers, the drivers license froze me.

The name was familiar: Isabella Swan. But the face was _entirely foreign_.

Instead of a familiar image of sallow pale skin and a tired grimace, a stunning smile featuring pearly whites met my eyes. Voluminous brown hair with blonde highlights tumbled over one shoulder, and even the poor quality of the camera couldn't disguise the quality of the makeup.

But she was _me_. Somewhere beneath the alien perfection were brown irises from my father, and my lips, though _quite_ a bit plumper than usual, still stretched into a smile from my mother.

We could have been sisters. But somehow I didn't think I was that lucky.

Apparently I'd collapsed to my knees, and I shakily scrambled to my feet and to the mirror. I nearly threw up when I noticed the dress. I found myself agreeing with Jake; of all the dresses I'd seen the previous night at prom, this was by _far_ the most tastelessly revealing. But even _that_ could not hold my attention for long.

The makeup was smeared unattractively all over my face. _But Alice put a ton of makeup on me_ , I reminded myself. _This is mine_.

But the hair was streaked with blonde highlights.

* * *

When I regained consciousness, I found myself collapsed on the freezing floorboards of the bedroom, and I realized with a wave of sick misery that I was still very much in this nightmare.

 _Get a hold of yourself_ , I thought. _Just find Edward_. Surely he'd be able to explain everything, make this entire mess make sense.

But first I needed to understand where I was.

This resolve strengthened my limbs somewhat, and it was with calm, steady fingers that I inspected the room again, this time paying much more attention to the décor.

Whoever owned this room was very sentimental because pictures dotted the walls and the vanity. I recognized the girl from my driver's license picture, smiling and pouting alternately but invariably beautiful. The people in the pictures _with_ her varied, though.

I recognized Mike, Jessica, Angela, Ben, and Lauren from school. I nearly had a heart attack the first time I saw myself tangled up in Jake's arms, but I got used to the sight fairly quickly. And I think it was because of _those_ pictures that I finally understood. Where ever I was, I wasn't back in the Forks that I knew. And here, this girl didn't belong to Edward. She belonged to _Jacob_.

And because of the sheer amount of pictures of this girl, I concluded that this was _her_ room. Jake's casual mention of Charlie echoed in my mind, and I smiled wryly at myself. My body wasn't the _only_ thing incredibly slow at the moment.

"Alright, this is her… _my_ room," I whispered. "So I think I'll help myself to her wardrobe."

It took three tries to find the closet. The first was the hallway, and the second was a bathroom, an actual bathroom of my own. And the third was a closet Alice Cullen herself might have envied.

At least half of the size of the bedroom itself, it featured rack after rack of color coated clothing flashing designer tags. Lest I go insane trying to imagine myself in _any_ form approving of the absurd wastefulness of such a collection, I stopped thinking of this closet in terms of "mine" but instead "hers" once more. It wasn't a hard switch to make.

Underwear was the number one priority, and I found a bin full of lacy undergarments. To my frustration and embarrassment, the girl didn't own anything but lingerie. I settled for the least ridiculous and moved onto clothing.

It took a great deal of work to find, but the girl did own _some_ jeans in between what felt like a hundred skirts ( _completely_ impractical for Forks). A plain blue button down was, thankfully, not nearly as difficult to hunt down.

A glance at the clock revealed I was twenty minutes late already for school. That was fine considering my identity crisis. School could wait.

More confident in actual _clothes_ , I explored the bathroom. A dizzying array of makeup products littered the counter, but I made a beeline for the toothbrush and makeup removing wipes. Somewhat clean, I then turned to examine the face in the mirror.

The hair was still completely foreign, and I'd rarely indulged Alice in every day clothes. But the face, plain without makeup, was comfortingly familiar.

Tying my hair back into a knot in the back of my head, I searched out a coat and shoes. After some hesitation, I grabbed the keys off of the dresser.

"Time to figure out if I still know how to get to school," I muttered.

* * *

Though I left a mansion behind me and drove in a disturbingly expensive car (my truck was nowhere to be found), the rest of Forks didn't seem _too_ different. There were a great deal more houses than I remembered, but Forks High was just as dinky and small as ever. Compared to Phoenix and Port Angelus, this place was a scab. It was comforting.

But also perplexing. Where had Charlie accumulated so much wealth if not in his hometown that he _still_ lived in?

Sucking in a deep breath to steady myself, I read over the schedule I'd found stuffed in the glove compartment. My classes were exactly the same as before, so _that_ was good. Forks didn't offer much flexibility in scheduling, though, so I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised.

I stuffed the schedule into the (not my) backpack and began to slosh in designer rain boots through the dead quiet parking lot. Only when I got to the door did I pause to gather my courage, feeling for all the world like it was the first day of school all over again. _One…two…three._

Miss Palmer's room was a stark contrast to the damp frigidity outside with the vents blasting hot air and the countertops cluttered with amusing knickknacks. And there was only one seat left open, so I made my way towards it.

"Long night?" Someone muttered, and laughter echoed throughout the room. Remembering waking up naked in bed with Jake, I felt my cheeks flush, and I let my hair fall like a curtain between me and the jeering faces.

"What's wrong with your face?" I looked up to see Jessica twisted around to face me, her words a soft hiss. "Where's your _makeup_?"

I blinked at her. This Jessica wore _significantly_ more makeup than the one I remembered. I guess I hadn't noticed in the pictures. "Um…"

Could I _really_ admit that I just didn't see the point in wearing it and expect an understanding nod? Whoever the girl that had owned this body before was, she _obviously_ wasn't the type of girl to walk out of the house without makeup.

It was a stupid miscalculation on my part. Unless I wanted them to lock me up in a loony bin for clearly _not_ being…whoever _she_ was, I needed to keep up appearances until I could make a plan.

I let my hand drift up to my face in pretend shock. "Oh!" I forced my eyes to widen, and the grimace was real. "I can't believe I forgot!"

Jessica snorted a laugh. "Only _you_ , Izzy!"

 _Izzy_?

Now that I thought about it, Jake _had_ called me something like that.

So that's who I'd be masquerading as: not _she_ , but Izzy.

"Miss Stanley, would you please share your answer for number twenty two?" Miss Palmer called in her usual soft voice. Jessica complied though and left me to myself.

The lesson progressed as usual, and in my rising boredom my eyes darted to the board. And the date that I saw there stopped me cold.

 _January 8_ _th_ _._

 _January._

 _When I left, it was_ May _!_

Not only had I switched bodies, but I'd also apparently gone back in time.

 _No wonder this lesson is boringly easy_ , I thought sourly. _I already_ _ **learned**_ _it._

* * *

It became obvious that whoever Izzy was, she was _nothing_ like me. A multitude of people waved hello and stopped to chat with me in the halls. Nobody seemed overly concerned with the tardy bell, and I had to practically drag Jessica to math though we'd been making conversation with a few other people ten minutes past the bell. Mr. Dodd only cast us a withering sigh and said, " _Thank_ you, ladies, for finally gracing us with your presence," before turning back to the board to demonstrate a problem.

I found it best to keep my mouth shut and let Jessica just talk. Whenever she asked me why I was so quiet, I pleaded a headache. She seemed sympathetic enough to this although her eyes flashed. I knew then that I was doing a poor job of impersonating Izzy.

If I was being honest with myself, I wasn't really trying at all.

The worst incident of acting out of character happened in world history when the teacher called on me. Though it required some thought on my part (I'd learned it _months_ ago), I was able to answer.

My current escort, Mike, turned to shoot me a surprised look and swore with an appreciative grin. "How did you _know_ that?"

Until that moment, it hadn't occurred to me that Izzy was _stupid_. "Luck, I guess," I whispered back, trying to smile.

Mike snorted at that, but he was called on next and left me alone.

I leaned on my hand and tried not to look too tired lest the teacher call on me again. Lunch couldn't come soon enough.

* * *

"Hey, babe," Jake said, leaning in and trying to kiss my lips. Instinctively I twisted my face to the side, letting his lips graze my cheek harmlessly. I hadn't thought about it much, but the implications of the pictures on the wall and my state of undress this morning were clear enough to me.

That didn't mean I had to like it.

"What did I do to piss you off _now_?" Jake sighed before giving me a cursory glance and grimacing. "And you look like crap."

 _Well thanks,_ I thought dryly. The natural look was definitely not popular on Izzy. "Oh, she's been acting out of it all morning," Jessica piped in, laughing at my expense.

"It's probably _your_ fault anyway," a boy I didn't know (Connor maybe?) spoke up with a roguish smile at Jake. "Bang all the sense right out of her last night?"

At that Jake laughed, and my stomach turned with revulsion at the vulgar joke. Part of me wondered if this was for real, if Jake was going to let it pass.

But the rest of me wasn't really surprised when Jake asked scornfully, "What _sense_?" _Well. This might get old fast._

Partway through lunch, Angela (completely unrecognizable as the shy, kind girl I'd left behind in a frightening sort of way) and Jessica pulled up a video of the three of us doing something stupid for the sake of laughing, and I was stunned by what I saw.

She was beautiful, as I'd come to gather was her typical state, but she was _loud_. Her smile was enormous and her giggling constant, incessant, as she bounced around in front of the camera with Jessica. I realized at once why my acting thus far had been _so_ inadequate. Izzy was extroverted, loud, social, spontaneous…things that didn't exactly describe me.

I made a mental note to hunt down my phone and find other videos like these. The snippet I'd seen had helped, but I would need much more if I had any hope of coming to school tomorrow ready to play my part (if I decided it was necessary). Or at least understand the error of my ways when inevitably I fail. _Who am I kidding? I suck at lying._

Jake largely ignored me throughout lunch, and I bore it with patience, bidding my time. I'd decide what to do about him later. For now, I focused on surviving the school day.

A few times I looked for the Cullens, but they were nowhere to be found at their regular table. Seeing as the sun wasn't out, I doubted they'd stayed home on account of the weather.

Anxiety soured my appetite, and I pushed my half eaten lunch away from me. _Jake said he sometimes saw Edward_ , I thought, clinging to that fact. _Edward_ has _to be here_.

Really, it was stupid of me to feel so miserable without him. I'd only been apart from him for half a day at most. But the arm around my waist was a suffocating weight, and I found myself missing him desperately.

"Still mad at me?" Jake breathed in my ear near the end of lunch.

"Guess why," I said, unable to curve the flatness in my voice.

"I don't know how things work in that pretty little head of yours," Jake murmured, and much to my shock he nibbled my ear. Chills broke out all over my body, and I immediately felt sick and jerked away from him, struggling to my feet. "Where are you _going_?" Jake demanded sourly like a petulant child.

Distracted by the body that had betrayed me, I said only, "I think I'll go to class early."

Jake turned back to the group with an exasperated sigh. "I don't know why I even _bother_ with her."

I was already dying to know the same thing.

* * *

I ran into Alice on the way to the bathroom.

I'd headed that way to kill time before I went to biology and learned truly whether or not Edward was here in this nightmarish, altered reality. I was distracted by the squeaking of my new boots and the impractical, painful straps of the fashion backpack Izzy favored. But even in my distraction, I would be able to pick Alice's high soprano voice out of a crowd.

"Mr. Molina, I _promise_ you this project could change everything. I'm not just—"

When my head snapped towards the slight girl moving down the opposite end of the path, I knew immediately something was off.

"Alice?" I whispered, brows furrowing.

"—trying to get extra credit. I—"

Her _hair_.

Instead of the stylish pixie cut and soft spikes, it framed her face in a wild, frizzy mass. It was even shorter than before I noticed, but it did little to tame her hair. Even more alarming was the gray hoodie that threatened to swallow her whole.

Alice would _never_ go to school looking like that.

"Alice?" I called out a bit louder, unable to stop myself.

Alice and Mr. Molina glanced at me, and I felt myself pale when I met her eyes.

 _Blue._ Unmistakably so.

"Goodness, Miss Swan," Mr. Molina said with wide eyes. "You look _terrible_."

"Do you need something?"

My eyes widened at the tone. It was…it was _cold_. Her features, so lively a second ago when she was outlining an experiment of some kind to Mr. Molina, set into something like disdain. I'd seen that look on her face, or at least something _like_ it before, but usually it was for my _clothes_ , not _me_.

"Um…" I searched for a plausible explanation for stopping her. I suddenly felt incredibly stupid. What had I _expected_? Jacob hadn't even known who Edward was this morning. If I was BFFs with Alice, I'd have probably already known already. I exhaled sharply as I shook my head. _Nope. I've got nothing_. "Sorry, never mind."

Alice snorted low at that, but she turned back to Mr. Molina without another seconds hesitation. "Look, Mr. Molina, I—"

I turned robotically away from them and continued trudging towards the building.

 _Alright. So…she kind of seems to hate me_ , I mused. I tried to swallow that for approximately three more seconds before I yanked at my hair with a huff. "This doesn't make any _sense_!"

"Did you say something, Miss Swan?" Mr. Molina called.

I grimaced and called back, "I'm _fine_ , Mr. Molina." _Just because I'm not dressed like a hooker doesn't mean I'm insane!_

… _But I should_ probably _lay off on the talking to myself_.

But my frustration remained. I'd meant it; this didn't make any _sense_. Being friends with everyone else sort of made sense. I'd already been friends with them. But could Alice and I _truly_ never have been friends here?

As silly as it sounded, I couldn't imagine anymore how Bella Swan existed without Alice Cullen. Though we'd never been the type to sit and cry into each others shoulder, we…well, we were _friends_. Best friends. There were few people I treasured more than my boyfriend's younger sister.

And now she _hated_ me.

 _Knock it off, Swan_ , I thought, wiping at a miserable tear. I refused to admit it was from anything other than frustration with this absurd situation. _This isn't over yet_.

I still had one more person to meet before I confirmed this nightmarish flip. And if his sister's eyes were any indication, it wouldn't be a happy reunion.

* * *

He sat with his head propped up on his elbow, nearly dozing as students filed past him. The moment I saw him, saw his _face_ , my heart palpitated.

But at the same time, this face was almost…almost _foreign_ to me.

The bruise like shadows were terribly familiar, and he was still pale. But he was undeniably human from the pink flush in his cheeks to the slight bump in his nose.

 _Smack._ I yelped and jumped forward in surprise. As Edward's eyes flashed towards me, I desperately attempted to reconcile the burning sensation of my rear end with reality. _Did someone...just spank me?_

With fastly reddening cheeks, I turned to address the offending hand.

Mike. Of _course_.

"Jake says that's the best way to _get you going_ ," Mike said loudly. My brow furrowed in confusion, but I could only assume that anything Jake told him had to have _some_ dirty meaning. "Move it along, Swan," he said in something like a teasing way.

 _I can't believe Michael Newton just spanked me,_ I thought numbly. _I_ can't believe _that Mike Schmike just touched my butt and made a perverted innuendo. Why is he smiling? Does he_ actually _think I'm going to laugh with him?_

Apparently my expressionless face made him uncomfortable, and he shifted uncomfortably, narrowing his eyes. "What is _up_ with you today?" Mike snorted. "I was _kidding,_ Iz."

"It's Bella," I corrected automatically.

Mike's eyebrows rose to his hairline. "...Sure." I noticed that he pointedly didn't call me by my name, and I sighed and finally unblocked the isle, moving towards my seat with Edward.

"Um…what, did Bree tick you off?" Mike asked.

"Hm?" I said as I began to rifle through my backpack at my desk. I'd tried to promise myself not to look at him _too_ much, but my eyes were drawn to Edward almost immediately. And to my discomfiture, his eyes were _burning_ into mine.

And I felt a shudder ripple down my body. It wasn't just his face that had changed. It was his _eyes._ Emerald green and dark with...with _loathing_. There was no other way to describe it, and my lungs froze in their chest. The world was absolutely freezing in an instant.

I knew this wasn't Edward, not _my_ Edward. Surely _my_ Edward wouldn't look at me that way. But he looked _so much_ like him...

"...Why aren't you sitting by Bree?"

Mike's words brought me back to reality, and I noticed the rest of Edward's expression: confusion. Surely it was diluted by disdain, but it was unmistakable.

I didn't sit here.

 _Oh,_ _ **great**_. I forced my eyes to widen, trying to play dumb much as I had with Jessica. "Oh," I said. It sounded incredibly insincere to my ears, and I inwardly winced. "Whoops. I wasn't really paying attention."

"Yeah, he's kind of easy to miss like that, isn't he?" Mike said cheerfully.

Instant antagonism flared up. "That's not what I meant." I snatched my backpack up. "Sorry, Edward," I muttered as I left the desk, my safe haven.

Mike swore under his breath. "You're _so uptight_ today, Iz!"

"It's Bella," I corrected as I sat by a girl I vaguely knew to be Bree. She immediately turned to chat with me, and in turn I acted as lethargic and shy as ever.

"Iz, Bella, Isabella, whoever you are!" Mike muttered grumpily as he sat two tables down from me, the table behind Edward. I could feel his eyes periodically on me, examining me, inspecting me. I had no doubt I was failing every test.

Coming to school tomorrow as Izzy was _definitely_ out now.

* * *

It's like a weight on your chest, knowing that someone you love…loathes you.

It crushes all the breath from your lungs, and every rattling inhale is a struggle even as you're attempting to smile and laugh with people that feel like strangers.

It was so much worse than Alice hating me. _So much worse._ I couldn't fathom, couldn't quite grasp how Edward and I could be at such odds with each other. How could he _not_ drive me to school every morning? How could he _not_ hold my hand? How could he not…not love me, not see any worth in me?

Worse, how could he remain so quiet in my presence? We walked the length of the hallway nearly side by side, but he never acknowledged me, seeming entirely distracted by his phone. How could he not trust me with his thoughts at that very moment, whatever it was be it brilliant or petty? Edward's thoughts had been mine to access for months now, and now he was utterly silent.

With Alice, it was simply impossible to understand. With Edward…it was _unfathomable_. The truth is, Alice and I aren't _really_ best friends. We'd been good friends, sisters, but that title belonged to the men we loved.

That's what I'd lost as I shifted worlds: my best friend. The _love of my life_.

 _I'm going to wake up,_ I thought stubbornly as I turned on my car. _This is all a horrid dream. I will wake up, and Edward will be right beside me, and I'll tell him_ all _about this stupid, bizarre dream_.

It seemed plausible enough. I mean, I'd never hallucinated anything before. What did I know? Even though everything felt so real and made so much sense in a totally concrete way…

When I nearly slammed into the car behind me because I'd forgotten to adjust for the incredible acceleration of the sports car, I nearly started crying right then and there.

* * *

I spent my time at home hunting for clues as to Izzy's life.

I found report cards and nearly vomited. Izzy was lucky to be _graduating_ it looked like. I'd never much considered college since I'd discovered Edward's secret because…well, obviously I was going to be with him. College didn't really make sense anymore. But with Edward gone…well, with Edward _human_ , college suddenly seemed like a _very_ real necessity. And if Edward was as brilliant here as he was back home…he would be leaving me for an Ivy League school without a backward glance.

It was irrational to worry. I mean, clearly we were at odds at the moment. But the possibility of…of somehow working things out and being unable to follow him…

It was paralyzing.

I also discovered Izzy's phone, and I almost wished I hadn't. The _texts_ I sent! I was as backstabbing and vicious as I was stupid. Even with chat speak, I was a horrid speller. And I used that horrible spelling and grammar to gossip and rant and accuse. My texts with Jake were the _worst_. As I scrolled through the history, I began to see clues for why Izzy and Jake put up with each other.

There were times when Jake and Izzy were almost…sweet to each other, when Jake would grovel and beg and complement. And Izzy would _melt_ , completely forgive him. The most recent texts were, in fact, of that variety.

But then they'd be followed by sullen spells. Jake was _always_ the instigator, and I discovered that Izzy didn't exactly take it lying down. Despite Jake's at times absurdly cruel words, she never hesitated to cuss him out.

But in the texts, I could _feel_ her humiliation, her depression, her…hopelessness.

But any pity I felt for her evaporated when I saw the way she treated others in turn. She was obviously caught in an awful situation, but she pushed others away with vapid lies and nastiness. _Everyone_ knew that Izzy was a backstabber.

And as a consequence, she'd really been alone.

She had no filter, and her entire life was laid out for everyone to see if they just thought to ask. And after a time, I could no longer stomach it and turned away from the texts towards videos and photos.

True to form, Izzy had _hundreds_ of videos of herself and her friends. As I began to watch them and stopped wincing at every vulgar or unintelligent thing happening, I began to get a more complete picture. Over text, she was a viper. In person, Izzy was _utterly_ charming. Truly, she remained unintelligent and at times scathing and callous. But her laugh and smile were beautiful, and I witnessed her charm working over and over. She wasn't just rude and awful. She was… _fun_.

The phone vibrated constantly, but I simply didn't know how to respond to the texts as Izzy or Bella. Jake called twice, but I didn't answer. I didn't know how to deal with any of it. I couldn't even begin to know how to act shallow and rude and cruel like Izzy or text like a four year old. But I also wasn't sure how radically I could alter from being Izzy without people calling me crazy.

I searched my email to see if Izzy maintained contact with Renee there because I hadn't been able to find anything in the texts. But Izzy never really used the email at all, and there was nothing.

For whatever reason, Renee wasn't in Izzy's life at all.

After some hesitation, I searched my father's name on google to see what would arise. After all, we had to get the money _somewhere_ …

It was then that I discovered I was now the daughter of a millionaire.

Apparently Charlie had gone into business with Billy back in high school, invented a new technology to be used in cell phones, and then retired by the age of thirty, fantastically rich beyond their wildest dreams. _That explains why Jake is in Forks,_ I thought as I scrolled through photos. _Billy moved back to Forks with Charlie._

Although his success story was online, my dad was by no means a celebrity, and I found little (really nothing) about his love life. That comforted me some. _Izzy_ might have put her entire life on display online, but Charlie seemed just as private as I remembered.

"Iz!" I heard Charlie call. "Dinner!"

Well. _This_ would be interesting.

I glanced at the mirror before I left, and I knew more than ever after watching videos of Iz how poorly my attire matched Izzy's image. But when I recalled waking up naked with Jacob Black in my bed, I found I didn't mind the contrast much.

I hurried down the stairs and followed the smell of fried fish to the kitchen.

"I know you're trying to be vegetarian, but fish really isn't that bad," Charlie was saying, his back to me as he pulled out plates and loaded them with food. "You won't die if you have _one_ meal of meat. Besides, fish is good protein."

I felt the tension of the day melt away, and I found myself smiling. He was different, more talkative and less awkward, but at least this was _one_ person who didn't hate me or treat me like dirt. "No, that's fine. Thanks, Dad."

Charlie laughed at that. "What's got _you_ in such a good mood? I thought you'd be yelling at me until—" he stopped when he turned and saw me. His face dropped. "Oh, no. Who died?"

I felt myself sigh. "Nobody's dead, and I'm fine. I just got tired of wearing all the makeup."

"…Really," Charlie said, unconvinced. "…You and Jake doing okay?"

"No," I said honestly. "But that's not why I look like this."

"You need…ice cream?" Charlie tried. "We can skip dinner and go straight to dessert. I've got a chocolate silk pie in the freezer."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and sighed again. I'd dealt with a suspicious Charlie enough back home before as well. "No, fish is fine."

Charlie considered me for a moment before shrugging. "Oh, well. You look better without all that gunk on your face anyway."

I felt a smile tug at my lips as I moved to help with unloading the takeout onto my plate. He'd been the first person to say so all day.

* * *

Dinner with Charlie had been…interesting. It lacked the awkward, stilted conversation that I was used to, but it was much nicer in a way to have my Dad actually talking to me. I'm not sure _why_ he had a relationship with Izzy when she seemed to have burned bridges with every other important person to me, but I wasn't complaining.

He about had a heart attack when I started to clean up, but he kept his mouth shut. I urged him silently to get used to it. After a survey of Izzy's life, I'd pretty much made my decision. I think she could _use_ a bit more of Bella in her life.

It was seven thirty by the time I'd cleaned up, and I excused myself to my room. I knew Charlie was freaked out to some extent, but he let me leave without a word.

Once back in my room, I turned on my homework. Everyone would know for certain I was insane, but I refused to fail out of school out of tradition. It may be too late to save her semester grade entirely, but she would get an A on every grade forward.

Taking control, actually _doing_ something, felt right. And as I continued to do homework, I made other resolutions as well.

I didn't know why the Cullens disliked me so much, but I _would not_ let it stand. They were the some of the most important people to me, and I wouldn't leave things as they were.

Alice and I had been friends before despite our differences in fashion and temperament. Now that we were more similar than ever, I couldn't imagine why that would ruin our chances of being friends permanently.

As for Edward…

Well, it's obvious. I'll always love him. There's no use in wasting time moping. I'd simply have to find a way to wriggle back into his life. Perhaps he'd never love me. And truly, it would destroy me if it came to that permanently. But then…it had never made sense for him to love me the first time around anyway. If I wasn't quite so lucky again…well, that would be how things stood.


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N:** So...if we're being real here, I have a tiny confession to make (that probably no one will read; ah, the joys of author's notes): I've already written this story up to the twelfth, thirteenth chapters. So I'm basically just updating when I feel like it. Ha. As a hint, reviews ensure a quicker update. ;) And sorry that this chapter is a bit short. I assure you, it's one of the shortest.

 **Disclaimer:** Sigh. Do I really have to say this every chapter? I own neither my inspiration ( www.[inset the name of this lovely site]/s/4025300/1/Reverse) nor the characters I've been having so much fun with.

Chapter 2:

I regarded my car with some distaste and shook my head. For all I knew, my car had ended up in a dump years ago since Billy the millionaire had no use for dilapidated cars, and I really had no idea if Jake was still into cars. All the same, I found it hard to stomach that my only other option was a _sports car_ , especially in the context of Jake's poor taste jokes on my being a horrible driver. _What is Charlie_ thinking _?_

Reluctantly I got into the car, tossing the fashion backpack in the passenger seat. I knew it was expensive, but I found it hard to give every item Izzy owned the reverence its price warranted. I would be _just_ as fine with a backpack from Target.

The car purred to life, and I fiddled with the radio to distract myself from the silence of the car. The quiet efficiency of the car reminded me too much of the Cullens.

As I drove to school, I reviewed my goals: establish my name as Bella, hunt down the Cullens and extend _some_ sort of hand of friendship towards Alice, and talk with Mr. Banner about sitting by Edward to get help on assignments.

When I pulled into the parking lot, I rolled my eyes at the sight before me. Jacob Black with flowers, leaning against the office building. Seeing as I was his only steady girlfriend, I could only assume they were for me.

I parked as far away from him as I could, dreading this. I'd added another goal, but it hadn't been necessarily a 'daily' one, just something I needed to accomplish at my first opportunity: break up with Jake.

It only made sense. I had _no_ intention of ever being caught in a situation like yesterday morning again, much less letting him kiss me or wrap an arm around my waist. Obviously I was entirely committed to Edward, and it wasn't fair to Jacob under those circumstances. And it wasn't fair to Izzy either to subject her to the abusive relationship that is Jacob Black.

But that didn't mean I had to look forward to _doing_ it.

Jake was crossing the parking lot before I'd even opened up the door, and by the time I was fiddling with the keys to lock the door, Jake was right there. "Hey," Jake said, and for a moment I heard the old Jacob, and I thought I understood some of the hold Jacob had on Izzy. "You're still pretty mad at me, aren't you?"

"I don't know what you mean," I said as I tucked my keys away. He mistook my neutral tone for that of subdued anger.

"Well, you're still dressing down to punish me, right?" Jake said. _Wow. Trust him to make my image change about him._ "Can I ask you what the heck I did to piss you off?" He hadn't offered me the flowers. Maybe my lack of makeup had soured his apology.

 _Oh, I don't know,_ I thought dryly. _You only treat me like_ trash _._ "Jake, I think we've both known for a _long_ time how unhealthy this is."

"Unhealthy?" Jake repeated with a stunned, derisive laugh.

"This isn't going to work," I interrupted coolly as I made my way towards English. I'd thought long and hard about Jake, and I'd decided that of all the things to repair in this life…Jacob Black wasn't one of them. Izzy had wasted enough time attempting that and doing her fair share of damage in the process. I knew now after looking at the texts that however horribly Jake and his friends treated me publically, Izzy did her fair share of harassment in private.

I like Jake, or at least, I like the one I left behind. But there was almost _nothing_ of him left here.

"Look, I know that we've been at each others throats lately," Jake said, apparently attempting to steer the conversation back towards his intended apology. "I think I got a bit carried away."

The apology was almost worthless. _Carried away isn't the problem. A foundational lack of respect and a relationship build_ purely _out of lust is the problem._

"Let's break up," I said, ignoring his words, just pushing ahead.

" _What_?"

"Let's date other people. Let's give each other space. Let's _not_ sit together at lunch," I said.

"Not sit together at lunch?" Jake snorted derisively and swore at me. I forced myself not to flinch. "You expect me to go sit in the library while you gossip with you friends?"

"I'll be the one to leave," I said. I got out my phone. "I'm deleting your number from my phone." _If I can ever figure it out._ Expensive phones were the worst.

"You're _crazy_!" Jake exclaimed. "You can't just—"

"I have to get to class," I sighed, ducking into the classroom.

Well. Considering I barely let him talk, that went surprisingly…not horrible.

* * *

I must have corrected a hundred different people on my name, and I knew word was spreading of the "new" Isabella Swan: quiet, significantly uglier (not exactly the way I would phrase my physical transformation, but I'd heard it in the restrooms often enough to admit defeat), newly unattached from Jake and her friend group, and…smart? Maybe? I think the general consensus was that I was just doing it to mess with Jake and that I'd come back to school dressed as slutty as ever in the very near future.

Jessica was angry at me because I hadn't answered her texts, but she wasn't very confrontational. I could just see it in her eyes, especially when I very obviously stopped listening. I felt a bit guilty, but the _malice_ in her eyes whenever I slipped diluted it.

Angela was downright _terrifying_ , so I avoided her like the plague as I set out towards Mr. Banner's class first thing.

He was eating lunch alone at his desk, reading the textbook with eyes wrinkled in concentration. He nearly had a heart attack when I knocked on the door. "Oh, it's you, Izzy."

"Um, hi," I said, stepping into the room. Mr. Banner wasn't the type to ask me if anything was seriously wrong like some teachers had, but I noticed some surprise when he took in the modest brown blouse and slightly baggy jeans. "I was wondering if I could talk to you about where I sit in class." No sense in beating around the bush, right?

Mr. Banner sighed. "I understand that you hate Bree, but you're _just_ going to have to deal with it."

Apparently I'd done this before. And apparently I hated my lab partner. "No," I said quickly. "Bree is fine. I'm just concerned about my grade."

"Are you," Mr. Banner sighed, setting the textbook on the text. "Yes, your father has been emailing me some as well."

"Oh," I said. Again, news to me. "Well, I'm planning to get serious. I was just thinking that…maybe if I sat by somebody I'm not especially on good terms with, somebody intelligent, it might help me focus. I could even get help on assignments and labs."

"I'm listening," Mr. Banner said.

"I was thinking…Edward Cullen." I held my breath and watched with dismay as Mr. Banner's eyes darkened.

"I'm sorry, Bella, but I'm not sure that's such a great idea," he said.

"I promise you this is entirely grade related," I tried. "Can't we at least _try_ it? If my next test grade doesn't impress you, then you can move me wherever you want in the class. I'm already considering asking Edward to tutor me."

Mr. Banner laughed, apparently shocked. "Can't you just leave that group alone?"

I bit my lip, wondering what on Earth he meant by 'group' or leaving them alone. "This is an entirely academically motivated request," I pressed, hoping that was sufficient answer. "Please."

Mr. Banner ran a hand over his face, tired. "Well, if _his_ grade goes down, then I'm putting you next to Bree for the rest of the year permanently."

"Edward will be fine," I promised him. I doubted even James himself could distract Edward from getting a perfect score on a test. Or at least a very high grade considering the fact that they were apparently human and had only taken the courses once thus far in their lives.

Mr. Banner slammed his textbook shut with a sigh. "I suppose I might as well draw up a new seating chart right now…"

"Thank you," I said, nearly sagging in relief. He nodded his head but didn't say anything until I was nearly out the door.

"Oh, and Bella?" I paused to turn and regard him. "I'm not easily impressed."

 _When I get a high A on the next test, trust me, you will be._ "Sure."

* * *

My first stop was the library to hunt down the Cullens. Hopefully they were sitting together, but honestly I would be fine with just Alice. She was _really_ the first person I was going to try and break down.

Perhaps it was sheer luck, but she was actually leaving it when I was about to enter it.

Her name was out of my lips before I could stop myself. "Alice!"

Alice stopped to roll her eyes at me. "What do you want this time?" In her arms were several textbooks.

"Here, let me help you with that—"

She backed away from me, narrowing her eyes. "Not this time, Princess." The nickname caught me by surprise, and she must have seen that. A bitter laugh escaped her lips. "So, what, you can run off and dump them in a toilet? I'm not in sixth grade anymore."

 _I_ did _that_? I flinched. _This is going to be harder than I thought_. "No, I just thought…they look heavy." Her arms were beginning to shake, but her face remained as relaxed and disdainful as ever.

"Whatever. Did you want something?" Alice asked.

"Here, why don't you keep walking wherever you're going?" I compromised. "I'll talk to you on the way."

"Whatever," Alice snorted, and I bit back a smile. She was completely different, but I couldn't say that was necessarily a bad thing. Not to say I liked her one way or the other, but I found myself surprised with how little her tone affected me.

"I was curious about what you were talking to Mr. Molina about yesterday."

"What do you _think_?" Alice muttered, her voice growing strained.

"Really, why don't you—"

"I'm _fine_ ," Alice interrupted.

"And quite frankly I have no clue," I admitted. I'd learned quite a bit about the popular crowd, but Izzy hadn't left _anything_ about the Cullens. "An…experiment of some sort?"

"Doesn't matter now," Alice said, voice pinched with effort. "He turned it down. I'm doing…something else."

"As in…a _science_ experiment?" I checked with wonder. Could the Alices be _any_ more different?

"Look, I don't have time for you," Alice snapped. We neared a door and I quickly opened it for her. "…Thanks," she muttered, ducking into the building. "Now find someone else to plague, alright?"

"Well, would you like any help with it?" I asked quickly, unable to help how pathetic the request sounded. I already had a feeling that I knew how she'd respond.

"Nope," Alice said without a second of hesitation.

 _Well, I can't very well_ annoy _her into my being my friend. Although depending on whom you ask, that's what she did with me._ With no way of staying without being incredibly obnoxious and no way of finding out what I'd done to offend her and Edward, I accepted my defeat. "Alright. I suppose I'll get out of your hair, then," I said. "Is this the room you're trying to go into?"

"Yes," Alice said. "And before you get any ideas about locking me in, I'll have you know that there's no place I'd rather be in."

 _Locking her in? Do I have the_ ability _to do that?_ I would have to inspect my key chain more closely. "…Okay?"

Alice's cheeks pinked, but that was probably just from exertion as I opened up the door for her to rush by me. She dropped the textbooks on the counter with a _slam_. "… _Bye_ ," Alice called pointedly.

"Is this where you always go at lunch?" I asked curiously.

Alice snorted. "I don't know. Why do you care?"

I shrugged vaguely. "Alright. I'll leave you to it. Enjoy working on your experiment…thing."

Restraining a smile, I let the door fall shut. "Well, _that's_ going to be interesting." The smile dropped from my face. "And quite possibly _impossible_."

* * *

When I got to class, Mr. Banner was sitting at his desk reading something like usual, so I helplessly sat down at the same place as before. My eyes strayed towards Edward. Would I go another day without speaking to him? I know it sounds dramatic, but the thought felt like torture.

Charlie, Alice, even my mom if I figured out what happened to her, were all wonderful to talk to. But, Edward is unequivocally the most important person to me. And he'd barely even _looked_ at me yesterday.

It was like the longest hunting trip in the world except I didn't know for certain whether he'd be coming home again.

But Mr. Banner didn't let me down, and when the bell right, he was announcing a seating chart. Everyone groaned, but I found it difficult to fight a smile.

Mr. Banner hadn't been obvious, thank goodness. But he'd left Edward where he was at our usual table, allowing me to reclaim the seat I'd lost to this absurd world flip.

Edward didn't even spare me a glance as I sat down, much as before when I sat here by mistake. The silent treatment.

"Hi," I said, so soft I worried he hadn't heard me. When he didn't react, I sucked in a breath. _**Why**_ _did he have to be so intimidating?_ "Hey, Edward."

"Oh, is _that_ my name?" His tone was sarcastic, I realized, when he turned to offer an _extremely_ unimpressed look. His eyes were as frigid as yesterday. Once again, I had the impression that his loathing for me surpassed Alice's.

I had no idea what he was talking about. "Um…"

He scoffed and turned back to his book, ignoring me once more.

That was _not_ an option, even if he terrified me. "You'd prefer Edward, right?" Edward didn't answer, and I felt my eye twitch. Apparently that was a stupid question. "I think he moved me next to you because you can help me," I said. "With my grade, I mean."

"I doubt _anything_ can save your grade," he said flatly.

I sighed. "Yeah. I know. But I suppose I have to start trying _sometime_ , right?" He didn't honor that with an answer.

"Get started," Mr. Banner commanded, and I realized with a start he was talking about the lab before us.

Edward sighed and put his book away, snatching up the instructions. "We're identifying the stages of cell division," he said as he read. He looked up at me with a cold smirk. "Ladies first?"

 _There is_ no _way that he thinks Izzy is capable of that._ Which meant he really just wanted to see her struggle, leaving me to wonder just what Izzy had done to him. Edward wasn't a petty person, I'm sure. Well, he was occasionally, but mostly to people like Mike or Jacob. People he deeply dislikes.

I rather doubted his treatment was unwarranted. Nevertheless, I swallowed and took the microscope. Seeing as this was the _third_ time I'd done this lab, it was simple enough to identify the stage. "Prophase," I said, sliding it towards him. He didn't write it down unsurprisingly. Instead he checked it and then paused, staring into it. "Is there a problem?"

"…Nothing." I watched him write it down. He slipped in a different slide and checked. "Anaphase."

"May I?" I said, extending my hand towards him. He looked as me as if I was insane, so I explained, "Studying, you know. Learn what anaphase looks like."

"How did you know the last one was prophase then?" Edward said as he slid the microscope carefully towards me.

"Only learned some of them," I lied carelessly. "Mmm. Okay." I grabbed the next slide and replaced it. "Interphase," I said and slid it back towards him.

When Edward checked, he regarded me for a second and repeated dryly, "Only learned _some_ of them?"

I shrugged. We stayed in the same rhythm until we'd identified all five while all the rest of the groups struggled around us.

"So, tell me, when did you take the time to learn _some_ of them?" Edward said. His words were casual as he propped his head on his hand to face me, but his eyes were as cold and piercing as usual. At least he was _talking_ to me. _I'll take what I can get._

I shrugged. "I was bored last night." _The lies are coming so easily._

"Uh huh," Edward said, unimpressed. "Did sex last night include studying?"

I flinched and looked away from him. That…one was painful. Somehow I hadn't expected Edward to go there with the rest of the male population of Forks.

But that wasn't _entirely_ fair. Mike did it because he was a pig. Edward did it because he _hated_ me. One was a matter of respect. The other a matter of…bitterness.

It wasn't forgiven. But it was understandable.

"No sex," I said quietly, fidgeting with my sleeve. "Just…me. Studying. I also had time at lunch, actually."

"Did you," Edward said, sounding excessively uninterested.

Much like before, I didn't much care. I just wanted him to keep _talking_. "Yes. You don't eat in the cafeteria, right?"

"Why does it matter?"

Well, he had me there. I sighed, deciding to change the subject. "I ran into Alice at the lab."

Edward jerked towards me, eyes narrowing. "Listen, Swan," he hissed. "I don't know what you're trying to accomplish right now, and quite frankly, I don't care. But you leave her _alone_."

I held up my hands in surrender. "Why?" I asked, daring him to give something away.

"Do we need a reason to be left in peace?" Edward laughed coldly. "Haven't you done _enough_ damage?"

I sighed, beginning to get frustrated. "I'm not trying to do _any_ damage. I was just… _curious_ about what she was doing. Sorry."

"Why weren't you eating lunch with your so called friends?" He demanded.

"Why do I have to explain myself to you?" I snapped. I paused, frustrated. "…Sorry. That was rude."

"Are you for _real_?" Edward scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief.

I ducked my head meekly. "Yes?"

"Yo, Swan!" I heard Mike hissed. "What did Cullen put for number two?"

He was _still_ on number two? "I don't know," I said, irritation leaking into my voice. "Mike, we were supposed to memorize the stages for homework."

Mike's eyes bugged out when he saw my face. "Oh, _great_. Will you _please_ start doing something about your ugly face? This is the _second day_ in a row, Iz."

I only just stopped myself from laughing out loud. Jacob had probably told him about the breakup, then. "It's Bella," I said, turning back around without another word. I heard Mike curse me, and I stared resolutely forward at the front of the classroom. I didn't much feel like talking anymore.

* * *

After school, I drove straight to Port Angelus with credit card in hand. I was running out of good clothes, and I knew the perfect thrift store.

Normally I wouldn't have bothered with Good Will or anything. Typically the sales wrack sufficed. But the luxury around me was _suffocating_ , and I thought I'd go insane if I had to wear another article of clothing that cost a hundred dollars or more originally. It was a statement.

And, if Mike's reaction today was any indication, it wouldn't be a popular one. For whatever reason, I was starting to get the idea that Izzy's body was like a public work of art, and everyone started to get angry when I went around defacing it with…you know, normalcy.

I wouldn't dress like a slob, but for heaven's sake! Forks High had gotten _absurdly_ materialistic.

Fifty bucks and half a new wardrobe later, I was finished with Port Angelus and on my way home.

* * *

"You know, Dad," I said as I loaded up my plate, "I can try cooking for us."

Charlie dropped the fork he was holding as he turned to regard me with wide eyes. "…Oh."

His fear was so palpable that I laughed. "No, I promise you that if it turns out horribly I'll buy the takeout myself."

"No, I'm sure it would be fine," Charlie said with a brave smile.

"Do you like lasagna?" I asked. "I think I have a recipe for that."

"Lasagna?" Charlie paused. "Are you sure that's not too…advanced?"

"Give me a shot," I said with a teasing smile. "I promise, I'm not as bad as you think. Probably."

Charlie shrugged. "Oh, well. So long as I can sleep it off—hey!"

"Be nice," I said, retracting the hand that I'd slapped him with. "You haven't even _tasted_ it yet."

"This is true," he admitted. "Alright. I'll give you a shot, Chef Swan." I rolled my eyes at the title, but nearly laughed again.

Thank goodness there was _one_ person in this crazy town that didn't hate me, even if he _was_ afraid I'd give him food poisoning.


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Pft. Whoops. I thought I'd have the next chapter up fairly soon after the last, but this last week has been crazy. I was doing a church camp (EFY) and ended up having to leave my laptop behind with all my writing. Sorry about the wait! And...also, this chapter is about as long as the last. Whoops. They'll get longer. Eventually.

And I loved all of your reviews so much! They really motivated me and helped keep me positive about this story! They really do make my day. :)

 **Disclaimer** : Yup. Still own almost nothing. Check my profile for link to the inspiration to this story, _Reverse_ by Lady Moonglow.

Chapter 3:

"Miss Swan? Can I speak with you?"

I looked up from gathering my books to see Miss Palmer standing before my desk. She was a young teacher, only in her mid twenties, and I found it very difficult _not_ to like her. Her counterpart wasn't extremely different, actually. This one certainly dressed better, though.

"Sure," I said, stuffing my binder into my backpack. Miss Palmer lead the way to her desk and leaned against it, regarding me with folded arms for a few awkward beats of silence before leaning over and holding up something. An essay.

" _This_ …" Miss Palmer said slowly, enunciating clearly, "is a _spectacular_ analysis of MacBeth. Superbly written, Miss Swan." Miss Palmer tilted her head to eye me critically. "What's even more surprising is that I can't seem to find its twin online. Almost as if you… _wrote_ it yourself."

Ouch. Well, I suppose Izzy deserved that. "I didn't cheat."

"And did you relearn the English language overnight?" Miss Palmer shook her head. "Something is very different about you, Miss Swan. But…I can't say that I'm complaining." She was quiet for a moment, as if deliberating, before she said, "If you are willing to rewrite the other essays you've done thus far, after school with me…I am willing to negotiate last semester's grade."

I felt my eyes widen and my heart beat escalate. " _Really?_ "

"I'm willing to reward effort," Miss Palmer said with a shrug. "If you are as intelligent as this essay implies, I'd hate to rob you of a grade that reflects that."

This teacher was an _angel_. "Thank you _so much_ ," I said, still stunned. "I…I will definitely not let you down."

"I hope so," she said. "So, what do you say we start with the Great Gatsby next Wednesday? Plenty of time to brush up on it."

I'd read that book three times. I could probably do the essay _now_. "Sounds good."

"I'll see you then, Miss Swan," Miss Palmer said with a smile tugging on her lips.

Well, at least Izzy would have a solid, year long A in _one_ class this year.

* * *

I'm not sure anyone could believe their eyes when I ignored Jake in the hallway. I'm sure to them it must have seemed odd that the most explosively melodramatic couple known to walk these halls had been relatively silent for over a week.

It had not been without effort on my part. I'd been ignoring his texts for days, and I'd taken to arriving at school at odd times, either extremely early or almost late, to avoid him. He was frighteningly adaptable, actually.

I suppose when I ignored him this time, it was one time too many.

"Look at me when I'm _talking_ to you," Jake said harshly as he grabbed my arm. Something inside me shriveled up at the harsh touch. The malice in it jarred me more than the rough indents in my flesh. "You think you can just _end_ things?"

This was supposedly a thing for him and Izzy to make up very publically…or breakup. Hence the parking lot fiascos when a private visit at my house would have sufficed. "Jake, let me go," I said, voice low.

"Look, you little slut," Jake said as he tugged me up against him. His breath was hot in my face. I forced myself not to flinch. "You think you have _options_ besides me? You think anybody is interested in you and all your crap?"

"Let me go," I whispered. "I have to get to class."

"If you're trying to impress anyone, everyone knows you're a moron, Izzy," Jake said sneered. "You won't be attracting any nerds any time soon, _especially_ looking like that."

It was frightening to see the extent of the possessiveness and malice written plainly on his face. In a way, he was correct to be paranoid that I was trying to move on with someone else. But his reaction to it was terrifyingly inappropriate. "Please let go." I attempted to wrench my arm away, but his fingers tightened. When I flinched, he leaned in closer.

"Come on," he muttered, searching my eyes as if to find his ex girlfriend buried there. "You _know_ I don't want to be like this with you. But you're acting like an _idiot_."

I looked around helplessly, searching for some sort of help. But everyone either ignored us or was gawking unsympathetically. Tears pricked my eyes. I felt so _completely_ helpless. What could I do to break away when he was already so much stronger, when getting away physically was impossible? What could I say without sinking to his level or escalating things?

How could I make him _respect_ me?

Well, I wouldn't cry, for one thing.

Blinking back the tears, I stared up at him with new strength. "I really do need to get to class," I said, my voice ringing out numb and detached. It was all that I could muster up. "I'm sorry that this isn't playing out like you wanted it to, but I'm not going to get back together with you. Now please let go; you're going to leave a bruise."

"Oh, I've left a lot more than bruises, babe," Jake said, roughly tossing my arm away from him. "I've left a _brand_."

I didn't answer as I hurried towards history, trailing whispers in my wake the entire way.

* * *

My phone vibrated with another text, and I snatched it off the table and stuffed it into my backpack before turning it off. Edward glanced at me, but I didn't offer any explanation.

"Trouble in paradise?" He murmured as he scrawled in the answers. We were supposed to be working together, but since we already knew it all, he was just filling in the answers.

I didn't know how to respond to that. _Paradise?_ No such thing. "What do you think?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest. I'd come to expect sneers and little insults from Edward. Whatever chemistry I'd shared with his counterpart did _not_ translate across the dimensions. This Edward hated me, simple as that. And outside of being cordial here as his lab mate, I did little to mitigate the situation.

The truth is, earning the respect of teachers, getting into the good graces of my father was _easy_ , simple. Teachers thought I was dumb, so I displayed intelligence. And Charlie was already on good terms with Izzy; it wasn't difficult to impress him. But I had no _clue_ why Edward hated me so much. If it were a matter of my being shallow and cruel before, I should have earned his good will by now. But whatever I'd done to him couldn't be solved by acting polite.

So I focused my efforts on simple things like making Charlie dinner and doing my homework. I'd find a way to get into Alice's good graces later. And Edward…I thought as little about him as I possibly could manage.

Edward, rather predictably, didn't answer when his words didn't get a rise out of me. He just filled in the next question.

"Why do you hate me so much?" I asked quietly. There was nothing to lose, really. I'd already lost him to Izzy's actions long ago.

Edward's head snapped towards me, eyes burning into mine. "…You _disgust_ me," Edward said, his voice rough with anger. The reaction was so hostile that I gasped. "As if you don't _know_!"

It was simply too surreal, too ridiculous that a face so beloved to me would find me worthy of such _hatred_. Part of me was getting sick and _tired_ of this stupid misunderstanding. If he knew I wasn't Izzy, if he just _knew_ that there was no reason to hate me, not really…

I suppose it was that frustration that obliterated my filter. "But I don't," I said, heart in my throat as I admitted that key weakness. "When are you going to put the pieces together, Edward? I'm _not Izzy_."

Even as he glared, his brows lowered in confusion. "What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

 _Please believe me. Please, even though you don't trust me at all, please just listen and…_

But as I searched his expression and read the animosity and _malice_ there, I knew that this confession was vain at best and hopelessly foolish and pathetic at worst.

He would not listen. He would never believe me. He'd probably put me in an insane asylum if he found out at this point.

"Exactly what I just said," I said, a halfhearted, final word vomit before my filter was flipped back on. "I'm notIzzy."

Mr. Banner called our attention forward, telling us to pack up. I began to do so numbly, wondering how badly I'd just screwed up.

But if I was honest with myself, I'd _wanted_ to screw up. I wanted to push past this stalemate that I'd just been _accepting_. Even if it was dangerous. Even if it got me locked up.

"What are you trying to accomplish with absurd statements like that?" Edward murmured to me, his voice unnaturally but familiarly harsh. I appreciated his discretion, at least. Only I could hear him.

"Never mind," I said, pulling away. I'd been _trying_ to make him take me seriously. Obviously that hadn't worked.

I'd made a simple miscalculation here with Edward. I'd thought just because he'd loved me before, he would fall in love with me all over again. And I'd somehow regain what I'd lost.

But if I recalled correctly, Edward had wanted nothing to do with me originally. It was only his curiosity in me that allowed any deeper connection to be formed.

Edward here _obviously_ wasn't interested in me outside of watching me flinch at a particularly cutting remark from him or his classmates.

So what was the _point_? I'd never gain any purchase in his heart, and if I did, it would be completely independent of any asinine declarations like _"I'm not Izzy."_

…Except for the miserable fact that I was still in love with him and missed him _desperately_. I'd gone weeks without so much as a _smile_ from him, much less a kind word or a kiss. And as pathetic as that made me…it was still true.

* * *

"Dad?" I asked hesitantly, pushing the peas around on my plate to distract myself even as I asked the question.

"Hm?" He said in between a bite of chicken pot pie.

"What do you know about the Cullens?"

Charlie began to cough, and I had to actually get to my feet and pound his back before he could rasp out an answer. "Why do you want to talk about _them_?"

I nearly groaned right there. Whatever drama happened with the Cullens, Charlie must have gotten involved somehow. "Just tell me what you know, please."

Charlie eyed me wearily but sighed. Like most anything else, Charlie didn't seem to be able to refuse me. "They're…nice people," he muttered, eying me as if for an explosion. "Dr. Cullen is a good man. He's never held…what happened…against me."

"What happened?" I repeated, and he nearly flinched.

"Come on, Bells," Charlie said, and the nickname warmed my heart. He'd been confused like everyone else by my switch to Bella, but he'd picked it up easily enough. Turns out I actually _had_ been Bella once upon a time, but when we moved to Forks when I was eleven, I'd insisted on Izzy. "You know I love you."

That hung in the air, and I exhaled slowly, trying to figure out what he could mean by that. I was struck by inspiration then, though, and I hesitated a long moment before speaking. "What do _you_ think happened?" I said. "Please be honest." Perhaps he would construe that as a child asking her father for his opinion rather than for facts she should already have known.

Charlie sighed. "The past is in the past, kiddo."

"Please. I need to know," I said. "I just want to move forward, but…it's hard to apologize with just my perspective. It would help a lot if you were honest." The half truths rolled off of my tongue easily. Indeed, I wasn't _really_ lying.

Charlie was quiet for a long moment, not touching his food. "You really want to apologize again?"

"Yes," I said. "I want to make amends."

Charlie sighed. "Alright, then." He sucked in a breath. "I think you just fell into a bad crowd. Your friends, they're nice enough…but they weren't _always_ …" he trailed off, obviously struggling.

"No, they're pretty much the worst kind of crowd," I affirmed. "And they're not my friends. At least, not anymore."

"Really," Charlie said, surprised. "I thought those were just rumors."

I rolled my eyes heavenward. _A small town indeed._ Even as a millionaire my father could stay up to date on my social life. "Nope."

"Well, when you were all freshmen…they were _merciless_ ," Charlie said darkly. "The Cullen kid and his friends were a tight group. Not a lot got to them or through them, if you know what I mean. I think…in some sick sort of way, you saw that as a challenge."

"Cullen kid?" I repeated numbly.

"You know, Edward," Charlie said.

"And his friends?"

"Mary Alice, Rosalie Hale, and Emmett McCarthy," Charlie rattled off. "Good kids."

It made a lot of sense, actually, that they wouldn't all be related. Carlisle was only their adopted father as vampires. I felt incredibly stupid for not making the connection sooner.

Then confusion struck. "But wait. What about Jasper?"

Charlie eyed me with some surprise. "Jasper? Who's that?"

 _No Jasper?_ My heart began to sink. _Then where on Earth_ is _he?_ "Sorry. I guess nobody. Continue then."

"You sure?" I nodded, and Charlie was quiet for a moment. "You started…bullying them. Online, in person. You used your friends at school to help. I think you stole McCarthy's clothes from the school showers once. You nominated Alice for Homecoming Queen as a joke last year and made her stand there like an idiot while everyone booed. And at the end of last year…" Charlie trailed off.

"I need to hear this," I whispered, my stomach absolutely sick.

"You arranged…accidentally for Rosalie Hale to be gang raped," Charlie whispered. "I _have_ to believe it was an accident, Izzy. But you still _did_ it. You left her alone with those boys."

I felt my eyes close with the finality of that statement.

It was _so much worse_ than I ever could have imagined.

"The school, the police got involved," Charlie said. "You kept saying you were done. I think what happened to Rosalie spooked you because it's been quiet over the summer and at the start of this year…I only barely got you out of serving a sentence, Iz."

Suddenly Edward and Alice's eyes made too much sense, and that's when I knew.

I would never earn their forgiveness.

"Thank you," I whispered, eyes watering rather uselessly. Everything else was out of my control, so did I have to _cry_ too? I'd lost all hope of reconciling myself with the people I loved most in the entire world save Charlie. I didn't need to shame myself in front of my father. He'd seen me indulge in selfishness enough. "Where did Rosalie go?"

"The McCarthys and Hales left town," Charlie said quietly.

The final blow. I'd actually _succeeded_ in tearing them apart.

"Do you think I drove them to it?" I asked, looking up to meet his eyes.

He looked absolutely torn. Regardless of what he truly believed about me, he'd been willing to forgive and forget it to have a relationship with his daughter, no matter how much of a monster she was. He'd treated me with nothing but kindness, and he had heard some of the worst things about me. Perhaps he achieved that by separating me from my actions. By looking him right in the eye and demanding judgment, however, I was depriving him of that option.

"Yes," he whispered.

I nodded my head slowly. _Alright, Bella. You've shaken things up, so make them settle down._ "Thank you. I'll try not to waste your insights. I know that was…hard."

"Look, Bells," he said, slipping back into my new nickname. "The last few years have been rough on you, but I want you to know that you are _not_ defined by your past mistakes."

I shouldn't be, especially since I didn't make them.

But I was. Irrevocably.

But I just nodded my head and got to my feet. I wouldn't be able to get down another bite. "I'll clean up, Dad," I said.

Charlie, after some hesitation, followed suit. He'd wisely deduced that I needed some alone time.

When he was gone, it was all I could do not to cry.

 _How am I supposed to fix_ this _?_

* * *

"Bella?"

I stared up at the ceiling, and the phone vibrated with another text. _Another text_. I'd stopped checking it because Jake was just sending a determined stream of threats I didn't have the heart to worry over. I'd thought I could spurn him without a backward glance, but this really _was_ Izzy's life, not mine. And she'd made some mistakes that would destroy any chances I had of a future.

Meaning I'd have to address the sex tape eventually. But my heart felt too sick to deal with anything so selfish any time soon.

"Honey, you have to come out," Charlie coaxed. "…I hope you know that I love you no matter what."

 _Charlie._

The Cullens were important, yes, but so was Charlie. And he probably blamed himself for this breakdown. "I know, Dad," I called, my voice cracking from disuse. I winced at how hallow the voice sounded, but he didn't call me on it.

"Just…tell me when you want to get dinner, alright?"

I sighed. A strategic move on his part. His stomach was now tied to mine, and he was right. I wouldn't make him starve on my account.

But the thought of leaving…

I stared at the room with new, haunted eyes. Faces of 'friends' hung over the room, gaping at me and mocking my grief with their carefree antics. They were beautiful, but they were hideous at their cores.

The _money_ , the gaudy lavishness of the room, was _disgusting._

"Dad?" I called, stumbling to my feet to throw the door open.

"Bells?" He looked relieved to see me.

"If I ask for your help with something, will you not call me crazy? And _not_ tell anyone else in town?"

Charlie regarded me with now weary eyes. "…Of course, Bella. Anything that you think will help."

I grabbed him and yanked him into my room. "I want to sell all this…this extra stuff," I whispered. "Or donate. Just get rid of all of it. The pictures will be tossed, of course, but the bed, the carpet, the _clothes_ and _jewelry_ and the furniture—all of it. I just want it gone."

Despite my warning, Charlie did indeed stare at me as if I were crazy. "… _Why_?"

Because it wasn't _necessary!_ I'd destroyed people, and I was walking around with Gucci and diamond earrings? Because it was a shrine to Izzy's egotism, glorifying a vicious, cruel, selfish girl. She didn't deserve _anything_.

I sucked in a calmly breath and said slowly, quietly, "It's just really important to me."

"…Well, what car do you want instead?" Charlie said, running a hand through his hair.

"Can you take me to a used car lot?" I asked. "Is that too much to ask for?"

" _Used car_?" Charlie gaped at me. "You're _serious_? Bells, you campaigned for that car for a _year_! And you're just going to sell it and get a used car instead?"

Ah. So the car was important to her. Smiling savagely at him, I felt my resolve cement itself. This would hurt her, or at least bother her. And that meant I _had_ to do it. "Please? It's step one towards feeling like a human being."

Charlie let out a sigh. "…You know what? Sure, kiddo. Want to go grab a burger or something and talk it out some more?"

The man's mind never _really_ left his food, did it? Fondness for him softened my smile, and I felt some of the ice in my core melt a bit.

My hand in the unhappiness of the Cullens was like a physical, crushing weight incomparable to my estrangement from Edward. But I couldn't do much about it sitting in my room feeling sorry for myself.

There was _some_ good I could do here. Starting with getting food in my father's stomach.

"Sure."

* * *

Charlie ran a hand through his hair nervously. "…It's not much, I know," Charlie allowed. "We can go to a…nicer car lot if you want. You know, Bells, if it's vintage you're after, I—"

"No, this is…this is fine," I muttered, drifting from his side towards what felt like a hallucination. "Do you…do you see that?"

"What?" Charlie said, a frown in his voice. "A really ugly truck?"

"It's _mine_ ," I said, shaking my head in amazement as I inspected it. It had a new paint job recently, but it was in about the same condition as if my favorite mechanic had just finished tinkering with it moments before.

It was my _truck_!

"…Are you _serious_?"

"Don't be a snob, Dad," I chided as I ran a hand along the fender. "It's absolutely _perfect_."

"Oh, come on, Bella," Charlie protested. "I can't trust your safety to an ancient thing like that!"

"It'll run like a tank," I promised. "Dad, this is _exactly_ what I was looking for."

I turned to offer Charlie a hopeful smile, but his lips were thinned into a line. "You said you didn't want me to talk to anyone around Forks about your plans. But they're going to notice if you show up to school in a monster like this."

"I don't care anymore," I said carelessly before insisting, "Dad, I _love_ this car!"

Charlie held my eyes for a long moment before sighing and shaking his head. "Fine. You win. _If_ the car can turn on."

"Oh, it will," I promised. He had no idea. Not even _Edward_ had been able to shut the tank down.

Or maybe he hadn't seen the point of it when as a nearly invincible protector, the car's function to protect me had been rendered moot.

But I wouldn't think about that. Nope. I had my truck, and nothing, not even a broken heart, was going to rain on my parade.


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N:** I think the rhythm of this is going to be one chapter a week. How's that sound, eh? Technically I have ten more chapters ready to post as of right now, but I'd hate for us to rush this process and get to the end of my pre-written chapters and my lovely readers realize just how long it _really_ takes me to write the next chapter.

Of course, the more reviews I get, the more encouraged and determined I feel, and the faster I write. And then the better I feel about posting a chapter sooner.

Really. Even if you've already posted a review and don't exactly feel the need to leave one for this chapter, it helps me a lot to get feedback. It helps a _ton_ with the creative process.

Hope those of you who have stuck around enjoy this chapter. It's starting to get good~

 **Warning:** Some situations occur where there _really_ should be cursing. I apologize in advance; I'm weak. Just couldn't quite be realistic.

 **Disclaimer:** Well, would you look at that? Nothing's changed between the posting of this chapter and last. Despite pouring in _months_ of blood, sweat, and tears into this story, I _still_ don't own hardly any of it. Dang. Most of the credit goes to Stephenie Meyer and Lady Moonglow. Oh, well. Being original is for chumps (of the brilliant kind, of course).

Chapter 4:

In the end, I missed almost an entire week of school before I forced myself out of my cage of a room. I'd thought that stripping it of the lavish luxury that Izzy had so lovingly decorated it with would make it easier, more bearable to live in. But in the end, nothing _truly_ distracted me from the pain of the ones I loved, the pain this body had caused. Admittedly getting my truck back alleviated _some_ of the it. I'd recovered my father, the good will of some of my teachers, and even my truck. It was almost like starting over.

But the dread that I would not recover what I cherished most was debilitating.

But I couldn't keep _sitting_ there, wasting precious time. Edward and Alice would be leaving in only a little less than two years. My time was numbered in only months before we'd say our goodbyes to Forks High, and I would never forgive myself if I didn't spend every moment trying to get back in their good graces.

They would probably never forgive me. But I very simply _could not_ live without them, not even as I remembered the happiness we shared before.

So on Friday morning, I dragged myself from the couch I'd dragged into my room as a makeshift bed. It reminded me of lazy Saturdays sprawled on the plush couches at the Cullens' wrapped up in Edward's arms. Of course I'd have to get a bed eventually, but sometimes it was nice to pretend.

For Charlie's sake I skipped the usual search for hobo attire and settled on something presentable and perhaps flattering. An acquaintance with Alice guaranteed I _knew_ I knew nothing about fashion, but sometimes you just had to do your best.

Charlie usually slept in until around eight or nine, so I just left him a note telling him that I'd "be going to the store after school, so don't freak out", thus announcing my return to the land of the living without all the fanfare.

As I walked out and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I nearly laughed. Presentable or not, I looked halfway dead. The bags under my eyes were painfully obvious, and my hair hung limp and sad about my pallid face.

"Oh well," I muttered as I struggled with the front door as usual. "I suppose Forks High will simply have to take me as I am."

* * *

I'd counted on Jake giving up on ambushing me before school, but he was upon me almost by the time I got out my car. I had to give him credit; he'd even managed to spot me in my new truck which nobody knew about. Or at least, nobody _should_ know about it.

His greeting was predictably cold. "Did you piss Charlie off like the rest of us?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, but I was lying. If Jake was a car snob here, he was sure to give me some crap.

"What _dump_ did he drag this piece of crap from?" Jake sneered, kicking the tire of my car. His lips twitched when I flinched.

"No offense, but it's really not any of your business," I said as I marched towards English. "I'm really not interested in ever speaking with you ever again. Just go away." Okay. So isolation hadn't done wonders for my tact. Or intelligence.

"If you get tired of acting like a freaking alien, you can always catch a ride with me," Jake said. "There will be certain _fees_ of course, but you're not exactly a stranger to selling your body."

"Gee, it's a wonder I don't talk to you more," I said, beginning to lose patience. Not that I'd ever had much with him. "You always phrase things so _prettily_."

"Look, Iz, I'm getting pretty _fed up_ with your act!" Jake said, grabbed my arm and jerking me around to face him. People walked on either side of us as if this were nothing.

And despite my frustration and disgust with him, something inside of me shuddered away from him. His words could never gain any more purchase with me, but his hands were an entirely different story. "Let go," I ordered in as calm a voice as I could muster.

My eyes must have given something away because he began to smile. "Let's go? Sure thing." He began to drag me back towards the parking lot.

"Jacob Black, let go of me _right now_!" I snarled, struggling to rip my arm away while attempting not to trip.

"You seem to have forgotten," he said as he dragged me along, "just how pleasant my company can be. It's funny; it's like you think you want to leave me. I think I'll fix that right now."

Fear knotted my stomach, and adrenaline strengthened my feet.

I kicked him as hard in the shin as I could.

At least, tried. My flailing kick missed the first time, but not my second.

Jake howled in pain, and I ripped my arm away finally and walked as fast as I could manage towards English (running was not an option). The bell had already rung, and the courtyard was nearly empty. It was becoming imperative that I get near witnesses.

Jake swore at me, and I could hear his pounding footsteps. Just as I made my decision to chance running, he yanked my hair hard and I stumbled back into his clawed hands.

"You feel that, princess?" He snarled in my ear. "When you get physical with me, _I_ get physical with _you_. Eye for an eye. Remember that next time you think you have the right to touch me like that. Now, I want you to carefully consider how _reasonable_ and _patient_ I've been with you thus far."

"Let _go_." To my horror, my voice was cracking with fear. _Idiot! Be strong! Just get the heck away from him!_

"No? _Still_ not going to be sensible, then?" Jake laughed low. "You have been _trying_ my patience, Izzy. I think I'm about to run out entirely."

"Let her go."

For a second I thought I was hallucinating his voice. He had no place in my life anymore, and surely he'd never say a word in my defense. I was simply imagining it in my desperation.

But Jacob seemed to have heard it too.

"Mind your own business," Jake snapped as he turned us to face the voice, and I felt relief come over me in a nearly smothering wave. It really _was_ Edward. His face was nearly unreadable, and he wasn't looking at me. But his face was still achingly familiar and comforting.

Unless Edward listened to Jake, I was safe.

"Assault is everyone's business," Edward said. "Now let her go, or I make you. I have had one heck of a morning, Black, and if you screw it up any more than it already is, I'm going to get _very_ angry." His face looked black with displeasure, and when his eyes landed on me, and I flinched away. He didn't seem to care.

And then I understood. He was saving me. But it had little to do with me ultimately.

In fact, it speaks well of his principles that he's even attempting this when he so desperately hates me.

"Are you _serious_?" Jake laughed, apparently shocked. "What is a little nerd like you going to do to me? Just get to class, Cullen. I'm in the middle of something."

He seemed appropriately distracted by Edward. I figured this was the best time.

I kicked back with as much force as I could possibly manage, and unlike last time, I didn't miss.

Jake cried out and shoved me away roughly, sending me sprawling hard on the gravel.

"You're effing crazy!" Jake screamed, latching onto my leg. "What the _crap_ is _wrong_ with you?"

"Mr. Black, please unhand Miss Swan," a stern voice commanded, and Jake froze. "Let her _go_."

"Oh, freaking _crap_ ," Jake muttered, and he finally let me go. A sob escaped my mouth, and I bit my fist to repress the pathetic sound as I stumbled to my feet. Edward's black glare was on my face, and I knew somehow that weeping now wouldn't endear me to him. I was nothing more than a bug to him at the moment. And I would deal with that eventually. Really, I would. I just needed to…to get my head back on straight first.

"Come to my office _now_ ," Principal Green commanded. "And Mr. Cullen, please take Miss Swan to the nurse."

Now _that_ sounded perfectly awful. "I'm fine," I said, struggling on shaking knees to walk towards where my backpack had fallen. I hadn't even noticed it was gone.

"No, you're not," Principal Green said flatly.

I clawed at my face and the pathetic tears, unable to look at anyone's face as I spoke. "No, Edward needs to get to class."

"Come on," Edward said quietly but firmly as he snatched the backpack from my hands and slinging it over his shoulder. His own wasn't there, I noticed.

When I just stood there struggling with my breathing like an anxious simpleton, he grabbed my wrist and forced me towards the nurse. I could have cried at how achingly wonderful it felt to touch him. But then, I was already crying. "I'm _so_ sorry to get you involved in this mess," I said, forcing the words out even though they were cracked and breathy _._ I could still hear his words to Jacob. _I have had one heck of a morning, Black, and if you screw it up any more than it already is, I'm going to get very angry._ "Really, I'm not about to collapse or anything, so—"

"A 'thank you' would suffice," Edward said coldly.

"Thank you," I whispered.

He didn't say another word, but his grip became gentler on my wrist. I figured it must have been pity.

I spent the remainder of the walk focusing on composing myself and steadying my breath. Whatever panic and fear I'd felt during the encounter I shoved down and locked away in a box. I didn't have time to cry or freak out. More than that, I didn't _want_ to with Edward there. He'd had enough of Izzy's histrionics, and I told myself that the bruise forming on my arm was from running into a counter. The dull, aching throb on my head was when I fell out of bed. And Edward and I were just on a stroll through the rain, taking a tour of Forks for no apparent reason…

It worked. My breathing finally slowed.

When we got to the office, Nurse Hammond jumped to her feet immediately when she saw my tearstained face. "Oh, dear. What happened?"

I opened my mouth to play it down, but Edward beat me to it. "Jacob Black attempted assault and gave her quite the scare is all," Edward said. "I think she may have hit her head when he pushed her."

"That doesn't sound like an 'attempt'!" Nurse Hammond exclaimed as she neared me.

"I'm fine," I said automatically. Hospitals I was _very_ familiar with, and I knew how to deal with nurses much better than crazy ex boyfriends.

"Oh, honey—"

"Really," I said, evading her probing hands that had gone towards my head. "I probably just have gravel in my hair and that's it."

"Really?" Edward said dryly. "Because it looks a _lot_ like blood to me."

Vertigo made my head swim, and I swayed dizzily as the scent I'd been able to ignore before filled my nostrils. _Blood_.

Apparently Izzy gets sick at the sight (or smell) of blood too.

"Bella?" Familiar hands steadied me and forced me into a chair. I could have cried at how much he sounded like _my_ Edward.

"Sorry," I said as my ears rang, cheeks flushing now in humiliation. I'd been holding it together so well only to get faint over some blood! "I'm sorry, I just… _blood_."

"Oh, dear," Nurse Hammond said as she grabbed some bandages and paper towels. "Let's clean you up, alright? Edward, you can go back to class."

"Is she alright?" Edward asked, completely ignoring the command.

"She'll be fine," Nurse Hammond assured him while I clutched at my spinning head.

Edward considered this for a moment before snorted. "Her psychotic ex boyfriend nearly breaks her head open, and it's the thought of _blood_ that she faints!"

"Ha, ha," I said weakly.

"That's _hardly_ appropriate!" Nurse Hammond said, flustered by the rude tone of his voice.

"…Never mind," Edward said with a sigh. "Do you need me to make any calls for you, Mrs. Hammond?" His voice was considerably more civil sounding, I noticed. I bit back a smile, recognizing that he was now turning on his charm.

"I expect Principal Greene is seeing to all phone calls," Nurse Hammond said. "Now you can return to class."

"Of course," Edward said, and without another glance at me, he left the office, taking all the warmth with him.

"Stars above," Nurse Hammond murmured. "And here I thought that boy hated you. Last person _I'd_ expect to walk you here."

"He still does," I offered weakly, appreciating her candor. If the disasters of the last few years had reached the nurse, it meant Izzy's efforts were widely known. I'd seen hints of that with Mr. Banner, but it still helped to know. "Edward's just a good person."

"You can learn a great deal about people when you observe the way they act when they come here. And I can assure you, last year, Edward Cullen would have rather left you to die," Nurse Hammond said before pausing. "Not that you would have deserved it!"

"No, I understand what you're saying," I said with what I hoped was a smile. I rather doubted she knew anything.

Edward, as I knew him, would have saved _anyone_. Even in his bloodthirsty newborn days, he'd chosen to spare the innocent and feed only on the wicked. I doubted I counted as innocent to his mind, but I must have been innocent enough for him to think it worth stepping in.

He hadn't exactly been kind about it. But Nurse Hammond was right. The fact that Edward intervened spoke a great deal.

He still hated me, though.

* * *

"Bella?"

A powerful wave of nostalgia washed over me. How many times had I heard him say my name in that panicked tone? Thank heavens for tender mercies. If I couldn't have Edward, at least I had my dad.

"I'm fine, Dad," I said from where I perched in a seat in front of Principal Greene. Two policemen were in the room as well along with the disconcerting form of Billy Black. I said disconcerting because he was very different from the Billy I knew, strong and wise but crippled.

Strong certainly described him now, but definitely not crippled. He radiated power and grace as he stood near Greene, muscles flexed as his arms bent across his chest, lips turned down in a frown. He exuded youthful vitality even as the skin around his eyes formed crows feet.

Whether he still possessed wisdom remained to be seen.

"What the _heck_ has happened to my daughter?" Charlie demanded as he stepped into the room, and I felt my eyes flutter shut. Great. He was angry.

"Please sit down, Mr. Swan," Principal Greene said, gesturing to the seat next to me. "You have every right to be upset, but we need to be calm for discussion's sake."

" _Discussion_?" Charlie demanded, voice raising in pitch as he grabbed my bruised arm. He swore, and I sighed, wanting to be anywhere but here. "Billy, you better have a _darn_ good explanation for this!"

"There's nothing to explain," Billy said through tight lips. "My son was _entirely_ out of line."

" _Out of line_?" Charlie looked as if he were about to explode, and I put my hand on his arm.

"Dad, please," I said. "I'm fine right now. Just a bit bruised. I just want this to be over." The clock on the wall read ten. Maybe if we hurried up, I could get to class before lunch started and start dealing with my peers and restart my life again.

Charlie looked like he was about to start yelling again, but I held him with my eyes. His mouth snapped shut, and he sighed, sinking down next to me. "Please proceed," Charlie said, voice tight.

"As we speak, Jacob Black is in custody of the police department," Professor Greene. "As I am made to understand things, if Miss Swan chooses to press charges, he could get as many as six months to a year in a juvenile retention center. As for how this school will react, I consider him a danger to my students, especially to Miss Swan. I am _very_ close to expelling him."

"That will not be necessary," Billy interjected. "I'll remove him from the school of his own will."

"See to it that you do," Principal Greene said coldly. "I only withhold expulsion out of respect for you and all you do for this town. I hope you are able to do as much to improve your son."

"Thank you," Billy said. I noticed that he didn't assure him of much.

"Now, obviously, Jacob Black has acted out a pattern of aggression towards Miss Swan," Greene said. "So I must ask, Miss Swan, if Jacob Black has done anything else that must be brought to our attention."

I'm sure Izzy could have made a long list. I'm also certain that she would tearfully beg on his behalf at this point. I wouldn't. "There's a sex tape," I said, color blossoming across my cheeks as I became painfully aware of my father next to me. "He's been threatening to distribute it if I don't get back together with him."

Thankfully, Principal Greene only nodded, as did Billy. "I'll take care of it," Billy promised.

"If it gets out," Charlie began warningly, but Billy held up a hand to interrupt.

"Charlie, you know how much I value your friendship and Iz—Bella. Believe me when I say I will do _everything_ in my power to protect her now," Billy said. "I hope in time you can forgive me for letting it get this out of hand."

I watched Charlie's eyes soften. "I'm sure that's not too far away," Charlie assured him.

"Is there anything else?" Greene asked me, eyes probing. Immediately all attention shifted back to me. It was…unnerving.

"No," I whispered. The beginnings of guilt began to gnaw at me. It all just seemed…like a bit of an overreaction. I found it hard to imagine that two boys fighting would elicit such a violent reaction from the school or parents involved. Part of me wanted to say all he did was squeeze my arm and shove me because I kicked him. Of course, he'd been threatening to do much worse, and who knows what he would have done had nobody stepped in.

And that's ultimately why I didn't say anything, and why everyone was taking this so seriously. It's because he really _would_ have. There's no kindness between him and Izzy, and every person in this room knew it.

If they were going to lock him up, then I would let them. No, I'd help them. The thought of him out there, free to continue harassing me as he had before, terrified me. And, just this once, I was going to be a coward and do something about it.

"I mean…" I fidgeted. "He's been threatening me, of course. Some of it's pretty graphic. One time he stopped me in a hallway full of people and wouldn't let go of my arm, sort of like what he did today. And of course everything he says to me is positively vile."

"If you press charges, if you could submit your phone for evidence, it would greatly help your case," one of the police officers said.

"I want to press charges," I said. I dug my phone out of my backpack. "Here. Take it."

"Why don't you go home, Bells?" Charlie said, wrapping an arm around me carefully, as if I would break. Which is almost insulting. Hadn't I been acting _extremely_ well put together? I'd stopped crying entirely over an hour ago. You'd think I'd get more credit. "Get some rest. I'll handle the police."

"I'd really rather go to class," I said. "I've missed a lot of school."

"Miss Swan—"

I cut Principal Green off. "Really. I'd really rather get into the routine of things." My words were directed towards the principal, but my eyes remained on Charlie, begging him to understand.

Like with Billy, something within Charlie's eyes softened, and he exhaled long and slow. "Alright, kid. If Principal Green is alright with that, then I don't see why not. But if you get tired or…or overwhelmed, I want you to come straight home."

"I'll be fine, but sure," I said, and I turned to Principal Green for confirmation.

He sighed. "You are a very different girl than you were a month ago, Miss Swan. Yes, of course you may return to classes. I cannot guarantee your peers will be tactful or mindful of your delicate state, however." I felt my eye twitch. Just how _delicate_ did I look at the moment? Again, I thought I was putting up a fairly strong front!

"Thank you," I said, getting to my feet as I grabbed my backpack.

"We'll need to take a statement among other things," one policeman said.

"She can stop by later," Charlie interrupted. "You already have Edward and Alice's. Isn't that enough for now?"

"Yes, of course," the policeman acquiesced.

"Alice?" I repeated, surprised.

"Yes," Principal Greene said, and I turned my eyes towards him. "She was the one that came to fetch me while Edward kept Jacob busy."

 _That_ was an interesting development.

"I…see," I said, trying to wrap my head around it. Two people who legitimately hate me came to my rescue. "Right. Thank you all again." Avoiding Billy's eyes, I made my exit.

 _If I hurry, I can get the last fifteen minutes of the history lecture…_

* * *

Nobody had talked to me so much since my first day here when everyone was expecting Izzy. Today, nobody much minded that I was reticent and _not_ wearing makeup (the _bane_ of my existence here at Forks). In fact, it gave them more room to talk my ear off.

They touched the bruise on my arm and offered condolences and asked me a million times if I was okay, and over identified with my supposed fear ("You must have been _so scared!_ "). I mean, yes, I'd been scared. But nobody had seemed to much care about me all the other times Jake attacked me verbally or physically, so I wasn't quite sure what to do with the curiously timed comments.

When I sat next to Edward, Mike was no different.

"Wow! He sure gave _you_ a bruise," Mike whistled, poking the bruise. It hurt, but at least it didn't seem like he'd done it on purpose.

"Yes, he did," I said, tapping my fingers on the desk impatiently.

"It looks like it hurt."

"Yes, it did," I said.

"A lot," Mike offered.

"Yup."

"Not very talkative about it," Mike observed somewhat critically.

I gritted my teeth. "I don't know. Apparently I'm extremely delicate and a little flower suffering from PTSD. Why don't you talk to the person that _saved_ me? Maybe he's less traumatized." Edward didn't even acknowledge us, but I still somehow hoped that Mike would follow my hint and leave me alone.

No dice. "Weren't you the one that kicked Jake and got away?" Mike pressed.

That…was a good point. "Alice got Principal Greene. If she hadn't, then I don't know what Jake would have done," I said. "And Edward distracted him and gave me the courage to do _anything_."

"So the nerd just _talked_ to him," Mike snorted and laughed. "How _predictable._ "

"One, he didn't have to _do_ anything in the first place. He could have been like the rest of the student population and just _walked away_ ," I said, trying to sound calm even if my words belied the attempt. "Two, he didn't _need_ to do anything else. Greene came before things escalated anymore."

"Well, _anyways_ ," Mike said after coughing, "I just _wanted_ to say I hope your bruises heal or whatever."

"Thanks," I said, too disgusted with Mike in general to even care.

Mr. Banner began talking then, and Mike finally shut up. When inevitably we had to start working together on the lab, thankfully he remained distracted from me.

"I would apologize for talking about you like you weren't there," I said, "but you had every opportunity to insert yourself into the conversation."

"Yes, I noticed that you tried to pass Newton onto me," Edward said coldly. "A wonderful way to say thank you."

I winced, and I let Edward take over setting up the lab. I'd pointedly been helping, but I doubted he minded the lack of help from me much.

He was right. And I was trying to get into his good graces. It would do me no good to take out my frustration on him.

"Thank you," I said meekly, grabbing the lab instructions. I still vaguely remembered this lab, and after a moment I recalled everything. And when he didn't respond to the expression of gratitude, I forced myself to focus. He might not accept it verbally, but I could at least make this lab, this class, easier for him.

* * *

"I had Charlie call your mom," I said with a weak smile. "She said you like chocolate chip cookies." I slid the Saran wrapped plate across the table, and Alice regarded it in shock.

"You baked me _cookies_?" Alice said in disbelief.

"They're edible, I promise," I said, stalling the question.

"Who bakes people _cookies_?" Alice wondered as she poked at a cookie through the clear wrapping. The soft cookie gave under her touch, and something in her eye flashed. Hunger.

I stared at my hands, not quite able to meet her eyes as I spoke these next words. "After everything I've done to you, it would have been more than just and fair to leave me. It…means a _great_ deal to me that you instead chose to help."

"I didn't do it for you," Alice said coldly, although she did grab the plate of cookies and tuck it away. "Man, I'm going to get fat. Why did you bake _so many_?"

"Sorry," I said. "You can throw them away. I just wanted to say thank you."

"Yeah, you did that," Alice said, and then she looked back down at her homework, a clear dismissal.

I bit my lip, warring within myself. Finally, I said, "Why… _did_ you do it?" The words were spoken softly, almost afraid of the answer.

"I did it for Rose," Alice said firmly, eyes still on her homework. "I did it because I'm not like you, and I would _never_ stand by and watch somebody be hurt like that."

I exhaled slowly, considering her words. Aside from the cutting insult to me, they were very good news indeed. "You're a wonderful person. I'm very glad that I wasn't able to change that. Thank you."

Alice looked up at me, eyebrows drawn together in confusion and anger, but I turned away, deciding to leave her in peace.

The fact that Edward and Alice didn't loath me enough to leave me to Jacob Black was good news and information indeed.

But unless I intended on almost being assaulted or raped habitually, it would do me little good.


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Hey, so, you know where I said once a week? ...Ha. Yup. I'm _so_ consistent. Speaking of consistency, there's a real treat in this chapter that I _never repeat again_. Yup. Today, I've given you the gift of a scene from Edward's POV. And it's totally an anomaly (I know, I'm such a _great_ writer). Please, though, by all means enjoy the fruits of my laziness and inconsistencies as a writer.

 **Warning:** Inconsistencies and _super awkward_ scenes ahead... Ha. Kidding. That's a stupid thing to warn you guys about. I mean, there _are_ inconsistencies and awkward scenes ahead, but I don't necessarily feel the need to _warn_ you all about it. But...here we are.

 **Disclaimer:** Nothing is mine. _Absolutely nothing_. There is _nothing_ original except circumstances that propagate misery.

Chapter 5:

"You must be Bella, then?"

I looked up, and I felt a wave of déjà vu. Standing before me was one of the best looking doctors I'd ever seen. Vampire or human, Carlisle Cullen _still_ drew stares and giggles wherever he passed.

It's nice to know little things like that hadn't changed.

Although my relationship to him had changed drastically. Here was a man whose son and friends had been tormented mercilessly by me. Charlie hadn't mentioned what I'd done specifically to Edward, but Edward hated me more than anyone else. And if Edward was on as good terms with his father now as he was before, Carlisle would have every right to hate me as well.

"Uh, y-yes," I stuttered. It was like meeting the parents all over again. Except instead of having Edward at my side tenderly assuring me that anyone he loved would do, I'm the ex town bully.

I wanted to drop through the floor.

Perplexingly enough, a genuine smile spread over his lips. "Come on in, then."

He lead the way down a pristine white hall, and I stumbled after him. I hadn't counted on _Carlisle_ being the doctor on duty! In fact, I hadn't actually intended to see anyone at all. Charlie dropped me off rather pointedly at the door, and he said he'd be back in an hour after running errands. After someone looked at my wrist, he'd take me to dinner.

What he didn't understand was that my wrist was _fine!_ Hardly even sprained! If I just left it alone, it would heal fine.

Carlisle veered into an examination room. "Normally a nurse would see to you, but we're a bit short on them today," he said offhandedly with a bright smile at me.

 _Does he know who I_ am _?_ "Right," I said.

"Alright. What seems to be the problem?" He asked, gesturing to the examination table. I restrained a grimace as I sat down. _Hate hospitals._

"I just fell on my wrist. It's completely fine," I stated.

He quirked a brow at me. "Of course," he said. "That's why you're here to see me, then?"

"Well, Char—I mean, my dad thought it was a big deal," I said, struggling to get the right words out. All I could think about was what Carlisle must think of me. "Sorry. This is kind of a waste of your time."

"May I look at it?" He said, extending a tanned hand.

"Sure," I said, offering the injured right wrist.

He took it and examined it with a soft touch that was both familiar and alien. It's amazing how much difference temperature makes.

"Does that hurt?" He asked, bending the wrist one way.

"Yes," I admitted before pressing my case. "Just a small sprain, right?"

He chuckled. "You're not a very good patient, are you?"

I considered this, and shrugged helplessly. "I don't want to waste your time. If you're short on staff, then you should probably see people with more serious needs than mine."

"In Forks, a sprain is about the worst you ever see," Carlisle said as he crossed to his computer. "A blessing of living in a small town."

"Just about," I agreed in a strained voice. _It_ would _be if I hadn't lived here._

He eyed me for a second before turning back to the computer and typing. "Well, Bella, you seem to have diagnosed yourself correctly. I'm glad you _did_ come in, though, because it looks like your prescription of birth control has run out. I'll just fill it out for you, then?"

I gaped at him in horror. First Charlie hears about my sex tape, and Carlisle knows I'm sexually active? "No, that's fine," I said, voice high and pinched.

Carlisle glanced at me, surprised. "Are you getting birth control from another source, then?"

Blood blossomed across my cheeks. _Never going to another hospital again._ "No, that's not it." _Oh, come on. Why did my future father in law have to be a doctor?_ "I don't need birth control. I'm not sexually active anymore."

Carlisle appraised me carefully and, just as it dawned on me that birth control could also be used to regulate my period and I might have just admitted my sex life for _no reason,_ nodded his head and smiled. "Of course. A commendable decision."

 _Time to end this awkward conversation._ "Thank you for your time," I said, jumping to my feet. Carlisle, after clicking a few things on the monitor, got to his feet as well and allowed me to exit first. Before I did so, I paused. "I just…wanted to tell you how grateful I am that Edward stepped in and helped me a few days ago. I'm sure it's a great credit to you that he even bothered considering…" I let those words hang in the air.

Carlisle appraised me carefully for a moment before his smile widened. "Thank you. But if you don't mind me saying so…something seems very different about you, Bella."

"If you say so," I said hastily as I began backing away. Trust Carlisle to see through me when nobody else was! He was the only person not blinded by either hatred (felt by the vast majority of Forks towards me) or love (mainly Charlie) for Izzy. And unless I wanted to see a very _different_ kind of doctor, I'd best be on my way.

"I meant what I said before, Bella," Carlisle said suddenly. "People heal. I hope this change in you means you're deciding to recognize that and forgive yourself."

I knew then that he must have been talking about Rosalie, and I wanted to cry. One of the best friends of his son had been raped because of Izzy's foolishness, and he'd counseled with her and encouraged her to shed guilt and improve. "I don't think your son would approve of what you just said," I said, a bit warily.

At this, I read an ancient sadness in his eyes. "He is young. He cannot know what a burden hatred is."

That was mildly distressing to think about. Edward was _too good_ to be weighed down by a grudge like this. The Edward I'd known had suffered for years in the clutches of his own guilt, and to have him here free of that only to sign up for another burden… "When he _does_ understand, he'll let it go," I said, stubbornness creeping unchecked into my voice. "He has to."

Carlisle quirked a brow. "But we weren't talking about Edward."

Right. Me. "I'm doing the best I can to…clean up this mess," I said vaguely. "You're right. Thank you for not…hating me."

"Thank you for gratifying my hope and changing, Bella," Carlisle said with a smile. "I hoped, but I didn't truly expect…well, I didn't expect you to change so _soon_. But it truly is wonderful. Please, come find me any time you need someone to talk to. I'm all ears, and I've already seen and heard anything you can tell me before."

I chewed over his words carefully before nodding slowly despite the fact that I very much doubted he'd come across time traveling through alternate dimensions. I'd never take him up on it, but it meant something all the same. "Thank you," I said slowly.

"That said, I hope I don't see you _here_ again," Carlisle said with a teasing smile. "Go on, get out of here. I'm sure you have better things to do than visit your doctor."

"Thanks again, Mr. Cullen," I said as I backed away.

"Any time."

* * *

"So," Charlie said as he passed me a roll pointedly. Rolling my eyes, I tore it and began to butter it. Somehow he'd gotten it in his head that I was anorexic. Which Izzy probably was (which would explain Jake's greeting the first time I woke up in this nightmare; of _course_ he'd comment on her stomach when it was a sore spot for her). "You delivered the cookies to Alice?"

"Yeah," I said, trying not to tense at the turn this conversation took.

Charlie was quiet, but his eyes were burning with curiosity. If I hadn't felt so uncomfortable at the idea of relaying Alice's hatred of me, I would have laughed. Finally he said, "…How did it go?"

"She didn't throw them in the trash immediately, so, that's good," I said, trying not to let my helplessness leak through.

"So, confession time," Charlie said, setting his roll down before smoothing the table cloth. "…I ate one of the cookies."

"Dad, I told you that you could," I said, resisting the urge to roll my eyes as I grinned.

"…Okay, so, I actually ate three or four." Charlie held up his hands in surrender though I wasn't doing much more than looking neutrally at him. "They were _really good_ , Bells. Man, when did you learn to cook?"

"It's just following a recipe," I said vaguely before clearing my throat. "Was that a hint to make more for you?"

Charlie smiled guiltily. "Would you?"

"Of course," I said. After all he was doing to help with Jake and _not_ think I'm crazy, it's the least I can do. "I'll buy the ingredients tomorrow after school."

"You'll make a fat man out of me yet," Charlie said with an affectionate smile before pausing. "…Okay, _real_ confession time. I did more than eat some cookies."

For the first time, dread curdled my stomach, just in time for our food (steak) to arrive. "Dad? What did you do?"

Charlie shifted uncomfortably. "I…think we have a dinner date with the Brandons."

"But surely I'm not invited!" I exclaimed.

"…That's kind of the point," he admitted. "At least, Sharon asked specifically if you'd come."

"Aren't they aware that their daughter _loathes_ me?" I burst out before I remembered that maybe Charlie wouldn't want to know just how unpopular his daughter was as of late. "I just…I don't think Alice would want to eat dinner with me. I find it odd that her mother would volunteer to put her through that."

"But how do _you_ feel about it?" Charlie asked quickly.

"Did you already agree?" I asked wearily.

Charlie sighed, setting his fork and knife aside. "I'm sorry, Bells. I don't know what I was thinking," he said forlornly.

Crap. Sad parent. "No, it's fine," I said quickly. "I love dinner parties. I just feel bad about Alice is all, but it's not like I'll abandon you to the wolves." Okay, so the first part was a _total_ lie. The only family I'd been interested in having a "dinner party" with couldn't eat anything but me, and most social functions were torture. But Charlie didn't necessarily connect the word introvert with Izzy.

"You won't?" He said, looking relieved.

"Of course not," I said. "It's…good for me to talk to the people who I hurt if they'll let me."

"When did you get so mature and responsible?" Charlie wondered as he picked up his knife and fork.

"Seems like it just kind of happened overnight, huh?" I said absently as I cut into my own steak.

"Not that I'm complaining," Charlie said thoughtfully. "You know I love you no matter what, kid, right?"

At those affectionate words that I knew the Charlie I'd grown up with could never have uttered with half as much ease, warmth blossomed in my chest. "Yeah," I said quietly. "I do."

* * *

I made a mental note to myself to never tell Charlie again when I halfway injured myself.

"So, Jake took another stab at you, eh?" Mike said, jabbing my back to get my attention when I didn't respond.

I considered ignoring him, but then he jabbed me again. "No, he didn't. I just fell on my hand, and my dad overreacted. That's it."

"Uh huh," Mike said knowingly.

I took the bait, twisting in my seat to regard him warily. "What does that tone mean?"

"Well, you _always_ protect him," Mike said. "Jake would get in huge trouble if he came near you now. So you're lying."

I rolled my eyes. I'd heard similar theories all day. I think the population of Forks was just so used to drama between me and Jake that it was wringing every last bit out of me even when there was nothing left to find. I honestly hadn't seen or heard from Jake since that awful morning.

Nevertheless, it was interesting the way he phrased it. _"You_ always _protect him."_ Not _"Abused girls always protect their boyfriends."_

Perhaps I'd been right when I'd predicted that Izzy wouldn't have turned Jake in. "What do you mean I 'always protect him'?"

"C'mon, Iz. You show up with a new bruise like every other day," Mike said.

Or maybe Izzy was just as clumsy as I am. "That's because I keep falling down," I said.

"Uh huh," Mike said with a patronizing smile that burned my eyes.

"Why would I protect someone who _hurts_ me?" I demanded, finally losing my temper.

"I don't know. He says he's sorry?" Mike said. The justification was so lazy and _obviously_ influenced by the pop culture representation of abuse that I almost laughed.

"Yeah, well, he's always _lying,_ " I said.

"Well, yeah, you say that now because you're mad," Mike began, but I cut him off.

"Look, I'm _not_ caught in a cycle of abuse with Jake. Right now, I'm just trying to get him into jail and out of my life, and then I'm moving on. He hasn't contacted me since last Friday, and I really did just slip on my towel. My wrist is _totally_ fine, and there's _nothing_ interesting about me or my life!" The last part came out by accident, and I felt my face flush as I turned quickly away from Mike. Whoops. Way to sound insecure.

Mike groaned. "Can't you just go back to—"

"No!" I snapped, cutting him off, eye twitching. Before Mike could talk to me again, thankfully Mr. Varner started the class.

I'd learned over the past few weeks here that I didn't have to do much more than tune in every now and then. Occasionally when I became too distracted (mostly by Edward) I'd have to brush up outside of class.

Today I didn't have him as an excuse. He hadn't shown up at all. I tried to convince myself that this was probably a good thing; if he'd heard the inane dialogue between me and Mike, he probably would _never_ respect me ever again.

… _Because obviously it's possible to respect somebody who gets one of your best friends raped and not because she's within two feet of a talkative moron._ I withered into my desk, and groaned softly.

The pathetic truth of the matter is that I was wondering how I was going to last the next twenty four hours until I saw him again. Even though he wasn't _my_ Edward and even though he can hardly stand it when I open my mouth… Somehow, even a shadow of what I had in the past is better than nothing.

It's pathetic, but I would rather have him here and loath me than not be here at all.

 _I wonder how long I can survive like this. It only gets_ worse _. It's like dripping water in the mouth of someone dying of thirst. It keeps me alive for now, but…_

It wasn't just morbid; it was frightening.

I'd never had to consider much how I'd be able to live without Edward. Now it was a very real possibility.

"Hey, Swan, want to be partners with me? I may be crap at textbook biology, but I bet even _I_ could teach you something about yours Jake hasn't," Mike said, kicking my chair to get my attention.

 _That's disgusting._ "Please stop talking to me," I said without turning around as Mr. Banner handed me a sheet of paper. We had our first test (judgment day) next week, and I could only assume this was a review of some sort. A quick scan of the paper revealed it to be a project.

"Get in pairs of two," Mr. Varner said. "You don't necessarily have to be with your seat partner."

I hid a bitter smile in my sleeve. If only Edward were here to take advantage of such an offer. I would not be so generous.

Not that there were many takers if I _had_ been so inclined to grab a partner who wasn't Edward. Angela cast me a frigid smile before turning pointedly to the boy next to her, and I felt a shiver run the length of my spine. _She's terrifying,_ I thought not for the first time. _Quite possibly insane._

Though Mike reiterated his offer, I ignored him, and he gave up the pretense. I don't think Mike and I could stand each other long enough to do a project.

After a few moments of student chatter, Mr. Banner interrupted to announce that our window of opportunity was over and that we needed to sign up as partners.

Though I fully intended to only work with Edward, I didn't sign his name next to mine. Edward would probably end up working alone. It would double the rather impressive workload, but I'm sure Edward wouldn't mind that weighed against working with me.

It would suck for me because the first time around when Mr. Banner gave this project to me and _my_ Edward, Edward ended up doing the vast majority of the work. I'm not quite sure what the point of the project was, but I supposed I'd have to figure it out.

"Spend the next thirty minutes working on the project. These are due Monday next week." Groans resounded around the classroom, and Mr. Varner rolled his eyes. _He's in a good mood today._ "Your test is Tuesday, so you should be _thanking_ me. Maybe you'll actually look at the material before I hand it to you for a grade…" With that he turned and walked back to his desk muttering.

I pulled out the textbook and leafed through it listlessly, thinking more about why Edward would miss class (he can't _still_ be allergic to sunlight) than the vague project guidelines.

"Bella? Can you come up to my desk for a moment?"

 _Anything is better than thinking about him._

I stumbled to my feet and made my way towards him, only partly curious.

"I noticed you don't have a partner," Mr. Varner said, jabbing a finger at the clipboard that he'd apparently retrieved where we were supposed to sign up as pairs.

"There's an odd number of people here today," I said.

"Not true," Mr. Varner said. "There's actually twenty seven people in this class with everyone here."

 _Which means there's an even number of people here today without Edward. Which means I have no excuse._ Somehow I hadn't considered that I might have to work with someone who _wasn't_ Edward, especially after pointedly refusing several people.

"But you probably want to be partners with Edward, right?" Mr. Varner said, quirking a brow.

"I mean…" My cheeks were getting red, and I desperately hoped that somehow he mistook love for cruel obsession just this once. "Yes?"

"Bella, the test is next Tuesday," Mr. Varner said, his voice low and patronizing. "And you won't be able to rely on Edward then."

 _Oh_. _He thinks I'm dependent on his_ brain _._ With a burst of irritation, I realized that Mr. Varner must have attributed my improved performance on labs and homework to working with Edward. Which was the entire point, but it still tasted slightly off in my mouth. "I just like working with Edward," I said through numb lips.

"Uh huh," Mr. Varner said. "I'm sure. Well, the good news is that Carlos joined a group of two and formed a threesome, so you're off the hook. I'm putting you with Edward. But I do this with the understanding that you'll do your fair share of the work."

I tried to remind myself that he thought he was dealing with Izzy, not Bella.

It still set my teeth on edge.

After I promised to do my part, I made my way back to my desk. Despite Mr. Varner's complete lack of faith in me, the project itself was actually exciting.

Maybe, even though I sincerely doubt it, he'll talk to me outside of class.

… _I'm reaching new levels of pathetic._

* * *

"I must miss him more than I thought," I murmured, furrowing my brows as I attempted to accept my lapse in sanity.

Perhaps I just _really_ didn't want to think about the inevitable fitness tests awaiting me at the end of this walkway towards the gym, but that looked a _lot_ like Edward's familiar silver Volvo. Even more significant than the comforting sight of one of our many safe havens that we'd shared was the boy reclined inside of it. As I neared, the hallucination grew more detailed when I made out ear buds in his ears. Oddly enough, the window was rolled down.

He looked…asleep.

Putting gym class on the backburner, I strolled near his car with no hesitation, curiously wondering if my hallucination would at least open his eyes. Maybe he'd _smile_ at me.

 _He's entirely too good-looking for me, even as a human,_ I thought, and I found a fond smile tugging at my lips even as my heart spasmed painfully. It didn't matter what he looked like. It's just that…well, if we still didn't fit across universes, I guess it somehow feels odd that we're not together anyway. It doesn't make any more sense this time around than it had before, so it can't be that he's too attractive for me that we're not together.

It's just another painful reminder that he was _my_ Edward still.

"Edward?" I said softly to get his attention, urging the beautiful dream to awaken. I was still holding out for a smile.

But he couldn't hear me, apparently.

Well. _That_ was all too reminiscent of my nightmares of him. So far, my subconscious wasn't surprising me too terribly.

 _But would I_ really _be so lucky to hallucinate him? Even schizophrenics rarely even hear voices, much less see the face of a loved one. And besides…why is he a human?_

Edward's long lashes fluttered on his cheeks, and I noticed a tension. Before I could consider backing away before I disturbed the beautiful hallucination, he opened his eyes. For an instant he was disoriented until his eyes landed on me.

Abruptly his eyes widened and he tore the earphones from his ears, sitting ramrod straight as he stared at me in such obvious panic that I wondered if my insanity was written on my face.

 _Why would my hallucination fear the insanity that produced it?_

But there were more pressing questions: like why Edward had reacted so _violently_ to my presence.

"What do you _want_?" Edward snapped, recovering from the initial panic now as his lips dropped into a scowl.

I paused, disappointed. It seemed I wouldn't be getting a smile after all. _Pathetic. I'm utterly repulsive, even to myself._ "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

He rolled his eyes and got out of his car, apparently not content for me to stare down at him for long. "Are you going to rat me out?"

I was lost. "Um…"

"I'll have you know it would be terribly hypocritical of you," Edward said, folding his arms.

"I'm not sure what you mean," I confessed, adjusting the straps on my backpack.

"…Skipping?" Edward supplied as if he thought I was quite stupid.

"What? That's…" It occurred to me then what a moron I was. _Hallucinating?_ Who would jump to the conclusion first thing that they _hallucinated_ their ex-boyfriend before thinking he was just skipping class? Never mind that my subconscious probably would have resulted in a hallucinated vampire Edward trying to kill me, but I also had a _complete_ lack of a history of mental instability. "Oh. That seems fairly obvious now."

"What did you _think_ I was doing?" Edward asked, rolling his eyes. The gesture was so familiar to me that I smiled in spite of myself.

"I honestly thought I was imagining you," I said, the words tumbling out before I could stop myself. _Curses._ I was too comfortable around him.

At that, Edward's wandering eyes snapped to me, scoffing after a pause in surprise. "…You're not serious."

Hoping to distract him, I asked, "Why would you stay here if you were skipping? And…why did you skip?"

He regarded me for a long moment before sighing, turning his face up into he light drizzle. "It's healthy to skip every now and then."

 _Of course it's healthy to skip the_ one _class that we have together._ I didn't miss that he didn't say why he wasn't long gone from school grounds.

"What song were you listening to?" I asked curiously, shifting my hefty backpack absently.

"If I answer, will you go to class and leave me alone?" Edward said with a tired sigh.

"Is that why you answered my last question?" I said, biting back a smile. "Because you thought it would make me leave?"

"Do you ever just _answer_ a question?" Edward snapped.

"Yes," I said with a sigh. "And yes, I'll leave you alone if you answer."

"Promise?" He said as he handed me his phone for me to get a good look.

For a second, I couldn't breathe as I stared down at the album cover. "Wow," I whispered, and my voice cracked embarrassingly. Clearing my throat, I nervously readjusted my backpack. "That's funny."

"What?" He said, the picture of boredom as he tucked his phone away.

"That's one of my step dad's favorite bands," I said. "He got me that CD for Christmas." Seeing as he wasn't privy to a similar discovery I'd made with his counterpart and therefore _didn't care_ , he didn't answer rather pointedly, and I got the hint. "Alright. Sorry to bother your…skipping." The tardy bell rang, and I found I didn't much care. Somehow I knew without a doubt that once I entered the gym, I wouldn't leave it without at least one new bruise. _Fitness testing._

I was several feet away when I remembered the project and turned on my heel. "Wait, Edward!"

 **Brief Interlude into Edward's Perspective:**

"What?" The word burned my lips, and I wanted nothing more than to climb into my car and drive away. _The things I do for that blasted pixie._

My frustration wasn't lost on her, and instead of fluttering her eyelashes at me in a disgusting display intended to infuriate me or perhaps a snide laugh and cutting dig towards my mother or friends, she set her jaw like a martyr. Not for the first time, I was struck by how foreign she seemed lately. Like an entirely different person.

"We're partners for a project in biology." She dropped her backpack on the wet concrete, and I watched water splash back. She was apparently unconcerned. _Figures that even when she chooses a more sensible backpack, it would be waterproof._ Only the best for Isabella Swan.

As she rummaged through her pack, she mumbled, "If you came to class today, you could have gotten out of being partners with me."

For a moment I was enraged. _Figures_ that she would lord it over me, using even my contempt for her as a weapon against me.

And then I noticed the bitter twist of her lips, and then a curtain of brown hair hid her face from my eyes.

My anger faltered, and I had to look away from her. I tried to banish the image from my mind. I didn't mind her reaction so much as the...the vulnerability in her expression.

Of course, I'd seen looks similar to that on her face what felt like a thousand times. Always it came after her hands reached too far, and always after a sharp rejection.

Normally it sickened me to the point of cruelty.

But she did not turn her face towards me again or glance at me as she might have just a month or so earlier. She didn't try to capitalize on my disgust or shove her injured pride in my face.

She was hiding. And that was something Izzy just _didn't_ do.

And that made the vulnerability even more disconcerting. She wasn't constructing barriers with callous words or even tears. As she'd been doing with every insult tossed her way lately, she patiently weathered it.

It made me feel guilty.

And that guilt was inexcusable on my part. What she'd done to my friends, my _family_ , was unforgivable.

I should delight in every wince and every frown.

"Do you honestly think I care that much about you?" I said, grabbing hold of my earlier anger. "You're not worth avoiding."

"You said I disgust you," she said emotionlessly as she handed me the papers.

"So? As does the vast majority of Forks High," I said harshly. "Like I said, not worth avoiding."

"That's an admirable quality," she said quietly, eyes fixed stubbornly on the concrete.

I wanted to tell her to shut up, but I figured it would be more effective to simply ignore the absurdly inappropriate complement. For one thing, I wasn't sure what she could be admiring, my impressive grudge or streak of stubbornness.

Actually, I'm not sure why she'd complement me at all.

Unbidden, curiosity stretched within me as if waking up from a long slumber. No, not slumber. Curiosity for Izzy had been utterly nonexistent for almost my entire life.

I slammed it down furiously and focused on the papers. After a moment of oppressive silence and reading the same line over and over, I said rather pointedly, "Shouldn't you get to class?"

"It's just gym," Izzy said dismissively.

"Oh, I see," I snorted. "All the boys in there have already gotten between your legs, haven't they? Haven't much need to show them off _now_." The words tumbled out before I could stop them, and I inwardly cringed. In them, I heard something eerily similar to Mike Newton and Jacob Black.

But I kept hearing _her_ cries. I kept feeling her fingers curling into claws in my shirt, and I kept seeing Emmett shaking as he held her. I kept hearing her screaming and feeling the house shake as she broke everything she could touch because she was broken and if she'd been so irreparably damaged, it didn't make sense for there to be a lick of order around her either.

And at the source of that pain, at the very center and cause of it all was Isabella Swan.

And I knew that she deserved _every_ bitter and cruel thing that I could force through my lips. Even if it left me absolutely sick to my stomach to say the words.

At least, that was what I was trying to tell myself.

She was quiet for the longest pause as she considered me, and the shame was so _palpable_ that I felt my stomach twist. Unbidden, images of my mother's face when she broke one of my grandmother's glass figurines, of Alice after her father told her she was absolutely insane, of Rosalie when she first saw Emmett's face after everything went so horribly wrong. Helpless women who bore the consequences of things entirely out of their control and somehow felt _shame_ for it.

Why should I see them in her face now?

Then she spoke, her words surprisingly mild. "Why don't I give you my email address, and we can work out who does what and when," she suggested as she searched her backpack for a pencil.

It was a civil answer, and, if I was being truly honest with myself, it was much more than I deserved.

Shame clawed at me. When did Isabella Swan become the mature one, the one who didn't rise to bait and who so patiently endured difficult interactions? I'd all but called her a whore, and she'd only changed the subject.

Words like what I said were not undeserved, and they had their place not but a month or two ago. But I was already regretting my resolution of not just a moment ago.

I could exact punishment on Izzy for her crimes. But I couldn't do it at the cost of acting like a monster.

Perhaps if she acted with a _little_ less grace and poise or showed less remorse, it would be different.

But I couldn't treat someone so cruelly. Now that Izzy was acting a bit more human, she fell under that category as well.

And so the apology tumbled from my lips, quietly, even as I felt loathing course through me for her. "I'm sorry. That was uncalled for and...pointlessly demeaning."

"I deserve a lot worse," she said with a wry smile as she scribbled down the address. "But thank you."

She'd constructed a wall between me and her, I could see that now. She _did_ deserve a lot worse, and she'd decided to bow to that pain for her humanity's sake. But it would not drive her insane so long as she kept up that wall.

What that wall meant was entirely out of my understanding, however.

 _Why are you_ so _different?_ I wondered, frustrated. _Why can't you act like you did before?_ It had been so easy to _express_ my hatred for her. Now that she'd changed the rules, I wondered how on earth I was going to find a new outlet.

Even her _email_ address was above reproach: . "Not Izzy?" I murmured out loud before I could stop myself.

"My name is Bella," she said with a curious air of finality, and I was reminded of her strange declarations from before. _"_ _When are you going to put the pieces together, Edward? I'm not Izzy."_

I'd dismissed the absurd assertion as a ploy to frustrate me, another mind game. But in the context of these past weeks since it occurred to me that there was more genuine sentiment behind it than I'd previously imagined.

What if the person before me _actually_ thought she wasn't Izzy?

Perhaps she'd merely intended to say that she'd turned over a new leaf. But if she had somehow constructed in her mind a separation between Bella and Izzy, or if she imagined that she'd shed Izzy completely…

Well, she'd be certifiably insane.

And that could be _very_ pleasant to exploit.

As we stood in the light drizzle regarding each other silently, I inspected the expression on her face and found a face normally hardened by ignorance and cruelty now softened with patience and something that could conceivably be intelligence.

And I knew that, even still, I would condemn her to insanity. I would expose that weakness to the world regardless.

She was almost human. But if that humanity was punishable, I would not hesitate in exacting justice.

My fingers tightened over the paper, and I nodded slowly even as my thoughts began racing. "I'll email you tonight," I said finally as I turned to get back into my car, signaling the end of this conversation.

Izzy, Bella, whoever she was, ducked her head and said, "Alright," as she turned to go. Docile. Compliant.

My gut twisted in protest of my intentions, but cold fury settled it. She may act different, but she was as responsible for the pain she'd inflicted on my family today as she was a year ago when she first ruined the life of someone I considered a sister.

The law had no hold on her now, but perhaps she'd place the power right back in my hands.

The only question now was the degree of her insanity, if such a degree existed. And then how to prove it.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thoughts? Pretty ominous, right? Or is that just me? ;)

Oh, and did anyone notice? Finally a decent sized chapter! Hopefully it didn't drag.

Leave a review! They feed my self esteem, and optimized self esteems produce great writing! You will enjoy the fruits of your labors now _weeks_ in the future when I post the chapter that _you_ helped to create.


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Do you guys ever re-read something you wrote and find a million ridiculous typos? Yeah. That was this chapter. It was positively riddled with them, so if you spot anymore, I'd love to hear about it in a review so I know to fix it.

 **Warning:** Excessive awkward dinner conversation to follow.

Ha. Yeah, remember when I said I wasn't going to warn you guys over things that didn't actually need a warning? Well, I just did it. Again. You're welcome. Although if it makes you lovely readers feel any better, I probably won't write anything that needs an _actual_ warning.

 **Disclaimer:** Does this feel as redundant to you as it does to me? Am I _actually_ expected to put this at the beginning of every chapter? But I did it for the past five/six chapters, so it would be a bit sad to stop now.

So, here it is again: I own _nothing_. Most everything I own is a gift from my parents, including my brain, and I think I'd remember Stephenie Meyer giving me the gift of Edward Cullen. And I think you lot would know too because I would _definitely_ make a huge deal out of it.

Chapter 6:

"Bella?"

I fell out of bed with a thump, heart pounding as I looked around me even as I struggled with the sheets tangled about my limbs. _Edward. Where's Edward?_

The room was agonizingly familiar and yet entirely alien to me. Even stripped to the barest necessities, it could not resemble the safe haven where I'd spent my nights in Edward's arms. And that brought me to another painful conclusion: Edward wasn't here. He wasn't about to chuckle softly and rescue me from my own bedding or tuck my hair over my shoulders and out of my face. Actually, he didn't care whether I lived or died.

Well, perhaps that's a stretch. I'm sure it's causes him a great deal of frustration that I haven't managed to get run over by a car. _What this Edward wouldn't give for Tyler to get another shot at me._

"What is wrong with me?" I murmured, clawing at my eyes as sticky guilty welled up. "What a morbid thought!"

" _Bella?_ "

I looked up as Charlie stuck his head in the door, trepidation obvious but mostly tempered by hesitation. I instantly recognized Charlie as the one who woke me from my nightmare by knocking at my door. _Idiot. Why didn't I answer him?_ "Sorry," I said, struggling with the sheets. "I took a nap. Bad idea."

"The…dinner party is in an hour," Charlie said slowly before relaxing when I fully extricated myself from the sheets. It occurred to me that it might relieve him to find me fully clothed. I'm sure he'd learned the hard way with Izzy to knock. The fact that he'd hesitated to barge in even after hearing me crash to the floor spoke volumes. "I thought I'd check in and make sure you weren't still sleeping."

"What? Have you checked on me before?" I wondered as I stumbled towards a clock. To my chagrin, the time indeed read five thirty. I'd been asleep since eleven. _What a reckless waste of time!_ I'd intended to start brushing up on _The Crucible_ for an essay with Mrs. Palmer on Monday.

More than just wasting time, I felt feverish and weak. The nap had not agreed with me, and contrary to my intentions, I felt worse than before.

 _The nightmares certainly don't help,_ I thought.

"Sure," Charlie said. "I tried to grab you for lunch, but you didn't answer your door. You were passed out, kid."

"Sorry," I said, sweeping my impossible hair over one shoulder. "I guess I haven't been sleeping well lately."

Charlie regarded me silently for a moment before frowning. "How about I call off this whole thing? I mean, obviously this is stressing you out, and—"

"No, no!" I said quickly. Cutting me off from the Cullens was _not_ an option. "I've been looking forward to this all week. You will _not_ deprive me of this," I added with a playful firmness. It was a weak attempt on my part, but Charlie seemed to appreciate the effort.

"Are you sure?" He strode into my room and touched my forehead.

"Dad, what are you doing?" I said, fighting a smile unsuccessfully when his expression twisted with concentration.

"This will tell me if you're sick, right?" Charlie said, staring hard at my forehead as if it would yield all the answers.

I stepped out of his reach. "The object is to see if I feel hot, not to squeeze the life out of my head," I said.

Charlie paused. "I…probably should have known that."

I laughed. "Probably."

"Alright, I'll leave you alone to do…whatever it is you do to get ready," Charlie said, edging slowly towards the door.

"I'll be ready by a quarter after," I assured him as I moved towards my closet to find something halfway presentable.

"No, no, take your time," Charlie said, waving me off. "Wouldn't mind it if we were a tad late, actually…"

 _That_ surprised me. This Charlie seemed much more extroverted than the father I remembered. My own Charlie would have sooner died than be pinned into such a frivolous social engagement, especially one of such a suffocatingly awkward nature like this one.

"Sure," I said. "I'll do my best."

"Well, maybe not _that_ late," Charlie said. "I do intend to _show up_."

"Ha, ha," I said dryly.

"Alright, alright, I'll get out of your hair…"

It didn't take me long to find an outfit. I'd donated the vast majority of Izzy's wardrobe already, so there wasn't much to pick from. I'd had the good sense though to stop by some thrift stores last night and find outfits more appropriate to a dinner engagement. It had felt nice at first to indulge in frumpy clothing, but I didn't intend to dress carelessly _forever_.

The longest component of the process was my hair which resembled a rats nest more than anything. I wondered how Charlie had stopped from laughing at the sight. Detangling it was almost excessively painful, and I found yet another reason to curse the absence of Edward from my life. He would have laughed too, but chances are I wouldn't have been chasing a dream Edward like mad had I not feared I was losing him permanently in my waking hours and thus waking up with a rats nest in the first place.

When I saw how utterly dead I looked, I almost entertained wearing makeup. But for one thing, I'd thrown out all of Izzy's. For another, even if I hadn't, I had absolutely _no_ clue how to apply any of it.

 _What does it matter? Alice doesn't_ care _what you look like. Not only is she entirely indifferent to your appearance, but she's nothing like the Alice you remember._

With that thought went the last of my energy directed towards my appearance. The voice was right.

There was no point to it. No point to anything.

"Not yet, at least," I said, forcing something like optimism from my lips. I couldn't afford to succumb to despair, not when I still had so much time to alter the current course of my life. . "I am _not_ going to give up."

Though I had a GPA sprinkled with D's, I pointedly sat down and began _The Crucible_ just to prove to myself just that I was determined to invest and prepare for the future that loomed ever over me. I would take this one battle at a time. First I would survive dinner tonight, and then I would write a fantastic essay analyzing the themes of the Crucible. And _then_ I would ace my Biology test so Mr. Varner would stop threatening to separate me from Edward.

And all the while, I ignored the hollowness in my chest and the rising certainty that none of it mattered anyway.

* * *

"Well, hello!"

A woman who looked a lot like Alice in everything but height and amount of makeup opened the door and beamed at us cheerfully, much too happy to see the father of a girl her own daughter loathed. _Either she's fake…or she doesn't care about what I did._

The thought of another parent exhibiting Carlisle-like characteristics should have made me happy. Instead it made me wary. Somehow I doubted Alice had been that lucky.

In fact…didn't Alice originally get sent to an insane asylum?

I saw the woman before me with new eyes as she ushered us in and chatted with Charlie cheerfully.

"—sit down in ten minutes or so. Izzy, they're in back," Sharon said, waving vaguely in back of her.

Taking this as my cue to be dismissed, after hanging up my rain jacket I picked my way slowly in the direction she pointed. The small, cramped house felt stuffed and utterly _quiet_. Suffocating. Not a speck of dust, and every picture frame was in order. In our house, it spoke of an emptiness left by Renee. But at least it was _comfortable_ although at times disgustingly luxurious. The cold that permeated from this house was of an entirely different nature.

 _I'm reading way too much into this. I_ want _to dislike her mother._

As I continued down the narrow hallway, I began to hear muffled voices. I stood there for a long moment, debating whether I could force myself to knock or if I could just sit in the bathroom and hide until dinner. _I'm already putting myself through the entire dinner,_ I reasoned. _Why make this harder on myself?_

But then I heard it, _his_ voice. _I'm going insane._ But I'd take insanity any day if I got to be with him just a few moments more.

I knocked on the door before I could rethink my decision, and then entered without hesitation when I heard a voice call to come in.

"Welcome to my crappy home," Alice said flatly as I took in a small game room with plush couches and a large flat screen TV. My eyes fell not on Alice who spoke but on Edward who lounged casually across the couch, his nearly unreadable eyes burning into mine. "Feel free to laugh that you can fit three of my homes in your garage."

"It's a nice home," I said, stepping further into the room and shutting the door behind me.

Alice snorted but gestured to one of the seats. "Feel free to sit or whatever. Edward and I were just discussing the potential of continuous charge distribution in a homework problem. I don't suppose you're taking physics?"

"Physics is beyond me," I admitted as I took a lone chair, crossing my legs protectively. Somehow the air felt oppressive alone with them. I'd yet to deal with both of them at the same time before, and, unfortunately, it was a bit nerve wracking thus far. "Just ignore me, then."

Alice didn't need to be told to do so twice before she launched back into a discussion with Edward. He spoke relatively little, and I wondered if this was in part because of me. What had been unreadable before to me now seemed unfortunately familiar: cold, calculating, observant, reserving all of his warmth for Alice.

Alice on the other hand seemed generally unaffected by my presence, completely ignoring me in contrast to Edward glancing coolly at me every now and then. _Interesting_. Alice wouldn't forgive me, but she wasn't bitter like Edward was.

I tried to decide which was worse: someone who actively hated me, or someone who barely spared me a glance.

Abruptly Alice got to her feet. "Dinner is ready." With that she made her way to the door and marched towards what I assume is the dining room.

Interesting. Nobody had called for her, and she hadn't checked her phone for the time or a text from her mom. She just _knew_. _I suppose that at least hasn't changed._

"Are you staying for dinner?" I asked Edward quietly as we both got to our feet and moved towards the door. He pointedly entered before me and didn't answer.

 _Ouch._ I rolled my eyes heavenward and couldn't quite decide if I wanted him to stay or not.

"Would I brush my hair if I wasn't?"

I looked up sharply to meet Edward's eyes. He was just glancing over his shoulder at me, and his face lacked as much warmth as ever for me. But he still _spoke_ to me.

I finally noticed his hair and found myself saying, "You didn't do a very good job of it." Inwardly I cringed. _Oh, great. Way to sound like Izzy._

Edward turned again to roll his eyes at me before facing forward again. "Shall I correct myself? Would I _try_ to brush my hair if I wasn't?"

With that we entered the dining room, and I went to sit by Charlie quickly. He sat near the head of the table where Alice's mom sat. Across from Charlie and me sat Alice and another petite girl that bore a striking resemblance to the Alice I remembered. Though she wore her hair long, nearly to her waist, it was styled with a care and precision that I'm sure the Alice Cullen I knew would have applauded. Her large eyes were rimmed in black with such _long_ eyelashes that I wondered for a moment if they were fake.

She was beautiful, as beautiful as a human could hope to be with cosmetics and natural beauty.

And she was pointedly _not_ looking at her older sister.

 _Alice had a sister?_ I wondered with surprise.

Nobody introduced us, though, so I assumed I was supposed to know her.

 _Oh, great. This might get awkward._

Sharon set down a plate of steaming roast and said, "That's the last of it! Why don't we bow our head in grace then and bless the food and then dig in?"

Instant awkwardness assaulted me. _Say grace?_ What did that entail, chanting in Latin or…or holding hands? I don't know what faith Alice was as a human! It hadn't stuck, after all. _Then again, I've never seen Alice with her food,_ I reasoned.

Somehow the idea of a vampire blessing his or her food felt ridiculous.

I saw Charlie, Alice, and her sister bow their heads and extend their hands. With some hesitation I grabbed Charlie's and finally noticed another hand extended towards me.

Sitting opposite of Alice's mom wasn't Alice's father, but Edward. And it was his hand outstretched towards me.

 _This was a fantastic idea,_ I declared to myself solemnly, trying not to grin because that would be creepy.

And maybe it already _was_. He hates me. And even though he's not exactly kind, but I'm positively euphoric that I can hold his hand.

But to turn my back on him is to admit that I lost Edward. And then I would stop functioning altogether if I did that. So for now I'd simply have to be creepy.

Holding Edward's hand wasn't like contact with Carlisle's because despite the temperature difference, this hand was still intrinsically familiar to me. I'd held it a thousand times, and not even time and our shared humanity could give me pause.

And for a short prayer from Alice's mother Sharon, I was in bliss. I could pretend that Edward and I were at an awkward dinner engagement with maybe Angela Weber (the nice version) and her family (which explained the religious prayer, seeing as her father was a Lutheran pastor), and he was holding my hand because he loved me every bit as much as I loved him, and it was just convenient that social conventions required it as well…

"Amen," I heard him murmur, and something cracked in me when he pulled away. I had no choice. I let him go.

"This smells delicious," Charlie declared a bit too loudly, and it occurred to me that perhaps the palpable awkwardness of this situation was hitting him. I turned away from him to hide my grin.

"As always, Miss Brandon, the food looks wonderful," Edward said quietly, flashing a heart stopping smile at Miss Brandon.

"Why, thank you, both of you," Sharon said with a modest smile. "Dig in, then." Despite her words, she was the one who served most of us as we passed plates to her.

Part of me wanted to inquire as to where Mr. Brandon was, but seeing as there was no seat left for him and Edward said _Miss_ not _Mrs._ , I predicted instant reproach should I bring it up.

It was a classic meal of roast and potatoes, and I made note of Charlie's obvious enjoyment. Perhaps I'd erred on the side of creativity. _I'll stop by Wal-Mart after school tomorrow and get a crock pot,_ I decided.

"So, Bella, how are your studies going?"

I opened my mouth to waffle around the question when Charlie interrupted, "Actually, they're going _really_ well." He seemed stunned by his own pronouncement. "I don't know what happened, but she's starting to take it really seriously." Alice scoffed quietly at this, but Charlie ignored her. "All of her teachers have emailed me or called to tell me what a difference they see."

I rolled my eyes heavenward, thinking of math where a test last semester that hadn't been entered in until after break had tanked my semester grade down to a solid F. "It's not something to be proud of to get a D in a class, Dad," I said, trying to find a place to look that wasn't in view of Charlie, Alice, or Edward.

"Honey, I thought you'd be lucky to graduate," Charlie said flatly. "I'm doing cartwheels here that you're even doing homework. Cut me some slack."

"It's nice that you've turned over a new leaf, Bella," Sharon said brightly. _Fake. The woman is_ fake _. That, or trying_ way _too hard._

I shrugged noncommittally. "Sure." _Just stop talking about my grades._

"I like your skirt," the girl next to Alice said to me suddenly.

Wow. And here I thought I'd destroyed my reputation for fashion. "Thanks?" It came out like a question. It was just a jean skirt that went down past my knees.

"Is it true that you worked with a designer in Paris over the summer? As a _model_?" The girl said, leaning forward with wide eyes. She was probably fourteen or fifteen years old, I decided, even though the heavy makeup added several years to her face. Maybe she wasn't at the high school yet which would explain the unwarranted respect in her eyes.

"Um…" I honestly had _no idea_. I glanced at Charlie, hoping he'd swoop in to clarify this time, but he was looking at me expectantly. _Well, darn. I can't just guess and get it wrong._

I'd just make an educated guess: although everyone was fond of telling me how ugly I was without makeup, I'd been sort of beautiful with makeup. And I certainly had the resources to spend the summer in Paris. _So, knowing Izzy, I_ probably _did. But she would stretch it a bit, wouldn't she?_

Ugh. It just sounded so _pretentious_ to corroborate that rumor. Of _course_ Izzy would insert herself into the fashion capital of the world over the summer and tell _all_ of her small town friends about it.

When in doubt, stall. "How did you hear that?" I asked, and Alice and Edward scoffed in sync. Okay. Probably not the most intelligent question.

"Oh, _everyone_ was talking about it," the girl said with such sincerity and wonder that I found myself softening towards the girl. She didn't seem nearly as hateful as most of the people I met in Forks. And yet…she is _oddly_ friendly to someone who terrorized her older sister.

I panicked. I had no idea how to answer the question. How did it make sense to refute it? Izzy would _never_ admit to lying through her teeth. But somehow I was loathe to associate with it seeing as the current me would probably die before agreeing to model anything, even for my mom.

"…Didn't you?" The girl pressed with wide eyes.

I grimaced and looked away, unable to stand the palpable hero worship. Obviously this girl cared about fashion, and I must be sort of cool to her. But I just _didn't_ care about fashion anymore, and I couldn't bear to disappoint her.

My eyes met Edward's, and I regretted looking there immediately. His brows were quirked, obviously confused by my graceless refusal to answer something I'd probably answered with ease a short time before.

I rolled my eyes heavenward and tried to force _something_ halfway intelligent through my lips that wouldn't make me look insane. "Um…no?" _Great. Fantastic. Really, I think that's your most impressive lie yet._

It was so _palpably_ awkward that finally Charlie was spurred into action. "We went to see a show, and Bella got to speak to the designer, but that was it, really." He nudged me. "Got a little warped in the retelling, huh?"

 _Ha! I knew she stretched it!_ "Yup," I said immediately and even meeting her eyes, significantly more comfortable now that Charlie had volunteered some information. "Guess I got a little carried away earlier in the year."

"…Oh," the girl said, blinking. She looked distinctly disappointed with that answer.

"Hey, dummy," Alice said, flicking a pea at her sister and smirking when she flinched, "Izzy doesn't care about fashion anymore." The _"so you're dumb for bringing it up"_ went without saying.

"That doesn't make any sense!" The girl, Cynthia, snapped immediately at her older sister with narrowed eyes. _Wow. That escalated quickly._

Time to change the conversation. "I love these potatoes, Miss Brandon," I said quickly and flashing a smile at Sharon. "I don't suppose you could share your recipe?"

"Oh, I didn't know you could cook, Bella," Sharon said with a big smile, fake smile. _Interesting that she's the only one who remembers to call me Bella._

And _once again_ the conversation turned towards me. _Great._ "I don't really," I asserted quickly before Charlie could say anything. "But Ch—my dad is obviously enjoying it, so I figure I should at least try."

"Well, of course," Sharon said warmly. "I'll make a copy of the recipe before you leave. But I hope you and your father know you can stop by, and I'll make them any time."

Alice gagged loudly, and in sync Cynthia and Sharon glared at her. _This night just_ isn't _going to go well, is it?_

"That would be really nice," I said quickly. "Thanks."

Sharon's eyes came back to me, face transforming into a mask of pleasantness. _Scary._ "Of course."

"So, Alice," Charlie said, smiling at Alice. "How's the big year going for you? I remember my junior year was my hardest."

Alice shrugged carelessly. "At Forks? It's a breeze. _What_?" Alice glared at her sister who had done something apparently. "It's true. Forks High is embarrassingly easy."

"The hardest part is sticking around long enough to graduate," Charlie agreed.

"Exactly," Alice said firmly with one last glare at her sister before returning to her food.

"So, have you started considering colleges yet?" Charlie asked.

"MIT looks promising," Alice said. "I have to raise my English and reading scores on the ACT and get more impressive extracurricular, though."

Charlie scoffed disbelievingly. "A thirty four isn't enough for them?"

I'd been mid bite, and I began to cough spastically. I'd caught a glimpse of Izzy's score: a _sixteen._ Izzy was barely literate as far as I could tell and capable of only the most _simple_ algebra. And Alice had a _thirty four._

Alice glanced at me but otherwise ignored me as I quieted. "It is, but I'm also hoping for scholarships."

I could have cried. Somehow I'd hoped that the Cullens here would share their counterparts disregard for college, but of _course_ the absurdly talented Cullens would pursue their ambitions. I was almost afraid of where Edward was looking into going.

"Well, feel free to call me up if you need _any_ help with fees or a recommendation," Charlie said firmly. "A talented kid like you should go far."

Alice didn't even bat an eye, but there was a hint of a smile on her otherwise expressionless face. _She's happy_ , I thought. "Thanks."

"Oh, that's so generous of you," Sharon said, obviously flustered. "But—"

"I know what it's like to be stuck in a small town," Charlie interrupted. "How can I overlook a genius in my own home town? No, really, call me any time. I've got connections everywhere." He looked at Edward and said before Alice's mom could protest, "And what about you, Edward?"

Edward, unlike Alice who didn't seemed to mind Charlie's relation to me, regarded my father somewhat coolly. "I'm keeping my options open."

"MIT, John Hopkins, Dartmouth, Harvard," Alice listed off in a droning monotone. "You know, the works."

Charlie whistled. "Doesn't surprise me a bit. Guess neither of you kids care about keeping it local, huh?"

Edward shrugged, and his eyes flickered to me as he said, "As long as I end up somehow near Emmett and Rosalie, I don't really care. My parents understand."

 _Oh, crap._

I couldn't hold his gaze, and I looked down at my lap. It wasn't my sins that caused Edward and Alice so much pain, but it was my face all the same.

I couldn't fathom how painful it must be for them to have parted ways with no promise of ever reuniting, even in college. Somehow I had a hard time imagining Emmett being able to follow Edward and Alice to MIT or Dartmouth. So when would they be together again? College was the time to split with friends of the past, not reunite. And what after _that?_

He'd brought them up on purpose, I knew. He'd wanted to remind me of what I'd supposedly done. _Well, message received._

"I'm sure they do," Charlie said quickly, and the guilt and shame in his own voice was more than I could bear. Why did _Charlie_ have to suffer for Izzy as well? How selfish _was_ that girl?

"Where are you looking, Bella?" Sharon asked curiously.

 _And we're back to my grades_ again _._ "I'm just focusing on graduating," I said. It was true. No college would take me. Well, no respectable college.

"If you _do_ go to college, though, what do you think you'd study?" Sharon asked. "I know your first instinct is to say 'I don't know', but every kid has at least _some_ idea."

I considered saying _I don't know_ anyway just to spite her, but Charlie was looking at me so curiously that I decided to actually entertain the question. "…English has become more interesting of late," I admitted. Alice and Edward began to cough immediately, and I felt a chagrined smile tug at my lips. Apparently Izzy's writing skills (or lack thereof) were widely publicized. Ignoring them, I said, "I think I might want to try teaching. It's…important to have teachers that aren't just there because they have a degree and this was the only way they could get paid. If…that makes any sense."

"Teaching, eh?" Charlie mused. "Well, you certainly would be able to connect with the common kid…Wait. That sounded bad coming from a parent."

"It's true isn't it?" I said, sighing. Actually, his comment depressed me. That would be _one_ positive from such a horrible GPA should I go on to consider teaching _if_ I'd been the one who earned it. In reality, I was just as snobby as any straight A student, just without the grades to back it up. "Frankly, I'm surprised you didn't laugh in my face."

"I didn't know you liked kids, Bella," Sharon said, and it occurred to me that she'd called me by my name all night consistently. Some part of my indifference began to thaw when I realized that.

"I didn't always," I said, and I glanced at Alice and saw her mime gagging at Edward who chuckled silently. _Ouch._ "I'd probably be a horrible teacher though," I reflected, stung by their blatant mocking of my hastily constructed career aspirations. "I should probably not pursue it for the sake of the kids."

"Oh, don't say that!" Sharon said with such an encouraging smile that in my vulnerability I almost accepted it as sincere. "Teaching is one of those skills that can always be learned."

"Then why are there so many _bad_ teachers?" Alice wondered with such obvious frustration that I had to bite back a smile. For such a brilliant person, I would imagine Alice found a lot of teachers "bad".

"Some of them don't try to improve," Sharon said pointedly, her tone taking a sharper edge.

"It's true," Charlie said. "I think if you honestly tried hard at it, you could be good, Bells."

 _I'm suffocating_. Why did this feel like one big circle of praising Izzy and ignoring Alice who _obviously_ deserves it much more? "Like I said, I'm just focusing on graduating."

"Are you okay?" Cynthia asked with wide, concerned eyes. "You don't sound like you normally do."

Ice froze my veins, and I gaped at her. For some reason actually being called on it caught me off guard although I'm not _quite_ sure why. People have been telling me I'm acting bizarre for a while now. When I considered that, I felt myself calm into a shrug. "I'm totally fine. I'm not allergic to schoolwork anymore actually, so I guess I'm better than usual."

Cynthia frowned. "But you seem… _sad._ "

Darn this perceptive kid! She's so sweet (when she's not talking to Alice), but come on! Not in front of Edward and Alice! They can _smell_ blood! Especially mine!

What could I say? _Yes. I'm quite miserable, actually, thanks for noticing. But please don't bring it up because I ruined your older sister's life and the life of her best friends. I don't even compare._

"…Nope," I lied awkwardly into the ensuing silence. "Not sad at all."

"Wow. How awkward can you _make_ a dinner?" Alice mused, and Cynthia glared at her immediately, her cheeks blooming with heat. _Aw, crap. Alice, lay off of her. She was just concerned._

"I heard you made the dance team," Edward said to Cynthia, and the crooked smile on his lips nearly undid me, as did the kindness behind the subject change.

Cynthia's anger faded from her eyes, but it was replaced by a diminished sadness as she shrugged into her plate.

"Oh, yes!" Sharon laughed. "She did! She practiced for _weeks_ on the audition! And she made it in easily, didn't you, Cynthia?"

Cynthia shrugged, but she looked slightly less depressed.

"It wasn't hard," Cynthia muttered.

"That's exciting," Edward said with a smile in his voice. "You want to be a dancer, right?"

"What else would she be?" Alice snapped suddenly. "She literally can't do _anything_ else."

The hurt on Cynthia's face was so plain that I had to avert my eyes. "Mary Alice Brandon, that is _unacceptable_!" Sharon said coldly, snapping openly at Alice for the first time. "That's _not_ true, and you know it. And while you may be used to verbal abuse, kindly remember that your younger sister, blessedly, is _not_."

Oh. Wow. Awkward. _I do believe I was just referenced._ My suspicion was confirmed when Sharon cast me a quick glance and then look away just as quickly, looking quite uncomfortable.

Awkwardness reigned for a long moment before Alice said in as dead a tone as she could muster, "May I be excused?"

Sharon paused before saying, voice just as cold and indifferent as Alice's, "You may."

With a screech of wood and even, heavy steps, Alice exited the dining room with plate, unfinished, in hand.

"I'll be going after her then," Edward said quietly. "Thank you for the wonderful meal, Miss Brandon."

"Of course, Edward," Sharon said, but her lips were thin.

With that Edward quickly made his exit. When he did so, Sharon relaxed in her seat with a sigh. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to…to—"

"No, please don't pretend it didn't happen," I said quickly. "It did." _I just wasn't the one who did it._ Not that she knew that. And if she would take my advice and remember that, the fact that I was her eldest daughter's former tormentor, perhaps things wouldn't deteriorate again into messes like tonight.

"…And Charlie, I—"

"If Bella isn't upset, neither am I," Charlie said gently.

Sharon smiled at us, but I quickly averted my eyes towards Cynthia who was staring fixedly at her dinner plate with glassy, unblinking eyes. "She's proud of you, you know," I said quietly. "I think I just put her in a bad mood."

Cynthia sniffled and shook her head. "No, my _existence_ puts her in a bad mood." But she began to eat again, munching silently on peas. Surreptitiously she wiped at her eye.

"She's just a teenager," Charlie said, shaking his head. "I can't count the amount of times Bella here has told me to go to he– "He stopped before awkwardly finishing with an _obvious_ revision, "–hades."

Cynthia laughed, and I felt my lips tugging back into a smile. Finally my history of histrionics was paying off. Although it honestly surprised me. I'd had the impression from the way Charlie interacted with me at first that he had a relatively good relationship with his daughter. Perhaps it hadn't been as rosy as I thought.

"It was awfully kind of you to offer to be a sponsor of sorts for her, though," Sharon said with a warm smile towards Charlie. "She's a handful, but she really _is_ talented." _Why don't you say this sort of thing while she's in the room?_

"It's the least I can do," Charlie said, shaking her end. "End of discussion. Even if…" Awkward hesitation in which I roll my eyes heavenward, "…things had played out differently, I would help her out. I've always liked Alice."

"She does have that charm about her," Sharon agreed. "More peas, Bella?"

"Thank you," I said though I really wanted nothing of the sort. _Disgusting_. "If you don't mind me asking, since when do you know I'm Bella? Even Alice called me Izzy."

Sharon smiled bashfully, and I had the oddest urge to gag like Alice. "Oh, I just noticed that's what Charlie was calling you."

"Oh," I said. It was an innocent enough explanation. Except it implied great attention to Charlie.

And then it occurred to me, well, more of smacked my conscious mind in the face, that Sharon was _into_ Charlie.

Charlie's willingness to come to this party, Sharon's over the top consideration of me, and the weird vibes between them all made significantly more sense. Of _course_ she'd be nice to me; she was trying to get in good with my _father_.

Oh, wow. Alice must be _loving_ this.

"Well, as a reconciliation dinner, I don't think it went too badly," Sharon said after a moment of quiet eating.

"Maybe if I go to a friend's house next time it'll go better," Cynthia muttered.

"You have been one of the most pleasant parts," I said fervently. _Sure, everything became_ super awkward _both times you spoke to me, but I will take that over Edward and Alice laughing at me any day._ "Please come. If there's a next time." _There probably will be. Unfortunately._

Cynthia's brows wrinkled in confusion but she still smiled at me hesitantly.

"It can only go up from here, right?" Sharon smiled at me, and I tried to force a grimace back.

Yup. In theory.

* * *

 **A/N:** It's just about to get really good~! So if Bella's awkward waffling lost you, maybe the next chapter will redeem her a bit. Maybe.

Be sure to leave a review! Every review is a delight to read. Of course, they also shatter the illusion that the only person who will ever read this crap is myself, but it's a pretty pitiful illusion in the first place.

Please. It deserves to be shattered. Do your part.


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N:** I've been wonderfully productive as a writer these last few days, so I thought I'd shake things up again and post this earlier than usual. And seeing as this chapter is enough of a monster without my usual ridiculously long author's notes, I'll shut up now and just leave you lot to it.

 **Disclaimer:** I am the moon to Stephenie Meyer's sun, merely reflecting the light of her genius, and poorly at that. Oh, and Lady Moonglow as well. Both of them are almost ridiculously better at writing than me.

Chapter 7:

Mr. Banner's eyes were on me even as he spoke to both of us. "So, you're saying you two haven't even _met_ yet to work on the project?"

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. His eyes were an accusation, and it was obvious who it was intended for. _I_ was the weak link here after all with a D in this class. "We were going to meet over the weekend," I lied. We hadn't discussed anything at all, actually.

Mr. Banner eyed me, sighed, and shook his head. "I thought you were trying to impress me?"

 _This is just getting better._ "You can complain after you've seen the finished product."

"…And remember that Edward is _only_ supposed to do his fair share, half?" Mr. Banner pressed.

 _Boy. This is just_ great _for team morale._ I could feel Edward's eyes on me, and I focused my eyes straight ahead. I _hated_ that bitter, sarcastic smile he wore whenever I exposed a weakness. It wasn't so much that the rancor it betrayed that bothered me (though it's something to consider), it's the fact that there's such a darkness inside of him at all.

It feels like Izzy tainted him. And I _hate_ that.

"I'll do my fair share, and I won't tank Edward's grade," I droned, hoping the comprehensive answer would make him _go away._

"Remember our deal," Mr. Banner warned.

"Yes," I said. Hopefully the one word answer would be too short to warrant a response.

"Good." Then he looked over my shoulder, sighed, shook his head, and lumbered to his feet as he dragged his chair towards Mike's group. "In the middle of class of all places…" I was too scared to look behind me and check what Mike was doing _this_ time.

"So," I said, staring determinedly at my feet. "How's this weekend for you?"

"Fine," Edward said dismissively. "I don't want to know what deal you made with him, do I?"

It wasn't the kind of deal he was thinking of, but somehow I _doubt_ that Edward would appreciate my under the table deal with Mr. Banner that allowed me to sit next to him. "Probably not."

He sighed. "This weekend is fine."

* * *

Port Angelus: the best place to escape to when you don't want your dad to know that you have absolutely no friends to spend your time with on a Friday night.

The fact was, Charlie just _wasn't_ used to having a daughter who came home directly after school and locked herself up in her room, only emerging for dinner. And he'd been patient, but if I didn't want to end up in therapy, it was best to at least _pretend_.

"Bookstore," I muttered as I crawled through the traffic. "Let's find a good book store…"

If only Edward weren't so _thoroughly_ distracting as a boyfriend. Maybe if he were a bit more boring, I might have spent more time here before the nightmare flip, and maybe I'd know where I was going…

 _This looks like an intellectual sort of street, the kind with a bookstore,_ I mused, turning right. I didn't _really_ need to find a bookstore, after all. I just needed to kill time before dinner (alone) and then driving back (again, alone).

I should have known I wasn't that lucky.

I felt him before I saw him, like a weight on the edge of my consciousness, dragging my attention down, down…down to him, standing with unmistakable tension and fury, hands clenched at his sides at the side of the road, his back to me.

 _Edward._

And a _bunch_ of scary looking men walking towards him.

I didn't think. I slammed my brakes on the deserted street and hurried out of my car.

"—because we've got a _message_ for you," a man boomed. "Nothing to be afraid of. Just a few words here and there…"

"You can tell Jacob Black that if he wants to speak with me, he can do so himself in person." Edward's voice was smooth and cool, totally calm and collected.

"Edward?" I called, wincing inwardly when my voice trembled a bit. "Um, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, look, you brought a friend," the man cooed. "I hope you don't intend to be stingy, do you, Cullen?"

Edward's head whipped towards me, and I froze in place at the murderous glare. "Couldn't you have kept _driving?_ " Edward snapped, lunging forward and roughly dragging me to his side.

No, not to his side…behind him.

 _Oh._

… _Crap._

"What's going on?" I pressed, peeking over Edward's shoulder at the man. "Why does he know your name? And Jake's?"

"Your boyfriend has arranged a little party for me," Edward said through clenched teeth. "And you've just crashed it."

" _Jake?_ " I made eye contact with the man, and the man winked. When I recoiled, the men behind him laughed.

"Just be _quiet_ , Izzy," Edward snapped before addressing the man. "Alright. I'm listening. What do you want?"

The man strolled closer, as did the four or five other men behind him. "Oh, the usual…"

With horror, I recognized the man finally.

It was the…the _guy._ The one I met in Port Angelus the first time around, the one who…

 _Well, this is just_ great _!_ I thought furiously. _I walked_ right into this _a second time._

And somehow I doubt Edward is about to magically save us both again.

"Let's not be too hasty about this," I said, throwing sanity out the window as I slid in front of Edward protectively. "How much money did Jake pay you?"

The man scratched his jaw thoughtfully. "A lot. And it's a very pleasant job," the man said with a mild smile before reaching me and grabbing me roughly. Instead of pushing me away as I expected, though, he drew me closer and inhaled deeply. He stank of cigarettes. "I'm going to enjoy this a lot," he murmured, and I felt a shudder of repulsion course through me.

"Izzy—"

 _It's Bella,_ I repeated inwardly for the millionth time before addressing the man in as calm and reasonable a voice as possible. "Whatever he promised you, I'll double it."

The man's other hand touched my hip and dipped lower, and I jerked away reflexively. The man's smirk made me feel at once dirty and like I'd somehow given something away.

"Is that so?" He pinched my arm roughly, and I bit back a cry of pain. "How about I have my fun, and you pay me triple so I don't _kill_ you when I'm done?"

"That's _enough_ ," Edward snarled, tearing me from the man's grasp and sending me stumbling away. "Your message is for me, so deliver it."

"With pleasure!" The man grinned and then delivered a powerful right hook.

"My name is Isabella Swan!" I yelled, panicked, stepping in between Edward and the man while Edward stumbled back, disorientated by the hit. "My father is Charlie Swan. He's a millionaire, he lives in Forks just an hour or two away. I can pay you _anything_ , just leave him, us, alone!"

The man paused. "Isabella Swan?" He laughed. "Well, if it isn't the very slut who started this whole mess!"

"I can pay you," I repeated desperately. I was a broken record, but it was all I could say.

"You're being ridiculous," Edward growled, jerking me backwards. If people didn't stop _doing_ that, I was going to fall and kill myself! "No, _insane_. Get in your car and drive away _now._ "

Though my glare lacked much of the venom that made Edward's so terrifying, I held his eyes anyway as I dug through my purse for my wallet. Inside it I knew would be two one hundred dollar bills that I kept forgetting to break, and I tossed them at the man. "That's barely a _fraction_ of what I'll pay you to go back to Jacob and tell him that the message was received."

"Two hundred bucks?" The man regarded my thoughtfully, and the calculating look in his eyes left me feeling sick. "Tell me, girl. How much would you pay for me to leave this kid alone?" He stalked forward and reached for Edward. Edward tried to dodge, but because he tried to stay between me and the man, the man was able to fist his hands in Edward's hair and yank him forward, landing a solid punch in Edward's gut. A wordless scream was torn from my lips as I stumbled towards him, but the man shoved me back. "Well? How much is he worth?"

"Please don't hurt him," I gasped, blinking back tears. "Anything. _Anything_. Just leave him alone."

"Even with your own body?" The man queried.

It took less than a second to decide. "Yes."

"Izzy, _stop_ escalating things!" Edward snapped. "They won't _kill_ me—"

The man rolled his eyes, and then his leg flew out and with an agonizing _thwack_ knocked Edward's legs out from under him. My hand flew to my mouth in horror, beginning to hyperventilate as I watched Edward's head crack against the pavement.

"The lady and I are having a business deal, yeah?" The man snapped. "So _shush_."

"If you hurt him _one more time_ ," I said desperately as I edged between him and Edward, "I swear I won't pay you a dime. And I can pay you a _lot_."

The man quirked a brow. "Ten thousand dollars?"

"Done," I said. "Twenty, thirty. Just leave him alone." _I just offered him about half of what my dad makes a year in the other universe._

 _I don't care._

The man considered me, and I felt my heart pounding in my ear. _Take the deal. Take it._ "Within the hour?"

"Yes," I said.

"And do I get _you_ as well?" The man said, eyes raking over my body.

As _romantic_ as it would be to let myself get raped for Edward, I doubted it would come to that. "No."

"I thought you said you'd pay with your body?" The man said with a mocking smile.

"Only if I had nothing else to pay with," I said. "You won't turn down thirty thousand dollars, will you?"

The man shrugged. "Guess you're right," he said. "Alright then. Time to make good on your promise."

"Just get me to an ATM," I said. "I'll withdraw the money."

"Sure." The man turned and called back in Spanish to his lackeys. Immediately they came forward and grabbed Edward and moved towards a black truck.

"What are you doing?" I demanded, panic driving the pitch of my voice up.

"I need some sort of collateral, don't I?" The man snorted. "You think I'm just going to let you and your boyfriend go driving off into the sunset? Get in your truck and follow if you want to see him again alive, alright?"

It was a good point. "If _anyone_ hurts him—"

"Yeah, yeah," the man said, brushing away my threat with a wave of his hand. "No money. Don't worry. You've made your deal."

At least Edward was walking normally despite being encumbered by two thugs at his sides. He turned back only once to look at me, to let his eyes burn into mine. The blood that trickled down the side of his face left me feeling faint.

"And I'll be taking your cell phone," the man said, extending a hand. I dug my hand into my purse and handed it off to him without hesitation, and he laughed. "You're an obedient one, aren't you?" When I didn't answer, he just laughed again and turned to walk back to his truck.

Sucking in a steadying breath, I turned and made for my truck.

The drive was _excruciating._ Edward doubling over in pain replayed constantly in my mind, and the dimmed windows of the black truck tormented me. I had no idea what was happening to him, what they were doing to him. Rationally I believed that he was fine, but emotionally I was a complete wreck.

After a pathetic parking job and nearly tripping over the curb, I finally managed to get to the ATM where the man was lounging with Edward at his side.

"Did they hurt you?" The words tumbled from my mouth the moment I was within earshot.

"I'm fine," he said, face unreadable. Ignoring the assurance, I searched his face for any trace of new injury. His right cheekbone was a fiery red and would no doubt purple soon, and the cut on his head was still bleeding. But otherwise, he _seemed_ as well as before.

Well, if my threat hadn't worked, there was nothing I could do now. I _had_ to pay, or it would only get worse. "Alright, then," I relented, moving towards the ATM. I could feel the man's breath on my neck and arm the entire time.

"…Pleasure doing business with you," the man said, inhaling deeply into the wad of cash. "Let's hope we never have to have any more together."

"Agreed," I said, stepping away slowly from him.

The man cocked his head to the side, a cruel smile on his lips. "Let's hope it never reaches my boss's ears just how much you love that kid, eh? Or you might find somebody a lot less _friendly_ delivering the next message."

 _I'm going to_ kill _Jacob Black._

"We have a lot of things to hope for, then," I said through gritted teeth. "Come on, Edward." I grabbed his wrist and dragged him towards the car. When I stumbled, Edward's other hand shot out and steadied me. "…Thanks," I muttered, relishing the contact no matter how ridiculous the circumstances.

"You're _absurdly_ clumsy," he said as he pulled away, making his way towards the passenger side of the car.

Shoving away my disappointment, I hurried to follow his lead and got into the driver's side, turning on the engine and feeling some of my nerves subside at the familiar roar.

It was almost like I was in a dream, the way we didn't say anything for at least three, four minutes as I drove aimlessly. We should be talking each other's ears off, full of reprimands and explanations, but somehow it felt more like we were going for an afternoon drive, not barely escaping with our lives from a horribly dangerous situation.

And then he spoke, shattering the illusion. "Why?"

It was a simple question. If only it had a simple answer. "I would ask you the same thing," I said, forcing my voice into something with a semblance of an edge. "What were you doing on such a poorly lit street with no car in the middle of Port Angelus?"

"I was looking for a music store," Edward said with an irritable sigh. "Alice wasn't feeling well, so she went home before me. I was going to call a taxi."

"That's stupid," I said icily.

"You know what _I_ think is stupid?" Edward snapped acidly. "Putting yourself between me and someone paid to beat the crap out of me!"

I glared at the road ahead of me. "It doesn't even matter, Edward. We both know that I deserve whatever he would have done to me."

"No, and _that_ is _precisely_ where you're wrong, Isabella Swan!" Edward slammed his fist on the armrest, and I found myself withering under the passion of his fury. "You _wouldn't_ have. Because _nobody_ deserves it! _No one._ "

"Well, I didn't let him rape me in the end, did I?" I said. It was horribly feeble, and I knew it.

"Oh, well, _good job_ , Bella," Edward snorted sarcastically. "You didn't concede to _all_ of his demands!"

Struggling to speak around the lump in my throat, I whispered, "…I'm sorry that I couldn't stop him from hurting you."

The silence in the car was nearly deafening except for the roar of my car's engine, and I was immensely grateful for it as it covered up my pathetic sniffle.

"You had _no_ control over what he did," Edward finally said quietly. "And seeing as you wasted thirty thousand dollars on my safety, I think it's safe to say that you did your best anyway."

Wiping at a stray tear, I snorted. "Wasted?"

"It was an excessive amount," Edward said, and out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw him shake his head. "He would have been fine with much less."

"I didn't want him to be _fine_ with it," I said as a familiar restaurant logo caught my eye. "I wanted him to be on his best behavior."

"So you _tripled_ his asking price?" Edward asked incredulously. "Just how out of touch are you with the world? Thirty thousand is a _lot_ of money, even for Charlie Swan, I'm sure!"

I wasn't out of touch at all, actually. It just so happened that I would have given the man anything for Edward. "Honestly, Edward? Money and wealth disgusts me. I should be thanking you for giving me an excuse to get rid of it."

"Somehow I doubt your father has a similar philosophy," Edward said dryly.

"Charlie will be _fine_ ," I said tautly. "He'll probably be relieved that I spent some actual money."

"What are you doing?"

I turned off the engine and pulled the key from the ignition, the silence deafening in the car as I considered my answer. "Seeing as it's _my_ crazy ex-boyfriend who tried to almost kill you," I began slowly, "I think it's only fair that I give you a ride home. First, though, I need to eat. And this restaurant is a favorite of mine. You are welcome to join me."

"The first thing you want to do after a life threatening experience is _eat?_ " Edward demanded disbelievingly.

I bit back a smile. This human Edward understood me so much better than his vampire counterpart. "No. First I want to take care of that blood." I reached across him and punched open the glove compartment. As I dug around for the napkins I knew were in there, a delicious scent hit my nose. His cologne.

I reluctantly pulled away from him and avoided his eyes, hoping my face didn't give away my feelings. "Here," I said, handing it to him.

"I thought you fainted at the sight of blood," Edward said, taking the napkins from my hand.

"I've had other things on my mind," I said, trying to focus on the scent of his cologne and not the blood.

"That's awfully convenient," Edward scoffed.

"Yup," I said. "Now you know the secret. Next time somebody bleeds, have somebody pull out a knife and come at me or you. My head will clear up really fast."

"You call _that_ your head 'clearing up'?" Edward snorted.

"Well, I didn't just stand there gaping like an idiot, did I?" I said as I opened up the car door. My newfound imperviousness to blood was wearing off with the prolonged discussion of it.

"Well, you weren't _gaping_ ," Edward said. "I wouldn't say you weren't an idiot, though."

I rolled my eyes. "A simple _thank you_ would suffice," I said before slamming the car door behind me.

Edward met me at the front of the car, and the expression on his face stopped me. Cautious, thoughtful.

Honestly, it's what he looks like before he kisses me.

 _Stupid, Bella. Stupid. Don't think about that._ A precaution for my sanity's sake, of course. Not a real reflection of true desires.

"…Thank you, Izzy," he said quietly, and the look of caution made sense. "It was _totally_ unnecessary, and you put yourself in harms way for no reason. I can't understand why. But thank you."

I rolled my eyes at the qualifications. _Right. I should have looked the other way and carted you off to the hospital when they were done._ "You're welcome," I said, pointedly withholding feedback in the name of _being polite._ I turned towards _La Bella Italia_ , and the familiar urged a smile to my lips. "And by the way, it's Bella."

Edward sighed beside me and moved forward to open the door for me. _What a contrast to Sharon's dinner party._ Trying not to betray my surprise, I hurried through the proffered door. "You're going to insist on that new name, then?"

 _Well, seeing as I'm_ not _Izzy…_ "Sorry," I said. "But yes."

"Fine, then. Bella," Edward tested, and I suddenly wanted to laugh at the irony. The first time around, Edward had been the _only_ one I hadn't had to explain about my name. Now he was probably the last in Forks to yield to it.

"Thank you," I said as I strolled up to the reception desk. "Table for two."

"Somewhere private," Edward interjected, coming up behind me.

The girl at the desk eyed us as if we were quite strange, which I thought was a _vast_ improvement over the blatant flirting I watched the first time around, but nodded her head and grabbed two menus. "Sure, sure," she muttered.

 _At least I didn't have to bribe her_ , I thought as she seated us in a secluded corner of the restaurant. _I'm not sure I have any cash left._

Edward pulled out a chair and looked at me expectantly, and so I could only assume it was for me. Fighting to keep a straight face, I slipped into it. He would never know how euphoric that common courtesy made me feel.

"This is different," I said, eyes on him as he walked around the table and settled down in the seat across from me.

"You didn't seem terribly impressed with my thank you earlier," Edward drawled. "I figured this was my only other avenue of expressing gratitude."

"It's going over much better," I said with an approving smile. "Significantly less 'you're an idiot' digs to ignore."

Edward snorted, but then his face grew serious. "It is...unexpectedly hard to say thank you to you."

I couldn't hold his eyes at that. "...Look, really, I just wanted you to stop yelling at me. We both know you don't owe me a thank you at all, so don't worry about it."

When I peeked at Edward, his eyes were burning into mine. "It's true. You didn't make up for anything," Edward said quietly. _Ouch._ "But the concern, no, _panic_ in your voice was real. You were genuine in your concern for me, and for that, I thank you. It was totally unnecessary, but I thank you all the same."

"I wish you'd stop saying it was unnecessary," I said, glad he'd given me something else to respond to. My feelings for him were not appropriate to discuss just yet. "Looking the other way until it's time to get you to a hospital wasn't an option."

"Bella, do you _really_ need me to explain just what and why what you did was stupid?" Edward said, shaking his head.

What he didn't realize is that I'd just done for him what he'd done for me in what felt like another life a million times over. And I hadn't even been very good at it, so frankly he should be reprimanding my performance, not my participation. But, again, discussions like that weren't possible at this point. "You were going to a music store?"

Edward rolled his eyes to let me know that my clumsy subject change didn't get past him, but he answered the prompting anyway. "Yes. I thought I'd take a look at new sheet music, mess around on the store pianos."

The image of Edward browsing through sheet music and gracing the walls of a family run music store left a trail of longing in my mind. I wish I could see him like that, without a care but to create something ephemeral but beautiful and gratifying.

Truth is, I miss doing the little nothings with him. It felt like _eons_ since I sat at Edward's side and listened to him play. It seems like we always had better things to do, more important things to talk about.

I would give anything to go back.

"What does that expression mean?"

I started and met Edward's eyes, and the familiar phrase tugged at my heartstrings. _That's funny. He sounds a bit too much like_ my _Edward…_ "Nothing. I was just thinking I'd like to see you play."

Instant withdrawal, and inwardly I cursed Izzy. No doubt she was the gulf between us as usual. "Suddenly regretting breaking the piano before I could perform at the talent show freshman year?" Edward drawled.

 _She did that?_ Actually, I'm not sure why I was surprised. This should be old hat, her cruelty. "Do you even have to ask?"

Edward eyed me for a second, inspecting my expression, and then he shook his head. "You are utterly incomprehensible, Bella."

I was saved from answering by a cheerful, "Hey, guys! My name is Jerry, and I'll be serving you tonight! How about we start with some drinks?"

Edward glanced at me, but quickly said, "A diet coke for me."

 _Huh. Who would have thought we'd get the same thing whether he was human or vampire?_ "The same for me," I said, biting the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling at what he'd ordered.

"Sure!" He said, grinning pleasantly. Inwardly, I sighed in relief. This guy was _significantly_ less irritating than his female, flirty counterpart. I didn't think my self esteem would be able to sustain a blow like that tonight. This Edward and I had an entire history of studied malice and horrific pain to overcome _on top_ of our natural incompatibility.

"So, any recommendations?" Edward said, his eyes on me even as he flipped the menu open.

"The mushroom ravioli is good," I said, keeping mine shut. I hadn't looked at it the first time around, and I wouldn't break that streak this time.

Edward nodded, shutting his decidedly. "Sounds good." His focus cracked as he grimaced, tugging at the collar of his button down. "Actually, I hate mushrooms. I'll just give mine to you."

It was so _childish_ and cute that I couldn't stop myself from smiling. This side, his petty taste preferences, had been almost entirely off limits. Whenever he discussed it as a vampire, it was always in equal measure paired with maddening caution and disclaimers. "You could just ask them to leave them out," I suggested.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Please, Bella. You've bought my safety with thirty thousand dollars. The _least_ I can do is give you my mushrooms. Unless you…what? What is it?"

"No, it's just…" I began to wring my hands together, my brow furrowing. "I _completely_ forgot that we have to report him."

Understanding dawned, and he nodded slowly.

Panic began to set in as I contemplated our situation. "I mean, I just gave thirty thousand dollars to a hardened criminal. Who knows what he'll do with some extra cash?" I began to feel ill as horror stories that I'd heard from Charlie when he preached to me about the dangers of big cities came to mind.

"…Don't worry about it tonight," Edward said slowly and with a gentleness that surprised me. "The police wouldn't do much to investigate it at this time of the night anyway. They'll just pick it up tomorrow. Even the police need to sleep."

It was a good point and negated most of my guilty panic. He was probably right. "But that means I'll just have to drive up here tomorrow to come report it," I said, knotting my fingers now.

I could just _see_ the gears in his mind working as he ran through the situation and possible solutions in his mind. "Well, we were already going to meet for the project," he said slowly. "How about I bring my laptop, you drive, and we work on it on the way up? Then we can report him together."

 _Which means I get to spend more time with you._ "Sounds good," I agreed. "…But, seriously? You're going to let me drive?"

He eyed me warily. "Why? Are you a poor driver? I thought earlier you were just upset about the situation, but if that's how you _normally_ drive…Kidding," he said hastily when he saw my darkening expression. "You're a fairly decent driver, even after a crisis. Though admittedly your choice of vehicle is another matter altogether. Tell me, where did you find such a truly hideous specimen?"

I rolled my eyes as Jerry set down drinks in front of us. "You leave my truck alone. It has _character_."

"Sorry to interrupt, but do we know what we want to order tonight?" Jerry asked.

"Two mushroom raviolis," Edward said quickly, before eying me. "Right?"

Having Edward order for me left me with mixed feelings. On one hand, it reminded me of my own experience of ordering for my mother in restaurants, usually because she couldn't be trusted to pronounce something correctly on the menu or because she was too flirty with the waiter or, one notable time, because she had to run down and put out a fire that started in our car (not that she'd told me that until well after the fact). But when Phil had courted her, that responsibility had been relegated to him, and his ordering for me had been something of a sign of respect.

I wasn't quite sure what he meant by it now. Was I a troublesome child? Or was this a sign of respect like holding the door open for me?

Actually, anything was preferable to his typical, pointed rudeness. I'd take it. "Right," I said, offering him a weak smile. I was willing to bet it was more of the latter.

The moment Jerry walked away, Edward leaned forward and immediately resumed the conversation. "Since when did 'character' become more important than the price tag?"

I stalled. "How do you know it's not expensive?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "Please don't insult me, Bella. It's a monstrosity."

"So was the car I had before!" I shuddered. "Besides, my truck is pretty much perfect."

"Oh, _is_ it now?" Edward said with a patronizing smile.

"It is," I said, narrowing my eyes at him. "It _suits_ me. In fact, it's practically me in car form."

At that, Edward surprised us both by laughing out loud in shock. "…I'm sorry, but did Isabella Swan just identify herself as a hilariously ancient, noisy, _hideous_ truck that has almost no monetary value?"

"Noisy and old I'll grant you, but it's _hardly_ hideous!" I pressed, shaking my head. "And I was referring to its general awkwardness, actually. It doesn't fit in, but when push comes to shove, in a car crash, _my_ truck is the one walking away without even a scratch on the paint."

"Ancient, noisy, ugly, and now awkward," Edward drawled, leaning his head on his head. "The adjectives you'd use to describe yourself are surprising, to say the least."

I rolled my eyes heavenward. "I can't help it you think I'm noisy and ugly, Edward. But I assure you awkward and unique are the only words that come to my mind."

"Please tell me you haven't abandoned your tendency towards the mainstream in favor of 'I'm weird and like it~'," Edward deadpanned, massaging his temples tiredly.

I sighed. "I assure you, I am perfectly, _maddeningly_ average."

Edward shook his head. "I can't say I agree with you, but I'm relieved to hear that you at least _think_ so. Average people think they have less to prove which sometimes works to their detriment but as a whole makes them _significantly_ less annoying."

"Eloquently summed up," I said, nodding approvingly.

Edward leaned back in his chair, shaking his head. "Bella Swan, _where_ did you come from, and _where_ have you been hiding? I wasn't aware you knew what 'eloquent' even meant!"

Well, _crap._ Somehow I doubt Edward will buy that she binge read for a week and relearned the entire English language.

To avoid yet _another_ answer that I had no idea how to deliver, I grabbed a breadstick and began to munch on it, shrugging.

Edward shook his head and sighed, leaning his head on his hand again and taking a breadstick as well.

"Do you have a headache?" I blurted out.

Edward blinked, breadstick freezing halfway towards his mouth. He shrugged. "Sure. I get migraines all the time."

Of _course_ even as a human he'd be tormented by constant physical pain. "I'm sorry," I blinked. "Do you have pain medicine? I…I think I have ibuprofen in my purse," I said, reaching for my purse.

"Don't bother," Edward said, waving a hand dismissively. "It's not worth it. It's not that bad today."

"That's stupid. You've been through a life threatening ordeal, and you got punched in the face," I said, finding the bottle. "You _deserve_ it, alright?"

Edward chuckled, and I was relieved to hear the sound, even if it was bitter sounding. Better than a sarcastic snort. "You're significantly more compassionate than I was when Jacob assaulted _you_."

"He barely did anything," I dismissed immediately. I'd faced James. Jacob Black was _nothing_. "And I didn't have a migraine afterwards."

Edward quietly accepted the ibuprofen I handed him and swallowed it with a practiced air before shaking his head. "…No, but it's… _bothered_ me," he admitted quietly with his eyes on the table before looking up and holding my eyes, his sincerity melting me. "You wanted to cry, didn't you? You probably needed to, but you stuffed it down because of me, right?"

I could only laugh, stunned. "Edward, are you _crazy?_ You _saved_ me even though you _loath_ me. It would have been more than I deserved if you and Alice had just looked the other way and went to class. The fact that you helped at all is absolutely astonishing to me."

"Bella, I don't think you understand," Edward said with another bitter sounding laugh. "I don't _want_ to feel guilty for how I treat you. I want to wash my hands clean of you, I want to fling every derogatory comment my mind can construct when you give me an opportunity, and more than wanting to be petty, I want _revenge_. But I..." His eyes fell shut. "It's difficult," he finished quietly.

For approximately two seconds, I stared at him and played his words through my mind on repeat, examining every word and its meaning.

And then it sunk in.

 _I knew it!_ I exclaimed triumphantly, joy bubbling up over the pain, guilty, and confusion. _Edward is_ too good _to be tainted by this forever. He's healing._

"Especially since this bizarre…personality flip of yours," Edward continued, gesturing his hand vaguely at me, and I suppose it was a valid gesture. _Everything_ about Isabella Swan had changed. "You are remarkably difficult to be cruel to, Bella."

"Well…" I blinked, trying not to let my exultation shine through, "you're probably the only one who thinks so."

"I told you I was disgusted with the majority of Forks High with good reason," Edward snorted. "Just ignore them. They're useless."

The conviction he possessed that a couple hundred kids were entirely useless was too absurd, and I began to laugh. After half a second, he cracked a wry smile as well.

But then his expression darkened. "But…it's still difficult. Because I know what you've done, what you're capable of. And as difficult as it is to hate you, I can't…I _can't_ forgive you."

That admittance on his part hung in the air between us, and with him earnestly staring into my eyes, I felt some pressure to say something to free him of whatever absurd guilt he suffered from. "Do whatever you need to heal, to sleep at night," I finally said, voice barely above a whisper. "I don't _care_ what happens between us, Edward. I just…I mean, if hating me to your last breath is how you'll best cope with…what I've done, do it. Just…be happy, Edward."

Edward searched my eyes, and for a moment, I was sure he could see inside of me, right to my soul. And I prayed then that he could see that it was different, that it _wasn't_ Izzy in here who so desperately wished for his happiness. I wanted him to see every part of me, the parts that I couldn't explain with words.

With anyone else, I would have shrunk away, tried to hide. But for him, if I thought he wanted me to, I would lay out everything. I would show him every inch of me, as wanting, incomplete, and expendable as I am. Show him with no hesitation whatsoever.

But then the moment shattered with Jerry setting down steaming plates of pasta in front of us, and Edward's face instinctively twisted at the scent of mushrooms. Swallowing down my emotions split between affection for him versus my piercing disappointment that whatever he saw may not have been enough, I laughed at the expression.

"Thank you," Edward said quickly to Jerry, and he immediately began methodically separate the mushrooms from the ravioli. "It smells awful," he muttered.

"You should have ordered something different," I said.

"Well, you thoroughly distracted me by panicking over turning in Jake's thugs," Edward said, eyes on his plate. After a second's hesitation, I followed suit and began to work on my own ravioli. "Speaking of which, what do you think about meeting after lunch, around one? I'll drive myself to your house, and you can drive us down."

"Wouldn't it be easier for me to come to your house?" I asked, confused before it occurred to me that he was setting a boundary. "Oh. Wait, that sounds fine."

Edward eyed me for a second and sighed. "Honestly, Bella, sometimes you are _so_ transparent."

"And yet incomprehensible?" I felt an unfamiliar smirk on my lips. "Sounds like your people reading abilities are pretty _inconsistent._ "

Edward rolled his eyes. "I wouldn't say _I'm_ the inconsistent one—oh, _good heavens_ , this tastes awful!" Edward gagged.

I stared at him in alarm. "If you hate mushrooms _that much_ , why don't you order something else?"

"You paid _thirty thousand dollars_ for me," Edward said in a resolute growl as he glared down at the offending plate. "The _least_ I can do is consume a dish you recommend!"

I bit my lip as I began to grin at him. "…It bothers you, doesn't it?"

"What, the fact that I am thirty thousand dollars in your debt?" He said, not looking up as began to attempt to scrape the sauce off of the pasta.

"Okay, let's get straight on one thing: you owe me absolutely _nothing_ ," I pronounced firmly. "I am _so far_ in your debt that this doesn't even matter, doesn't mean anything. Money means absolutely _nothing_ to me anyway."

"Alright, then," Edward said in a tone that clearly revealed he didn't agree, and we'd probably revisit this argument several more times. "Then what bothers me?"

"The fact that there is a _food_ that Edward Cullen can't eat," I said, shaking my head disbelievingly. "You can't stand it, so you're using this as an opportunity to overcome it, aren't you?"

Edward sighed. "Bella 1, Edward 0. You're right, infuriatingly enough." He gestured at his plate where a few pieces of pasta had been relatively cleared of the sauce as he said, "Obviously, I'm taking this in baby steps, however."

"Those are important too," I assured him, and he snorted, setting down his utensils to rub at his forehead.

"Thanks for the encouragement," he all but groaned. "I know it's pathetic, so you don't have to patronize me. I _know_."

"I think it's charming," I said with a smile. "I've found _one thing_ Edward Cullen can't do: eat mushrooms without gagging."

"Well, there's a _lot_ more than eating mushrooms that trips me up," Edward said airily, "but I have to admit not much. Aptly stated."

I rolled my eyes but smiled again as he began to transfer his mushrooms (and most of his sauce) onto my plate. "You know, I didn't ever say that I particularly loved mushrooms. I just said I enjoyed them in a _dish_ I like."

"You're fine," he dismissed without hesitation, not even sparing me a glance. "Waste not, want not." He finally looked at me. "Are you going to try your own? I'm curious to see if it truly can be consumed by human beings."

I smirked and forked a mushroom, enjoying watching him cringe in sympathy as it neared my mouth. "Mhmm," I hummed as I chewed. "Juicy."

Edward shuddered. "Could you have chosen a more _disgusting_ adjective?"

I laughed out loud around the bite of food. "I think I've officially found your weakness," I said, smiling before it occurred to me that I'd already discovered too many other ones. Or at least, Izzy had. And she'd exploited every one.

Edward was grinning himself until he looked up and noticed my stricken expression. The smile dropped off his face, and he pointedly forced another bite of ravioli in his mouth. "Well? Is the pasta as palatable as the _juicy_ mushrooms?"

Changing the subject. He was _actually_ easing the tension.

"Delicious," I said, trying unsuccessfully to match his lighthearted manner and smile at him.

But I couldn't think of anything else to say, and for a moment we were quiet as we ate. Admittedly I was eating a lot more than he was, but that was because Edward began to eat only the cheese scraped out of the ravioli, abandoning anything touched by the sauce.

Honestly, I should have felt more awkward by the silence, but too many things were competing for my attention now that Edward had released it. Well, most of it was about him anyway, but still more of it was dedicated to other matters weighing on me.

Spending who knows how long with Edward tomorrow. How I'm going to get through to Alice. Sharon and Charlie. What Charlie is eating tonight, how I'm going to explain spending thirty thousand dollars without Charlie flying off the handle at Billy… _Oh, that's a good one. How much can I trust Billy anyway?_

He'd seemed sincere enough in the principal's office, but what did I know? Almost nothing, as usual.

"So, how are we splitting the bill tonight?" Jerry said, interrupting my thoughts.

"One bill," I said, thinking I'd pay for him.

"Two will be fine, thank you," Edward said with a smile at Jerry, and the awkward smile that froze on Jerry's face made me want to face palm myself. Like I'd for a _second_ thought Edward would pay for me!

He was setting another boundary. Which is fine, really. If Edward spent as much money on me as I'd spent on him, I probably wouldn't want him to pay for my meal either.

"Two will be fine," I said with a sigh.

"…Sure," Jerry said, smiling what looked to be a bit _too_ sympathetically at me before hurrying away.

Not wanting to discuss just how awkward that interaction was, I said quickly, "So why do you hate mushrooms?"

Thankfully Edward played along. "Oh, a dare in sixth grade," Edward said dismissively. "Emmett dared me to consume an entire container of mushrooms. I got violently ill that night, and the rest is history. I cannot _stand_ them."

 _So odd. Where is Jasper?_ Swallowing the question I knew I could never ask, I instead asked quietly, "How are they doing?"

Edward's face became guarded and cool, and he shrugged vaguely. "Well, all things considered."

 _Idiot!_ Of _course_ he wouldn't want to tell me! It wasn't his job to ease Izzy's guilt or play best friends with Bella. For a solid five seconds I searched for something to say to alleviate the awkwardness, and all I could settle on was a weak, apology. "…Sorry."

Edward sighed, eyes fluttering shut as he frowned. "Sorry, it's not you. It's the migraine."

 _The migraine that he took a pill for over thirty minutes ago?_ Not likely.

Edward lying is almost worse than Edward being honest. "Want another pill?" I asked, trying to keep my voice as neutral as possible.

He sighed and shook his head. "No amount of painkillers will stop this headache. I'll need to talk to my Dad and figure out how badly I hit my head."

… _Or maybe he was being honest._ "Are you experiencing any dizziness, or nausea…ringing in the ears?" He obviously hadn't been vomiting or slurring his speech, so he _probably_ didn't have a concussion…

His eyes popped open as he regarded me with some amusement. "You're testing me for a concussion?"

"Well, do you have one?" I asked. Jerry came and set my bill in front of me, and I began to fish out my wallet.

"…No, probably not," Edward said. "That reminds me. The other day when you were dealing with the nurse, you acted like that wasn't your first time banging your head hard."

"It wasn't," I said with a shrug. "Clumsy."

"Isabella Swan is _not_ clumsy," Edward protested, shaking his head. "I don't think I recall you ever even skinning your knee back in middle school. Of course, you came to school with bruises later, but I think we _both_ know where those really came from."

"Perhaps when I developed a conscience, the guilt wrecked my balance as well," I theorized, and I laughed at his expression. "Kidding. That's crap…obviously."

"So you acknowledge that it happened suddenly?" Edward said, perking up.

I sighed. Obviously telling Edward I wasn't Izzy wasn't an option, and I really wished he wouldn't bring that up tonight. "Sure," I said. "Why?"

Edward was silent at that, and his eyes dropped thoughtfully to the table as he sipped his water. I thought he'd dropped it until he murmured, "Well, I have a few theories as to why that is, of course."

I would have laughed except it occurred to me that Edward's theories would probably be significantly closer to the truth than mine had been. Especially since it was _me_ keeping the secret. He didn't have a Jacob Black to spell it out, but then he probably didn't need him since he had me, the open book, to read.

"You probably won't be close," I bluffed finally, not even sparing Jerry a glance as he whisked my bill away.

"I'm not so fragile that I can't handle being wrong," Edward said dryly, and I laughed. "Well? Are you prepared?"

 _He said that it's difficult to be cruel to me. He said that he can't get revenge on me._

 _But he could also be lying._

As much as I loved Edward and as much as I liked to think I could read him, there were some things that I wanted to believe in badly enough to look past any red flags. And after being deprived of his kindness for _so long_ , I was fairly certain in retrospect that I'd believe anything he said tonight, no complaints or questions asked.

And the sad truth is that the last thirty, forty minutes could have been a lie carefully crafted with the sole purpose of gaining my trust for this next discussion. Most of me _really_ didn't think that was a case, but there was a possibility that he was just trying to find out if I was insane or not.

…I could tell him no, I didn't want to talk about this. But it was only a temporary wall that would eventually have to crumble. If what he wanted was revenge, a simple, "No thank you, please," would not stand long in his way. We would always return to this because this is the foundational truth that separates us.

And I could tell him yes and risk playing right into his hands. Perhaps every pleasant smile was only masking churning disgust and burning resentment. And if that was the case, these theories, which may or may not be close to the truth, might be the undoing of Izzy's life here.

And for the first time, another thought occurred to me on this issue. _But what would Charlie do? Sit around and watch passively as his daughter gets carted off to a mental institution? And in this modern day and age, it's not as if anyone will drag me there against my will._

 _His only option would be to denounce me publically, hoping to damage a future I don't have or relationships I don't value. It would be little more than what anyone else in Forks could do._

Edward actually held no power over me, then.

I guess I knew that somewhere deep down all along. The real issue is that I don't _want_ him to want to hurt me. I don't want him to use my love for him as a weapon against myself, even if it will fail.

If…tonight turns out to be a wonderfully played charade, just Edward capitalizing on an opportunity (I'd offered him a reason to trust me on a silver platter, allowing his character to evolve from enmity to shaky friendship in a single night)…

It would be devastating.

 _So it boils down to this,_ I thought as I bit my lip. I knew I was taking too long to answer, but the question begged some consideration on my part.

Do I trust him? After everything that I've learned about the person sitting before me, did I dare take that chance? Was I _stupid_ enough to think that I possibly could? Or, worse, was I foolish enough to think it didn't matter?

Honestly, I leaned more towards the latter. Part of my heart, or rather _all_ of it, longed to tell him everything and to trust him as I'd been able to just a few moments earlier. But my mind was screaming at me to wait, to _think_ about what I was doing before I let him stab my heart exactly where it would hurt the most.

 _I said that I'd get him and Alice and the rest of the Cullens back,_ I thought nervously. _But is this the right way? Does he need more time, or—_

 _For heavens sake, Bella! Just answer him! They're just_ theories _!_

"Not really," I said finally. "But I'll listen anyway."

Edward smiled a half smile at me. My long pause had not escaped him. "In the car, then," he said, fishing his debit card from his bill. After a second's hesitation, I followed suit.

We walked side by side to the car silently until I almost tripped and fell on my face as we were walking out the door, and a surprised laugh escaped Edward's lips. "You really are horribly clumsy, Bella," Edward said as I steadied myself on the door frame.

"If you had any theories about _that_ , I'd like to hear _those_ ," I muttered as I unlocked my truck door.

I hadn't thought he heard me, but he said as soon as he opened the passenger side door, "You don't seem excited to hear my theories."

"I'm just not sure what you'll do if you're right," I said quietly before jamming my key in the ignition and letting the car roar to life. The white noise was comforting as opposed to anticipating Edward's answer in suffocating quiet.

"Fair enough," he said over the engine.

Since that's all he said in response, I figured the game was still on. So I sighed and said, "What's your first theory?"

A pause in which I found it difficult to breathe. "You have secretly been capable of intelligent thought your entire life, and this has all been an elaborate hoax," Edward said finally. I only snorted, and I thought I heard him chuckle. "Yes, I don't think it's very likely either. The other theory is that you snapped, and Izzy was displaced by Bella, an alternate personality." He paused to let me react, but I only kept my eyes on the road, nervously awaiting his commentary. "But as far as I know after research, psychologically speaking, it doesn't quite work like that."

"No," I said quietly. "It doesn't."

"But I keep going back to what you said," Edward said. "You asked me when I was going to put the pieces together that you're not Izzy, remember?"

I groaned. "One of my more stupid outbursts."

"Not even close," Edward said dismissively. "…Or not, depending on my next theory."

Dread coiled in my stomach like a snake ready to strike into full on terror any second, and I exhaled a shaky breath. "And that is?"

"You are not Izzy at all…but an alien."

It was said so seriously that for half a second I only sat there staring at the road in shock before it hit me, and I began to laugh. " _What?_ "

Edward sighed impatiently which I could only just hear over my car and my chuckles. "Well, obviously it's just a _theory_. That doesn't mean I actually _believe_ it, so you can quit laughing."

"Sorry," I said, smothering my mirth as best as I could. "I just…was _not_ expecting that."

"I can tell," he said dryly. "Well? Were any of them close?"

After deliberating, I nodded slowly.

"You're not going to tell me which one?" Edward pressed. "Judging by your reactions, I would think the second one."

 _Do I trust him?_ "How important is it that you know, Edward?" I asked, gripping the wheel tightly.

A long pause ensued, and I wondered if Edward was weighing his own options in the silence. Finally, he said quietly, firmly, "I want to know."

 _Do I trust him?_ "I…"

 _Does it matter?_

"The third theory," I said, just loud enough to be heard over the car. "Sort of. Not really. I'm Isabella Swan. But I'm not Izzy."

"I'm…not sure what you mean by that," Edward said cautiously.

"My name is Bella Swan. I moved to Forks when I was seventeen years old," I said quietly, heart racing. "My dad is Charlie Swan. He's the police chief at the Forks police department. My mother is Renee, and she's a kindergarten teacher. I—"

"Wait a minute, Bella," Edward interrupted. "I don't understand. What are you saying?"

I shook my head in answer. What _was_ I saying? Had I gone _completely_ insane? _It's the "I'm not Izzy" incident all over again._ "I…"

"Pull over, Bella," Edward said quietly, and terror jumpstarted my heart although logically I knew there weren't significant consequences to Edward thinking I was crazy…although it _now_ occurs to me that the social stigma for mental illness is significantly worse than that of the town whore.

 _Mike would have a field day with this,_ I thought, nearly hysterical as I turned the car into a gas station on the outskirts of the city.

"Turn off the car," he commanded in the gentle voice of one dealing with a wild animal. Numbly I complied and waited for his next order. "Now look at me." _He wants to see if I'm lying._ I knew it as instinctively as I knew the reasons for my own actions.

Slowly I twisted to look at him, almost too afraid to hold his eyes.

He was beautiful, even human. He still daze me with a smile, could still charm me with his words. And to lose this, to lose him, will be just as devastating here before he ever said "I love you" as it would have been otherwise.

 _I can't do this,_ I realized as I wrapped my arms around my middle, attempting to hold myself together through the panic. _I_ don't _trust him. Not to keep from hurting me._

"What were you saying?" He asked, searching my eyes.

"I..." I tried to say more, but no sound came out.

 _I can't do this._

Blindly my hand fumbled with the lock of the car door, and I slammed the car door open and stumbled off of my seat into the night drizzle, leaning against the car for support as I waited for my world to stop spinning.

 _Stupid. You'll look insane enough without hyperventilating._ As usual, the dry inner commentary did little except make me feel just a tiny bit worse, something I _really_ didn't need at the moment.

"Bella?" Edward was soon in front of me, looking so utterly concerned that I wanted to smile. I didn't.

"Sorry," I said, forcing myself to take in a single, deep inhale. "…I got scared. I'm sorry. I must look crazy. I'm sorry. I…I'll shut up now."

"The very _least_ of your problems is talking too much at the moment," Edward assured me with a snort. "…Are you alright?"

"Yes," I whispered, eyes focused unseeingly on the road. I didn't know if I was lying or not.

"Why don't I drive?" Edward said, extending his hand towards me presumably for my keys. "You don't look too good."

I buried the keys in my pocket stubbornly, regaining some of my senses if only to raise my hackles. "No, I'm fine." _Shove it in a box. If you can't handle it, just don't think about it._ "You can get back in the car."

"You're doing it again, aren't you?" Edward said, eyes probing mine.

Just this once, I didn't want him to see anything. I didn't want to bare my soul because apparently it _did_ matter if I trusted him. And I didn't. I never could. "I don't know what you're talking about." With that I turned away and got back into the car, mechanically putting on my seatbelt and turning on the car. After a short eternity, Edward got back into the passenger side. I tried not to think about him barreling out of the car and running to my side to see if he could figure what on earth was wrong with the crazy girl _this_ time.

Mercifully it was quiet for a moment as I turned back onto the highway leading back to Forks. I counted the seconds that ticked by, and the seconds turned into minutes. Finally, he said quietly, "If there's anything you _want_ to tell me, Bella, I'll listen. And I won't judge you until I've heard it all."

Struggling to keep a lid on my insanity, I shrugged as I drove. "I can't…prove anything," I said, growing frustrated with my inability to find the right words. "Even if you heard it all…I'm not sure it would make a difference, Edward. It's no less bizarre at the end than it is at the beginning."

A pause.

"Do _you_ think you're crazy, Bella?" Edward asked.

Immediately, I shook my head. "No. I'm not."

"Then that's good enough for now," Edward said quietly. "So, please explain to me how you moved to Forks when you were seventeen."

"It doesn't matter," I said, shaking my head. "All I meant to explain is that…I, as Bella, have lived a different life. And then I woke up one morning, and…" Was I really just going to say it?

"Yes?" Edward prompted.

"I was in a house, a mansion, that I didn't recognize. Jacob Black was in my bed, but he acted like a completely different person from the Jacob I knew. I have no idea where my mom is, Charlie is somehow a millionaire, and I'm failing all my classes. And suddenly, I'm responsible for hurting some of the people that I love _most_ in this world in the most humiliating, horrible ways conceivable." Tears of frustration were leaking down my cheeks, and I squeezed the wheel as hard as I could to keep control over my voice and the road. "Crap," I muttered as I jerked the car into the shoulder of the highway. I couldn't exactly see where I was going if I was going to cry, now could I?

It was quiet as I rubbed furiously at my eyes, trying to find something that could cut through the tension in the car or assuage my own mortification at having to pull over because I was crying. _Stop, tear ducts,_ I begged internally. _Just_ stop _!_

It was useless. This was my _finest_ moment of insanity, and I wilted onto the steering wheel miserably, sniffling all the while.

"I am very confused," Edward said after a moment. Even though he sounded terribly awkward, I couldn't quite laugh.

"I'm acting crazy," I whispered, not even really responding so much as explaining.

"Bella…" He sounded pained, and I felt my eyes flutter shut in defeat. _Please,_ anything _but that tone. Let him feel anything but sorry for me._

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt his hand burn into my skin and tug me towards him. Scooting closer, he wrapped his arms firmly around me in such a way that I knew he must have been in this position more than once. And that made me think of Rosalie and Alice, and that made me want to cry rather pathetically. As it was, I began to desperately try to lock away the emotions as I'd done twice before. _I have to get a grip._

"You need to _stop_ thinking about me," he whispered roughly into my hair. "If you need to cry, just _cry._ I won't think less of you."

And that was because I was already hitting rock bottom. There wasn't really a way to go lower in his eyes, was there?

It had no logic to it, this pain that was tearing apart my chest. All I could feel was the distance between our hearts and the lack of it between our physical ones. And my fingers inevitably clawed into his shirt, dragging him closer because I knew this moment would not last long.

And that thought brought the tears, and I began to sob brokenly into his shoulder. Every time I wanted to sink into the floor because of some trap Izzy had laid for me, every time I kept a straight face when someone treated me like dirt, every time Edward looked at me like I meant nothing…they all flooded back to me, and I just _cried_.

Not because I trusted Edward, but because I was too weak to stop the tears. Knowing full well that this embrace meant _so much more_ to me than it ever would be to him, I clung to him all the more. Even as I loathed my weakness, I bore it to him.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to earn his love, his trust, tell my story, and _then_ admit to this gaping wound, this weakness (it was so _stupid_ of me to get hurt by things I couldn't control. I'd been trying to be strong, hadn't I? Hadn't I promised myself?). Instead I'd skipped it all entirely and depended now upon a kindness I did not deserve or trust.

But he felt so real and _familiar_ in my arms that it was nearly impossible to even contemplate pulling away. The arms around me were _his_ , and the neck I'd buried my face in was hauntingly familiar. He'd held me like this a thousand times before whether he realized it or not.

He _wasn't_ a stranger, not to me. But he just would _never_ understand that.

As my sobs turned to hiccups and whimpers, Edward spoke, enunciating slowly and clearly. "You are _not_ going to apologize for this."

"I…" _I'm so sorry._

"Don't," Edward commanded, rubbing a hand up and down my back. "Just don't, Bella."

I bit back another sob and hiccupped miserably into his chest. "I swear," I whispered in between hiccups, "if I didn't…f-feel so…pathetic I could…stop _crying_ …"

"Well, you're not pathetic," Edward said sharply.

I laughed bitterly. "Of _c-course_ I am."

Edward smoothed the hair on the back of my head, sighing into my shoulder. "Is it such a sin to be weak?"

 _It is when you bare that weakness to someone who hates you._

It occurred to me that more than my frustration and pain at suddenly having to pick up Izzy's life, which should feel better after a nice crying session, I was actually just crying because he didn't love me like I loved him.

 _If he knew…_ I moaned miserably, unable to laugh at myself just yet. _If he knew, what a joke he'd think this was…_

"So you're really not Izzy," Edward stated, rubbing my back continuously. "You don't have any of her memories."

 _Great. We're not done with this._ "Can't you just call me crazy and leave it alone?"

"No. For one thing, you still have to drive me home, and I'm afraid I'll have to walk home if I say that." He paused. "…That was sort of a joke, but one in poor taste. Sorry. And also, seeing as after all that crying you _still_ don't seem to feel better, you must need to talk about it."

"What do you care, Edward?" I whispered, voice trembling.

"I don't know," he whispered back, and the honesty of his voice nearly broke me. "But I can't seem not to."

Warmth melted some of the ice that had been choking my heart, and I felt my hands loosen their death grip on his shirt a bit. I held onto his words, replaying them. _But I can't seem not to. But I can't seem not to care. Can't seem not to._

"Were you lying tonight?" I whispered. "When you were being kind…were you lying? Did you just want to talk about your theories?" My emotions were too jumbled for me to care at how odd it was for me to ask him that _now_ of all times.

"No," he said, smoothing my hair again. "I wasn't lying."

Some of the pain dispersed, and I nodded into his shoulder slowly. "Then that's enough."

For a long moment, I memorized the feel of his arms around me, his hand tracing a heavenly pattern into my back. These sensations would probably never be mine again, so I needed to treasure every second.

But I had to let him go.

Slowly I pulled away, wiping at my face and running my hands through my hair, trying to feel somewhat human again. Everything felt damp, and my eyes felt swollen. Great.

"Do you remember what Izzy's done?" Edward asked after a long moment of nothing.

Back to business, then. Slowly, I shook my head. "Absolutely nothing. Honestly…it's like I've been transported into an alternate universe. Everything is _completely_ different from what it should be."

"Like what?" Edward asked, and the curiosity in his voice was unmistakable. It didn't mean much, though. Edward would be just as curious about my delusions as he would be about a legitimate alternate universe.

"Besides being poor and new to Forks, Jake was just a kid on the reservation. He was a sweet kid, and I admit to…flirting once, just once, but we were nothing even _close_ to being romantic." I was stalling, and I knew it.

"I see," he said in a hushed voice.

After a horrible silence, I finally continued. "And you. You were different." He waited for me to continue, and I sighed. "You, Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie were adopted siblings. And we…you and I, that is…"

"Yes?" He said, and he took my hand in his gently as if he knew what sort of courage that lent me.

 _I don't trust him. "But I can't seem not to."_ The phrases replayed through my mind over and over. " _But I can't seem not to." Can't trust him._

"We were in love," I whispered. It felt like _such_ an understatement. "Alice was my best friend. Rosalie actually sort of hated me, but I think we talked approximately three times. Emmett was funny but had a habit of making me blush which was a bit maddening. Esme was…I don't know how I can _do_ this…" I yanked at my hair. "I'm sorry. This is coming out in exactly the wrong order."

"Go back to us," Edward said quietly, and I winced. That was exactly what I _didn't_ want to discuss with him.

"It made no sense, but you loved me," I said, despair nearly choking my voice. "What more is there to know?"

"Why would it not make sense?" Edward wondered, shaking his head. "You didn't do anything to warrant my hatred, did you?"

That stopped me, and I stared hard at the steering wheel, considering that. "I…no," I whispered. "I didn't."

"Bella, if Izzy had been _half_ of the things you are," Edward said quietly, "I can't imagine a reason in the world for me not to have fallen for her."

Endorphins pierced the haze of depression and pain that hung around me, and I sucked in a deep breath as if breathing for the first time. It wasn't _nearly_ enough, but it was something. And I would hold to those words as I was desperately holding onto the other sweet things he'd said.

"Thank you, but I think that's a bit of a stretch," I whispered, rubbing at my eye with a sigh. "Like I said at the restaurant, I'm painfully ordinary. And you're pretty much absurdly talented and extraordinary regardless of which universe I find you in. Even without you thinking that I'm subhuman and guilty of heinous crimes, it's a miracle you even looked at me." Not that he'd had a choice. I'd made it pretty impossible with my scent.

 _Ugh. How am I ever going to explain that in the alternate universe, he was a vampire?_

Did I doubt that they existed? _Absolutely not._ Did that make my case for being sane significantly shakier? Without a doubt.

"You are compassionate, kind, strong, and selfless," he said quietly. "Just what about that is ordinary?"

I shrugged noncommittally, too tired to admit my insecurities were annoying and unwarranted. "It honestly doesn't matter," I sighed. "…I'm sorry for losing it. I just…"

"You are _not_ going to apologize," Edward said, his hand touching my arm. I felt my eyes flutter shut. Apparently he'd discovered what a positive effect his touch had on me. "After what you've been through walking in Izzy's shoes, you absolutely deserved to cry."

"You believe me?" The question tumbled out before I could consider if I even _wanted_ an answer (which I definitely didn't).

Edward sighed. "Izzy…couldn't have cried like that," he said quietly. "I don't know if you know this or not, but Izzy…had a thing for me."

I gaped at him, utterly distracted from my misery for a moment. " _What?_ " My mind raced through the implications of this. In _none_ of her texts or emails had anything like that even been hinted at. Jake hadn't even known who Edward was when I first mentioned him, _that's_ how far from relevant to Jake's life Edward had been. And all along, Izzy had been pining after _Edward_.

Edward's smile was sardonic. "It seems like the minute we turned fifteen she started throwing herself at me. If you didn't know about it, it makes sense. Nobody really knew but me, my friends, and her. I was her dirty little secret."

"Oh," I whispered, sickened to realize that Izzy and I shared an innate attraction to Edward.

"She used any means she possibly could to get me to be with her, every means but being kind and intelligent. Her favorite past time since high school began has been hurting my friends to pressure me."

Izzy's patterns of abuse suddenly made much more sense, and I rubbed at my temples. "I hate her," I whispered.

"I know the feeling," Edward laughed coldly. "But the point that I wanted to make is that sometimes when she would…beg, she'd start to cry." I watched him scowl at the dashboard. "They were the most _selfish_ tears I've ever seen, and it was in every expression, every sob. She only ever cared about herself, and she didn't care who she had to hurt to get what she wanted. When she tried to cry to me after Rosalie…honestly, I wanted to kill her."

I watched his face carefully, afraid to breathe and have that anger turn on me.

"You didn't cry like that," Edward said slowly, turning towards me again. His eyes grew softer. "In fact, I think you probably wanted to be anywhere _but_ here crying into my arms. There was nothing selfish about it, Bella."

"I beg to differ," I muttered, unable to hold his gaze.

"I always felt disgusted by Izzy's tears as well," Edward said quietly. "But when you started to cry, honestly…it felt like Alice, like Rosalie. And I'm so… _tired_ of watching people I love suffer. You can't be Izzy, Bella." He cleared is throat. "Now, as for you being crazy and just having a split personality…for one thing, spit personalities don't happen like this," he said. "You've been Bella solidly for several weeks now which is not how split personalities work, and I very _much_ doubt Izzy needed to construct another personality to deal with her guilt. I doubt she could even feel the emotion. For another…" He sighed. "Well, obviously, you know too much to be another representation of Izzy's subconscious. You're entirely too well read."

"I…how do you know that?" I blinked, surprised.

"Your vocabulary for one thing," Edward said. "For another, Miss Palmer read an essay of yours to the entire class last week."

" _What_?" Blood rushed to my cheeks as I gaped in horror at Edward.

"Your popularity was at an all time low, and I think she was trying to impress upon us that you had turned over a new leaf, for the better," Edward speculated. "Nevertheless, it was an excellent essay."

"Please talk about something else," I pleaded, rubbing a hand over my face.

"You're too modest, but fine," Edward chuckled. "Anyways, I cannot think of a logical explanation for a split personality of Izzy's to have acquired that much concrete knowledge. And also…I must bow to your genuineness, Bella. Since you first came to school without makeup, you have been utterly consistent in your meekness and honesty except for a few _horribly_ obvious lies."

"So…when I say I'm not Izzy…" I trailed off.

"I believe you," Edward said quietly. "You're Bella."

"So…the things that Izzy has done…" I turned to search his eyes questioningly, hope beginning to work itself through me.

"I don't blame you," Edward said quietly, shaking his head. "There. Does that help?"

Tears stung my eyes, and I bowed my head. "Thank you," I whispered. "You owed me nothing, but you listened, and you believe me."

"On the contrary, I owe you thirty thousand dollars," Edward said lightly, and my head snapped up.

"Edward, _don't_ ," I said warningly. "You owe me absolutely _nothing_."

"Bella, seeing as you did nothing to hurt me in the first place and thus owe _me_ nothing, of _course_ I'm now in debt to you," Edward said, rolling his eyes heavenward.

"It has nothing to do with Izzy's debt to you," I said, shaking my head. "For one thing, you saved me from a similar situation the first time around. For another—"

"Wait," Edward interrupted. "I did what? And what do you mean 'the first time around'?"

I exhaled slowly, fidgeting. "Before I woke up here in this alternate universe, it was May of my junior year," I admitted. "I went back in time as well."

"Wait," Edward said, shaking his head. "Are you saying…I mean, on top of everything else, time travel?"

"Yup," I said, trying to smile but failing. I was too paranoid that he would snap and stop believing me. "It's part of the reason why biology is so painfully easy. I already learned everything."

Edward groaned appreciatively. "My sympathies, then."

"It's alright," I shrugged. "If I had to worry about school on top of everything else, I'd go crazy."

"But what did you mean about my saving you before?" Edward asked curiously.

"It was pretty similar," I said slowly as I tried to remember the circumstances. "I separated from Jessica and Angela, who by the way were _significantly_ nicer, to go looking for a book store. And then, um…that group of men found me. Except they weren't paid to; they were just naturally…horrible."

"And I just jumped in the middle of it all?" Edward said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"No," I admitted. "You stayed in your car and just told me to get in."

"Why couldn't you have done _that_?" Edward asked with a stunned and frustrated laugh.

"Would you have _listened_?" I retorted, pointedly not mentioning that I'd wondered the same thing. "Besides, if I didn't show you how much you meant to me, you probably would still loath me."

Edward was quiet at that, thoughtful as he inspected my face. Finally he said, "It helped that you seemed to care very deeply for my wellbeing and that I suddenly owed you a great deal. But even without tonight, the evidence that you are a good person and _not_ Izzy was still piling up. It just so happened that tonight was a catalyst."

"Tonight was a catalyst before, too," I whispered. Except it hadn't been my secret to be shared, but _his_.

But I was definitely _not_ going to bring that up. _Nope. Vampirism is off the table._

"Have we followed more or less the same timeline?" He asked curiously.

I shrugged. "Sort of. But only with milestones between us. Everything else is completely different."

"Why don't you let me drive?" He said suddenly. "You're probably exhausted, and you've done enough tonight."

I turned the key in the engine immediately and grinned as it roared to life. "I'll survive."

He sighed, muttering incoherently as he buckled himself back in, completely returning to his side of the truck. But when we passed under the next lamp, I thought I could see a smile.

* * *

 **A/N:** Confession time: I was shamelessly unrealistic in this chapter. You can only extract about $800 from an ATM at a time. When you know that, thirty thousand dollars from one is laughably ridiculous. But so is a lot of what I do with these characters, and I thought for Edward and Bella's sake to shorten the hostage/money exchange to be in front of an ATM. It's not at ALL that I'm lazy. Nope.

I suppose if you can't think of anything else to comment on in a review, you could always comment on that and tell me that being shamelessly unrealistic has consequences and that you as a reader aren't going to lie down and take my crap and pretend my writing is quality. And you could also call me out on my equally as shameless run on sentences. ;)

Oh, and did anyone notice that there was a five hundred word scene at the beginning that completely did NOT fit the theme of the rest of the chapter? Ha. Yeah. I have no excuse.


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N:** I just want to say that I really, really appreciate all the reviews I get. When some of you admitted to actually being moved to tears by the last chapter, I just about died. Really. You're all far kinder than I deserve.

 **Disclaimer** : Okay, yeah, yeah, I don't own anything. Nothing new.

 **Quality Disclaimer** : I'm fairly certain that the protocol Bella follows for going to the police is a load of crap. I ask that my lovely readers suspend their understanding of reality for this chapter and try to enjoy it regardless of my shameless laziness as a writer. If the ATM debacle last chapter wasn't enough to metaphorically burn me at the stake, I sincerely apologize if this is the chapter that does it for you. But, uh...still not going to fix it.

Chapter 8:

"Do you ever leave that lip of yours alone?"

Heat crept up my neck and cheeks. "You shouldn't be looking at me anyway. Eyes on the road, please."

Edward snorted softly. "As if I'd let us crash! I could drive this road with my eyes closed, you know."

"…Please don't." At that, he finally laughed, and I allowed myself a small smile.

Our study/jail date plan had been trashed almost as soon as I got home. Charlie, of course, had been as livid as I'd ever seen him. Understandably so. He was no stranger to a daughter of his misbehaving and acting carelessly. What had made it so much worse was his thinking that those times were behind us, only to have that trust betrayed.

I could still remember the way his words had frozen me solid…

" _Thirty thousand dollars, huh?"_

 _I froze in the doorway to the house, taking in the scene with budding dread. Charlie's parental stakeout was right out of a movie with his treasured arm chair illuminated only by a single lamp. On his lap rested a book with a spine that read_ _Problem Children: How to Put Your Foot Down_ _. I'd caught him reading it every now and then, but he'd claimed that it was just some 'light reading'. It didn't look like 'light reading' now._

 _And he looked_ _mad_ _._

 _His face, so accustomed to smiling, was set like stone, his eyes nearly black with anger as he appraised me. But he didn't speak again, just sucked in a deep breath, the picture of disappointed fury._

 _Perhaps I had underestimated my father's frugality. I'd told Edward that Charlie would probably be relieved by my spending money, but obviously thirty thousand dollars was too much even for a multi-millionaire._

 _Sucking a deep breath in, I forced myself to move, to unfreeze my limbs and take off my rain coat and hang it up methodically. The hooks here were more for decoration, but I'd move the coat later. For now, I just needed to stall while I figured out how to answer him._

 _But then I was out of time, and I had to speak. So, clenching my hands tightly, I turned back to my father to face the music. "I'm sorry, Dad," I said. "You probably won't believe me, but it was a serious situation. I wasn't partying or shopping."_

 _He_ _didn't_ _believe me. I could see that in the hard line of his mouth and hear it in the long pause that followed my words. Finally, he broke the silence with, "Honestly, Iz, I thought we were past this."_

Somehow _that_ hurt even though rationally I knew he didn't even _mean_ to insult me. To Charlie, Izzy was a phase of his daughter's life. He didn't know that she possessed every trait and quality I could hate in a person, and that to call me her name he was attaching the most degrading label conceivable for me.

It had taken a multitude of disclaimers and begging hand in hand with the expected explanations, but finally he stopped accusing me of spending thirty thousand dollars on drugs and, much later, stopped seething over my ridiculous rescue plan and my "excessive spending".

" _He's worth that, isn't he?" I plead. "Don't you wish_ every day _that I'd done the same for Rosalie?"_

 _For an instant, Charlie looked stricken. It had been a low blow, striking right at the heart of something he desperately didn't want to confront about his relationship between him and his daughter. In a way, it was painful to watch, to see the gaping hole in Charlie's love for me._

 _His daughter, at least as far as he knew, was a monster. Of course, she was_ less _of one if she'd become one on accident. But he still probably wished desperately that things had ended a little differently for Rosalie Hale._

" _Of course I do, Izzy," Charlie said quietly. "You're right. If you had to spend that money on anything, it's really the only fitting thing._ _But that's only_ if _what you just told me was the truth."_

Needless to say, it had been _very_ late when I'd gone to bed.

Charlie had told me in the end that it would be better to work with the police here in Forks. The information would get transferred there to catch the men who Jake had paid, but in the end we'd be pressing charges against Jake, and that was already being handled primarily by the local police. So Charlie had driven me down to the police station bright and early, and I reported all that I knew.

When I informed Edward of the change in plans, he suggested that he go do the same, and then he'd come pick me up and take me to his house where we'd finally work on the stupid project. I'd complied willingly enough seeing as I still got to be with Edward, and here we were.

"What are you thinking about?"

I glanced at Edward, and I opened my mouth to lie. But as I inspected his profile and the softness in his expression…I couldn't. "Charlie, I guess," I admitted quietly.

Edward's brow furrowed. "I hope he's not worried about whether I'll pay you back or not."

"Edward, for one thing, I won't take your money. If he cares, he _should_ be worried. But for another, I know that he doesn't care," I said matter of factly. "We already talked it over. He just didn't want me to spend it on drugs."

Edward sighed and shook his head. "I can't imagine how irritating it must be to have parents who don't trust you when you've done _nothing_ to deserve it…"

 _I wouldn't go that far._ Something tells me Charlie wouldn't have been thrilled to find out that my boyfriend had stayed the night pretty much every night for months…

"Charlie could treat me a _lot_ worse," I said, looking out the window. "I'm grateful I have a relationship with him at all."

Edward was quiet for a moment, and he sighed. "I used to resent him for that. But for your sake, I suppose I'm grateful."

So _easily_ affirmations passed his lips! More than likely he only said it because he was worried about my sense of self worth and was overcompensating. Maybe he just felt bad about all of the nasty things he'd said to me.

But it was still sweet.

"It wasn't Charlie's fault," I said quietly, firmly.

"But he protected Izzy," Edward said slowly, quietly, voice burning with intensity and poorly concealed rancor. "Rosalie was _devastated_ , and Izzy got off with a slap on the wrists."

"I think if you were in Charlie's shoes, you might do something similar," I whispered. "No matter how much pain Izzy deserved, no good would have been served in the end by inflicting even more pain and damage. In a way, I think she was already suffering immensely."

"Let's not talking about this," Edward said with a shake of his head and rueful smile. "I don't think we'll ever agree."

Well. _Now_ I felt like a monster. _Of_ all _the things to disagree on!_

I opened my mouth to concede and agree with him, but the words stuck in my throat. _Yes_ , I loath Izzy. _Yes,_ the psychological damage she dealt was colossal. And _yes_ , she handled her own pain poorly. As Edward had said last night, she _was_ selfish, disgustingly so.

But even now I could remember Jake's words. _"Oh, I've left a lot more than bruises, babe. I've left a_ _ **brand**_ _."_ I'd read the texts, seen the jeers, felt Jake's hands bruising mine. She'd been under so much pressure to conform to expectations, maintain her charming façade, and somehow purchase a bit of happiness when she was cornered in all the worst places to find it. Though I wonder how much guilt she was truly able to feel for what she did to the Cullens, I know she'd felt enough of other pain to be no stranger to punishment.

I couldn't fault Charlie for his compassion on his thankless but broken daughter. It wasn't just that it meant I had a family to come back to. It was that Izzy had suffered enough without _every_ _single_ _person_ taking a swing at her just to watch her flinch in pain. With every other person practically at her throat, Charlie's unconditional love must have been the _only_ safe haven she had, whether she consciously recognized that or not.

But all the same, I had no right to ask Edward to see that side of her.

 _Even now, Izzy drives a wedge between us,_ I thought with a bitter smile. _He'll never be able to pity her. And after living her life…I can't help_ but _pitying her._

"Tell me about Charlie," Edward said, breaking the silence. "What was he like as a small town cop?"

Changing the subject because _I_ clearly wasn't going to _._ How much did I owe to his kindness now? "He was...awkward. He'd lived as a bachelor for sixteen years, and I don't think he ever…really got over my mom. He had a job he liked, hobbies he enjoyed like fishing, and a good group of friends to watch baseball with." I smiled softly out at the familiar drive. "Charlie's a lot more like me than my mom, so it was actually…really nice."

"You were both awkward and unique?" Edward supplied helpfully, and I laughed.

"Yes. But unlike my truck, we're both pretty quiet, actually." Edward was pulling up to his house finally, and I gripped the armrests of his car as I felt a stab of anxiety. Edward had been wise to distract me until the last possible moment.

"Haven't you already met them?" Edward asked with a quizzical expression.

I bit my lip. "Well…sort of. Your dad tried to offer me birth control once," I said offhandedly before it occurred to me that I _really_ didn't want to discuss that aspect of my life with him.

Edward snorted while I began to blush. "No, I meant, haven't you already met my parents in the alternate universe?"

I stared at the wonderfully familiar house. It looked as beautiful and cheerful as ever, even with the sky raining cats and dogs over the comforting scene. "Yes," I admitted quietly. "But that was…different. I mean, there was a chance that they would hate me then, but…it feels inevitable now."

Edward turned off the car and reached over to take my hand. As always, the temperature shocked me, but the touch soothed some of the panic. "You have nothing to fear from them," he promised. "Even if they did hate you, we're just going up to my room to work. They won't bother us."

I stared with unseeing eyes at the dashboard. "Edward…how do I face your mother?"

Edward squeezed my hand. "Whatever her personal feelings for you, I'm sure she'll follow my lead." The bitterness in his voice was obvious as he added, "They're not nearly as concerned by matters of revenge or justice as I am."

 _Great._ "Edward, I meant what I said," I said, turning to look at him. "If cursing and hating me, her, to your last breath is what you need to be happy, do it. Frankly, I don't care. I only want…this cycle of suffering to end."

"But you don't really think it'll end like this, do you?" Edward's smile was twisted, and he looked away, as if he could not bear to hold my eyes. His grip on my hand however tightened.

How to make him understand how much I _didn't_ think like that, that I wasn't judging him? "You are a _good person_ ," I said emphatically. "Your compassion and your capacity for empathy is astounding. You are absolutely capable of happiness."

"Even if I'm a hypocrite and sometimes so full of hate I can't contain myself?" Edward asked lightly, the edge of self loathing unmistakable.

 _I love you._ I wanted to say the words desperately, but on top of the demands of being my friend, I couldn't bear to require that of him as well. I would bury _those_ three words deep down until he was willing to brave them himself, if ever. "You're better than you know or than you're willing to acknowledge," I whisper.

Edward peered at me. "I don't mean to slight your convictions, but I have to ask. Is it _me_ that you believe to be such a good person, or is it the Edward of your other universe?"

"Both of you," I said firmly with no hesitation.

He eyed me wearily, as if weighing how badly he wanted to pursue this despite its impact on my already stressed psyche. "Bella, you don't… _really_ know me all that well. I—"

"I know enough," I interrupted. "The other universe wasn't all sunshine and rainbows either. Whatever darkness you fight in yourself, you're winning regardless. Understood?"

Edward's lips quirked into a crooked smile that was so achingly familiar and heart-stoppingly beautiful that for approximately three seconds I couldn't breathe. "Understood." He finally pulled his hand from my grasp to unbuckle his seatbelt. "Well. Ready to meet the parents? Again?"

I groaned reluctantly and unbuckled my seatbelt. Already my heart was beginning to pound from tension and anxiety. At least _this_ time around that heartbeat wouldn't be broadcasted to a houseful of vampires with ultrasensitive ears.

"Bella, if you want, I can…talk to them," Edward said slowly. "I can tell them who you are."

How badly I wanted _that!_ Carlisle already had to be onto me, and surely Esme would believe their combined testimonies, right?

 _If someone told me that the little horror of the town transformed overnight, the one who had already dealt incalculable damage to my family, would I believe him? Or would it seem more like a trick, another ploy to cause pain?_

The hope caught in my throat, and I realized that it just wouldn't make sense to tell Esme before she'd reached some conclusions over her own. It would alleviate some discomfort with Carlisle, but he'd already minimized it admirably.

I could be patient until Esme was ready to hear the truth. "Wait a bit," I said finally. "Esme wouldn't believe me without seeing a difference in my behavior firsthand. At least, _I_ wouldn't."

"But that means that you would need to interact with them as Izzy," Edward said cautiously. "That's a horrible burden to carry, meeting the families of her victims."

I shook my head. "Nothing can be worse than interacting with you and Alice as Izzy."

"Well, that's something," Edward said with a flippant grin. "At least my mother won't call you a whore and a complete imbecile."

I turned to glance at him. "Funny. I almost thought I heard you mocking yourself for behavior you _couldn't have known to help_ ," I said slowly with an edge to my voice. I smiled at him. "But that would be _completely_ unfair to you and therefore pointless, wouldn't it? Surely you're not capable of something that stupid."

Edward laughed a self deprecating laugh. "So my apology wasn't even accepted. It was just deemed completely unnecessary."

"It wasn't an apology, it was a jab at yourself," I corrected. "And you'd be hard pressed to find someone _less_ inclined to agree with one of those."

All traces of bitter amusement dropped from his face, and I noticed with a start the vulnerability in his beautiful green eyes. "You're perfectly absurd, you know." And then he pushed his lips up into a crooked smile that was something like genuine before throwing open the door to his house.

Not for the first time, I was struck by how open and inviting the interior of his home was. Although my own home had done a complete one eighty across universes, this home looked much the same as I remembered. _"It's the one place we never have to hide."_ It made sense for Esme to have designed this home to be so inviting and free with such crushing external pressures. Be it vampirism or bullies, Esme Cullen made her home a refuge.

"Edward, is that you?" I heard Esme call, and the woman herself strolled into the foyer.

If Esme of the other universe was remarkably soft for a vampire, Esme of this universe was remarkably angled for a human. Her heart shaped face and long, caramel curls were familiar, but the flawless makeup and pointedly fashionable ensemble screamed professional, modern day woman. Her lips stretched into a beautiful, practiced smile that looked startlingly unfamiliar as she greeted me.

For some reason, I'd assumed that Esme had escaped the universe flip as unscathed as her husband and son. While Carlisle and Edward had been changed by circumstances, Esme appeared to have undergone a switch similar in nature to everyone else that I'd met in school.

"Hey, Mom," Edward said as he shrugged out of his rain coat before extending a hand out to me presumably for me to hand him my own. After a second of hesitating, I quickly began to struggle out of mine as well.

"It's so nice to see you, Izzy," Esme greeted, the lie rolling off her lips so easily I only just stopped myself from gaping. Though her smile remained as dazzling as ever, her eyes were clearly, pointedly guarded.

 _Right. This is a refuge, and she might think I'm invading it._ "Thank you for letting me come," I said, trying to force a smile to mimic hers. "Your home is beautiful."

Esme nodded. "Why, thank you! It's a work in progress, as you can see," she inclined her head at the living room where Edward's piano had stood before but was now the center of some renovations and construction of some sort, "but it's certainly getting there."

"She goes by Bella now, actually," Edward said somewhat pointedly as he hung up our coats. I inwardly was grateful that he made the distinction. I had no right as Izzy to correct this woman on _anything_ , so I'd been willing to let it slide. But if I didn't have to be called by her name, perhaps I wouldn't leave this house as sick to my stomach.

"Oh, when did that happen?" Esme listed her head curiously.

"Just a few weeks ago," I said with a shrug. "But I actually went by Bella when I was younger."

"Interesting," Esme said, blinking curiously at me. "Harking back to a time of more innocence, then?"

Not exactly. More like an entire lifetime of innocence.

I opened my mouth to admit that it was a futile distinction to make because from her perspective it truly must have been, when Edward spoke first. "It's not like that, Mom," Edward said, disgruntled. "Please stop with the psychoanalyzing. You're not even right half the time."

 _So…so rude!_ I stared at Edward in surprise. I'd never seen Edward be anything but gentle with his mother, and for good reason. Esme had hardly possessed a fragile disposition, but she was too mild and kind to warrant anything _but_ reciprocal behavior.

To my continued surprise, instead of snapping at Edward, Esme laughed heartily. "Really? Was I off that time?" She didn't pause for an answer as she continued with, "I'll probably bring up some snacks in an hour or two. Be productive at least up until then, alright?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "You know me, Mom," Edward said sarcastically. "Playing Halo until three in the morning and leaving homework to the last second…Boy, working on this project with Bella for a solid hour will sure be a stretch…" But then he smiled at Esme, and she grinned back.

 _They're teasing each other,_ I realized with a burst of warmth. Though the interactions were rougher thus far, there didn't seem to be any less love on either side.

"Come on, Bella," Edward said, leading the way up the stairs.

I nodded at Esme before quickly following Edward.

"Sorry about her," Edward murmured when we were out of earshot. "I don't know if you've heard yet, but she's a clinical therapist."

"Oh," I said. That explained her clever (though undeniably inaccurate) comment about innocence and my name.

"She was testing me to see if I'd stick up for you," Edward said, heading up another flight up stairs to where I knew his room would be. "If I hadn't said anything, she would have bullied you mercilessly."

 _Bullied me mercilessly?_ I was beginning to realize just how stupid I was for not anticipating Esme's personality switch. "…I see."

He peered at me. "You seemed surprised to see my mother. She's not what you were expecting, then?"

I inwardly groaned miserably. Like he needed another reason to think I was an idiot. "Something like that…"

* * *

"For someone who's already lived through these classes, you're not very helpful thus far," Edward noted, resting his head on his hand as he eyed me curiously.

Even with the jibe, my attention remained centered on the TV screen. "Don't you think it's odd, though?" I wondered aloud. "The amount of people who have disappeared in Washington lately?"

I glanced at Edward, and I found him pursing his lips thoughtfully before shaking his head. "Unfortunately, awful people exist everywhere," Edward said quietly. "Not all of them are bullies in Prada heels trying to cheat on their boyfriend with the school's biggest nerd."

I shook my head. "Biggest nerd? That's the most defining characteristic you have, then?"

"I would ask you what you would come up with, but I'm afraid it would be sickeningly kind," Edward said lightly. He tossed the notebook he was scribbling away on and reclined on his elbows on the bed, his lips quirking up into a playful smirk.

I narrowed my eyes. "Oh, so just because I happen to like you more than you like yourself, my opinion is invalid? You're _always_ right, then?"

Edward flashed me a set of pearly whites. "Naturally."

I rolled my eyes. "At least _that_ hasn't changed," I muttered as I glanced back at the TV.

Of course Edward couldn't leave it at that, so after a pause, he asked, "What was I like, then?"

I sighed as I contemplated his question before shrugging. "Honestly, you're not that different at all. The only significant difference is that you hated me here."

"That's all you're going to tell me?" Edward sat up to pout at me. " _I_ could have guessed that."

I smiled. "Well…you were lonelier before. Everyone was already paired off, and you had a lot of free time on your hands. You were transplants to Forks as well, and none of you made any friends."

"Before you," Edward guessed.

"Before me," I agreed.

"Why you, then?" Edward said, propping his elbow up on his knee and resting his head on his hand.

I struggled with that question. Edward's options had hardly been kill me or befriend me. "I don't know. In some ways, I just had terrible luck and made a general nuisance of myself so you couldn't ignore me."

"A nuisance?" He repeated skeptically.

The fact that my blood drove him almost insane with need or the fact that my mind was maddeningly silent to him wasn't something I could exactly bring up without coming dangerously close to a taboo subject. But there were a few safe incidents. "Well, Tyler Crowley would have smashed me with his van if you hadn't saved me," I said.

Edward's eyes widened. " _What_?"

"It wasn't exactly easy to cut ties with me after that," I said wryly. "Irritatingly enough, I kept trying to say thank you." _And trying to accuse him of being a supernatural being._

Lying to him was becoming more and more consuming. It felt like I was distorting things left and right.

 _But telling him that he was a blood sucking, eternal teenager in the other universe is hardly an option. It's too random, too out of nowhere._

"So I tried to cut you out, then?" Edward checked. "My antisocial tendencies didn't crumble at the first hint of kindness from you?"

"Nope," I said. "You ignored me for a solid month before you suddenly asked me if you could drive me to Port Angeles."

"Sounds like a run of the mill date," Edward agreed with a mocking smile.

I laughed at his expression. "No, it wasn't that strange. I was avoiding a school dance that weekend, so I told everyone that I was driving down to Port Angeles."

There was a knock at the door, and Esme poked her head. Immediately the smile froze on my face. "Well, the TV isn't on, so I suppose I should be proud, shouldn't I?" Esme said as she entered the room fully with a plate of cookies in hand.

"Moved to tears," Edward said as he got to his feet to take the plate of cookies from her.

"They smell amazing," I said, trying to smile at her. She'd never like me if I couldn't even _smile_ at her.

"Thank you," she said, flashing me a smile that put my own mockery of one to shame. "And don't you kids worry. I haven't slaved over them the past hour and a half at _all_. I was already going to make them for some unfathomable reason…"

"Thank you, Mom," Edward said before turning back towards her and quickly kissing her cheek.

Esme's dazzling smile softened into something so genuine that my heart actually clenched painfully. "Of course," Esme said, reaching up and mussing Edward's hair.

She wandered over to the bed and picked up the rubric. "What exactly is this project anyway?"

Edward sighed and snatched the paper back. "No, Mom. You're _not_ going to help us. We're not in third grade."

Esme held up her hands in surrender. "Alright, alright. I'm getting out of your hair." True to her words, she headed towards the door before pausing. "Oh, Bella, my husband wanted me to tell you hello and that he's sorry he can't come say hello to you himself. He's just doing a little bit of yard work."

Edward sighed. "Tell Dad I'll help him if he's still working after Bella leaves."

Esme laughed. "I wasn't hinting anything, dear. But I'll be sure to tell him."

Edward stared at the door a moment after she left, and shook his head. "Sometimes, she drives me crazy," he muttered, snatching up a cookie before sitting down on the bed again.

"You love her a lot, though," I observed. What I'd suspected earlier had only been confirmed. Edward doted on his mother just as much as before. He just did it differently because _she_ was different.

Edward shrugged before admitting, "Yeah." He took a thoughtful bite before gesturing towards the plate. "Help yourself. I promise you she wouldn't chance poisoning her precious son, so you should be safe."

I laughed as I reached for one. "Did I look that scared?"

"Terrified," Edward grinned. "Alright. Let's get back to work."

* * *

 **A/N:** Yeah. Relatively short chapter, especially compared to the last monster I posted. In fact, this is roughly one third of what I posted.

So, on top of writing this story for you, I'm also slaving over scholarship essays for college and the like. Yuck. So if you really want to lift my mood and distract me from the misery of my looming future, a review would do very nicely. ^-^


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Here is chapter nine. It's about the same size as last chapter. Enjoy your respite because the next chapter is another _monster_. I should really learn how to write reasonably lengthed chapters, but occasionally I get utterly carried away.

Anyways, enough rambling.

 **Disclaimer** : There once was a beautiful author named Stephenie Meyer who published a book called _Twilight_ that changed a nine year old girl's life forever. And eight years later, that girl is _still_ writing Twilight fanfiction. Her Edward character is a tad more believable, but it is with mixed feelings that I must report that she still doesn't actually _own_ Twilight.

She does, oddly enough, have an apparent fondness for speaking of herself in the third person, though.

Chapter 9:

Sometimes Mondays _suck._

It was the kind of thing that my Jake could probably preach a sermon on, but I was just beginning to appreciate the full weight of this particular cliché. In my life which could be split into three neat little sections (before Edward, Edward, and then universe flip), Mondays had at first been pointless. It was just another day I had to drag myself from my bed to face. It was meaningless. But when Edward became a permanent fixture in my life, it became almost exciting. It was the beginning of another week with him, after all.

But since the flip, it's been something of a misery.

Yes, Edward is now more of an ally than a foe. And that was _definitely_ significant.

But I'm not spending time with Edward in English, am I? I'm just dying of boredom, wasting away and drooping with exhaustion and damp from the rain and _heavens_ above I've got a headache…

I massaged my temples. _The nightmares aren't helping_. Two nights in a row, I'd been haunted by horrid visions of Jake either causing incredible pain or at the receiving end, and even in the dream I couldn't sort through my horror and loyalties. It should be simple to cut him off, and it's not like I'm truly _faltering_. But even as me, as Bella and not Izzy, he'd made a bloody mess of the small corner of my heart that I'd allowed him before pushing him away. And the nightmares capitalized on that horror, drawing it out in baffling, delirious storylines over and over throughout the night…

And if it wasn't Jake, it was James.

Strange how he'd come to mind after all this time. No, what's strange is why I'm not having dreams about _Edward_. Things have been going well enough to warrant it, right?

I'd actually been dreaming of James's venom searing my veins when Charlie finally tore me from the dream's embrace with a few rough shakes. When I'd finally awoken gasping from the nightmare, it was to hear that I was already late for school.

So of course I'd rushed around though my head felt full of cotton and hurried as fast as I could, even pushing my truck near its internal speed limit. And then my reward was titters from my classmates because, despite being late, I hadn't even used the extra time to look presentable. Apparently my hair was something of a joke at the moment.

"Bella?" A hand appeared in front of my face, and I started violently and looked up to see Miss Palmer leaning down over me with concerned eyes. "Are you alright?"

I looked around me surreptitiously, but everyone was still seated, though most were scribbling things down on notebook paper. Well, class wasn't over, but I'd missed the assignment. _Crap._ "Yeah," I said, sitting up. "Sorry for being late. I…overslept." I winced. For Izzy, a simple statement like that could be construed a million different _horrible_ ways.

"You don't look well," Miss Palmer noted. "Make sure you get some rest, alright?"

 _If these nightmares hold up, not likely._ "Sure," I said, somewhat awkwardly. It was all I could think to say.

"But I just wanted to hand this essay back to you," Miss Palmer said, and I noticed the near perfect score with mixed feelings of surprise and apathy. The first time around, Miss Palmer had only ever given me B's. But, if I'm being honest, I spend a lot more time studying now without Edward distracting me…which means my grades might go down again. "Have you considered English as a major, Bella?"

I blinked up at her in surprise. "Um…lately, yeah."

"If you keep up your performance, then I would _highly_ recommend it," Miss Palmer smiled down at me, and I was struck by how pretty she was. _At least_ one _person has benefitted from this flip,_ I thought. The Miss Palmer of before had not smiled nearly so much. "It's rare to find someone who appreciates the classics."

I could only nod stupidly.

"Oh, and Bella?" Miss Palmer leaned down and murmured quietly, "Your shirt is inside out."

The people around me heard anyway, and I heard Jessica snort in disgust. I smiled stiffly up at Miss Palmer even as I wanted to bang my head against the desk. _I hate Mondays._

* * *

I emerged from the bathroom with my newly right-side-out shirt with a yawn when I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket. It felt odd to have the expensive phone near me all the time, but even I had to admit that it had its uses. Particularly when I got texts from Edward (only a recent development, obviously; he'd given his number to me Saturday when I went to his house).

I read the text as I meandered towards my next class. **Eat with us in the library?** My phone vibrated again, and another message appeared. **This way she can get used to you.**

I bit my lip to keep from smiling goofily at my phone.

When I'd dropped Edward off at his house Friday night, we'd spoken only briefly about Alice.

" _What are you going to tell Alice?"_

 _Edward considered the question for a moment thoughtfully before answering slowly, "I'll have to think about it."_

" _I don't know what I'm going to do to make it up to her," I admitted quietly. "She doesn't seem to hate me as much as you did, but she also doesn't seem to_ _care_ _. I'm not sure telling her I'm not Izzy will make much of a difference."_

" _You want to be her friend?" Edward asked._

" _Very badly," I confessed, barely audible. "She's very important to me."_

 _For a moment we could hear nothing but the soft, comforting drizzle on the windshield of the car, and then Edward wrapped his hand around mine. I stared at him in surprise, but his smile was kind and understanding. "Don't worry," he urged softly. "We'll work something out."_

 _I nodded slowly. "Thank you," I whispered._

He hadn't said anything to her yet, but he'd been thinking about it.

"Oh my gosh, is that a piece of _toilet paper_ in her hair?" I stiffened, and I looked up to see Angela Weber laughing behind perfectly manicured fingers, and my blood ran cold. I shuddered and broke eye contact with her quickly. Somehow I felt more chilled looking at her than I had an entire coven of vampires.

But she made it quickly apparent that ignoring her wasn't an option after all. "Hey, Swan," Angela smirked, swaggering up to me, and I had to crane my neck to meet her eyes. Her height before had made her endearingly awkward. Now it was a tool of intimidation. "Your hair gives me some pretty great ideas about what we can do together instead of going to class." Angela reached forward with one of her hot pink claws, and a shudder ran the length of my spine. After invading my personal space, she retracted a delicate hand to reveal a piece of toilet paper. _How…did that get there…? Well. That's embarrassing._ "Can you guess what?"

Images of Angela forcing my head into a toilet bowl came to mind, and I gritted my teeth as I forced myself not to flinch. _Poker face. Don't give anything away._ "Clean the school bathrooms together?" I guessed.

Angela laughed, eyes flashing. "Oh, Iz. You're so _cute_." Angela smiled down at me. "We don't talk enough anymore, Iz. Why don't you answer your text messages?"

"Huh. I didn't know you were texting me," I said, not even having to feign the boredom in my tone. "Guess I blocked you on accident. Oops."

Angela smirked down at me. "Happens all the time," Angela agreed. "Maybe you should give them another look. Well, see you around, Izzy." With that she turned on her heel and her band of harpies receded with her, presumably to walk to their next class together.

After they were at least halfway down the walkway towards the next building, I unlocked my phone which had been resting limply in my hand for the duration of the encounter and texted Edward back, pointedly ignoring the hundreds of unread texts. **Sure.**

* * *

"Um…okay. This is weird."

I winced. "If you want, I can go."

"Well, that should be obvious." Alice frowned up at me as if I were a frustrating math equation. "Go, then."

"Alice," Edward said, touching her arm. Inwardly I sighed at the casual touch. _He definitely does that to everyone. Get over it, Bella. You already suspected as much._ "Tolerate it, please."

Alice twisted to let the full weight of her horrified stare rest on him. "Why on Earth would I? Edward, I wanted to talk about some of my research today with you! I thought that's why you wanted to eat with me."

 _Clearly_ I was intruding. "I'll see you in Biology, Edward," I said as I turned. She'd hardly come to like me more if I made myself a nuisance in her life.

"Bella—"

"Since when is she _Bella_?" I winced and exited the library and made my way towards the bathrooms where I typically took my lunches since I couldn't eat in the cafeteria without being showered in lettuce.

 _I wonder what she's researching?_ I mused. _Must not be something she'd mention in front of Izzy. Maybe…her visions?_

Strange how things had ended up with Alice. Not only did fashion _not_ matter to her (which I was _so_ okay with) at all, but she'd taken to science with such _enthusiasm_. Isn't that a bit of a paradox? The vampire, psychic scientist?

Of course, I didn't know just how 'psychic' she was. I'd only guessed at the dinner party that she had some intuition, but upon further reflection, it had _hardly_ been a scientific conclusion. She'd just said it was time for dinner without looking at a watch and just walked out of the room. Not exactly compelling evidence.

… _Why is it that Alice got astronomically smarter in terms of book smarts, and my IQ dropped to that of a small child's?_

Of course, there were more troubling alterations to this universe that I hadn't much dwelt on before: Jasper.

I'd never known Jasper very well, actually. Though I'd come to share a fair amount of time with Alice who for some unfathomable reason had sought me out and treated me like another sister from almost as soon as she got permission from Edward, I'd spent significantly less time with her husband and mate. I got the feeling that it wasn't so much as dislike on his part as caution on Edward's. At least at first, Jasper had always kept his distance.

But Jasper had unmistakably always _been_ there, practically Alice's shadow. And especially towards the end of my time in my home universe, he'd started to interact with me more outside of his occasional tampering with my emotions.

Jasper was _nice_. Reserved, but unmistakably amusing especially when Emmett was able to draw him out of his shell. His devotion to Alice, his silent undertaking of the job of mediator in the home, and his place as a go between hand in hand with Alice that glued the Cullens together made him irreplaceable.

 _So where is he?_

I shook my head as I settled on top of a toilet, setting my lunch on my lap. I wasn't likely to get an answer, at least until I knew just how psychic Alice was. Hopefully Alice at least had some idea of where her blonde haired soul mate was hiding.

* * *

Edward was waiting for me in Biology, and expression was all apology as I settled down next to him. "Bella, I'm _so_ sorry. That was terribly rude of her. I should have checked with her first before bringing you all the way over there."

I shook my head. "It's not like I had anything better to do, so don't worry about it. It didn't bother me at all."

"Really," he said skeptically as he searched my expression for any falsehood, any sign of hurt feelings.

"I got to brush up on _As You Like It_ ," I said with a pointedly cheerful smile. "It was very productive."

Edward shook his head. "I cannot decide if you are terribly sensitive or incredibly thick skinned. I'm not sure if I should be attempting to shield you or admire your patience."

 _He's trying to gage how badly I need a hero,_ I thought. _If reasonably good people are in pain, especially girls, he feels the need to help them. I am now in that coveted circle, and that's significant. But it's not exclusive, and I'll never be content with such a tenuous hold on his heart._ Just the thought of him eying Alice or any other girl who needed help with those same soft eyes made my chest tighten painfully.

No. I needed much more than that from Edward to even come _close_ to being content or happy. I needed to be _more_ than the damsel in distress, something he felt the need to protect.

 _But do I really want to seem so strong that he won't feel the need to care for me at all?_

What a horrid predicament! To have won his affection so easily only to find it just as easily lost or weakened! He needed to by some miracle actually fall in love me and somehow come to value me more than…what, his childhood best friends?

It was then, staring into his eyes and wracking my brains for the best way to answer him when a horrible thought occurred to me.

 _Jasper isn't here. What if that's because…he doesn't factor into the equation anymore?_

 _What if Edward and Alice are a_ thing _?_

For a few seconds, I was unable to breathe from the horror. Edward and Alice had always been compatible in a way that I'd never felt threatened by before but had always observed to be _very_ real. Especially here when they were each other's last piece of their friend group (in which _naturally_ they must have been paired up by default because of Emmett and Rosalie), they must hold a unique place in each other's heart. Perhaps they were destined for each other, had been falling for each other for years. All the odds if I were being honest with myself were stacked in that direction.

They got along: check. They had a long, traumatic history together: check. They had had no other viable options (Jasper or me): check.

And even worse than this was the maddening question of whether I was so horribly selfish as to attempt to get in the way. I'm fairly certain it's impossible to force someone to love you, but I could still make a valiant effort.

If I decided to fight for him anyway…I could alienate Alice through threatening her place with Edward. I could lose Edward if things ended badly enough, awkwardly enough, or if my selfishness reminded him just a little bit too much of Izzy.

And more than that, I could potentially ruin whatever happiness they had that Izzy had been unable to smother.

 _I can't do it,_ I realized. _If Alice loves him like that and he loves her…no matter the psychological cost to me, even if the idea feels like a knife in my heart…I couldn't try and get between them._

"Will you tell me what you're thinking _before_ I go mad with curiosity?" Edward interrupted, and I realized with a start that I'd never answered his comment on my being sensitive or not.

I blinked at him in surprise, still reeling with the implications that flooded through my mind of such a scenario. _I don't know anything yet,_ I told myself as I attempted to dam up the unnecessary insecurities and agonizing fears safely in the back of my mind. _There's no point in panicking until I know more. I can grieve later._

"Sorry," I said, unable to keep a smile from my lips at the impatience in his voice. "Honestly, I'm not much bothered by pettiness anymore. I'm more worried about the long term implications of it. I don't think Alice will be as easily swayed towards me as anyone else might."

Edward sighed. "I know what you mean. Well, if nothing else, she's curious. That might be our greatest weapon against her," he mused before pausing. "And that wasn't what you were _really_ thinking about, was it? Your expressions told quite a different story," he hinted.

 _Right. Why don't I just come right out and ask: hey, are you in love with your childhood friend Alice? Oh, and please be honest and ignore the fact that I already told you I'm in love with you._ Right. Like _that_ would go over well in the middle of class. "Just thinking," I said firmly.

Mr. Banner finally started class. "Alright, everyone! Judgment day! You all knew this was coming! Take out your reports and hand them to me as I walk by!"

Edward began to rifle through his backpack, but he murmured to me as he searched. "I was thinking that we could try to tell her this weekend, give her plenty of time to adjust to the idea. How does that sound?"

I considered it. _Curiosity may be our greatest weapon against her…_ "Do you honestly think she'll care?" I asked doubtfully.

Edward laughed softly, a self deprecating sound as he handed the eight page report we'd worked on to Mr. Banner. "I'm sure you won't trust my judgment much after today's debacle, but she'll have plenty of time to back out of it. And she'll know the exact nature of the meaning long beforehand. I'll tell her there's a secret of yours that you would like to share, something that would change everything in how she views you."

"If you didn't believe me, this would probably be impossible," I noted. "She'll still probably ignore me."

"She won't do that," Edward disagreed with a shake of his head. "As I said before, she's a curious creature. She'll entertain it, even if just as a hypothetical, because she'll be deeply fascinated by your stories of the other universe."

"Is it that interesting?" I wondered.

"Maddeningly so," Edward admitted. "But the subject seems to pain you, so I'm trying not to press."

I blinked. "It's…well, _sometimes_ it is. But generally, I was exceptionally happy there. But I thought you only bring it up to distract me or to be polite."

Edward laughed at that. "Bella, you're talking about," he lowered his voice for this, " _time travel_ and alternate universes…what about that would not be _fascinating?_ "

I shrugged. "I suppose part of it is the messenger. I'm not exactly the best story teller."

"Even the driest textbooks have their place," Edward said. "…Not that I would put you in the same league as a dry textbook. Bella, even if you spoke broken English and used a plethora of odd idioms we'd never heard before, I promise you that even _that_ couldn't sabotage the entertainment and scholarly value of your knowledge."

"How comforting," I deadpanned.

Edward grinned at me. "That…probably sounded better in my head."

I laughed. "No, I get your point. Well, if you want to hear more, you can just ask. There are almost no sore spots." I realized too late that that was a lie. There were two enormous ones: my relationship to him, and the fact that he had been a vampire.

Edward appraised my expression carefully before dryly saying, "Really." He didn't sound convinced.

I sighed. "Okay, there are things I won't necessarily want to tell you. But I just won't answer them if that's the case. To definitively answer your question earlier, so long I know that you don't hate me, I'm _not_ in danger of wounded feelings, alright?"

Edward regarded me quietly for a moment before asking quietly, "Is it that hatred from any source distresses you, or just from me?"

My emotions were immediately in chaos at the question, and for a moment I was too flustered and scattered to give an answer.

"I…" With his eyes burning into me like that, I couldn't think much more coherent thoughts than _I love him_ , so I averted my eyes to my lap and my fidgeting fingers. "Do you actually want to know the answer?"

When I peeked at Edward, he was frowning. "Would you tell me if I really wanted to? Even though the question clearly makes you uncomfortable?"

"Yes?" It came out like a question, and I almost slapped a palm to my forehead in frustration with myself. I couldn't even answer a straightforward question with something like intelligence or confidence.

Edward's eyes seared into mine, and breathing became once more impossible. "I suppose that's answer enough for me then, isn't it?"

My breath caught in my throat before nodding. It was the only thing to do.

Too late, I remembered the possibility of his being possibly involved with Alice romantically or on the road there, and I wanted to claw at my face in frustration. Too late I'd remembered! _If he feels that way for Alice, or she feels that way for him, regardless I would have just become a massive burden to him…never mind that since he almost_ certainly _doesn't feel the same way about me it's going to be a burden._

 _Isabella Swan, do you ever_ think _?_

Part of me wanted to throw down the gauntlet and let Edward do with it what he would. These feelings would only fester if I attempted to lock them away. And another, much more rational side of me that focused on self preservation recognized that while my love for him might destroy my peace if unexpressed, it would destroy _me_ if unrequited.

"I'm passing around worksheets for review. These _will_ be due before the end of the period, so don't just blow them off," Mr. Banner instructed. "You can work in groups if you're struggling. Which none of you should be at this point, but I suppose that's why the test is tomorrow, not today…"

"He seems quite tired of us," Edward noted. "A shame. We're only barely into the second semester."

I cracked a smile at that. "Better than defeated divorcee. I think this flippant, ironic side of him is more interesting personally."

Edward sighed. "Unfortunately, I agree with you. But it's a shame when a teacher wins favor for his unique variety of laziness instead of any actual skill."

"Your standards are too high," I said with a critical shake of my head.

Edward shook his head. "Not when you're applying to MIT. This school doesn't even have advanced science courses!" He scoffed in disgust. "Much less AP or IB courses. I have to drive nearly an hour to take the exams!"

"…Your commitment to your academics is frightening to say the least," I admitted. "I'll be lucky to graduate, you know. College will be a joke."

"You can just transfer once you've started somewhere," Edward said thoughtfully. "Your high school transcript won't be nearly as important then. And besides, with Charlie's income, you can afford the tuition of any school that accepts you. You can go basically wherever you want that has a high acceptance rate."

 _But I can't follow you to MIT or Dartmouth._ But out loud I admitted, "It's true. Though my GPA has dropped quite a bit, I think I have more options as to where I'm going than ever before." I frowned. "Actually, that's probably not true. I think you would have paid anything for me to go to college."

Edward glanced at me in surprise. "…I'm confused. Explain, please."

I shrugged. "We weren't necessarily going to college," I said vaguely. "That upset you a great deal that I was missing out. Oh, and _you_ were the absurdly rich one. You weren't _nearly_ as ostentatious as Charlie, though."

Edward quirked a brow at me as he handed me the worksheets that Mr. Banner had finally passed around. There were three pages of repetitive review. "That's right. I almost forgot. You were poor before, weren't you?"

I only nodded in response.

"…I don't suppose you'll tell me why we weren't going to college?" He paused to eye me wearily. "I wasn't a moron there, was I?"

I laughed at the idea. "Didn't I already tell you that you're exceptionally talented and intelligent whichever universe I find you in? No, you were brilliant before too."

"Then why not go to college?" He asked, looking puzzled.

I bit my lip. "Pass," I finally said.

He snorted. "We're not playing twenty questions, Bella. But I'll honor the sentiment…even if I _am_ going mad with curiosity…" I didn't rise to the bait though, and he sighed. "Alright, alright. Why don't we split up? I'll do the first worksheet, you do the last, and whoever gets finished with theirs first and tackle the third, and then we'll consolidate our answers."

"You mean we should _cheat_?" I asked, teasing.

Edward cast me a withering look. "As if you don't already know everything on here! No, Bella, I'm saying we should be _efficient._ "

I laughed. "Sure, sure." I rifled through to the last worksheet and began to work through the questions as a comfortable silence settled over us, only the sound of pencil on paper and the quiet chatter of the classroom in our ears.

Inwardly I sighed in contentment. _Maybe Mondays aren't so awful after all._

* * *

A few fresh bruises later (playing badminton with Mike Newton had an _entirely_ different result from last time; I believe he actually thought the object of the game was to cause physical pain to his partner), I found myself driving home, deep in thought.

Mostly, of course, I just thought about Edward.

Part of it was habit, and part of it was thinking about the fact that he'd walked me all the way to gym. He hadn't caressed my cheek with searing fingers as he had in the past, but he'd laughed at something I'd said. That was almost as good to me now. _It's certainly all I'm going to get._

I shoved that voice away with the rest of my unpleasant thoughts. Nope. Today had been a good day, and I wasn't going to sour what good mood I'd mustered up thinking about how improbable it was that this happiness would last.

My hand was halfway to the doorknob of my house when I saw it.

A dead squirrel, its brown nose just barely brushing the knob of the door.

My stomach turned in disgust at the sight, and I bit my fist to keep from screaming or throwing up.

I'd seen my fair share of violence and pain; I'd barely escaped a vampire serial killer (to be fair, though, almost all vampires are serial killers) with my life intact.

But vampires didn't pin dead animals to my door. At least, if they did, Edward had removed the evidence before I came upon it. And even then, it probably would have been a poorly contrived joke from Emmett.

 _It's just an animal,_ I thought as I stared. _It's just an animal…_ But it was also a symbol, a threat. It was intended to frighten.

 _Whoever did this did their homework,_ I thought grimly, hands tightening over my backpack. Charlie used the garage whereas I just preferred to park my truck in the driveway. He rarely if ever used the front door.

My thoughts went back to Angela Weber. She'd warned me to check my text messages…could this possibly be her, getting back at me for ignoring her so studiously?

But a _dead squirrel?_ It didn't exactly seem like Angela's style. Maybe Mike, maybe any number of people at Forks High. In fact, based just on a dead rodent pinned to my door, I had no way of knowing anything. Maybe this was a reference to a bullying technique I'd supposedly used on someone else. Maybe just who had done this would have been clear as day to Izzy

 _Charlie did say she was vegetarian,_ I thought. _Maybe that was a well known fact that she didn't approve of cruelty to animals?_

Too many directions this could be going in. But if it _was_ a message to Izzy, an emulation of an earlier bullying game played by Izzy, then it meant it would definitely have to be girls responsible. Nobody ever acknowledged Izzy's apparent attraction to Edward, but if anyone knew, it wouldn't be anyone friends with Jake (meaning most of the guys at Forks High) seeing as it never got back to him.

Though the squirrel grew more and more horrifying to me the more I looked at it, I found myself caring less and less about who left it there. There were too many people who hated Izzy, and the _vast_ majority of them were irrelevant. If it _was_ a group of girls headed by Angela, they'd hardly try to rape me. I found it difficult to fear much more.

A voice in my head whispered, _You don't care, or you don't want to risk investigating and have Edward find out?_

A bitter smile spread over my lips as I turned away from the squirrel, making my way towards the garage door. I'd always _hated_ it when Edward hid things from me, but this was different. For one thing, it was just another threat, another attempt at intimidation. Those were hardly new. Even if he _was_ inclined to be worried, _I_ wasn't, so why rile him up at all? And for another…what, was I supposed to ask him: _hey, did I ever pin a dead squirrel to your door?_

Nope. Not going to happen.

With clear intentions to return to the front door with rubber gloves and a trash bag to dispose of the squirrel, I made my way inside from the garage. But Charlie quickly derailed me.

"Hey, Bells!" Charlie called from the kitchen. "Come check this out, will you?"

I blinked before sighing and reluctantly making my way towards him. He sounded so _excited_ , and I'd lost much of my own good mood in confronting the stupid squirrel.

When I got to the kitchen, I took in with some confusion the large blueprint laid out in front of him. "Um…what's that?" I asked as I peered closer. It was utterly unintelligible to me.

"A helicopter pad!" Charlie said with a boyish, delighted grin up at me. He was seated at the table where the plan was spread out, nearly filling it up. In his right hand was a cup of steaming tea. _Well, that's good. He's_ moved _recently._

"Um…" A _helicopter pad?_ "Do we have a helicopter?" The question slipped out before I could stop myself. _Darn it! He doesn't need another reason to think you're crazy!_

"Not yet," Charlie said cheerfully. "Thought I'd do this responsibly and build the pad first. It'll go on top of the garage."

"Ah," I said, scratching my head in mystification. After a month of living with him, I could hardly say my father as a millionaire was eccentric. But building a helicopter pad…? " _Why?_ "

Thankfully, Charlie didn't seem offended. "Cause it's fun!" Charlie said brightly, sipping his tea. "I visited the elementary school last Friday, and the kids were united in wishing they could ride a helicopter. Well, they mostly just wanted to fly, but helicopters were especially popular among the boys," Charlie said. "And I don't know. It sounds like fun! Think of it, Bells. If I learned how to pilot one, I could give the kids rides all the time. Maybe I could even teach _them_."

My bewilderment softened into something like hesitant acceptance. It was eccentric. Part of me doubted he'd _ever_ learn to fly. But if he just wanted to make some fun for the local kids, how could I fault that? "Sounds like fun, Dad."

Charlie regarded the plan thoughtfully before laughing. "If we're being honest with each other, though, I just really want to fly a helicopter. This gives me a pretty good excuse, huh?"

He looked so happy, so boyish and playful, that I wondered if the old adage "money can't buy happiness" ought to be revised. I'd never seen him so animated since the switch. Well…since ever, actually. "Definitely."

"Construction will be rushed," Charlie said, somewhat apologetically now. "It may be hard to sleep for a few nights."

"That's fine," I said immediately. If I didn't have to sleep as much, maybe I'd have less miserable nights.

Charlie grinned up at me. "You're being awfully easygoing about this. What, you're not going to whine about how I should be building you your own private mall on the roof of our garage instead?"

I snorted. "Somehow, I think I'll survive."

"You've gotten a lot less materialistic," Charlie commented. "I'm impressed. A year ago, I would have laughed myself silly if someone had predicted that."

I shrugged before vaguely saying, "I guess." It's amazing how much I _don't_ say to my father.

"Alright, alright," Charlie said, shooing me with his hand. "You'll be eating dinner with me, so I'm content to let you escape my clutches for now."

With a start, I remembered the stupid squirrel. "Thanks, Dad," I said as I moved towards the drawer with trash bags in them.

Charlie glanced after me. "What's that for?"

I smiled grimly. "Just going to do a bit of cleaning."

* * *

 **A/N:** Pretty creepy stuff, right? Ugh. I hope I don't inspire any sickos.

I'd love to hear your thoughts! One or two reviewers expression curiosity over how things would play out with Bella and Edward once they get to school. And while nobody actually seems to notice a change just yet, um...well, at least they were at school? (Don't worry. There will be SOME reaction. Just not this chapter.)

By the way, I'd just like to express my gratitude in those of you who have continued to read this. Sometimes I think I'm fairly good at writing, but as I'm sure you've all noticed, I'm still a novice at it and learning a lot. Every time a reviewer chooses to see the positive instead of the flaws that this story is riddled with, I'm both amazed and thankful. Your patience and positivity truly means a lot to me.

So, if you want to give me a heart attack by proving that you stuck around long enough to read this chapter, leave a review~


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N:** I'm so sorry that this chapter is late! Over the summer, I decided I liked posting things in the early afternoon, but now that school is back in session, that's just not an option. But I'm so busy that now that it's the weekend, I completely forgot! So now I'm posting it super late at night.

 **WARNING (Actual warning this time):** The first scene in this chapter is a nightmare, and it gets graphic. Violent. Creepy. Disturbing. If you are of delicate sensibilities, please just skip to the end of the italics.

 **Warning (continued)** : Mike Newton makes an entrance again in the middle of the chapter, and he's cruder than is seen since the first chapter. I apologize for it in advance. Still no swear words, but...yeah. Definitely crude.

 **Disclaimer:** Yes, that's right. I have poured who knows how many hours into a story that I have no hope of _ever_ publishing (not that it's good enough to publish) because I'm incredibly unoriginal and lazy and, y'know, don't own any of the rights.

Chapter 10:

 _I was walking in a room so thick with darkness that every breath felt like molasses in my lungs. Though I could make out nothing, not even a hand before my eyes, I stumbled forward anyway. There was nothing else to do but to move, after all._

 _Finally after a short eternity of wandering, I made out light in the distance, just a pinprick at first. Part of me knew that the light should have illuminated my surroundings more, even at this distance. But the darkness was almost tangible, and even light could only gain a small purchase._

 _When I got near enough, I saw that the light, just a lantern like I might take camping with me, barely chased the darkness further than a few feet in diameter. And I realized that something was on the ground by the lantern._

 _A...a hand?_

 _When I got close enough to make out the specific features of the hand, my breath froze in my chest._

 _The first thing I noticed was the blood. It dripped from a multitude of scrapes and from the jagged, torn fingernails. But as I stared at it, transfixed by my horror, I realized it was twitching, seizing up and then relaxing again at random as if the hand were uncontrollable. It reminded me of the way a spider's legs twitched after it was killed._

 _My eyes traced from the palm down to the wrist it was attached to, the arm, up, up…then it disappeared into the inky darkness._

 _I grabbed the lamp and jerked it to the form, forcing the thick cloud of darkness to flee before the weak light._

" _Jake…" I whispered, stumbling back a step in horror._

 _He smiled a bloody smile up at me. "Guess I deserve it, huh, Bells?"_

 _Was it my Jacob? Could it really be…_

" _Had it coming," he grunted, dragging himself to his feet with those awful, mangled hands. He swayed on his feet. "I want you to see this, 'kay?" A pause for a labored breath. "I want you to watch." Then he limped, leaving bloody footprints behind him with every step. After a few steps, he turned. Blood was dripping from a cut in his forehead down into his eyes. He didn't wipe it away. "Come on. You shouldn't miss this."_

 _I took a step, and a shudder ran the length of my body. The floor felt wet, and I didn't dare look down to confirm that I'd stepped in blood._

 _We walked in silence, and all I could hear was the sickening_ squish _of his bloody feet on the floor and his ragged, broken breath. I tried to open my mouth to speak, to beg him to get help. But I just heard his words in my head._ I want you to see this, 'kay? I want you to watch.

" _There. Do you see her?" He came to a stop. He turned to look at me with another smile full of blood and chipped teeth. "Watch."_

 _It was Izzy. She looked like she could have just dropped off to sleep. I knew it was her from the fresh blond highlights and the flawless makeup. She was dressed in something tastelessly revealing as usual, but her expression at least was peaceful._

" _Jake, what…"_

 _He'd come to a stop over her. And kneeling gingerly at her feet, he regarded her for a moment. He raised a shaking hand…_

 _And brought it down hard on her face._

" _Jake!" I stumbled back in horror. But the girl did not yet awaken._

 _He began to laugh low. "Watch. I want you to watch," he said to me. And then he brought up his hand and fisted it.  
_

" _Jake, don't—"_

 _He brought it down with savage force. Her beautiful face cracked and bled, and all the while she slept._

 _His other hand tore at the cloth, leaving her chest naked. He had to have seen that chest a thousand times, but the intention to shame was not lost on me. I watched as hands that had traced her skin once with something like tenderness now fisted her skin and clawed, leaving trails of her blood and his mixed. My stomach turned in disgust, and my knees gave out._

 _He yanked at her hair with a strength that I'd only felt a fraction of that once. He brutalized her perfect, unblemished skin until she was purple and a dark, ruby red. Though his own bones gave way beneath the pressure of every hit, though he continued to bleed and bleed and_ bleed _, he never hesitated._

 _He broke every bone in ever finger, turning to grin back at me every time I screamed. He laughed low in his throat when I vomited. And though I screamed and begged and pleaded, he continued his savage work._

 _I clawed at my face, wishing desperately that I could just shut my eyes. But somehow his wish had me transfixed._ I want you to see this, kay? I want you to watch _ **.**_ _"Jake, please, l-leave her alone!"_

 _Jake laughed, a cold sound. "Oh, is_ that _my name?"_

 _And then he turned, and I realized I'd mistaken the bloody face._

 _It was Edward._

My eyes opened to the sound of another fist cracking against bone.

I stumbled to my feet and ran to the bathroom and dry heaved for half an hour.

When my stomach had settled, I glanced tiredly at the clock in the bathroom. Only six in the morning.

I heard another _slam_ resound throughout the house, and I rubbed tiredly at my eyes. Izzy's brutal beating had been nothing more than the rushed construction for Charlie's helicopter pad. Instead of keeping me up, it had only influenced my dreams to take a distinctly more violent turn.

On knees trembling with exhaustion, I forced myself to my feet and stumbled back to my bed. I could still see Edward's face, twisted and broken and bloody, lips parting to reveal bleeding gums and broken teeth…

"It was definitely Jake at first," I whispered to myself, trying to force the image from my mind. "That was just stupid dream logic. Edward wouldn't do that, not even in my dreams." I didn't sound very convinced even to myself.

A knock at the door interrupted my attempted brainwashing.

"Yeah?" I called blearily, trying not to sound dead tired.

"Um…someone is here to see you," Charlie said, poking his head in. Now that he knew for certain that his daughter didn't sleep naked anymore, he'd gotten less and less afraid of walking in on me in the morning. He whistled. "You look tired, kid."

"I'm fine," I said, sitting up and swinging my feet over the ledge of the bed. "I'm already up. Who is it?"

Charlie ruffled his hair, looking a bit perplexed. "Um…it's Alice. She looks upset." He paused uncertainly. "If it was anyone else, I'd tell them it could wait, but—"

 _Alice?_ "No, that's fine," I said immediately, stumbling to my feet. Though I swayed for a second with vertigo, I managed to get to the door without falling flat on my face. "Where is she?"

"Downstairs in the family room," Charlie said, stepping aside. "I'm going to go get ready for the day, okay?"

I smiled at him. Some things never changed; he never hovered. "Yeah, that's fine. I'll call you if I need you." Although _why_ I'd need his help with Alice I have no idea.

When I got downstairs, Alice was perched on the edge of a seat on one of the couches, looking lost in thought yet distinctly on edge.

"Alice?"

Her eyes snapped towards me, and I thought I could recognize something of the old Alice in her eyes. She looked like she hated me, true, and she was buried in a gray hoodie that would have given the old Alice hives just looking at.

But at least she wasn't looking at me like I was irrelevant. At least she wasn't looking like she'd given up on caring.

"I need to talk to you," Alice said, jamming her hands into the front pocket of the hoodie. "Where can we talk that's private?"

"My room, I guess," I said after hesitating a bit. Really we probably could have talked here (Charlie took long showers), but she probably would appreciate a location that _felt_ more private if nothing else.

Alice raised her eyebrows as if to say, _Well? What the heck are you waiting for?_

I shifted awkwardly. "Right. Follow me."

I turned on my heel and made my way towards my bedroom, up another floor. When we got there, she snorted. "Nice. Convenient that I had to walk through your entire house just to get to your room."

 _Why would I care?_ I blinked at her, honestly puzzled before I remembered that Izzy's house was something impressive. _Oh. She must think I'm trying to brag. Geez, Swan. Wake up!_ "It's where my room is," I said lamely by way of excuse. Coughing, I cast my eyes over my barren room. It was a pitiful place to receive guests seeing as the only thing in it now was a bed and the desk since I'd finally allowed Charlie to get rid of the couch…"Um, there isn't really anywhere to sit but on my bed now…"

"I'll stand," Alice said, shutting the door. Finally she turned back to me, and I braced myself for what I felt inevitably would be resentment and anger. "What happened to Edward last weekend?"

I blinked in surprise. "He hasn't…told you?"

Alice scoffed. "Not that you haven't already exploited this before, but _obviously_ that idiot wouldn't voluntarily offer any information about himself unless he was one hundred percent certain it wouldn't alarm me," Alice said.

"He must be waiting to tell you tonight," I said. "It's sort of imperative."

Alice nose wrinkled in disgust. " _Sort of_ imperative? Your vocabulary may have improved drastically, but your confidence is _pathetic_ ," Alice complained, and I bit back a smile. She looked so much like my Alice just then. "It's _imperative_ , then? Well, just make sure _he_ thinks so as well."

"Did you really come all the way here just to say that?" I asked, shifting uncomfortably.

Alice's eyes darted around the room. "Honestly, I just wanted to see it for myself," she mumbled, edging towards my closet. "May I?" She was practically already inside.

"…Sure?" It came out like a question. I was completely lost.

Alice stepped in my closet and flicked on a light. After a few seconds, she began to cackle. "Oh my _gosh_ , what _is_ this?" Alice had grabbed a sweater off a rack, and she came back to show me. "This is _hideous!_ "

I cracked a smile. "Yeah. It's nice to have a few ugly sweaters on hand."

"This isn't just ugly," Alice snickered. "This should be _burned_."

 _Is there still a fashionista buried deep inside of her?_ "…Alice?" I wrapped my arms around my middle. "Did you come here just to look at my closet?"

Alice didn't answer, but I could hear her still rifling through the closet. When she came out and spoke, she completely ignored my question. "Where did you store your other clothes?"

I shook my head. "I donated them to Good Will and other thrift stores," I said.

Alice didn't look impressed. "Uh huh. Sure."

I scratched my head, perplexed. Why wouldn't she believe me? "You can ask Charlie. He had to help me unload the bags."

"So you're trying to tell me that you just donated _thousands_ of dollars worth of clothing?" Alice checked, clearly unimpressed.

"I'm not trying to tell you," I said, a hint of irritation leaking into my voice. "I _did_ do that."

"And then you hit up some thrift stores for your new wardrobe?" Alice shook her head, as if already dismissing my inevitable affirmative. "Where's your bathroom?"

Somehow I doubted she was asking to use my toilet. I pointed at the door next to the closet, and she briskly made her way inside. "I could get this brand at a _gas station_ ," Alice said, poking her head out to hold up my body wash. "I get that you're sick of money, but don't you think you're a bit over the top?"

 _First Charlie and Edward, now Alice…_ "Do you really think someone like me has _any_ right to enjoy wealth?" I said testily.

Alice's hazel eyes darkened visibly, and the hand propping up my body wash fell to her side. "So that's what this is about, then?" She scoffed into the silence of the room. "I suppose you'd be wearing sackcloth and ashes if the era was right."

 _Sackcloth? Ashes?_ "I don't understand," I admitted.

She laughed a nasty laugh. "So at least _that_ hasn't changed. You're still not religious." She disappeared inside of the room. "Still too good for Mr. Weber's sermons, eh? Well, if we're being honest with each other, I only go every week because my mom would cry her eyes out for weeks and declare me and her failures if I skipped. And for your information, it's a Jewish penance/mourning ritual."

I cracked a smile. "For someone who'd rather skip, you seem to have paid attention."

"I go in and out," she admitted indifferently. "Information from all sources must be considered to have _some_ value, even if it's not a lot. At least I have some background in the most dominant religion in the US: Christianity. You can't say the same, apparently."

"Nope," I said, sitting on the bed and tucking my feet under me. "Well? Are you satisfied?"

"Not a trace of makeup," Alice said as she stepped out. "I assume you're going to tell me you donated that as well?"

"I just threw it in the trash," I said. "Few places want used makeup they didn't sell, and that's too much work to figure out."

Alice stared at me for a moment before shaking her head, apparently giving up on that avenue of questioning. "Alright. Final question: where are you hiding your car?"

"I sold it," I said. "Honestly no clue where it is right now."

"…I suppose I'm not even surprised," Alice grumbled, looking away from me now, shaking her head silently as she paced in thought. Finally, though, she turned to me, utterly exasperated. "You have _got_ to be kidding me. There is _no way_ that you downsized this much. It's not real. Not with the school giving you this much crap. There must be a stash, a backup plan for when you crack and can't take it anymore."

Interesting. Whereas Edward wrote of Forks High as useless and hardly worth any note, Alice was anticipating my breaking character into the more socially acceptable Izzy. _Does the bullying affect her more?_

I wasn't quite sure what to tell her. The closest thing I had to a stash was her, actually. If I had Edward and Alice, I just _didn't_ care about the rest of Forks. "It doesn't bother me much," I said, wishing it sounded believable. It was _true_ , but my voice lacked the confidence that Alice apparently required.

"Uh huh," Alice snorted. "Well, let's just say _hypothetically_ that it gets too much for you. What will you do?"

I ran a hand through my impressively tangled hair. "Not go to school for a few days I guess," I reflected. I'd done that before when it got too much, the weight of being in Izzy's body. "But honestly, I don't care what they think of me."

"What if they _scare_ you?" Alice checked, stopping her pacing to take in my reaction.

"I'd probably report anyone who scared me," I said.

"You can't expel every person who means to hurt you," Alice said. "You wouldn't be left with much of a high school."

"It's already not much of a high school," I snapped. "And if I become _that_ much of hindrance to the public peace, then I guess _I'd_ just leave like they want me too."

Alice shook her head in disbelief. "Would you even _consider_ reverting?"

I shrugged and admitted, "Honestly, I wouldn't know how. This is who I am now."

Alice searched my eyes for a long moment, and if she found what she was looking for or not, I have no clue. Finally she looked away and sighed. "Alright, then. Thanks for letting me inspect your room and such," she said, so airy that it didn't really feel like a thank you at all. Oh, well. At least she _said_ it.

"Sure," I said, getting to my feet.

"Tell Charlie bye for me," Alice said as she exited my room, not even needing me to see her out. I followed her anyway.

"Sure," I said again.

"That's a nasty, noncommittal word," Alice commented. "You shouldn't say it so much. And _don't_ say 'sure'. It's just like saying yes with none of the conviction behind it."

 _Sure._ "That's something to consider," I agreed, trying not to smile in case she turned around and caught the friendly expression.

Alice snorted. "Is _yes_ so hard to say?"

"No," I said.

Alice braced herself against the wall and groaned. "Izzy, Bella, whoever you are, you're the _worst_."

I grinned at her back. "Yeah."

" _Oh my gosh_ …" Alice hurried down the main staircase and made her way towards the front door. "You're _trying_ to drive me crazy," she complained.

I lunged forward and opened up the door for her before she could. "Thanks for coming, Alice," I said. "It's been pleasant."

Alice sighed. "Yes, I'm sure for you it _was_."

"See you at school." When her eyes snapped towards me again, I quickly amended it with, "Maybe."

"…Right back at you," she said with narrowed eyes.

When she got to her car, I finally let the front door fall shut.

I shook my head. _What a bizarre morning._

* * *

"She came to your _house_?"

My focus really should have been on the lab we were doing, but I couldn't quite help at least a glance at him. Edward wasn't nearly as concerned by the lab as I was, and his handsome features were set into a mixture of surprise and concern. "She claimed she wanted to talk to me about last weekend, but mostly she just looked around my room."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, an emotion he often displayed when he spoke of Alice in the other universe before I became acquainted with her there as well. "So she found a way after all…"

"Have you guys _talked_ about this before?" I asked, surprised. "…My _room_?"

Edward sighed and shook his head. "Pass."

I quirked a brow at him. " _Pass_? I wasn't aware we were playing twenty questions," I said cheekily, remembering a time when I'd similarly tried to "pass" on a question.

Edward smirked at that. "It's not my secret to tell, which I'm sure was the case when you made a similar request to me," Edward said pointedly.

 _Why would she be so interested by my bedroom? And why would she have spoken to Edward about that?_ "But it might come up tonight?" I checked.

Edward sighed. "Only if she wants it to," Edward said finally. "I won't push her."

 _His first loyalty is to her._ It was an easy enough conclusion to draw from what he said. He may be playing at being friends with me, but Alice was still his number one priority

 _Well, not necessarily... He won't tell_ anyone's _secrets. He wouldn't even be talking to Alice about_ your _secrets if you weren't okay with it._

But still. Alice _is_ inevitably going to be _significantly_ more important to him than me. We've only been friends a few days, almost a week now compared to the years and years that he and Alice have been friends.

 _But then again, Edward was Alice's brother for decades before he met me. And it's obvious who was more important then._

… _But it's also obvious that he's_ not _in love with me now. And this is even without factoring in his falling in love with her this time around…_

"Makes sense," I said after a hilariously long pause. Edward glanced at me, one of his brows lifting a bit. He obviously had thought I was going to drop it seeing as, you know, I just _hadn't_ answered him, but that was before my thoughts took a distinctly painful turn that was beginning to drive me insane. I would do anything to get him talking again as soon as possible. "She definitely wants to hear about last weekend, by the way."

Edward sighed. "She does, does she?" This time his focus remained on the lab.

"She seems to think you won't bring it up if you think it'll alarm her," I said.

"And you believe her?" Edward said, scribbling down the measurements he was taking in his notebook. His reluctance to meet my eyes spoke _volumes_.

"Well, it's not like I haven't ever seen you lie to protect someone's comfort before," I said, a small amount of irritation leaking into my voice. "It's one of your more annoying habits, deceiving people to spare them pain."

I watched his eyes roll, and I sighed, resting my head on my hand. He glanced at my relaxed pose and scoffed. "You're not going to help, then?"

"You do it all practically on your own," I said. But I grabbed the lab sheet anyway and read the next line of directions. "You didn't answer me," I noted.

"Yes, I _do_ have a bad habit of being efficient even if I'm working alone, but that doesn't excuse you from at least _trying_ , Bella," Edward griped.

"That's not what I meant," I said, narrowing my eyes.

Edward paused his movements, and then he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Sorry. Would you believe me if I said that I'm not _really_ afraid to answer, I just wanted to see if I could get away with changing the subject?"

"Sure," I snorted. "I've always known you were manipulative."

Edward chuckled, a self deprecating sound. "I deserved that." He cleared his throat before I could respond. "To answer your question, no, I'm not going to lie about last weekend. Unfortunately, the more sympathetic she is to my plight, the more gratitude your rescue of me will evoke. It works to your advantage just this once for her to worry."

I winced. "Sorry that your drive to protect people is at war with itself."

"It's not," Edward said somewhat flatly. "I just told you that I planned to tell her, didn't I? That's hardly the product of a person at war with himself."

I peeked at him. "…But you'd spare her if you could, right?"

Edward sighed. "She's just…been through a lot," he murmured, hands stilling as he thought. "Is it so wrong to want to spare her some anxiety? When situations become like ours, at some point, it seems inevitable that we start lying to each other."

"But would she ever lie to you?" I probed. This really was a delicate subject; it would be very easy for Edward to get defensive and shut our discussion down entirely.

Edward scoffed derisively at the idea. "She _tried_! But I always eventually found out."

"Wouldn't you have wished that she'd just told you to begin with?" I asked before I could remind myself that I really didn't know what I was talking about.

But Edward didn't _seem_ angry. Just…pensive. "Of course. But for one thing, it didn't matter in the end whether she tried or not. I inevitably figured it out. And for another…it's a way of saying that she loves me, to try to protect me."

"And it's a way of saying she doesn't love herself enough to ask for help," I said softly.

When Edward turned to look at me now, his eyes took me aback. He looked… _delighted_. As if I'd just given him something fabulously interesting to debate about. "Are you saying that the martyr loves herself less because she loves a cause or a person more than herself? I would argue that to be so noble would ensure some form of self love or respect."

I eyed him warily. I did _not_ want to have an intellectual debate. Honestly, I was just frustrated with him for having lied to me in the past, so I might have gotten a bit carried away in pressing the issue.

But I wasn't stumped quite yet. "You can't know that's the case with Alice. Somehow I _doubt_ it's much consolation to her sense of self worth that she's sacrificing for you. She could be trying to protect you and hate herself the entire time, tell herself that she's keeping you from worrying about her because she's not _worth_ worrying about."

Edward held my eyes, and from a moment I was lost in beautiful jade green. Then he sighed, and I remembered that I was supposed to be holding my own in this debate, not dreamily staring into his eyes. "You're right, of course. Up to a certain extent. I was only arguing for the sake of arguing," he admitted, somewhat sheepishly.

"I could tell," I said, trying not to sound as disgruntled as I felt.

He laughed, and the sound soothed my momentary irritation at the memory of the times when Edward had tried to 'protect' me. "I know that we should all have been more open. But we only stopped being that way because it got to the point where we were honestly afraid that if we applied any more pressure to each other, we'd all snap." He was quiet for a moment, but I didn't dare speak yet. Finally he said, "And in the end, we were right to be afraid. Everything _did_ snap, and Emmett and Rosalie had to leave."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. It was all I could think to say.

Edward turned and actually _glared_ at me. "No," he said, even wagging a finger at me. "You are _not_ going to assume _any_ responsibility for Izzy anymore."

"What am I, a dog?" I snapped, pushing his hand down, and at that he smiled ruefully. "And I wasn't saying sorry _for_ her. It's just the natural thing to say."

"Well, you're not allowed to say the 'natural' thing," Edward said, but he looked like he was teasing me. "In the future say, 'oh, that's so sad' or 'I empathize with your pain—"

I punched his shoulder, groaning. "Who would _say_ that—"

He laughed freely at that, pushing my hand away from him. "Well, you've already exhausted your right to say 'I'm sorry' unless you're actually apologizing. If you'd prefer to come up with your own new ways to communicate sympathy, I suppose I can respect that as a fellow artist, but I was only trying to be _helpful_ —"

"It wasn't just sympathy," I interrupted, and my voice softened with my sincerity. "I'm truly, _truly_ sorry for what's happened to you all."

His green eyes, warmed by laughter, searched mine for a moment in which all I could hear was the thud of my own heart in my ears. The classroom noise was nothing more than a hum in the background. "I know," he said, reaching forward and touching my hand. "Thank you."

I was jolted from my bubble by the cruel, singsong words of Mike Newton. "Cullen and Swan, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S—"

I realized abruptly that I'd gotten much closer to Edward than was strictly necessary for the lab, and I tore my hand from Edward's and scooted pointedly away from him.

Edward was dealing with Mike, a mixture between disgust, amusement, and incredulity on his face. "Don't you have a _lab_ to be doing?" Edward wondered, shaking his head. "I _can't believe_ you just started singing that. Really. We're _seventeen_ , Newton."

"Bout time you started acting your age, Cullen," Mike grinned, eyes dark with hatred. "Me and the boys have been wondering if you'd be a virgin forever. And she's not a _horrible_ choice. I mean, she may have slept with just about anyone with a dick between his legs, but experience has to count for something, right?"

Edward just stared at Mike for the longest moment before finally shaking his head and turning away.

"Oh, _wow_ ," Mike sneered, turning to his seat partner. "Did you see that? I bet he _literally_ just thought, 'he's not worth it'!"

I bit my lip and inspected Edward. His face was dangerously calm, his fingers sure and swift as he finished taking measurements. "Are you okay?" I asked quietly, hopefully too quiet for Mike to hear above his own mocking and jeering.

"I hate that he can say things like that," Edward murmured back. "About you. About me. But he's right. He's just _not_ worth it." He turned to smile at me wryly. "He's right. I _did_ think that, almost word for word."

I bit back a reflexive giggle, but he must have seen it in my face anyway because he chuckled as well. "Absurd, isn't it? The only people capable of intelligent thought in this room can be predicted so easily by the most insipid moron in perhaps the entire school!"

"Not quite," I said. "He thought he'd get a bigger rise out of you than he did."

Edward snorted. "No he didn't. He's felt my right hook before, and whatever he says, he doesn't _really_ want to feel it again any time soon."

I quirked a brow. " _Wow_ , Edward. You sound so _manly_ , so _macho_ …"

Edward laughed, this time at himself. "I suppose I'm not the most credible source for knowing Mike's true intentions. But if you want to try asking him for a different answer, I'm not sure you'll get any more accurate an idea of them."

"True enough," I admitted, and his smile in return was dazzling.

For a moment I was utterly and completely lost in that smile.

And then Mr. Banner's voice broke through the bubble. "Five more minutes before cleanup! Make sure you get all your measurements so that you can do calculations and questions later!"

Edward sighed, and I realized that I'd been gaping at his profile stupidly. I felt a mortified burst of gratitude for Edward's being enough of a gentleman to leave me to my senseless gawking in privacy. "And we only just now finished!" Edward said disgustedly. "You've thoroughly distracted me more today than you ever have before." He turned to level me with his eyes. "Well? Are you satisfied?"

I rolled my eyes. "This lab was probably just longer than usual, Edward."

"No, it wasn't!" He protested. "I looked over it when he first handed it out, and I calculated that it would take approximately only half of the given time. And it looks like we've used almost all of it."

"And are your mental predictions _accurate_?" I checked dryly, somehow already knowing the answer.

He answered without hesitation. "Yes. Always." _Yup. Knew it._ "Well? How are you going to take responsibility for this? We've become _significantly_ less productive since we became friends, you know."

I knew he was just teasing me, but I considered it anyway. Not because I _actually_ thought I owed him anything but because it was an excuse to give him something. It was a luxury peculiar to this universe that I was coming to particularly enjoy. "I could pay for dinner tonight," I offered.

Edward recoiled in disgust. "Tch! I already owe you _thirty thousand dollars_ , Bella! We're _not_ —"

"You're _never_ going to pay that back!" I interrupted, feeling my left eye twitch in irritation. " _How_ many times do we have to argue over this?"

"You can't just keep spending money on me, Bella!" Edward shook his head, setting his jaw stubbornly. He refused to look at me again as he began to pack up the lab. After a second of glaring at him, I followed suit, purposefully working quickly to try and finish before him.

"Why not?" I challenged as I worked. "It's not my money to begin with, and you _know_ that Charlie would want me to spend it on you and Alice."

"I don't _want_ Charlie's money," Edward said, and the tension in his voice sent me backpedalling immediately. Whoops. I'd touched another nerve, and this was a subject I didn't want to open up again for discussion.

"Look," I said finally, and when he didn't pause his movements to listen, I tried his tactic. I tentatively reached a hand out and let it rest on his, and I got the desired effect. It stilled, and he turned to look at me. "In the other universe, not only was I poor, but I also had _terrible_ luck. I was _always_ saved by you on top of not really deserving your friendship or kindness. So this time, now that _I_ have something to give, I want to give it. You have no idea how long a girl can stay up at night, wondering why the heck someone is wasting his time with her when she doesn't give _anything_ back."

His eyes softened, but his words were pointed. "Bella, if you've been in my position and know how frustrating it is, _why_ do you keep trying to insist on keeping me here?"

I pouted and retracted my hand. "I don't _need_ anything from you! Your friendship is the only thing I want!"

"Well, then, you should know that you've already given _me_ all that's necessary," Edward said. "So _stop_ trying to unbalance us any further!"

I groaned, massaging my scalp in frustration. "So, what. You'll _only_ feel better once you've paid me thirty thousand dollars?"

Edward grinned, apparently cheered by my frustration and the weakness that it hinted at. "Naturally."

"If I'd insisted on doing that," I began, unable to keep the aggravation completely from my voice, "returning _every favor_ , you would have had to almost get hit by a car and—" _become almost irresistible to my inner murderer._ I snapped my mouth shut and looked away furiously. "You're being _absurd_."

Edward chuckled as if he thought me terribly humorous and surprised me by reaching over and brushing the hair from my eyes. The skin burned where he touched, and my breath abruptly caught in my throat. He seemed ignorant of the effect he had on me (of course). "Were you _this_ difficult before? Or have you gotten a bit too addicted to being the hero?"

I wanted to tell him it was just because he was being ridiculous, but I at last grudgingly admitted, "…No. I resisted favors from you regardless."

Edward laughed. "Well, that settles it. I'll treat both you and Alice tonight."

My jaw dropped. " _What?_ How did you get _that_ from what I said?"

Edward smiled, all innocence though he looked like he wanted to laugh at my expression. "I thought you were going to be more reasonable."

"Like heck!" I snapped. "Besides, now that I think about it, it doesn't make sense for us to go out in public at all together. It's too weird for us three to be seen in Forks together, and there are too many prying eyes anyway. Unless you want to try Port Angelus again?"

Edward pouted, and I realized immediately how stupid and ineffectual it must have looked when I'd done it earlier. But then, _everything_ I did looked stupid compared to him. "Oh, come on. When it's _you_ paying, we can go out to eat, but when it's _me_ —"

"Let's go to someone's house," I interrupted. "Then someone can make dinner."

Edward narrowed his eyes at me and didn't immediately respond. I narrowed my own back and waited for him to dare try and offer his own home.

I decided to make the first move seeing as he was content just to glare at me. "If it's your house, then it will just be your mother cooking," I said.

"She has a debt to you still as well," Edward said coolly. "But I'm not exactly useless in the kitchen either. And if we go to your house, you'll just order something, right? And that's _more money_."

"Your preoccupation with money is _annoying_ ," I said flatly, and he snorted but quickly reverted back to his former expression that resembled stone more than anything. "What would happen if I bought you a gift for, say, Christmas? Or your birthday?" _Which I don't actually know. I should find that out from someone._ "Would you accept it?"

Edward shook his head. "We're not talking about that." _He didn't answer. He hasn't decided yet his policy on gifts._ Sometimes I just wanted to hit him upside the head.

"Alright, everyone! You should have everything packed up!" Mr. Banner called. "You may have noticed that we're not working to the bell. We still have another five minutes left." I raised my brows at Edward meaningfully. _Ha! We're not_ that _unproductive after all! I bet you didn't take_ that _into account with your mental calculations!_

He rolled his eyes at me and nodded towards the front of the room before looking back at Mr. Banner. I only barely stopped myself from sticking my tongue at him.

"I've graded your tests, and because I just _know_ how desperately you all want to know how you did on them—" cue a chorus of groans throughout the class, "—I've decided to give you guys the entire weekend to break it to your parents!"

"I'm _dead meat_ ," Mike moaned from behind us, and this time Edward returned my smirk.

"Nervous?" Edward murmured to me quietly as Mr. Banner began passing out tests.

"Not really," I said. It had been _painfully_ easy the second time around.

Mr. Banner handed Edward back his test, and I watched him for some hint of a reaction. When he glanced at me and found my eyes on him, he rolled his eyes and showed me the test. A perfect one hundred, of course. "Did you expect any less?" He asked airily.

"Don't be arrogant," I chided.

"It's not arrogance if it's founded in reality," Edward corrected. "And, again, we weren't talking about this. I think we should do my house because Alice is already comfortable there. It's a safe haven for us, so I'd predict that she'd be more open there than perhaps any other place on a subconscious level."

It made sense. But it wasn't the _only_ thing that made sense. "But she seems to have an interest in my house," I pressed.

"Well, that interest has been satisfied already," Edward said.

 _Darn._ I held his eyes, searching for any sign of weakness. When I saw none, I sighed. Somehow I doubted I'd ever be lucky enough to "be the hero" (to use Edward's phrasing) again. "Fine. But I get to bring desert."

"Fine," Edward said with such little hesitation that I ground my teeth together. _Maddening. He's_ _ **maddening**_ _._

Mr. Banner at that moment stopped in front of my desk, and I looked up at his face somewhat apprehensively. _Why…isn't he just handing it over?_ "I have to say, Bella, that this is by far the most interesting test I've ever graded." He handed it over. "I even watched you like a hawk the entire test to check if you were cheating. But you only seem to be guilty of the most ancient form of it: learning the material. Congratulations."

A matching one hundred was scrawled at the top of the test, underlined, and circled. I looked up at grinned at Mr. Banner. "So, does this mean I can keep sitting here?"

Mr. Banner nodded. "Yup. You kept your side of the deal, so I'll keep mine. His grade better stay high, though."

"He's fine," I said immediately, and Mr. Banner snorted at the dismissal. I suppose that was the sort of thing Edward should have said himself, but really, he _was_ fine. It was as I'd thought before: there was no way Edward, especially the human brainiac, would let me bring him down even one point. _Not that we actually know what effect Izzy would have had on him. We_ did _become friends just before the test._ Oh, well. He kept his streak of perfect scores, so I suppose nobody can complain.

"Well, I can't say I understand it," Mr. Banner said as the bell rang. "But I also don't have to. Have a good weekend, you two."

"Thanks, Mr. Banner," Edward said, his eyes darting towards me curiously. "You too."

"Put your tests on my desk on the way out!" Mr. Banner called out, and grumbling students abruptly altered their direction to do as he said.

"What was _that_ about?" Edward asked as we gathered our things.

"I made a deal with Mr. Banner to sit next to you," I said as I put my test in the pile.

"Did you," Edward said, not exactly sounding impressed.

"I didn't know at the time what Izzy had done to you," I said, beginning to fidget nervously as I paused by the stack for Edward. "If I had, I—" _Would…what? I_ did _find out, and I still sat next to him afterwards._

"It's fine now," Edward said, grabbing my hand and smoothing it against his. "You have _got_ to relax, Bella," he complained before letting my hand drop and heading out ahead of me.

I stared after him. _And you have_ got _to stop flirting with me so casually._

He didn't hear my silent plea though, and part, well, honestly almost _all_ of me, didn't really mind.

* * *

Edward's eyes widened as he accepted the tinfoil tray. "Please tell me that you ordered this," he all but begged. "Your Dad is great with computers, but I've yet to see something come out of his oven not burned and otherwise inedible."

I glared at him. " _I_ made it, and I promise you it's halfway decent," I said. "Well? Are you going to continue being rude, or will you invite me in?"

Edward smirked at me as he leaned against the door. "Well, I'm sorry to say this, but Alice and I decided together that your presence tonight isn't strictly necessary after all now that you've contributed dessert. In fact, I think it might be best if you leave now."

"Oh, well, that was considerate of you," I said absently, moving to try and get a glimpse of the house behind him. "Is Alice here already?"

"Sort of," Edward said, finally stepping aside to let me in, dropping his pretense of turning me away. _Sort of?_ "You can hang your coat up there," he said, nodding at the fashionable coat rack where he'd hung mine up before.

"I remember," I said, and he smiled at me once before turning and carrying the platter into the kitchen.

"The parents are out for the night," Edward said when I'd followed him to the kitchen. "Date night, and they of course realized that we needed some time alone."

"That's kind of them," I said. Unable to resist a dig, I added, "If we'd come to my house, we wouldn't have had to kick anyone out."

"Oh?" Edward said, arching a brow while he stirred a pot of creamy white sauce. "And what, we'd pass the sharing stick round the circle and listen to stories about Charlie's troubled childhood on top of our own?"

I rolled my eyes. He was obviously in some sort of silly mood tonight. "He always goes out with Billy on Friday nights anyway." Something that, thankfully, the situation between me and Jake hadn't seemed to change.

"You know, you're right!" Edward said, shaking his head as a part of an exaggerated portrayal of an epiphany. "What was I thinking, cruelly kicking my parents out to have some actual time together? What a selfish son I am! I should tag along at all costs in the future lest they actually _enjoy_ each other…" I grabbed a spatula and promptly whacked him on the shoulder. "Ow," he muttered.

"What can I do?" I asked, stepping closer to the noodles and immediately beginning to stir. When I glanced at Edward, it was to find his eyes resting on my warily. "Oh, will you _stop_ it? I _promise_ you I can cook! I've made most the meals for _both_ of my scatterbrained and otherwise defenseless parents for _years_!"

Edward paused. "…Really _?_ "

"Yes, _really_ ," I said, irritated that he still didn't seem to believe me. "Unless I wanted to eat casseroles made out of leftovers from Chinese takeout mixed with Italian, I _had_ to take over. And when I moved in with Charlie, he only knew how to cook fish."

"…Huh," Edward said thoughtfully. "Your mother was the scatterbrained one, then?"

Something in my heart ached at the thought of my mom. I still hadn't worked up the courage to ask Charlie about her, but that didn't mean that she wasn't on my mind. In the past, we'd emailed a few times a week if not daily. To have no way of contacting her now left me feeling…hallow. The thought that she might not be worth contacting at all now was simply too painful to consider. Finally, I sighed, "Yeah."

"What was she like?" All the teasing was gone from his voice now.

To keep from being too distracted by him and his painfully sympathetic expression, I turned to oven and continued stirring and checking things. "She looks a lot like me, but she smiled a lot more," I said, feeling a smile of my own beginning to tug at my lips just at the thought of her. "She was more creative and outgoing than I was. But admittedly a bit harebrained. If she hadn't gotten remarried, I never could have left her."

"You looked after her, then?" Edward said quietly.

I shrugged. "She was better with kids and emotions. Finances and reality were much more up my ally."

"Finances?" Edward repeated with a snort. "Why do I have a hard time believing that?"

I groaned, leaning my forehead against the cabinet directly in front of me. "You're _never_ going to let it go, are you?"

At my obvious frustration, he laughed softly. "There's a simple solution, you know."

"And what's that?" I asked, peeking at him.

Edward flashed me a dazzling smile. "Just let me pay you back."

I glared at him. Exhausted as I was with this argument which we'd been having _all week_ , he was _not_ going to win just by wearing me down. "When's your birthday, Edward?"

If the question surprised him, he didn't let it show. "June."

That gave me pause. "Oh, wow."

"What?" Edward asked, looking up.

"You're… _younger_ than me," I realized, unable to stop myself from smirking. His eyes narrowed. "Earlier, when you told Mike that you were both seventeen…you were _lying_."

"Didn't you say that we were together before? What kind of girlfriend doesn't know her own boyfriend's birthday?" Edward complained, and I felt blood rush to my face as such a casual reference to what I so desperately wished to be the state of our relationship. He glanced at me and paused. "…Oh. Sorry," he murmured. "That was a bit callous of me."

Mortified and too afraid to know what exactly he thought he was apologizing for, I changed the subject. "It looks like I've given you an early birthday gift. Happy birthday, Edward."

Edward's tentatively apologetic expression morphed instantly into a glare. "Oh, ha, _ha_ , Bella!"

"It doesn't make a very good gift seeing as _none_ of the money actually went to you, but apparently I'm not allowed to give you another thing so long as you shall live, so I might as well take advantage of it," I drawled.

"As much as I appreciate you saving me from a band of thugs, that is _not_ my birthday gift," Edward snapped. "I refuse."

" _Why_?" I demanded, exasperated.

"Silly Bella," he said, mussing my hair until I was blind. I was too distracted by the electricity in his touch to even think of swatting his hand away until the damage was done. "Because if it was like that, just a _gift,_ then it's almost ridiculous to think of repaying you."

I ground my teeth together. "That's the _point_!" I exclaimed, savagely fixing my now tousled hair. "I don't _want_ you to repay me! Goodness, if I'd known you'd be so…so _annoying_ about this, I might have thought twice before bothering! Is that what you wanted me to say?"

When I looked at Edward, I immediately recoiled from the obvious hurt in his expression. Until I realized that it was too exaggerated, and then I narrowed my eyes. "Oh, Bella, you _wound_ me," he whined, and I rolled my eyes heavenward. "Am I truly so annoying?"

"Yes!" I snapped. " _Stop_ being stubborn and just—"

The doorbell rang, and Edward and I both froze for a second. "And _that_ would be Alice with the garlic bread, I suppose," Edward said, setting aside the wooden spoon he was using the stir the sauce.

"I thought she was already here," I said, surprised.

"Did I say that?" Edward murmured back absently as he made his way towards the front door. I watched him leave with not a little irritation. _That's_ not _an answer._

I'd never been so _aggravated_ by Edward before. I was beginning to appreciate exactly how much I'd put Edward through by stubbornly refusing his gifts. Of course, I'd _never_ been so annoying about it. Just…perhaps infuriatingly reluctant.

 _He really needs to rethink his strategy,_ I thought critically as I finally began to follow Edward to the door. _I didn't mean what I said earlier about maybe I shouldn't have bothered, but is he trying to_ punish _me for helping him? Cause it feels a_ lot _like punishment._

Even more frustrating was that there was nothing I could _do_ to put an end to the matter. I couldn't pay him another thirty thousand just to drop the subject. Unless he stopped being _stubborn_ , the only end to this argument would be him paying me back. Which, as I'd pointed out before, _wasn't_ an option for him. He had college and a life to pay for first. Thirty thousand dollars just _wasn't_ a feasible debt to accrue willingly, and I think he knew that deep down. But he was too absurdly _stubborn_ to admit it now.

The moment he opened up the door, I heard Alice ask, or rather _demand_ , "Is she here?"

"Yes," Edward said, leaning against the door even as he stepped aside. "I notice a distinct lack of garlic bread."

"You'll be fine," Alice said absently as she struggled out of her hoodie. "Do you mind _helping_ me?" She hinted from inside of the hoodie, voice muffled.

Edward sent me a _what-can-you-do_ look and stepped closer to her and attempted to help her disentangle herself. I took the opportunity to observe them, and I realized that instead of looking worse as a couple compared to Alice and Jasper, they still looked like they fit. The height difference wasn't as vast (Alice seemed a bit taller and Edward just a tiny bit shorter), and there was a familiarity between them that was unmistakable. Edward moved with an efficiency and ease to help her that spoke of doing this a million times, of being used to being _near_ her. And he touched her _just_ as easily as he touched me.

 _If he touches her hair, I'm done for._ If he could do so intimate a gesture with his best friend, or worse, if he did _more_ with Alice tonight, then it meant that I truly meant nothing, that I was nothing more to him than another tolerable human being at Forks High.

"Hey. You." I looked up to find Alice moving almost hesitantly towards me, and I could only assume that 'you' referred to me.

She came to a stop before me, and I read with some apprehension on my part the determination in her eyes. She wanted to say something, very badly.

"I understand that it's because of you that this idiot isn't in the hospital right now," Alice said softly.

 _Hospital…? Is she talking about the incident last weekend?_

 _He already_ told _her what happened?_

I looked at Edward in surprise, and he only shrugged. I narrowed my eyes at him. _What is his_ problem _? Not only did he not tell me if she was here, but he didn't even tell me that he told her about last weekend?_

"I wanted to thank you," Alice said quietly, and my eyes snapped back to her. Her eyes were on the floor, her head slightly bowed. "I'm not sure why you cared so much. Maybe in the end you just wanted to bang him after all." I winced; that probably would have been Izzy's _only_ motivation if she'd done anything at all. "But I also am not sure what I'd be doing if he got hurt. I'd probably have gone crazy. So…thank you."

"I mean…you're welcome, but…" I tugged at my hair anxiously as I shrugged. "It's not like I did anything particularly exceptional."

Edward came up behind Alice and casually wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulling her close to his side. It was so much worse than touching her hair. It was physically painful, my chest constricting until I almost couldn't breathe. But he spoke, and even my silent agony couldn't distract me from the sound of his voice. "You _cared_. That's amazing, regardless of whom you are."

I bit my lip and averted my eyes. I hoped that he interpreted the loss of eye contact as being shy as opposed to the shameful truth that I was absolutely terrified that he was in love with girl beside him. "No, it's amazing exactly _because_ of who I am."

"You know what, considering who you are, I'm not sure you should be complaining about my expressing gratitude," Alice said, and her words cut through me as easily as a knife. "I honestly hate you, so the fact that I've said thank you is _pretty_ significant."

I was probably supposed to be amused by this. But all I could see was Edward pulling her close and tucking her into his side, as if she truly belonged there.

"I didn't mean to demean your gratitude," I said quietly, forcing the words out before I went insane. "Of course it's of the utmost importance that Edward is safe. But I just don't think that it's such a big deal, the part I played in everything. If…if you knew me, knew how I felt about it, then you'd know it's _nothing_ exceptional. It was the only option I had."

"…Whatever," Alice said, and out of the corner of my eye I saw her push away from Edward and move past me. "I'm kind of ticked, but I'd rather eat, so."

Edward squeezed my hand and murmured to me quickly, as if to get it all out before Alice started paying attention to us again, "Alice and I have been hanging out with each other since after school. When I told her about last weekend, she took off. I wasn't sure she'd come back, so that's why I wasn't clear with you earlier about whether she was here or not."

"Why didn't you just tell me you told her?" I asked, daring to look up and meet his eyes.

My favorite crooked smile was on his lips. "Would it be bad if I admitted that I didn't want you to stress over it?"

He wasn't fighting fair, looking like that at me even though he'd lied to me _again_ and I was in absolute turmoil over him and Alice. "You're incorrigible," I muttered, looking away and wrapping my arms around myself protectively.

Edward barked a laugh at that, and I jumped at the sound which only seemed to amuse him more. " _Incorrigible?_ Dear Bella, don't you know that when you say such delicious things, you only encourage me?"

" _Delicious_?" I repeated, stunned. "What…what's with your word choice?"

He arched a brow at me. "What's with _yours_?"

"Eddie!" I watched Edward roll his eyes at the familiar, hated nickname. "I'm _starving_ in here!"

Edward sighed. "You could help get food on the table, you know," he called to her as he left me to finally follow her into the kitchen, turning the corner and leaving my sight.

"Don't be that way," Alice snapped. "You host a meal at your house, you do it _properly_."

"Yes, ma'am."

I leaned my head against the wall, letting my eyes flutter shut.

 _If they're together…_

"Where's the stupid garlic bread, Eddie? How can you have Italian without garlic bread?"

"As I recall, that was to be _your_ one contribution tonight," Edward said dryly.

"…Oh. Yeah."

A tortured smile spread over my lips as I bowed my head. _It's not really a matter of if. It's a matter of when._

* * *

"…Okay, I'm dying." Alice set down her knife and fork. " _What_ is the big secret?"

Edward's fork paused, and he emitted a soft sigh of frustration. "Can't she at least finish her meal?"

"She's barely making a dent in it!" Alice protested, and I couldn't stop myself from wincing. She was right. Each mouthful was a struggle to get down, and my lack of appetite was almost comically obvious.

"Sorry," I muttered, rubbing the back of my neck uncomfortably. "It's not that it's not delicious, Edward. I guess I'm just…nervous." It was only party a lie. My stomach was practically in my throat at the thought of getting the words out.

"Well, there's no reason for _that_ ," Edward said, reaching forward and nudging my shoulder playfully. "Come on. Don't you want to get a _little_ bit more down before things get serious?"

I thought of trying to force down another bite, and I set down my fork firmly. "Not really."

"Excellent," Alice said immediately, sipping her water and eying me with such satisfaction I couldn't doubt I was playing into her hands.

"…Bella? Are you alright?"

"She _just said_ she's nervous," Alice pointed out, and I bit my lip in an attempt to suppress my smile. It didn't work.

Edward sighed, and I knew if I was looking at him (which I wasn't) that he'd be running a hand through his hair. "Whatever. I guess you'll feel better once everything's out, right?"

I could only nod my head.

"Well, it's not like I was expecting much anyway," Edward said, somewhat mournful as he pushed his chair back and got to his feet. "I mean, I _slaved_ over this meal, but I suppose I should have chosen a different occasion to cook for you both."

"Oy, don't lump me in the same category as her!" Alice protested, but she didn't _sound_ like she hated me. Teasing me, maybe? "I've eaten almost all of it! I'm just too flippin' curious!"

"I'll eat more, I promise," I said, looking at Edward beseechingly before I remembered why looking at him was a bad idea. My heart thudded in my chest rather pointedly, and I looked away again. "Just…later."

Edward sighed. "I'll hold you too that," he promised before saying, "Well, let's clear out and head somewhere more comfy for sharing time."

Swallowing hard, I got to my feet on weak limbs and followed them into what looked like a living room.

Alice immediately claimed a comfy armchair and tucked her legs under her while simultaneously grabbing one of the decorative pillows and hugging it to her chest. Apparently this was a drill she was quite familiar with, getting comfortable here in this room.

Edward chose the couch, and he patted the seat next to him encouragingly. I found myself _incredibly_ grateful for the relatively dim lighting that masked the beginnings of a blush and for Edward's human ears which could no longer pick out my pulse as I settled in next to him.

Maybe they never sat next to each other, and maybe Edward had noticed my unease at their intimacy. The latter wasn't as likely; Edward was sometimes curiously dense about my true feelings. No doubt if he guessed at my pathetic jealousy, he would have said something aloud to me about it by now.

No, this was just Edward being as naturally charming as ever, doing exactly what I needed him to do without a second thought.

I'd just barely sat down before Edward began to speak to Alice. "I'm sure you've noticed something a bit off about Izzy lately. Like…an entire personality shift?" Alice from her perch only shrugged, reluctant to give me that much credit or openly oppose Edward. "I suppose I'll just let her explain herself, and then I'll tell you why I believe her."

"Good plan," Alice said, voice muffled by the pillow as she gave him a thumbs up. I looked at Edward and saw him roll his eyes.

"Well, Bella?" Edward turned to look at me expectantly.

I'd _totally_ screwed this up when I'd told him, completely losing it halfway through my explanation. Somehow I needed to get through this with some composure.

But then…with him beside me, believing me, facing Alice doesn't seem nearly as frightening or impossible.

 _Besides that, it's not like I'll be lying to her._ Even if the truth was hard to swallow, at least it _was_ the truth. I had that much on my side.

"Um…I'm going to tell you some things, and at first you may think that you already it. But some stuff might be slightly different," I began, tentatively meeting her eyes. I was surprised to find them not hostile in the least. Not exactly friendly, but…not brimming full of hatred either.

"Sure," Alice said, voice quiet.

I looked at the carpeted floor. "My name is Bella Swan. My parents divorced a few months after I was born. I lived with my mother until I was seventeen when I decided for various reasons to move in with my Dad, Charlie Swan. He was, is, the police chief of Forks."

"No, let her continue," Edward said, holding up a hand. Alice's mouth snapped shut. "Go on, Bella," Edward said, nudging me.

I exhaled a shuddering breath and nodded. "When I moved here, I soon found out that I wasn't the only new kid. There was a strange family that had moved in some time before me. They kept to themselves, though, and didn't make friends with anyone. Um…they were the Cullens. But none of them were actually related. They were all adopted and around the same age." I realized I was rambling, and I stopped, and sighed, trying to collect my thoughts. "Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, J—" I stopped myself. No point bringing _him_ up yet unless I wanted to derail the conversation. I didn't quite want to discuss the lack of Jasper yet with them and its potentially tragic implications. "—and you."

Alice's eyes flashed, but then her features relaxed. "I don't get it," Alice said bluntly.

 _Keep up the good work, Swan, and watch her call the police and tell them there's a crazy person in her best friend's living room._ "Sorry. I don't know how to explain this. It's so insane," I mumbled weakly, rubbing my knuckles anxiously.

"No, it's _not_ ," Edward said, grabbing my hand and wrapping his warm fingers around it. "It's the truth, isn't it?"

Could he feel my pulse thundering away, just at his touch?

I couldn't bear to hold his eyes or look at Alice. "Yes," I whispered. "It is."

"Then keep going," Edward said, squeezing my hand before letting it drop, probably understanding how difficult it was to focus at this point if he touched me. It wasn't that I hadn't held hands with Edward a million times, or at least, with his vampire counterpart. It was just that I had no idea what it _meant_ anymore, and it was _that_ uncertainty that would drive me mad now.

 _Slow breaths, deep inhales. Empty the lungs._ I nodded. "Jacob Black was just some kid on the reservation that I saw every now and then. Billy Black was just a crippled widower. And, um…people at Forks High were nice. Sort of." My hands fisted over my knees, knuckles whitening. Now it got even _more_ insane.

"Then, about a month ago, I woke up and found everything different. I was naked in bed with Jacob Black, a guy I'd barely spoken to before. And whereas before he was just a sweet kid, he was now…cruel. Callous." I shook my head. "I was in a room I didn't recognize, and I soon found out that my dad the police chief was suddenly a millionaire. I'd lived in Forks since I was eleven. I was Jacob Black's girlfriend, and the shallowest, loose, _stupid_ and _heartless_ girl in town." I winced at the understatement.

The silence was almost palpable, _chokingly_ thick for a moment until I could gather my courage and force myself to continue. "And…worst of all, suddenly the people that I've come to love the most in the world…believed me guilty of…of malicious manipulation and bullying, and…and even…" I shook my head and said in a low voice, "You know what happened with Rosalie. I don't need to say it."

I fidgeted nervously as I struggled to find the right words to continue. Finally, I bit my lip and forced myself to look at Alice. "I don't know why, but my entire world changed drastically over night. And I've been trying to pick up the pieces ever since. You may recognize me as Izzy, but…I'm just _not_ her. I'm not."

Alice was curled as tightly around the large, overstuffed pillow as ever, only her eyes visible over it. They were calculating, searching my own expression, but otherwise unreadable. I had no idea if she believed me or not. "You believe this, Edward? Just because she saved you in Port Angelus?"

"Part of it was consideration for her and gratitude for her actions," Edward admitted. "But it also acted as evidence for her. Alice…you _know_ me. And you _know_ how I feel about Izzy. What I feel for Bella now… _could not happen_ if they were the same."

"And how do you feel for Bella?" My heart began to race immediately, and I fisted my hands. I couldn't bear to hear him admit to my only being a friend.

When he spoke, he sounded almost broken. "I don't know." His voice gathered strength then as he continued and said, "But I _know_ she's not Izzy."

Alice appraised him for a moment, and then she exhaled, long and low. "Okay, Edward. You're right. I _do_ know you, and I also know what a blasted skeptic you are. So what changed your mind? You have to have facts, evidence. Tell me _that_."

I dared to look at Edward, but he was only smiling softly at Alice. Feeling safer in my observation, I watched his face as he spoke. "Well, I'm sure you've noticed her rather impressive vocabulary? And Mrs. Palmer shared the essay with your class as well as mine, I presume?"

"I didn't know what to make of it," Alice admitted grudgingly.

Edward chuckled softly. "Now, part of Bella's claim is that she has no memories of Izzy's life or actions, only memories of _Bella's_ life. They are separate entities in Bella's mind. Now, what could possibly account for this?" He didn't wait for an answer. "I myself considered a split personality. Perhaps Izzy's mind snapped beneath the weight of guilt." At this Alice snorted, and Edward smiled grimly. "I find it hard to believe as well. But it's still something to consider."

He leaned forward, gaining in intensity as he reached his main point. "But the vocabulary, her current grades and knowledge, are totally incompatible with that theory. Bella, if a part of Izzy, can only be as intelligent as Izzy's subconscious mind would allow her to be. That is, Bella can only know what Izzy knows on an unconscious level. But Izzy simply _doesn't_ have the understanding of grammar or the English language to produce such a viably intelligent persona."

"More than that," Edward continued, "Bella told me that when she was last in her world, it was May of her junior year. That means that there was even time travel involved."

"This is crazy," Alice interjected, but she didn't sound angry or incredulous. She just sounded…thoughtful.

Edward smiled. "But the evidence agrees with her statement. She got a perfect score on the last test. And don't you remember what Charlie said before? All of her teachers had noticed a remarkable difference in her work ethic. School, for whatever reason, has become strangely easy for Isabella Swan."

"About the essays," I said quickly, "Miss Palmer has been letting me redo all of them from last semester and this one for full credit. I write the essays in her classroom every Wednesday after school, so…there's no way for me to cheat." I looked at Edward for support. "Unless I had a photographic memory, it would be impossible for me to memorize someone else's essay and then reproduce it in her classroom." Edward nodded in agreement.

"Okay," Alice said finally. "So she's too intelligent to be Izzy. What else?"

"She has too much composure to be Izzy," Edward said, immediately moving onto the next point. Honestly, I was a bit surprised. We'd discussed much of this before, but he'd really thought about this. "I've listened to Mike harass her almost every day in Biology since the switch. I've watched people mock her in the hallways, and I myself have been cruel. But she barely reacts; if anything she only looks sad. Izzy could _never_ forget her pride so easily, and Izzy couldn't have maintained self imposed isolation for so long. She would have cracked."

Alice grimaced. "…I know," she admitted. "I thought of that myself. It _is_ too weird, too out of character. The pressure is too high for Izzy, even for some elaborate prank."

"Exactly," Edward said. He held up his fingers and began to tick them off with the reasons. "She doesn't wear makeup anymore. She broke it off with Jake, and she's _actually_ pressing charges against him, something that seemed almost impossible for her to even consider before. And surely you must have noticed that she has shown nothing but consideration and kindness for the both of us. And also," his voice growing even more earnest, "the most important thing, is that she _accepts_ her guilt in a way that for Izzy would have been _impossible_ and _unfathomable_. Even though she doesn't for a moment believe she's guilty of what Izzy has done to us, she faced us _every day_ as if she had. How could Izzy have done that? How could Izzy have shown such…such humility and _grace_ under the circumstances?"

 _I…didn't know he saw all that. I didn't know it mattered in the end._ I was supposed to be on edge, waiting for Alice's verdict. But instead, I could only feel my heart warming rapidly in my chest and something like hope bubbling up inside of me.

It didn't mean anything, really. It didn't mean at all that he wasn't in love with Alice.

But it meant that he _saw_ me, saw the footprint that I'd been trying to leave in Izzy's life. I'd been so afraid to the point of nearly being sick with it that Edward would never see past Izzy's exterior, afraid that he would never forgive me for having her face. And it had been a week since those fears should have been laid to rest, but I'd been unaware how _soundly_ they should have been silenced before.

To him, I _really was_ Bella. And he seemed to like who that was very much.

I could have cried I was so happy.

"So…" Now it was Alice's turn to fidget. "…what? We're talking…time travel and…alternate universes?"

"It seems that way," Edward said quietly.

"…And Bella," Alice said, addressing me suddenly. I looked up and met her eyes quickly. "You… _never_ hurt us before?"

I grimaced. "I…wouldn't say that. I made life very difficult for you all. At times, you were in critical danger because of me. But…if it helps, I _never_ tried to hurt you, asked it of you, or wanted you all to be in harm's way."

"Which care for us she's more than demonstrated," Edward inserted quickly, and I resisted the urge to do something stupid like tell him I loved him on reflex for his kindness.

Alice only nodded, accepting the point. I could sense her thoughts taking a different direction though as she observed me for a long moment. Finally, she said, "Earlier, you started to say a name but stopped. Another member of our group…our family."

"You caught that?" I asked, unable to keep the surprise from my voice.

Alice's eyes were unwavering as she nodded. "What was the name?"

"His name is Jasper," I said finally, watching carefully for her reaction. And the reaction was instantaneous.

Recognition. Excitement. Hope.

"Was he like you, then?" Alice leaned forward in her enthusiasm, letting the pillow fall flat on her lap, forgotten. "Or…or was he… _different_?"

 _Different?_

"Alice—" Edward began, but Alice held up a hand.

"No. You guys got to share _your_ crazy secret, so I get to share mine now," Alice said. "But honestly, something tells me she already knows."

The room was quiet as my head began to spin. _What could she possibly mean by different? There's no way that Alice knows about vampires. There's_ no way _…_

"Bella," Alice said, eyes fierce with determination and intensity. "What do you know about vampires?"

The word hung in the silence.

 _She_ _ **knows**_ _!_

"Bella?" Edward touched my shoulder uncertainly. "Are you alright? I—"

"I know about them," I interrupted quickly. It was my turn now to scoot to the edge of my seat and search her eyes desperately. "Not…not a _lot_ because Edward didn't like to talk about it, but I _definitely_ know some."

Edward retracted a hand, and I turned to see surprise registering in his features. "I didn't…like to talk about… _vampires_?"

I bit my lip. "All the things I've told you so far, Edward…um, I may have left out something really important." I winced at the understatement. "Well, not left out. More like…intentionally omitted."

Edward slowly looked back and forth between me and Alice. "You're kidding me. You actually believe in them?"

"Edward, you _were_ a vampire," I said, beginning to fidget. "I don't just believe in them. I _know_ they're real."

Edward gaped at me for a long moment in which I hardly dared to breathe before he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. My stomach dropped immediately. "You know what? I'm not even surprised. I _knew_ you were holding something back."

I winced. "I wasn't…exactly trying to be subtle about it," I rubbed my shoulder, averting my eyes to the floor. "I'm sorry."

At that, Edward could only groan miserably. "Well, _that's_ certainly true. I suppose I just thought it would be something…more _normal._ "

"I _told_ you vampires were real, Edward," Alice interjected matter-of-factly. "Well? Are you going to tell me you'll buy time travel and alternate universe as told by _Isabella Swan_ , but you can't believe in vampires when explained by your _best friend?_ "

"It's a bit difficult to swallow!" Edward snapped at her before deflating into his hands, yanking at the roots of his hair. "…I _can't believe_ I was a vampire…"

Tentatively, I said, "Edward?"

From inside of his hands, I heard a, "Hm?"

"I was just thinking about some things I've…erm, stretched lately. Like, the reasons why you couldn't ignore me. I wasn't…really telling all the truth back then."

Edward peeked at me from his hands now. "I'm listening."

I then tried to imagine explaining to him that I'd been for some reason almost irresistibly delicious to him when he was a vampire, and I withered and looked away. "…Maybe we should talk about this later."

"Then you can tell me about Jasper," Alice interjected impatiently.

"Oh, right." I looked at her, somewhat sheepish now. "Sorry. I've just been feeling bad about lying to Edward, so when you opened up the subject, I…"

"Hey!" Edward protested. "The subject is _still_ open. I want to hear this!"

Alice glowered at him. "You're not _approachable_ enough for that, so just sit back and wait your turn. Maybe if you'd been less of a skeptic, she'd have an easier time talking to you." Apparently satisfied with having shutting down Edward, she turned towards me expectantly. "Now, _I_ want to know if Jasper was a vampire or not."

 _Sorry, Edward. But Jasper's lack of a presence here does seem a bit more important to discuss._ "Yes, he was a vampire. From what I understand of him, you and he met some time in the…forties? Fifties maybe? Anyways, you joined with the rest of the Cullens shortly after. But Jasper I think was much older than you, Alice, and just lived on his own for a time. His lifestyle then…made it difficult to be around me later."

"Lifestyle?" Edward prompted from beside me.

"Um…humans," I mumbled. "He hunted humans. But when he joined the rest of you, he hunted animals."

"So it's a hard switch to make?" Alice said, propping her head on a hand. She looked absolutely fascinated, and I smiled remembering Edward's words of encouragement earlier. _Even the driest textbooks have their place._

"Again, Edward didn't like to talk about it with me," I said, "but he has said that animals aren't nearly as appetizing."

"So he was a stick in the mud there as well?" Alice said, almost sounding disappointed.

I shrugged. "Well, if I constantly struggled with wanting to murder my girlfriend, _I_ wouldn't want to talk about it all the time either."

"Back to Jasper," Alice said impatiently, cutting off Edward just as he opened his mouth to comment. He only rolled his eyes at me before smiling his assent for my continuing. "Was he happy? Was he…with…"

"You and he were together," I affirmed immediately. "Wherever you were, Jasper wasn't far behind…but, um, Edward didn't like Jasper to be around me, so…despite that, even though I hung out with you a lot, I didn't really talk to him."

Alice glowered at Edward. "Well? Are you satisfied? You've successfully _ruined_ a goldmine of information that I could have had about him."

"Don't make that face at me! Alice, you _have_ to know that I would never do that intentionally!" Edward said, exasperated.

"Whatever," Alice said, holding up a hand to cut him off. "You didn't answer me, Bella. Was he _happy_?"

I blinked at her in surprise. Would it really matter to her so much, the idea of a Jasper she'd _never_ meet being happy? "Yes," I said finally, softly. "You made him _very_ happy. Even I could see that."

Alice nodded at that once, satisfied. She relaxed back in her seat, pensive as she mulled over what little information I had given her.

I found myself regretting that I'd spent so much time in my little bubble with Edward and hadn't emerged to hear more about his family. I really only knew about Carlisle and Edward. The rest were almost complete mysteries.

" _My_ turn now," Edward said. Though he'd waited and given Alice almost a full moment to demand more information, he sounded no less interested despite his patience. "What were those reasons that I couldn't ignore you?"

I had to smile at that. I'd never understand why this sort of thing interested him. "The way you described it, every human is appealing to a vampire. It's very difficult, especially when a vampire is young, to resist," I said, trying not to think how odd it was to discuss this with someone who'd probably never even _seen_ a vampire, much less truly believed in them. "You said that every human smells slightly different. And…some humans smell better than others. And then there are those that to one vampire are absolutely irresistible.

I bit my lip. "How did you put it? …It's like putting a recovering addict in a room full of heroin. And I was your exact brand of heroin. Does that…make any sense?"

Edward frowned and said, "So, in other words, I…wanted to kill you more than I wanted to kill anyone else?"

I nodded. "Exactly." I smiled a smile that I didn't really feel. "Pretty difficult to ignore the girl who seems like a demon sent from hades to torment you."

"Those can't be my words," Edward said, shaking his head.

"Sorry," I said with a laugh; I was unable to keep it entirely from being bitter. "But that's actually pretty close."

Edward shook his head again. "Alright, fine. That was one reason I couldn't ignore you. What was the other?"

 _Great. This can take an even stranger turn._ I sighed and looked down at my hands. "Some vampires have gifts, or superpowers. Jasper could sense and control the emotions of those around him. And you, Alice," I looked up to meet her eyes and found her perking up in interest, "could see the future."

"Of course," she said thoughtfully. "As you must have guessed, I still can."

I nodded. "Yes, I thought so. And Edward, _your_ gift was reading minds." I looked at him now to gauge his reaction, and I wasn't disappointed. A brilliant smile met my eyes.

"Oh, you're _kidding me_ ," Alice groaned into her hands.

"What?" I looked back and forth between them. "…Am I missing something?"

"It's just that…" Alice rolled her eyes, apparently unable to continue without expressing her disgust in this small measure, "he's been saying that reading minds would be his super power since he was, like, _three years old_."

Edward smirked at Alice. "Knowing oneself well is the key to success, I've heard," he gloated.

"Oh, shut _up_ ," Alice moaned, massaging her temples. "Just keep going, Bella."

Edward turned to look at me expectantly, and I took that as his consent to my continuing. "I was the exception to your power, though."

Edward blinked, and immediately disappointment played across his face. " _Really_? Just like that, my power was moot?"

"Only on me," I corrected.

"But that's so… _irritating!_ " Edward complained. "Why are there any exceptions at all?"

"I think your leading theory was that there was something wrong with my brain," I said dryly, and Edward snorted at my expression.

"That theory doesn't sound like it impresses you much," Edward noted.

I sighed, leaning on my hand. "Well, you were probably right, so it doesn't matter."

He chuckled at that. "So, that's why I wouldn't ignore you? You were just one exception too many in my ordered view of the world?"

His voice was soft and teasing, but in that moment he looked too much like my Edward. The glow in his eyes, the words he spoke, the things we were talking about…

 _I love you._ The words bubbled to my conscious mind unbidden, and I averted my eyes. Even if he already _knew_ that I had feelings for him, surely he wouldn't be as bothered if I didn't say it or at scream it with my eyes.

"I guess," I said with a shrug. "I can't pretend to understand why you felt how you did."

"Silly," Edward said, shaking his head. "But we've already discussed this, and it wouldn't do to be repetitive."

 _Ouch._ "I guess not," I said.

Edward clapped his hands. "Alright, then. I _do_ believe it's time for part two of our meal!"

"You can't _seriously_ be considering eating more!" Alice protested. Despite her words, she was already tossing her pillow to the side and getting to her feet. "You already stuffed your face. And don't pull the 'growing boy' card. You are _done_ growing, Edward Cullen."

"Please don't curse me to that without even hesitating," Edward frowned as he got to his feet. When I began to pitch forward, he steadied me as if he'd been expecting it.

"Thanks," I muttered.

"Sure," Edward said easily before turning towards Alice. "Really. It's a serious thing for a psychic to condemn me to an eternity at six foot two."

Alice turned to glare at him. "You realize that I am _barely_ five feet tall? Some guys are blessed to be Bella's height. So _shut up_. You are _done_ growing, and you should only be upset that you didn't stop sooner! _Gosh_ you are irritating!"

Edward leaned towards me with a conspiratorial smile. "You know, even though she says that, she doesn't _actually_ know. She may claim to be a psychic, but I'm not important enough to inspire any visions." He rolled his eyes. "No, only a certain golden eyed _vampire_ has that distinguished honor."

" _Really_?" I blinked up at him in surprise. "How odd. As a vampire, Alice could see basically _everything_."

Edward shuddered. "That sounds positively irritating!"

I shrugged, unable to resist saying, "No more so than mind reading, I'd imagine."

Edward narrowed his eyes. "That's not fair. I couldn't even _read_ your mind, so what do _you_ have to complain about?'

I shrugged. "You were still used to reading minds. You would think I was committing a crime, keeping my thoughts to myself."

Edward considered this for a few seconds before shrugging, apparently deciding to forgive himself in this matter. "You should have been more considerate of me, then," he said critically. "It couldn't have been easy for me, having perfect access to everyone's minds _but_ yours."

I rolled my eyes. "You _would_ take that stance, wouldn't you?"

He flashed me a dazzling smile. "Naturally."

"Holy cow this pie is delicious!" Alice charged back into the room, and I jumped away with Edward. I hadn't realized until that instant how close I'd gotten to him. When I peeked at Edward and found him surprised by my reaction, I internally groaned and vowed to be more subtle next time. With Edward, it wasn't a matter of _if_ but _when_ I ended up getting unconsciously pulled too close again. "Did Esme make this?"

Edward and I both looked in mute surprise at the plate in Alice's hand bearing a slice of the pie I'd brought. "Um…" I rubbed the back of my head awkwardly.

"Bella brought that, actually," Edward said, ducking forward and dipping a finger into the filling before tasting it.

Alice's eyes flashed in irritation. "Oh, come _on_ Edward!" She complained. "Go get your own piece!"

"It was only a _taste_ , Alice," Edward dismissed absently before turning to regard me, if anything more astonished than before. "Did you _make_ this, Bella?"

I rolled my eyes heavenward. " _Why_ is that so hard for you to believe? I _told_ you that I can cook!"

"Well, to be fair, this only proves you can _bake_ ," Edward said slowly, an irresistible smirk tugging at his lips. "Your cooking skills remain untested as yet."

I glared up at him. "Is that a hint for me to cook you a meal, Edward? Cause you know I will."

Edward scoffed. "Why should I have to taste anything you make for me if you can't even have _one helping_ of what _I_ made for _you_?"

I rolled my eyes. "If I eat more of your food, will you stop acting surprised at the thought of me cooking?"

Edward's smile was gallingly innocent. "I'm not surprised at the thought of you cooking, Bella. I'm only surprised at the thought of you cooking _well_."

"You're really annoying," Alice noted. "Like… _really_ annoying."

Edward chuckled. "Alright, alright. Bella, if you consume my food with a _hint_ of enthusiasm _and_ prove your abilities at some later date, I may consider recognizing you as a fellow practitioner of the culinary arts."

I snorted. "Oh, _thanks_. Such a _generous offer_."

He grinned at me. "I thought so as well."

"Convenient how you get a delicious meal out of it," I hinted.

"Let's not dwell on that," Edward said, wrapping his arm around my shoulders much as he had with Alice earlier and all but dragging me towards the kitchen. "Look, I'll even be nice and warm your plate up for you."

I rolled my eyes. "Truly, your generosity astounds me."

He only winked at me before snatching up my plate and disappearing into the kitchen.

I all but collapsed into my seat, watching the doorway where he'd disappeared and listening to my own pulse thrumming in my ears. _I'm not going to last long like this if he keeps treating me this way._

 _Oh, well. There are worse ways to pass the time than falling hopelessly in love all over again._

* * *

 **A/N:** Congratulations! You have just finished by far the longest chapter of Alternate Realities. I applaud you for your attention span and patience.

This is actually probably my favorite chapter. If anyone is impressed by the quality of writing, I believe credit must go to the brilliant and charming Jane Austen whose books I was binge reading at the time I was writing this. I'm almost like a sponge when it comes to reading; my writing tends to emulate the styles of what I'm reading.

...Well, Alice knows now. So...thoughts? Reactions? Rotten fruit and pitchforks? Or you could just tell me about how your weeks are going. How's school (if you're in school)? ...Really, any proof that somebody is reading this besides me would make my day. So say whatever you like. Frankly, I don't care.

Okay. I'll shut up now. You've all read enough of my writing for once chapter.


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N:** Okay, big news: I'm _pretty_ sure this is the second to last chapter. So brace yourselves, guys. Only about twenty thousand more words before this thing is shutting down. More on that at the bottom authors note.

 **Disclaimer:** The world of writing becomes very, very small if one limits oneself to characters that are strictly your own. The world also becomes _very_ small (like, prison cell small) when one professes ownership of those characters afterwards. Yeah. I own nothing.

Chapter 11:

As I turned off the dirt road to park, I caught a view of a dizzying height and beauty. _Of all the places she wanted to go with me, she chose a cliff?_

Since everything had come out with Alice, we'd eaten lunch and hung out a few times after school. But most of the time, Edward was our go between and the glue. We'd never done anything without him. Then, out of the blue, Alice texted me and asked if I'd take her somewhere. Imagine my surprise when she directed me to the top of the highest cliff on the reservation.

I'd convinced myself that it wouldn't be too awkward, that we'd be fine. Alice was a force of nature; there isn't really time to feel uncomfortable around her. We'd interacted plenty without Edward (though admittedly never longer than a few minutes at a time). But she'd been so absorbed in her own thoughts and too focused on perhaps what she was planning to talk about once we reached our present location that she'd barely said a word to me the entire drive over.

To say the least, it was disconcerting.

Alice pulled me from my thoughts by slammed my truck door shut and came around to the front of my truck, tucking her hands out of the cold and into her jacket pockets. When I quickly got out and followed her, she said, "Thanks for coming out here."

I wrapped my jacket tighter round myself as an icy wind bit the exposed skin of my face. Perhaps there was something to what Edward had told me, that one time…

 _Edward shook his head, a noise of disgust coming from his throat. "You got this jacket at Wal-Mart, didn't you?"_

 _I looked up at him in surprise. We were_ supposed _to be working on a chapter review, but of course Edward was already finished with it and bored enough to demand entertainment from me, apparently. "So what if it was?"_

 _Edward shook his head and looked up at me. "If money truly doesn't matter, why not spend a bit more on yourself?"_

 _For a moment I was speechless before I gathered my senses. "If money doesn't matter, it doesn't matter! It's a sensible, nice coat I'll have you know!" Perhaps I was being too defensive, but I couldn't quite stop myself after gaping at him so stupidly when he made his point._

 _My argument was hardly stellar, though, and Edward only shook his head and said, "You don't have to prove anything anymore, you know. It's alright to spend some money. No one will accuse you of being pointlessly extravagant now."_

 _It was true. But it was_ also _true that I really didn't care. I wasn't buying Wal-Mart jackets to make a statement. I just did it out of habit now. I'd always been poor, and it was disconcerting to say the least to suddenly_ not _be. "I'll keep that in mind," I said finally._

 _He groaned. "I_ hate _it when you say things like that."_

 _I couldn't help but smile, delighted that I'd succeeded in making him feel even a little bit frustrated. "Why?"_

 _He sighed. "Because it means exactly that you're_ not _going to keep it in mind."_

Well, I was keeping it in mind now. Suddenly a hundred dollar rain jacket that was nice and comfy and didn't let the wind cut through me like a knife sounded like a grand idea.

Alice didn't even seem bothered by the pre-Spring chill as she sauntered closer to the edge of the cliff, blue eyes staring down the bitter wind with unflinching steadiness.

"I've seen him here," she confided in me quietly. "No matter what happens, I _know_ he'll come here."

I moved closer to stand beside her, ignoring the way my stomach flipped with nausea. "Is he with you when he does?"

Alice only shrugged. "Sometimes. But the vision gets stronger all the time. He's coming this way, towards Forks."

"…Alice, what color are his eyes?" I asked, somewhat cautious.

Alice looked at me then with a knowing smile. "Black to gold. It varies. But never red." She looked back out at the gorgeous view of the ocean, and after a moment of inspecting her serene expression, I sighed and followed suit.

"Why did you bring me out here?" I asked, shuddering into my totally inadequate jacket. Even with my hands buried in my pockets, they felt numb. _How is it that she looks totally unaffected?_

"I thought I'd show and tell you a few things close to my heart," Alice said before meeting my eyes, "so you'd explain to me a few things close to _yours_."

"Can we do this in my t-truck then?" I said before a shiver wracked my body.

Alice actually _laughed_ at my expression. "Come on, then," she said, grabbed my hand and dragging me towards it. "We should have brought _my_ car. It heats up much faster, you know."

"Yeah," I admitted before lunging inside my truck. However miserably cold it had already become inside of it, it couldn't be as bad as that awful, cutting wind. "So, what did you want to ask about?" I began to fidget nervously with the end of my coat. It was already becoming frayed. _Darn it. Edward was right._

"I didn't want to bring it up in front of Edward, but you two…seem awfully comfortable talking about the fact that you're in love with him," Alice noted.

My heart froze in my chest before returning to life at a thunderous pace. "Well, don't beat around the bush!" I exclaimed.

Alice narrowed her eyes. "I suspect there are a few misconceptions on your end. Explain them, please."

I brought my feet up onto the seat and wrapped my arms around them, partly to warm myself and partly because this subject left me _deeply_ uncomfortable. "I…I did wonder if you two…" I trailed off. "Well, with Jasper not in the picture and Izzy being what she was…it _did_ seem like you two might..."

Alice snorted. "End up together?" She finished. "One word, Bella: _disgusting._ I don't know how you voluntarily put up with his crap, but it seriously _is_ crap. He's annoying," she said flatly.

I could only shrug. It felt too pathetic to admit that the very things that she might find so annoying were part of what I found so charming and delightful about him. "Honestly, I kind of already knew once you told me about Jasper," I admitted. "But it was still...terrifying." I looked at her. "He loves you a lot."

"Yes, but not like _that_ ," Alice said emphatically before shuddering. I had a feeling it wasn't because of the cold.

I remembered the way that Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulders last Friday night and dragged me to the table, _just_ like he'd treated Alice. "I'm not sure he feels any differently about me," I admitted in a whisper.

Alice was quiet for a moment before she nudged my arm as if to comfort me. It felt more awkward than anything, but I appreciated the sentiment behind it. "Hey. If you don't already know this, then I'll spell it out for you: Edward _would not_ play with your feelings. He knows what he's doing, and he wouldn't treat you like he does if he didn't have any intentions of reciprocating your feelings." She snorted. "He only _acts_ like he has no idea what he's doing; he's well aware that he's a flirty...attractive human being..." She seemed to have trouble getting out the words.

"Doesn't he flirt with you, though?" I asked, biting my lip.

I watched Alice recoil in horror. "Oh, _heavens_ no! He just acts dumb around you and picks up a stupid persona. So what may look like flirting is _totally_ not happening the vast majority of the time. When we're alone, we basically just talk vampires and physics, and while he loves the latter, there's not much to be silly about in either contexts." She sighed. "I guess what I'm trying to say is… if he's ever sent you mixed signals by treating us similarly, it's only because he's...kind of never done this before. It's a mistake. He's _not_ trying to confuse you. Basically, he's just an idiot."

I let her words wash over me and smooth over the insecurities and paralyzing fears. I shouldn't have allowed them that much influence over me in the first place.

If I _really_ thought about it, Alice was right. Edward wasn't exactly socially awkward. He couldn't be ignorant of his effect on me if he had _eyes_ , and though Alice enjoyed labeling him as an idiot, it just wasn't the case.

The thought warmed my heart. Edward knew what he was doing, and he wasn't trying to hurt me. I'd just have to trust that until things became more clear.

"…There," Alice said, leaning back in her seat, apparently satisfied with my probably improved countenance. "You get it now, right? So don't…freak out or whatever."

"Thanks, Alice," I said gratefully. "You didn't have to talk to me about this, but it's helped."

Alice glanced at me, looking distinctly uncomfortable before pointedly looking out her window. "…Sure. Let's go get some ice cream and head home, yeah?"

I grinned and shook my head but otherwise obeyed, turning on my car and then pulling out back towards Forks.

* * *

"How awkward," Alice remarked as she slid back into shotgun of my car. "Next time, we should hit a place inside Forks, yeah? At least they won't think we're on a date."

"I can't believe it's already Valentines Day. I didn't even realize how much time had passed," I said, sipping my milkshake before gingerly putting it into the cup holder and turning on the engine.

After my drink spilling all over me after slamming down on the brakes to avoid a cat, I'd been more wary of the cup holders. The brakes were apparently in stellar condition (the cat survived, at least), but I doubt Edward would let me forget about the faulty cup holders and generally shabby interior of my car any time soon ( _why_ did he have to be in shotgun?).

"You've been in Forks over a month now," Alice said. "Well? Are you already dying to leave?"

I shook my head. "Forks is my happy place."

Alice snorted into her ice cream and began to cough. When she regained composure, she shook her head. "Sorry. It's just _really_ ironic that the rainiest town in the continental US is your happiest place on Earth. But, then, I suppose you haven't traveled as much as Izzy has either."

"If Izzy was friends with you and Edward, this would unequivocally be her happy place as well," I said firmly.

Alice was quiet for a moment, and when I glanced at her, I found her regarding me awkwardly. At my questioning gaze, she sighed impatiently. "Well, what am I supposed to say to that? _Thanks_? Honestly, I die a little bit inside every time you call Edward your _friend_." She delivered another one of her now infamous punches to my shoulder. "It's Valentines Day. Can't you admit _today_ of all days that you're in love with him?"

My brow furrowed. "Um…okay. I'm in love with him. But that doesn't change that we're only friends at the moment."

Alice groaned, and I heard the dull thud of a head against glass. "Please stop! Romantic tension _sickens_ me."

I rolled my eyes. "There's nothing _tense_ about it. You already told me that you think he's starting to feel the same way."

Alice paused for a moment. "…You're right," Alice reflected. "Well? Did I successfully _ruin_ the excitement and anticipation based in needless angst that only an all encompassing declaration of love and a steamy, passionate kiss could rectify and remedy?"

I felt my cheeks redden. "No, you didn't. He wouldn't have needed to do that much anyway," I said hastily.

"Uh huh," she said knowingly. "So…what, you're trying to tell me that you _honestly_ don't care if Edward kisses you or not?"

My light blush was darkening swiftly, and I glared at the rainy windshield. I wondered if I could suddenly plead deafness. _Probably not. Drat._ "I _care_! But I'm not _that_ needy, am I? I don't need anything spectacular!"

"Oh," Alice said, and for a second I actually felt the relief of a mutual understanding. And then she said, "Does that mean you think kissing Edward would be spectacular? Or rather, you _know_ it since you've already kissed him, haven't you?" At my look of humiliated horror, a peal of laughter sounded from her. "Oh, Bella! You're too easy to tease! What's with that _blush_? Gosh, I thought you used to be _dating_ him. How far have you gone with him, _holding hands_?"

"He actually used to spend every night with me in my room," I frowned as I turned onto her street. "…Not that we did anything other than talk and kiss every now and then, but…yeah."

"Oh, _wow_ , I'm _so_ impressed," Alice drawled. "Please, teach me everything you know about love, Bella, or, rather, _love guru_."

"Ha ha," I muttered as I came to a stop in her driveway.

Alice unbuckled her seatbelt. "Come inside, will you? Mom will be _thrilled_ to see her future step daughter." I'd been taking a sip of my milkshake and gagged on it immediately, almost spitting all over my dashboard. Alice watched my display with a sigh. "…You _are_ aware that they're going out _just_ the two of them this Friday, right?"

"That doesn't mean they'll get married!" I rasped before chancing another sip.

Alice shook her head as she had another spoonful of her ice cream. "It could _totally_ happen. My mom is just lonely enough to be desperate."

I quirked a brow at her. "…My dad's only an option if someone's desperate, then?"

Alice rolled her eyes. "You _know_ that I'm cool with Charlie. He's almost a respectable human being." Alice ignored my scoff and continued thoughtfully, "Always thought he was made of stern stuff after the way he handled Izzy and then me and everyone else after that. Takes a lot of courage to face us, you know?"

I shook my head as I turned off the engine. What a contrast to Edward's opinion! "Then why would your mom have to be desperate?"

"Um, hello, his daughter mercilessly bullied me for _years_!" Alice shook her head and added, "More than that, my mom obviously isn't the only person on the block interested in Charlie. But he lives in a small town raising his daughter for a reason. He made it clear he didn't want to date, and so all the gold diggers in town laid off out of respect for him, and there are no gold diggers really aware of him outside of Forks now. But my mom's breaking the rules and going after him anyway. It's going to make people angry, make people think she's leaving her place and only in it for the money. I mean, it's not exactly a secret how she tried to milk all the money she possibly could out of my Dad." Alice sounded more reflective than anything as she spoke.

"… _Is_ she in it for the money then?" I stared at my steering wheel and tried to keep my expression blank. I didn't want Alice to see how much this worried me.

Marriage had been a dirty word around my mom for years, and I'd only been fine with her marrying Phil because he'd been a reasonably good guy, especially for her. But I could never have handed her over so easily if I'd thought I had cause to worry, and that had been my _mom_ , bubbly Renee who bounced back from a disastrous first marriage with almost no scars except an inordinate amount of loathing for shotgun weddings. What about Charlie who I had always known to have been _devastated_ by the very same experience?

Charlie seemed to have escaped unscathed from Renee in this universe, and I would go down kicking and screaming before I handed Charlie over to the same fate of a perpetually broken heart this time around.

"I don't think so," Alice said easily, ignorant of my internal resolutions. "But then, I don't really like talking to my mom, so I'm not completely sure. I'm sure money is a factor, but I think my mom has had enough heartache to know to look for the important things in a man."

I bit my lip. I desperately wanted to know what had happened to her father, but I didn't want to hear the way that subject would embitter Alice's voice. So instead I changed the direction a bit. "Is money a factor for _you_ in whom you're interested in?"

Alice shrugged. "Sure, why not? It's nice when a guy is loaded."

I turned to gape at her. "…That was very honest of you." I tried not to sound scandalized.

I don't think it worked; she laughed. "Oh, come _on_! It's not that I like the thought of people spending money on me. It's just practical. We probably won't fight over paying rent for the month, and if I ever want to fly down to central America to study some rare plants, I probably don't have to save up for months to pay for the trip, you know? It's just useful. It's stupid not to consider finances, especially since it's such a common catalyst for divorces."

"But if Jasper wasn't rich?" I pressed.

She blinked at me. "Well, I'll have a lot more things to be worrying about then than the gap between our finances, like the gap between our species."

 _Alright. So, it's not the most romantic thing to say,_ I admitted to myself as I leaned back in my seat. _But she's probably got a point. Just because_ I _never had to worry about it before with Edward doesn't mean that I don't need to think about money now._

It just sounded so…so _calculating_ and cold, to legitimately consider a man's paycheck alongside his personality. More than that, it sounded _shallow_.

But…if that interest wasn't based in greed, but instead as a predictor of future marital happiness…well, like Alice said, it was just practical.

"I can see that," I finally agreed.

"So, are you going to come into my house, or do I have to drag you?" She pushed the heavy door open and hopped down. "Or are you tired of me already?"

"Of course not," I said immediately, unbuckling quickly and opening my own car door quickly to follow.

 _She seems to have a hard time with intimacy. She calls Edward an idiot even when she clearly doesn't think he is one. She pushes away her mom, her sister. And she tries to play off the times when she's considerate of someone._

 _Of course, if I'd been bullied for years mercilessly, I might have a hard time as well._ The fact that she was trying so hard to be my friend at all was something remarkable.

I would just have to accept Alice as she was. We were both trying our best in these messed up circumstances.

Those were my thoughts as I followed Alice into the house. I was opening my mouth to change the subject and say something light when she came to an abrupt stop in the middle of her foyer. "What the heck…"

I frowned at her back, but I noticed the angle of her face…looking down. I followed suit and looked at the ground and saw a mess of rose petals scattered all over the floor.

"It's…Valentines Day," I realized dumbly out loud. Immediately, the image of laughing, emerald green eyes and tangled bronze hair was before my eyes as if imprinted into my eyelids. Instantly agony rippled in my chest, and I stood frozen as it tore through me.

A scream caught my attention, and my head sluggishly turned in the direction of it, confusion interrupted my moment of paralyzing misery.

A scream…and laughing?

 _Cynthia?_

"Emmett?" Alice called uncertainly, dropping her backpack before charging into the kitchen.

 _Emmett?_

Immediately, a voice in the back of my head finished the thought: _not Edward._

Totally numbed by my confusion, I drifted forward after her. And the sight I saw was almost more than I could understand.

None other than a very human Emmett was on the kitchen floor, kneeling by the side of Cynthia who was struggling like mad to escape what looked like an expertly delivered tickle attack. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she laughed and yelled.

"Alice," Emmett said between laughter of his own, "Can you—believe this—little _squirt_ —asked me what I was _doing_ here?" He turned to grin at Alice. "As if I don't have a right…"

His voice tapered off into one of the most pained silences I've ever heard as his eyes landed on me.

"What the _heck_ is she doing here?" Emmett was on his feet in a second, and my eyes widened as his hand closed over a knife. I stumbled back a step instinctively. "Did she follow you, Al? Where's that bastard boyfriend of hers?"

"Emmett, would you _drop_ the knife?" Alice snapped, jabbing a finger pointedly at his right hand.

"I wouldn't pull a _freaking knife_ on someone who can pay their lawyers more than—" He actually looked down at his hand then, and he stopped speaking abruptly as he slammed the knife back down on the counter. " _Crap_."

As if that had been all she was waiting for, Alice barreled forward and wrapped small arms around his hulking form, burying her face in his chest, or rather, his stomach (the height difference was striking). _So much for struggling with intimacy._

Emmett cast me another distrustful glance, but his arms wrapped around Alice. "Happy Valentines Day, Al," he whispered, rubbing his hands soothingly up and down her back. I noticed her shoulders beginning to shake, and I turned away. I couldn't bear to witness such a private reunion.

It wasn't my fault that they'd been parted. But this emotional reunion only made it even more painfully clear just how _awful_ this separation was. If Alice was this close to Edward and Emmett, then she must have been equally inseparable from Rosalie.

A ghost of my previous agony returned, and I bit my lip hard, staring hard at the wall.

"Hey, Emmett," Cynthia said with hesitant cheer, and I peeked to see her tugging on his shirt. "Show her what you brought for her."

Emmett let go of Alice with one hand to muss Cynthia's hair. "Why don't you go wait in the family room, squirt? We've got some things we've got to discuss in here." His eyes pierced me, and I shrank back.

Emmett had always been so warm and welcoming in the other universe, a distinct contrast from his bitter mate. But this Emmett was no more used to Izzy's face than the day that everything went to pieces with Rosalie. Edward and Alice had hated me, but Edward had at least been used to the idea of my continued existence in his life.

Emmett had no such practice, and his distrust and rancor was obvious.

Cynthia frowned up at him before her eyes darted towards me. Understanding dawned, and she nodded slowly. "Okay," she said quietly before shuffling dutifully from the room, eyes trailing back to us all the while.

"Sorry, I'm just a bit confused," Emmett said, taking a step towards me with Alice at his side. Her arms were still wrapped tightly around him, her eyes glassy and rimmed with red, but her expression was determined. In spite of her at his side, I still fell back around step and collided loudly with the wall. "Why are you still _here_? And I know I pulled a knife on you, but I'm not going to attack you, alright?"

"So you admit you pulled a knife, then?" Alice asked before sniffling and wiping at her eyes.

Emmett floundered for a moment. "I…of course not!"

Alice snorted before slowly pulling away from him. "Emmett, you've _got_ to listen to me. Something really weird has happened, and you can't just stalk off without listening to the entire thing, alright?"

Emmett's brows wrinkled. "Why the heck would I leave? I just got here."

Alice sighed. "Cause you're not going to like it until you believe me."

Emmett narrowed his eyes, shifting his weight and folding his arms. "So, what? Did she pay you to be her servant? Are you accepting money?"

"Emmett, have you even _looked_ at her?" Alice demanded testily. The warm feelings of reunion seemed to have given way to her normal, slightly abrasive mannerisms.

My knuckles whitened as I braced myself under his inspection. Emmett's narrowed eyes widened. "What the heck. She looks like crap," he remarked in surprised to Alice.

"Does she look like she's paying anyone right now?" Alice rolled her eyes and grabbed one of his thickly muscled arms and began pulling him back towards the foyer where the stairs were. "Come on, you idiot. Let's go talk in my room, alright?"

"But what about Cynthia?" Emmett frowned, leaning away from her towards the family room.

"Bella, go tell her what's up," Alice commanded me. "Now come _on_ , Emmett. You wouldn't believe what's happened…"

As they brushed past me, Emmett met my eyes, but his face was too perplexed to deliver the full weight of his frown before he disappeared up the stairs. When they were gone, I exhaled a shaky breath.

 _Cynthia. Right._

I moved through the narrow hallway towards the family room and, praying that I looked somewhat human, stepped inside.

Cynthia was perched on the couch, glaring forward at the wall. "Let me guess: they went out," Cynthia said sourly.

"No," I said, somewhat awkward. For whatever reason, Cynthia had more or less hero worshipped Izzy before, and I always felt a bit odd around her. Everybody else seemed utterly impressed by my transformation, and while Cynthia had been sweet about it thus far, I couldn't stop from feeling a bit weird about it. I mean, I was in essence a disappointment because I'd changed, right? "They're just upstairs."

Cynthia shrugged, bowing her head forward. "Whatever. It's the same first, and it's not the first time she's pulled this." Her voice lowered to a murmur as she added, "I won't see him now until she's ready to share him."

After staring forlornly down at her lap for a moment, she angrily lunged for the remote and began pressed the buttons with as much unnecessary force as the remote could sustain.

After a moment of hesitating, I moved in and sat next to her on the couch, tucking my feet under me. After a moment of staring with unseeing eyes at the TV, I murmured, "I'm sorry. It's my fault that they're not having fun with you right now."

"No, it's fine," Cynthia said before sighing in frustration. "I'm sure I'll get to spend time with Emmett before he leaves."

I fidgeted. I was way out of my depth here, but Cynthia had been just about the only person to notice and _care_ about my emotional turmoil following this transition. I couldn't just _ignore_ her. "But?" I prompted quietly.

"But she's so selfish!" Cynthia burst out, as if she'd just been waiting for just such a cue. "Forget the fact that she hates me, and _don't_ tell me she doesn't! She _does_. But outside of that, I _hate_ the way she treats Mom, the way she always talks about leaving home at the first opportunity to go across the country. And she _never_ returns any of Dad's phone calls or emails. It's like she's only happy if everyone is running after her and begging!" Cynthia grabbed a decorative pillow and buried her face in it and screamed. "I _hate_ her!"

I bit my lip, beginning to panic. _Oh, come on, Swan! Don't act like you've never seen tears before!_

I felt something within my heart open and soften towards this girl. She hadn't been here the first time around, and I'd never had much of an opportunity to care about kids or people younger than me in general. But somehow I found myself caring, despite my inadequacies and inexperience and the sheer ridiculousness of it all, about her anyway.

I reached out a hand and rubbed her back soothingly, mimicking Emmett's and Edward's experienced movements. "If there's anyone that's selfish, it's me," I whispered. " _I'm_ the one who made her like that. Someone who's been hurt that many times doesn't walk out free. She's doing the best she can, and one day I think she'll regret how she's treated you."

"It's not about me," she protested, voice muffled by her pillow.

I smiled sadly at her form. I could still picture her crestfallen face when Alice had said that she "literally can't do anything else" besides dance. "It's not a bad thing for it to be about that," I whispered, brushing her hair from her back. "It's okay to be hurt."

Cynthia went very still, and then I saw the telltale shake of her shoulders, and I found a twisted smile on my lips. They were the shoulders of something desperately trying not to cry, and they were painfully similar to a set of very similar shoulders I'd seen earlier.

For a while we sat like that, me tracing patterns into her back because there literally wasn't anything else I could think to do, and Cynthia crying quietly into her pillow. _Poor kid must have had a bad day at school, something that just made Emmett the straw that broke the camel's back._

Finally, she sat up and wiped at her tears miserably. "I don't understand why _you're_ friends with her now. You're actually _nice_."

I gaped at her for a moment. "You…know that I've done a lot of horrible things to your sister, right?" I was torn between my own reluctance to force her to face reality and my own horror at her lack of loyalty.

Cynthia sniffled and shrugged noncommittally. "But you're nice," she repeated stubbornly, but it sounded weaker this time.

I bit my lip. I couldn't trust Cynthia with as important a secret as my actual identity. That was just a fact, at least until she got older. Unfortunately for her, I could remember being at that age and the integrity (or lack thereof) of the vast majority of my peers.

But she was still a good kid. "Kind of," I said at last. "Now I am, at least. And I'm _very_ lucky that your sister is willing to consider that fact."

Cynthia stared at her lap for a moment before her face crumbled again. "If she'll be _your_ friend, why does she still hate _me_?"

I looked heavenward, wishing I had the answers. "Just be patient with her, Cynthia," I begged. "Sometimes, you can't get what you want immediately. Sometimes you have to compromise. And sometimes it hurts you to give people second chances. But I _promise_ you your sister is worth it."

"You're on her side like _everyone else_ ," Cynthia said bitterly before lurching out of the couch. I stared at her like a deer caught in the headlights. "She's not even nice to you, and you're still sticking up for her. I thought you said we were allies, that _we_ were friends!"

My brow furrowed as I repeated her words in my mind. _When did I ever say we were allies?_

Friends, yes, but allies was such a _calculating_ word to apply to a friendship. When I could I have possibly…

 _Unless it wasn't me that said it. Unless it was Izzy_.

I had no use for becoming allies with Cynthia, but Izzy had a vested interest in getting under Alice's skin. And Alice's own little sister, who I'd already observed to more or less hero worship Izzy, must have been the perfect knife for Alice's back.

A knife that I had _no_ interest in twisting.

"We're friends, Cynthia," I said quietly, firmly choosing one term over the other. "But you're wrong. She's been so kind to me it's absurd. I think that you'll find that your sister _does_ have a lot to give if you can be patient enough to find that out."

Cynthia stared at me for a moment, features twisting before shaking her head, turning on her heel and fleeing from the room.

"You look as if you've seen a ghost."

I felt so emotionally dead that I wasn't even really surprised to see Edward leaning against the doorway to the family room. "How long have you been there?"

"Just a moment or two," Edward said quietly. "Alice texted me SOS, so I drove here as fast as I could." He chuckled, a bitter sound. "I should have guessed that Emmett would pull something like this."

I latched onto that, desperate for distraction as I sank back onto the couch as he entered the room and sat beside me. "What do you mean?"

"It's Valentines Day, and we've had this stupid tradition since we were kids," Edward said quietly, running a hand through his hair. "It became painfully obvious that Emmett and Rosalie were meant to be when we were younger, and it became _equally_ as obvious that Alice and I were very much _not_ going to follow suit." Internally I rolled my eyes heavenward. If only he'd said something like that _days_ go, Alice wouldn't have had to go to the trouble of spelling it out for me.

Edward continued, ignorant of my amused irritation. "Alice declared that it was absolutely selfish of them to enjoy the holiday of love by themselves. They ought to be in the same boat as us, celebrating it with people they could only claim platonic affection for." He peeked at me, green eyes dancing with amusement now. "So she declared that Emmett would now be her valentine, and Rosalie mine until we both found true loves of our own." His expression fell. "He drove hours to get here and celebrate it with her like old times."

"That's really sweet," I whispered, trying to smile.

Edward reached forward and with fingers trailing fire, he stroked down my cheek from my temple to my jaw. A shudder ran the length of my spine. "No, you are," he said quietly, eyes burning into mine. "I heard what you said on behalf of Alice. You're a good friend."

Longing nearly undid me, and I looked away, cheeks flushing. "Did Izzy come between them?"

Edward's hand dropped to his lap. "Yes," he said quietly. "She'd stop by every now and then and drop off her cast offs, thousands of dollars worth of purses and designer costume jewelry. And with such a moody older sister, it seemed only natural to turn to another source for kindness, especially such a glamorous one. It didn't even really matter that Izzy barely even remembered her name and really didn't care about her. At least Izzy occasionally gave her the time of day."

I nodded slowly. I'd been close then. "Did that…hurt Alice?"

"She wouldn't admit it out loud to me; it certainly frustrated her a lot. But…yes, I think it did hurt her," Edward said quietly. "It was a betrayal. And Alice has a hard time forgiving people who do that."

 _And yet, she chose to forgive Charlie…_

I'd already observed in Alice an almost ruthless practicality. I was beginning to wonder if Alice had used some of it to weigh which relationships in her life rehabilitate. Perhaps she'd considered what every person could bring her if she accepted them back into her circle of trust.

Charlie could pay for college should a scholarship prove impossible. She'd championed money as a legitimate concern earlier, hadn't she?

But a father who had presumably deserted them in a messy divorce? A sister who had betrayed her with the enemy? And a mother who…well, I don't know what she'd done to aggravate Alice, but surely she'd done _something_.

Perhaps somewhere down the line with all the trauma and turmoil, family had become expendable to Alice. After all, she had the best friends and their parents to act as her surrogate family.

With the Cullens around, what need did Alice have of the Brandons?

It was a horrible thought. But it wasn't implausible.

My heart squeezed painfully in my chest at the thought of an Alice who had lost all faith in every member of her family. And as badly as I felt for Cynthia, I also couldn't truly sympathize with her. She'd been young, true, but her friendship with Izzy was just _another_ brand of Izzy's psychological warfare.

Perhaps Alice should learn to forgive her sister and mother. But I would be the _last_ to fault her if she didn't.

I nodded again, burying my head in my hands. "Thank you," I said softly, grateful that he even trusted me with this much knowledge. "I just…wish that there was something I could do to help her. I know that it's not my fault, but I still…" I shook my head and sighed in frustration.

"Well, you've taken Izzy out of the equation," Edward said thoughtfully. "That's something _I_ thank whatever higher power is out there every day for."

"Ha, ha," I muttered back.

He laughed. "No, I really do understand." His voice became sadder. "We've all got our scars and our baggage. But something tells me Alice is going to make it through this just fine."

I didn't want her 'just fine'. I wanted her to be totally reconciled to her family. I wanted her life perfect again, if it ever had been.

"Want to go check up on Emmett and Alice now?" Edward said. He got to his feet, though, so I figured it wasn't really a choice at this point.

"He _hates_ me, you know," I whispered as I followed suit.

"He doesn't know you," he said gently, taking my hand and tugging it. Immediately my heart rate began to increase, and I prayed that he couldn't feel it. "You are one of the most courageous people I know to face people who, because of circumstances totally out of your control, only treat you with disdain. The more I think about the way you faced Alice and I, the more amazed I feel, especially when I consider your natural temperament."

I felt my cheeks begin to burn at the complement. "I was just too selfish to leave you both alone," I said, looking away.

"Then I'm grateful to you for indulging in that selfish desire," Edward said before chuckling softly. "And there's that beautiful blush of yours again."

I groaned and let my hair fall like a curtain between us, hopefully hiding my face. His flirting had taken a distinctly more intimate edge today, and I wasn't sure if I was adjusting very well to it all. "Let's just go find Emmett and Alice."

Edward laughed again before tightening his hand around mine and beginning to lead me forward towards the staircase and thus Alice's room. "Your wish is my command," he said lightly.

He didn't relinquish my hand on the rather narrow and cramped stairs, only modifying it to hold my hand looser until we got to Alice and Emmett's door. I could hear some voices muffled within; it didn't _sound_ like anyone was crying or yelling furiously.

He squeezed my hand. "You'll be fine," he murmured. "We'll explain everything."

I shook my head. "That's not our first concern," I corrected him. "If Emmett doesn't believe you, this could have _serious_ ramifications on your relationships with him."

"We'll avoid that, then," he said, smiling at me reassuringly before dropping my hand (a wise move on his part) and opening up the door to Alice's room.

Alice and Emmett were both perched on her black bedspread and broke off their conversation abruptly when we entered, heads snapping towards us the moment Edward cracked the door open.

"It's about time you got here, Edward," Alice said, clearly exasperated. My heart sank. The conversation didn't sound like it was going well then if her tone were any indication.

"I've only been here for a few minutes, Alice," Edward assured her as he stepped into the room. "You can sit in the desk chair, Bella." He himself settled on the floor, crossing his legs and leaning back on his hands as he stared up at Emmett and Rosalie. The pose looked very natural, as if the three of them had sat like this in here many times before.

The chair at least looked out of the way. Hoping not to intrude, I settled into it quickly, all the while feeling the weight of Emmett's stare. When I finally met his eyes, I found his expression nearly unreadable.

"I just don't get," Emmett said bluntly, "why she's any of our concern."

Alice whacked his arm immediately. "She paid _thirty thousand dollars_ for Edward to be safe!"

"But to a girl like Izzy, that money is nothing," Emmett said reasonably, frowning at Alice as he nursed his arm. Even Emmett wasn't immune to one of Alice's signature punches, and I couldn't help but wince in sympathy for him. _And she even looked like she was trying to hurt him. Ouch._

"Haven't you heard a _word_ I've told you? She's _not Izzy_!" Alice burst out. "See what I mean, Edward? He's being _annoying_."

"Alright, alright!" Emmett held up his hands in surrender. "I get that you really think it's not Izzy. Sure, whatever. But even if it's not, it's still true that that money doesn't mean anything to her. She didn't earn it herself; it was just sitting in a bank account waiting for her to spend. Just because she spent a lot of money she doesn't care about to help Edward in the end really doesn't mean much, at least to me. And anyways, didn't she owe him for helping her with the bastard boyfriend?"

"Ex boyfriend," Edward corrected absently before answering in an utterly reasonable tone, "If she spent that much money out of the misplaced idea that she owed me anything, she over paid me several times over. I just spoke to Jacob and distracted him until she could kick him and get away herself. Alice did more than I did, in the end." _He really was listening to Mike then that day._ Those had been the reasons that Mike had given for downplaying Edward's role in my rescue.

"So she actually _bought_ her way into your hearts?" Emmett surmised. "Oh, come _on_ , Edward! I'm not trying to be unreasonable, but we all know Izzy has been trying to get in your pants for years, and this sounds _really_ suspicious."

Edward, who had been making such a point of being unruffled just a moment before, suddenly transformed, his face dark with cold fury and resentment. "Do you think that for a _second_ that I could touch her or speak to her if I thought that she was Izzy?"

I watched emotions flicker and pass through Emmett's open face. What had been unreadable before became clear as he faced Edward. Conflicted, regretful, angry…sad. "…No. Of course not."

Edward's whitened knuckles relaxed, and I watched his face soften. "I believe her because I've been with her, day in and day out, for _weeks_. I've seen her grace and poise in situations where Izzy would have dissolved into being catty and petulant. I've observed the sincerity of her feelings for Alice and me in a thousand different ways. And more than that, Emmett, once I believed her, I found that I just _liked_ her as a human being. So isn't that enough to be concerned with her?"

Emmett seemed to consider his words for a moment, and from his expressions, I could tell that he was vacillating between thoughtful contemplation and agonized confusion. "But what about her face? Don't you care that it's _hers_?"

And _that_ was a very good question, something that I wanted to know the answer to myself.

"It takes some getting used to," Edward admitted, and I smiled wryly to myself even as my self confidence plummeted. _Well. That's one thing I forgot to incorporate into my insecurities. Not only am I more or less plain (especially minus the makeup that everyone seems so attached to), but I have the face and body of the person he hates most in the entire world._ "But for one thing, she doesn't look or act anything like Izzy now outside of the highlights. And for another, I've just gotten used to it, Emmett. Truly, they look like entirely different people, like Izzy's nothing more than an evil twin."

Emmett's lips thinned, and he turned the full weight of his stare on me for the first time since I'd sat down. "Alice said you claimed to know something of vampires, but how do I know you're not just stringing her along?"

"Emmett!" Alice exclaimed, scandalized.

"It's not like you know a whole lot about them, Al," Emmett said, unrepentant. "And isn't it _just so convenient_ that she's from an alternate universe where it doesn't matter if anything is slightly off in her recollections?"

 _Drat._ I'd always known that was an issue with my story. It had been part of what had made telling my story to Edward the first time around so incredibly difficult, knowing that I could offer no proof. I'd just had to trust him with judgment of me regardless of the almost absurd lack of evidence.

"And she also didn't bring up vampires until Alice brought it up," Emmett said. "Or did I hear that wrong?"

"No," Edward said quietly. "That's correct. She didn't bring it up until Alice did."

 _Oh. Crap._

"Again, that's a bit _too_ convenient. I wonder if Alice had brought up werewolves and witches, she would have claimed prior knowledge for that also. So," Emmett said, clapping his hands together. "Let's see what you know about Jazzy boy that Alice hasn't already told you."

"Jazzy boy?" Alice repeated, confused.

"It's a nickname I've given him in my head," Emmett said dismissively. Alice paused before shrugging, apparently deciding to let it go. With no side argument brewing, Emmett's eyes then turned back towards me expectantly.

"Actually, I never really got to know Jasper," I said, heart already beginning to sink. I had a pretty good idea what he would say to an admission like that.

"How convenient," Emmett said, eyebrows raising meaningfully at Edward and Alice. _Yup. I was right._ "Ow! Oh, come on, Alice!"

Alice retracted her arm with a huff. "Gosh you're irritating!"

"If she can describe Jasper _without error_ , then I'll believe that she's not just lying and trying to manipulate you two," Emmett assured her, reaching over and ruffling her already messed up hair. "And then we can go look at your Valentines Day gift, alright?" Emmett turned away from her without waiting for her answer and quirked a brow challengingly at me. "Well?"

I tried to swallow, but my mouth was as dry as sandpaper. "He has blonde hair…um, over six feet tall. He could sense and manipulate emotions…" I bit my lip, running through what few facts I knew about him. "He was kind. I remember…when a dangerous situation came up, and he and Alice were protecting me, he tried to help me not feel as guilty, even though I was a horrible danger to him and his family."

"Very vague," Emmett noted. "Ow!"

"Continue, Bella," Alice said with a prim sniff. Why was I suddenly suspecting that Alice didn't care about Emmett's test so much as hearing more about Jasper?

"A tracker named James chased me all the way to Phoenix in an attempt to murder me and suck my blood," I said, eye twitching. "Is that specific enough?"

Emmett paused. "…Tracker?" He appeared completely unruffled by my muted irritation.

"I don't really know either," I said, shaking my head. "I assume it means he just liked the challenge of hunting things. And I became his best game yet. In a ploy to distract him, Alice and Jasper snuck me out of Washington back to Arizona. In the end, James ended up almost killing me anyway, but it was only because I was stupid."

"I would correct you, but you have astonishingly poor survival instincts," Edward admitted. I rolled my eyes, but what could I say? He was probably right.

"Are you satisfied, yet?" Alice demanded. "She obviously knows Jasper."

"Not quite," Emmett said. "We can't check that story at all, so it's irrelevant to her case. Continue, Bella."

 _There isn't much more that I know about him._ "I think he liked chess," I said desperately. "He enjoyed strategy. He wouldn't play with Alice, though, because she could always guess his moves and figure out his strategies in advance. With you, Emmett, he just liked to wrestle. Any time you were restless, you provoked him. But I never got to watch because Edward always dragged me away. Apparently it's not safe for a human to watch vampires wrestle."

"What about his history?" Emmett pressed, eyes burning into mine as he leaned forward from his perch on the bed. "Where was he from? How did he meet Alice? Any other striking physical characteristics?"

Now somewhat panicked by my complete inability to think of answers to those questions, I bit my lip and averted my eyes, trying to think of any trace, any hint of Jasper's history. "He…sometimes spoke with a southern accent, mostly when he was flirting with Alice. I think she thought it was charming. So…I assume he's somewhere from the South?" I shook my head. "Jasper wasn't a vegetarian for most of his vampire life—"

"Vegetarian?" Emmett interrupted.

"A diet of animals," Edward explained quickly. "At least, that's what I'm inferring based on previous conversations." I nodded the affirmative.

"Ah," Emmett said. "Continue, then."

"He didn't always hunt animals, so the switch was difficult for him," I said. "More so than the rest of you, his self control was the weakest, so Edward didn't like for me to be near him much."

"And on this trip with just you, Alice, and Jasper, you just discussed the weather?" Emmett asked critically.

"I was running for my life, sick with worry for Edward, and exhausted. And besides that, Edward had ordered Alice not to talk about certain subjects relating to vampires with me, so I don't think either of them were feeling very open to chatting at that time," I said, somewhat sharply.

"Can't you see that she's telling the truth?" Edward interrupted, voice and eyes pleading. If such a stare had been turned on me, I knew from experience that _I_ wouldn't have lasted long. "Alice, is any of what she's saying matching up?"

Alice looked back and forth between Edward and Emmett's expectant gazes before rolling her eyes. "You both _do_ realize that I'm lucky to catch a glimpse of him doing anything but hunting, reading in dusty libraries, or meeting me, right? I don't know hardly anything about him other than the fact that we're going to fall in love."

"Oh, come on!" Emmett protested petulantly. " _Some_ of it has to be ringing true!"

"Well, of course she got his physical appearance right," Alice said, eying Emmett as if he were a bug on the bottom of her shoe. "Do you expect me to just sit here while she rattles off wrong information?"

"Well? Isn't that good enough, then?" Edward pressed, frustration beginning to leak into his voice. "She's telling the truth, Emmett."

Emmett regarded us for a moment. "…And you really don't wear makeup?" He asked quizzically. "It looks so…weird."

"For better or for worse, this is just how I am," I said, tone even.

"Emmett! If you believe her or you don't, just say it," Edward said impatiently, running a hand through his hair. "It's fine if you don't, but I don't want you to spend the next few hours pretending you don't when you do."

Emmett grinned at Edward. "You know me so well," he said fondly before he grew more serious. His eyes returned to me once more. "Alright. So, maybe I can't prove your story completely false because my best friends in the entire world seem to believe you. And you seem nice enough. So I think I'm going to give you a _chance_." His eyes darkened. "But if I see even a _hint_ of Izzy's shallow, manipulative nature, I'm not going to let you walk away unscathed. Got it?"

"You're overreacting," Alice said with a disgusted toss of her head.

"No, he's not," I said, rubbing at my eyes tiredly. "And that's fine. I accept."

"Great!" Emmett clapped his hands as he leapt to his feet. "Now, I've planned a fantastic Valentines Day surprise for you, Al, so if you'd please…"

"The gift was totally unnecessary," Alice said, but she was smiling as she got up to follow him towards the door. "Having you here is more than enough. It's better than a hundred Valentines Day gifts, actually."

"Aw," Emmett cooed, mussing her hair. "Well, aren't you just _sweet_ … But that's too darn tootin' bad, because I got you one anyway. And if you don't like it, you better believe there will be consequences of the noogie nature…" Their voices faded down the hall and down the stairs.

"That could have gone a lot worse," Edward said thoughtfully as he turned to smile at me. Now that the danger had passed, I could see all the subtle signs of tension easing in his expression.

I tried to smile back, but I could hear Emmett's words in my head still. _I just don't get why she's any of our concern._

He wasn't chasing me out of the house with a knife, but he hadn't even spared me a glance as he left the room. Emmett had meant what he'd said. He was giving me a chance. But he wasn't giving me much more.

Edward sighed as he got to his feet. "Don't worry," he said softly, walking over and brushed a lock of hair behind my ear. I inhaled sharply at the contact, and my cheeks immediately began to redden. _Oh, dang. Why does his effect on me have to be so_ obvious _?_ "It's going to be fine."

I didn't bother pointing out the obvious fact that he couldn't know that. Instead, I just nodded dutifully.

Edward smiled down at me before grabbing my hand again and dragged me to my feet. "Come on, then," Edward said. "I'm quite curious to see this gift myself."

 _And I'm quite curious as to why you decided to start holding my hand._ I shook my head to myself though I followed him dutifully. Oh, well. Perfectly defined boundaries were more boring, anyway.

 _Because that's the_ last _thing I need right now_ , I said silently to my racing heart. _Something utterly and wonderfully boring._

* * *

 **A/N:** So, in case you didn't read the authors note at the top, I'll say it again: this is _probably_ the second to last chapter.

When I set out to write this story, I really had no idea what I was doing outside of bringing Edward and Bella together. Then I got this _brilliant_ idea (ha; yeah, not really) for an action plot.

But I'm about 126,000 words into the story as a whole, and it just didn't feel right to me. First of all, it kind of comes out of nowhere. This story is really about Edward and Bella getting together and working through emotional things and the like. An action plot that adds another thirty, forty thousand words to the story is a bit much, to me at least. Second of all, I feel like the quality of the writing just goes downhill from the next chapter. I've been _dreading_ chapter thirteen because I knew that from that point on, I'll be letting all of my readers down.

So, this is my solution: Alternate Realities will be complete after I post the next chapter. I don't have to compromise quality or drag my readers on a wild goose chase.

But _if_ you're willing to brave sloppy writing and a departure from the quality I've sort of maintained in this story, I plan to post the rest of the writing. I can promise that it won't be _nearly_ as good as the last five or six chapters of Alternate Realities, but it'll still be there if you're curious.

Thank you for all of your patience with a novice writer like me. I had no idea what I was doing the entire time, and you have all be most forgiving and supportive. ^-^


	13. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Alright! Here's the last and final chapter of Alternate Realities: chapter 12. If we're being honest here, though, the reality is that this is really chapter 13. Cause I don't know about you, but there is something _seriously_ chapter 1-y about the prologue. And suspiciously _not_ like a prologue. Like, _at all_.

 **Disclaimer:** I should really have a clever, last exclaimer. But I think it would be difficult to top last chapter's. So I'll leave it at my owning nothing.

Chapter 12:

When I came upon Edward and Alice at lunch the day after Valentines, they were arguing in hushed whispers.

"-so _stupid_ -" Edward whispered furiously, a vein on his neck bulging as he stared down his petite best friend as if a glare alone could possibly cow her.

Alice, for her part, looked almost completely unaffected. Though she looked as if she'd just caught a whiff of something unpleasant, that was really how she looked most of the time at school. For all of his attempts at intimidating her, he wasn't gaining much ground. "Don't be _lame_!" She hissed before looking away from him and beaming up at me with a completely artificial grin. "Hey, Bella!"

Edward only pinched the bridge of his nose. "Come on, Bella," he said, grabbing his backpack. "Let's get to class."

"Um..." I frowned questioningly at Alice, but she only smiled innocently up at me. I'd never been more irritated by a resemblance between the two alternate Alices. "Okay."

I'd started eating lunch with Edward and Alice, but today had been a notable exception. Miss Palmer had asked me to come in at lunch today to work on my last essay. Whatever had softened her towards my formerly B-worthy work had apparently lost its effect, and I'd made a solid 86% on my last essay. I'd just spent the last thirty minutes practically doubling the essay before I finally satisfied her that I'd "actually read _Great Expectations":_

 _I'm going to have to study more from now on._ Skating by in English was no longer an option if I wanted to actually get an A this semester.

In the end, I only managed to get to the library where Edward and Alice had eaten (and apparently started arguing) just as the bell rang. _Darn it,_ I thought sourly. _That was probably my only opportunity to hang out with Alice today._

 _But I've still got forty five minutes with Edward. That's something._

I glanced at Edward, and I found his expression mid-transformation. All hints of anger were being smoothed over right before my eyes. _He probably doesn't want to talk about what he was just arguing with Alice about,_ I guessed. _I bet he'll say something to distract me now._

"Did you sleep well? You look tired," he said, eyes warm with concern as he turned to regard me as we walked.

 _Spot on._ "I've just been having nightmares lately," I admitted. Jake had receded to the background of even my subconscious, but James more than made up for his absence. "Nothing to do about it, though."

Edward frowned down at me and winced with sympathy. "I know how that feels," he said quietly. "I wish I could suggest a remedy, but I can't seem to escape my own."

"Sometimes, I think it would be easier not to have to sleep," I said with half a smile up at him.

He chuckled softly at that. "Amen to that."

Edward paused before the Biology classroom door to let me pass first, and I was obediently taking the hint when my eyes connected with a girl I knew only by face and not name. I knew she was one of Angela's cronies, and I'm sure if I looked at my phone, I'd have found some pictures of her there.

What caught me were her eyes: a shade of blue frozen solid with enmity.

Her lips twitched, but before I could inspect her expression any further, I promptly tripped over my own feet. She disappeared from sight as I stumbled into the classroom.

"Bella!" Edward exclaimed, exasperated as he grabbed my elbow to steady me. "It's difficult enough for you to walk when you _do_ focus. Please be more mindful!"

"Thanks," I said absently. _Geez. I never realized before just how disturbing it is to go to school with peers that seriously hate your guts._

I heard a sigh from beside me, and I looked over at Edward in surprise. "I hate it when you just brush me off like that," he complained, his lips pulling down into a pout. "Like you're a martyr for enduring my nagging."

I laughed as I set down my backpack on the floor by my chair and settled in, this time mindful of not keeling over and falling in the process (it could definitely happen with my luck). "I'm sorry, then?"

Edward's lips twitched. "I suppose I can forgive you...though you don't seem quite sure if you even need my forgiveness," he noted before turning back to his backpack.

Well, he was right about that. "Did we have homework?" I wondered as Mr. Banner got up and shut the door despite the fact that the bell wouldn't ring for a moment or two more. He did that sometimes, I'd noticed. _Weird. He just has to get up later to let students in._

"Does it matter?" He asked me dryly, eyes piercing and insufferably self righteous. "If you had to ask, it's obvious that you didn't do it if there was."

"Was there?" I pressed, feeling my left eye twitch. Couldn't he have just _answered_ me? _Sometimes, I'm inclined to agree with Alice. He_ is _annoying. He's charming at the same time, but it still grates a bit all the same._ Never mind that I wouldn't have him any other way.

"Well, lucky for you, there wasn't," Edward said sternly; his eyes, though, were twinkling with smug amusement.

 _Jerk. Fine. Time for me to play my hand._ "Say, what were you talking about with Alice earlier?" I asked sweetly, leaning my head against my hand innocently.

Edward's smile hardened into plastic, and he flashed me a beautiful but undeniably _fake_ smile. "Nothing of consequence," he assured me. "Which reminds me..." He slipped out his phone.

"What—"

He held up a hand to shush me, and my mouth snapped shut. "I only have a moment before he starts class," Edward explained absently, jerking his head in the direction of Mr. Banner who looked like he was tearing open a packet of worksheets to pass out. _Oh, joy._ "I need to send this text to Emmett as soon as possible."

I quirked a brow at him. "Right. Nothing of consequence," I said with a disbelieving shake of my head. _So inconsequential that you have to text Emmett as soon as possible? Of course, I don't know for sure that the two matters (this text to Emmett and the argument with Alice) are related, but with those three, the probability is high._

He only shrugged in response and continued texting. _Why am I not surprised?_

I shook my head again but obediently left him alone, turning towards the front of the room and Mr. Banner who was just about to start the lecture. Whatever he was arguing with Alice and Emmett about, it was probably in my best interest in the end.

Probably.

* * *

I appraised my front doorstep critically. _Whoever it is that's been leaving me presents is late,_ I thought to myself. The porch was conspicuously bare.

 _One of these days I should set up a camera, just for curiosity's sake,_ I thought as I pushed against the heavy wood of the door.

"Hey, Bells, is that you?"

I looked up in surprise to see Charlie jog into the foyer, his face bright with excitement. "Um…hey," I greeted, rubbing the back of my neck somewhat awkwardly. He looked like a kid on Christmas morning. I'd always sucked with kids.

"Hey, Ross, come on in and meet my daughter!" Charlie called over his shoulder before coming to a stop in front of me. "Hey, kiddo! How was your day at school?"

 _Kiddo?_ And something tells me he doesn't _really_ care about the answer to that. "It was good," I said, shifting under the weight of my backpack. "What's up?"

"I just had my first flight lesson!" Charlie said, rolling on the balls of his feet as if he couldn't quite keep still. "It's _nothing_ like those boring flight simulations, Bells!"

"That's not something I like to hear," I heard a voice protest, and I looked up to see who I presumed was Ross. For a moment I almost doubled back; he looked _so much_ like my Jacob with the russet skin and long black hair. But upon closer inspection, that was where the similarities really ended. Ross looked rougher than Jacob ever had with bulging muscles revealed by a sleeveless shirt and tattoos running the length of his arms. But his long hair was tied back neatly at the nape of his neck, and his expression was warm. "Hey, I'm Ross," he greeted, extending a hand towards me. His handshake was firm and warm.

"I'm Bella," I said, smiling. "Thanks for taking a chance and going up in the sky with my Dad."

"He's a natural," Ross said dismissively. "Of course, his landings could use a bit of work, but I don't doubt he'll put it in. This is a man _obsessed_."

"You should come up with us next time!" Charlie said brightly.

I grimaced at the thought. It didn't sound scary so much as utterly pointless. "I'm not big on heights, actually," I lied with an awkward smile up at him.

Charlie paused. "Oh. Right."

 _Well. That was lucky. Apparently Izzy actually was afraid of heights._ "I'm going to go put my stuff upstairs now, Dad," I said before nodding at Ross. "It was nice meeting you."

"Sure," Ross said back with an easy grin. I could clearly see that one of his nearly flawlessly white teeth was chipped.

"By the way, Bella, don't be surprised if you start seeing a lot of him in the future," Charlie said when I was a few steps away.

"Hm?" I turned to look at him in confusion.

"I've booked Ross for lessons every day this week," Charlie explained, and my brows raised.

"Don't people…usually have lessons _once_ a week?" I asked, fidgeting with the straps of my backpack.

"Not if you can pay me as much as this guy is," Ross said, nodding towards Charlie with a grin.

"It's a small fortune," Charlie admitted but then added with a bright smile, "But it's definitely worth it. At this rate, I might be able to get my license in a month or two."

I smiled at him. "That's great, Dad."

Charlie grinned widened. "Alright, alright, I'll let you go now," he said, waving a hand dismissively at me. "I've got dinner tonight covered, by the way, so don't worry about it."

"Thanks," I said before waving at Ross one last time and turning on my heel and continuing on my way to my room.

* * *

"Oh, man, you're _actually studying?_ "

Every inch of me vibrated with shock as I started in surprise. For an instant, I thought I could feel a trace of burning venom in my wrist and hear a ghost of laughter while my bones snapped and shattered.

Then I took in the hulking form in the doorway of my room. _Emmett._

 _Not James. Emmett._

Emmett hadn't spoken to me or even really looked at me since our conversation yesterday in Alice's bedroom, so to have the weight of his eyes on me now was unsettling to say the least.

"Did I scare you?" He grinned at this, but it was only a mockery of how he'd smiled with Alice and Edward yesterday. The hallmark of Emmett's manner in both universes was unguarded cheer. But I could see clearly in his eyes a wall, a distance between us that he would not cross so easily.

" _But what about her face? Don't you care that it's hers?"_ I could still hear his words in my mind, even now. Probably the worst part about the question was the sincerity of it. _When he sees me here now…is he just seeing Izzy? And if that's the case…how difficult is it for him to bear?_

"Yeah," I said finally, just to say _something_.

"Excellent," Emmett said, but when I looked at him sharply, I found him only smiling mischievously. _He probably didn't mean that seriously. He doesn't want revenge, even in such a small, petty way. Probably._ "Hope you don't mind my dropping by unannounced. Thought I'd do a surprise visit."

"That's…fine," I said, marking my place in _Hamlet_ and pushing away from the desk. I'd stolen the chair from downstairs since Alice's visit here, and I was still unaccustomed to the hair-raising sound of scraping wood against ruined wood.

"See, I don't know if Alice or Eddie explained this to you," Emmett said in an offhand sort of way as he casually began a thorough inspection of the room, "but Alice doesn't just have visions of Jazzy boy. Occasionally, unimportant, mostly irrelevant matters come up." He began to tap his feet experimentally on the floor. _Looking for loose boards?_

He didn't continue, and I rubbed the back of my neck uncomfortably. _Waiting for a response?_ Finally, I said, "I see."

Emmett nodded to himself before dropping flat on the ground as he poked his head under my bed. "Whoo! Dusty under here," he commented to me.

"Sorry," I said, brows furrowing in confusion. _Why is Emmett searching through my room?_

"Nah, you don't have to apologize," Emmett said as he rolled away from my bed and sat up. He winked at me before adding, "If we're being real here, you'd find a _lot_ more than dust under my bed."

The awkwardness I felt was so powerful that for a few seconds I just stared at him, frozen. _What are you doing? He just said something mildly amusing. Laugh, Bella._ _ **Laugh**_ _._

When I attempted it, it came out so awkwardly that I had to sit on my hands to keep them from slapping my face. _Idiot. Idiot!_

Emmett laughed, probably just at my ridiculously awkward response, and it was so perfectly genuine I didn't know if I should feel jealous or insulted.

"Just pizza boxes and underwear, though," Emmett said as he leapt to his feet in an impressive show of agility considering his sheer bulk. I'm sure Charlie could hear the _thump_ from downstairs. "I keep my porn stash somewhere special." He winked again with a roguish smile, and this time I couldn't even laugh awkwardly. I just grimaced. He laughed out loud again and shook his head. "Kidding, kidding. Just trying to get all the inappropriate humor out of my system before we're reunited with Edward."

"Sure," I said, still trying to figure out exactly what he'd been kidding _about_.

As if reading my mind, he said, almost absently as he neared my closet, "I've never had the taste for porn after the time when Izzy stole my clothes in the shower. Can't quite explain it, but there's something about pictures or videos of naked women that doesn't quite sit well with me now…may I?" He paused before my closet door, and he turned to face me.

"…Um," I got to my feet then. "I'd rather you didn't poke around in my underwear drawer, but…I guess, go ahead." Something told me it was not thoughtlessness on Emmett's part to arrive here unannounced. He hadn't wanted me to know he was coming and contaminate the evidence. What this room was evidence _of_ I had no idea.

Emmett's hand dropped from the door as he stepped away. "No, that's fine," he said, eyes already darting around the room as if he'd already forgotten all about my closet.

 _Interesting. I mentioned underwear, and he backed off._

Emmett had only mentioned that one experience as an influence on his decision to shun pornography, but in reality, it was probably the result of years of harassment, not the least of which being Izzy's final crime.

The Emmett before me apparently still told awkward jokes as easily as the Emmett before. But the respect he acted with towards me? Almost incomparable.

"Um…that's some interesting décor you have here," Emmett said to get my attention, and I dragged my eyes towards him. He was standing by the window with one hand pulling back the navy blue curtains that served the purpose of hiding the rain drenched skies that I still found so depressing. He twisted to look at me uncertainly, and I frowned.

"What do you mean?" I got to my feet and uncertainly moved forward until I saw what Emmett must have seen when he pulled back the curtain.

 _Oh._

The road kill depositor hadn't been late today. He/she/they had simply chosen a different spot to deposit the road kill: right outside my window. For there hung a squirrel, soaked by rain and little clawed paws scraping the window with every push of the breeze. I'd barely heard it over the sound of the rain pinging glass, but now it was unmistakable, unmistakable and horrifying and a thousand times worse than wood scraping wood. A _thousand_ times.

Fevered chills broke out over my body, and I stumbled back a step.

I found out my boyfriend was sneaking into my room every night for weeks to watch me sleep, and the only thing I cared about then was if I'd said something embarrassing in my sleep. It never occurred to me to feel betrayed or freaked out because I _trusted_ him.

But this? This was _entirely different_.

Someone didn't just leave a possum or squirrel or bird on my front doorstep and then drive away. Someone took the time to unlock the gate to my backyard, _climb up_ outside my window twenty or thirty feet off the ground, and painstakingly hang this dead rodent there.

How had they gotten up here?

 _How did they know this window was mine?_

"…Not décor, then," Emmett said quietly, eyes wide as he observed my reaction.

I shook my head slowly, and I turned away. _Don't you dare get sick in front of him, Bella._

"You need to sit down?" Emmett said, voice so soft and gentle like I was a spooked animal he needed to sooth. _He's being so nice about this even though he's probably suffered things a thousand times worse than this._

"I'm fine," I said, voice faint in my ears. Mostly, all I could hear was my own heartbeat. All I saw were bare white walls and chipped plaster.

 _How did they know this window was mine?_

 _How did they know?_

"Has this been going on long?" Emmett asked, growing businesslike as he lead me to the bed.

"A few days, weeks, I'm not sure," I said, shaking my head in an effort to yank myself out of my daze. It mostly worked.

"I take it that it's usually not hanging outside your bedroom window?" Emmett checked cautiously while he moved back towards the window.

I nodded in answer before I realized that his back was to me, and he didn't have eyes in the back of his eyes to see my nod. My stomach dropped. Was I really _that_ shaken up over this? Stupid.

But my skin was crawling. _How did they know, how did they know, how did they know…_

"No, they're not," I said, forcing the words out to break the terrifying mantra. "They were always waiting for me after school, nailed to the front door. Charlie only ever uses the garage, so he never saw. I just cleaned it up and never said anything."

"Well, that was stupid of you," Emmett said, but his voice wasn't exactly unkind as he says it. Mostly matter of fact, but there's an empathetic edge to it. I watched him work the latches on my window, and it slid under his touch without so much as a creak.

 _Why would that window open so easily?_

He avoided the squirrel that was trembling in the wind, and he stuck his head straight out the window. I opened my mouth to protest, but he was already back inside.

"Yup. The person nailed it again," Emmett said. "By the way, the wall outside is made of brick with what looks like great footholds, at least from what I can tell. If my memory serves me right, your boyfriend used to use it to sneak in. The bad news is that if _I_ knew that, _anyone_ in this town probably knows too."

That explained why the window opened so easily. "I see," I whispered. "I didn't know."

"I figured," Emmett said offhandedly as he stepped back in, and I could see some water droplets caught in his curls like little beads of glass. "What with your not being Izzy and all."

I looked at him, and I found him shutting the window with quick, precise movements. I knew in my head that all he was doing was shutting a window, but I also knew that I wasn't shaking anymore.

He knew what he was doing, and he wasn't panicking. So I didn't have to panic either.

 _In. Out. Breathe._

I felt gratitude well up. "Emmett, thanks. I…" The words tumbled out, but I didn't want to stop them. If I could hold onto this security for a moment longer, if I could talk instead of thinking about my dead squirrel nailed outside my window and the stranger who knew exactly which window in a mansion full of windows was mine, then I'd keep talking. "If I'd been alone when I found that, I'm…not sure how I would have reacted."

Emmett chuckled. "I don't think I've ever been thanked so sincerely for snooping; you're certainly welcome." He turned fully back to face me and folded his arms. "Since I am here, though, I'm going to ask you: what are you going to do now?"

I looked down at my hands. "Um…"

"Whoever this is has escalated things," Emmett said softly, reasonably. "They wanted you to feel afraid. It may, well, will probably get worse if something doesn't change. Now, you're not _solely_ responsible for whether things escalate or not. Maybe whoever this is will get bored or wake up and realize how sick this game is. But you can't depend on it. So, I'll ask again: what are you going to do?"

I stared at my hands, skin red from being wrung anxiously in my fright. I flexed them once before letting them drop, relaxed, onto my lap. "I'll tell Charlie," I whispered finally. "I'll show him the squirrel, and then I'll work something out with him."

"Good." He must have moved closer because his hand reached out and mussed my hair like I was just a little kid instead of an almost complete stranger in a despicable enemy's body.

I looked up at him, and he grinned down at me, as if daring me to comment on the hair mussing just committed. But when I opened my mouth, it was to comment on something very different. "Emmett, why are you here?"

Emmett blinked. "Huh. I forgot; I was totally gearing up to tell you." He steps away then as he moves towards my bathroom. "Can I poke around in here?"

"It's safe," I assured him, rubbing my hands together to find some warmth. It was significantly warmer today than it had been yesterday at almost sixty degrees. For February here in Forks, I'm sure it was almost unthinkably nice weather for this time of year. But there was a chill about me now that I couldn't quite shake.

"Well, I was saying earlier that Alice has had less important visions before." I heard the clatter of wooden cabinets clattering shut. "She had this one vision a few months ago before everything went to Hades, and it didn't make any sense at the time: Izzy's bedroom, ugly and bare and just kind of messed up. You get me?"

"Basically what it is now?" I guessed.

"It's certainly looking that way," Emmett agreed as he stepped out from the bathroom. _That was quick._ "We told her that was crazy, though, and we all more or less agreed that her visions weren't really visions." The corners of his mouth pulled down at that, and he looked away. "We probably should have been more supportive."

I remembered Edward's words from Biology what felt like years ago. _It got to the point where we were honestly afraid that if we applied any more pressure to each other, we'd all snap._

"I think you were all dealing with enough," I said softly.

Emmett shrugged. "Well, anyways, I just wanted to see it for myself," he said, not even really responding to my words. _Darn it! Why do they all hurt themselves when what they need to be doing more than anything else is cut themselves some slack? Will they ever_ stop _suffering from the cruelty of others?_ "You've got an impressively ugly room, by the way."

I shrugged. I didn't know how to explain that the gaudy lavishness of it had set my teeth on edge and nearly driven me insane in combination with the hatred of him and Edward and Alice. "I like it," I offered lamely.

Emmett laughed at that. "Alright. You passed my test." His eyes danced amusement and mischief as he grinned down at me. "How about celebrating?"

* * *

Somehow, I wasn't surprised to find myself back on top of the tallest cliff in La Push for the second time in forty eight hours. It felt fitting to begin and end this episode with Emmett here.

Edward and Alice were sitting with legs dangling over the edge of the cliff. As I stepped out of Emmett's jeep, I watched Alice shove Edward teasingly. My heart leapt up in my throat, but to my relief, instead of plummeting to his certain death, he only laughed and remained blessedly attached to the top of the cliff.

Alice turned to look at us, and the light in her eyes was wonderfully familiar. "You guys took _forever_!" She accused as she got to her feet. Edward followed suit, but his expression was darkening quickly. I remembered their whispered conversation from earlier. _"—so dumb—" "Don't be lame!"_

Looks like he still thinks this is dumb.

"Bella and I had a run in with a dead squirrel nailed to her window," Emmett said with an innocent smile at me. At my surprised look, he snorted. "What, did you think I'd let you get away with just telling your Dad? Oh, Bella," he said, placing a heavy, warm hand on my shoulder that I could feel even through my rain jacket, "if there's one rule I follow, it's this: _no secrets_ among friends."

"…Did I miss something?" Edward asked in a strained voice.

"Just what he said," I said, tearing my eyes from Emmett's to smile reassuringly at Edward. "Someone has been leaving dead animals on my porch. Today, they left it outside my bedroom window."

A shadow crept over Edward's expression, and for the second time today, I remembered Edward's words from before. _We were honestly afraid that if we applied any more pressure to each other, we'd all snap._

Of _all_ the people to tell about this, Edward was probably the worst. He was the _last_ person I wanted to worry.

"I'm talking to Charlie about it," I said quickly. "He'll figure something out."

"Bella…" Edward trailed off, green eyes growing darker with worry.

"Don't worry about it, bro," Emmett said, tossing a muscled arm over Edward's shoulder with a grin. "Unlike our parents, _her_ dad is a multimillionaire. She'll be fine."

Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, a familiar picture of frustration. "I just wasn't aware that we were still being targeted," he muttered by way of explanation, and I bit my lip.

" _Please_ don't worry about me," I said finally, jamming my hands in the pockets of my jacket. "I've been through _much_ worse than this; it's not that big of a deal." I didn't dare look at Emmett, the only person who could call my bluff.

The truth is, in that bedroom where Edward hadn't ever even stepped foot before, I _had_ been scared. Before, with James, I'd certainly been terrified, but only at the thought of Edward getting hurt. This time was different. I felt only the cold terror of hunted prey.

But I knew which fear I'd rather feel, and I knew who I'd rather be targeted between us.

And, for that reason, I would shrug this off. For _once_ , this wasn't Edward's burden to bear. I'd talk to Charlie, and we'd figure something out. But Edward wouldn't need to save me this time. He could sit this one out, and if I could be convincing now, hopefully he'd do it with minimal stress or worrying.

"I'm _fine_ ," I repeated firmly.

Edward searched my eyes for a few seconds before rolling his eyes. "Well, of course you are," he said, sounding almost disgusted. " _I'm_ looking. You'd die before asking for my help. Am I right?"

I paused, thoughtful. _Huh._ Even at the end with James, I'd tried to tell Edward not to take revenge. "You're probably right about that," I admitted before my eyes abruptly widened. _Wait. No! Bella, what the heck happened to lying to him and getting him to not worry?_ "Wait. That's besides the point!"

"Disgusting," Alice said, but her eyes weren't on me but on Emmett.

"Sickening," Emmett gagged.

"They deserve each other," Alice muttered darkly before turning on her heel and stalking towards the edge of the cliff.

"And that brings us to our purpose in coming here," Emmett said, now slinging a heavy around my shoulders and pulling me closely into his side. I didn't enjoy it _nearly_ as much as when Edward had done the same thing the night we told Alice my secret. "Tell me, Bella, where are we?"

I craned my neck to look up at him in confusion. "…The top of a cliff?"

He grinned down at me and nudged me. I almost tripped on my face. "That's right! And what do people do on top of cliffs?"

I looked at Edward in alarm. "…Look at the sunset?" I guessed hopefully.

"Nope!" Emmett said, popping the p. "They _jump_ off of them!"

I recoiled from the edge of the cliff, still ten feet away. I found myself wishing desperately that the distance was greater. " _What?_ "

 _What is this, group suicide?!_

Emmett laughed, a hearty sound that I could feel in his side. "You won't die, idiot," he said pleasantly, yanking me steadily closer towards the edge. "It's all in good fun."

"Emmett," Edward growled warningly. "Don't make her if she doesn't want to!"

"I just want to show her that it's not that scary," Emmett said, so reasonable and pleasant I almost forgot that he was leading me towards my impending death.

"Emmett, I have a hard enough not killing myself _without_ tumbling off a two hundred foot cliff," I said, voice growing higher and higher with terror. He stopped two feet away from the lip of the cliff; it was a good thing too because my legs would have given out if he'd pushed me any closer.

"She has a point, Emmett," Edward agreed, coming up to stand on the other side of me. I gaped at him stupidly for a second. _How is he able to stand so close to the edge without looking even the least bit nervous?_ I sort of expected it from Emmett, but _Edward?_

His ease bespoke doing this many times, enough at least to lose any apprehension or fear at the thought of doing it again.

"— _so dumb—"_

 _Maybe it's not that he thinks cliff diving is dumb,_ I realized, feeling somewhat betrayed. _Maybe he just thinks the idea of taking_ me _cliff diving is dumb._

"She'll be fine," Emmett said dismissively. "She's not made of glass. Right, Bella?"

"…Right?" I looked at Edward helplessly, but he was just frowning at Emmett.

"This is taking too long," Alice said impatiently from behind us. Under the restrictive weight of Emmett's arm, I couldn't turn to face her. "Look, Bella. This is something that we did all the time for fun when crap happened at school or home. The fact that Emmett asked for you to be here is a _big deal_. Knowing that, you're not going to say no, right?"

I swallowed. Emmett, who had just less than twenty four hours ago said I was none of his concern, was now encouraging me to jump off a cliff with him in the name of friendship. Even though even the very sight of me bothered him, he'd pulled me close to his side. Event though he only said that he'd give me a chance to prove myself, he was acting like we were already friends.

I tried to swallow. "No."

Edward groaned. "You don't have to, Bella. This is _obviously_ insane, so—"

"Hear that?" Emmett interrupted, whispering loudly in my ear. "He's being _sexist_. Even though he knows _full well_ that it's perfectly safe, he's still acting like you, the only girl here, is going to break into a million pieces if you try to do what we men do with no hesitation."

"Emmett, what the heck!" Alice protested. "I'm _not a man_!"

Emmett released his hold on me to grin goofily at Alice. "Yeah? Prove it, Brandon!"

Alice growled and barreled forward. I watched in horrified fascination as Alice collided with Emmett and they both tumbled over the side of the cliff.

"No—" I screamed and stumbled forward, but Edward's hands tightened over my wrists and jerked me back.

"Not unless you want to join them," Edward cautioned me softly, his voice nearly carried away by the wind.

I stared stupidly at the spot where they'd disappeared from sight. "Isn't it…too cold for that?" I wondered. "Yesterday, it was _freezing_. The water has to feel awful!"

"It is cold," he agreed softly. "They're probably feeling quite miserable at the moment."

"Will they be alright?" I took a step forward, but he only tugged me back again.

"Emmett is a strong swimmer," Edward assured me. "They'll be fine. There are dry towels waiting for them on the beach. I'm sorry if the way they fell alarmed you; I think it was their way of alleviating the pressure on you."

I looked at him in surprise. "Pressure?"

Edward smiled down at me. "They left you alone with me, the only voice of reason and the only person who doesn't want you to jump."

I frowned. "Why _don't_ you want me to jump?" I took a step almost unconsciously away from him, biting my lip. "Do you…not want me here? Is this too…too private a thing for you three? Should I—"

"Bella, I _promise_ you the only thing I'm worried about is you managing to crack your skull open," Edward interrupted. "Not that that should even be _possible_ at this spot, but, well, I have a feeling you might be able to manage."

I smiled shakily up at him as I tried to fold away my fears and gather my courage. It had been stupid to even suspect Edward of that kind of jealousy and resentment when he'd been the most welcoming and accepting of any of them. "I probably could." I looked back at the edge of the cliff. "…If I jump, will you make sure I don't…die?"

When I dared to look at Edward, a breathtaking smile was on his lips. "Why, Isabella Swan, are you actually asking me for help?"

I felt my cheeks flushed in spite of myself. "Will you?" I pressed before confessing, "Because I don't think I can do this without you."

The smile faded from his face though his eyes still seared into mine. The hand that was wrapped tightly around my wrist loosened and moved down, his long, graceful fingers interlocking themselves between mine. "I won't let go," he vowed. "You'll be fine… _if_ that's what you really want to do."

I laughed, a breathy, shaken sound. "Who doesn't want to jump off at least one cliff in their lives?"

Edward shook his head with a sharp, aggravated exhale. "I can't _believe_ I'm letting you get pressured into this…"

"No." I tightened my fingers around is, and I looked deep into his eyes. "I want to." I looked back at the edge of the cliff. Though I was growing dizzy just _looking_ at it, I forced the words out anyway. "You all have done _so much_ for me, letting me into your lives. Emmett was right, that time: I'm really not any of your concern. But…even with her face, even though you had every reason to ignore every word I said, you listened. You believed me. You've accepted me, and you've made life…wonderful for me. So the _least_ I can do is jump off this cliff for you guys."

He was quiet for a long moment before he said, quietly, "Bella? Will you look at me?"

I slowly tore my eyes from the misty horizon and turned to see Edward staring down at me, green eyes lit with something I couldn't quite understand but couldn't quite say I didn't recognize.

And then, slowly, ever so slowly, he leaned closer and closer and _closer_ and—

Pressed his lips to mine.

It was a chaste kiss, just a brush of skin against skin. But it felt like a beginning, like a promise of desire and longing and everything that I had feared I'd lost forever.

And then he pulled away, offering a radiant smile. "Ready?" He whispered, warm breath fanning over my face.

It was impossible for my heart to beat any faster than right then, cliff or no.

It was the perfect time.

I nodded.

We stepped forward, and then without even catching a breath leapt hand in hand off the edge of the cliff.

* * *

Ice became my world for a short time; the once gentle breeze bit into my face like a dripping whip as I tumbled down, down, down…

Ice broke me, pressed into every inch of skin and tore the breath from my lungs as black, inky water encased me. _It's way, way, way too cold for this_. Part of me felt frozen solid, a thousand times colder than on Valentines Day.

And part of me was back on top of the cliff with warm breath fanning across my cheeks.

His hand tightened around mine, and I could hear his shout about the crashing waves. "Are you alright?!"

I looked at him, and I can't stop myself from smiling. Part of me was still back on top of the cliff, feeling his lips on mine.

In a way, it's a fitting beginning to be wrapped in this cold's embrace. It reminds me of iced skin that used to wrap around me and pull me close.

"F-f-fine!" I chatter back. _I would do this a thousand times more if it meant you'd kiss me again._

Edward's face was incredulous as he took in my features, as if such a stupid thought was written there in my eyes. "I probably should have saved that for a different time, huh?" His voice is a bit quieter than before. Suddenly his face is sharp with fear, and, contrary to his earlier words, he pulls his hand free from mine. "Swim, Bella!"

 _Oh. Right._

 _Everything_ had been ice, so I hadn't even noticed that I was sinking.

I laughed sheepishly to myself as I forced myself to pump my arms. Maybe he was right. Maybe he should have saved kissing me for a time when my life didn't depend on, you know, _thinking_.

Edward's face twisted with worry as he faced me. "Can you swim to shore?" He demanded.

I rolled my eyes at him. "I'm fine. I've even got all my limbs, see?"

Edward rolled his eyes back at me. "You're absurd," he said. "Come on, then."

He may not have been holding my hand, but he stuck to me like glue anyway. He must have watched me more than the shoreline, as if he expected any moment for our luck to run out and for me to slip beneath the black waves and never resurface. Admittedly I wasn't the strongest swimmer, and all my clothes were troublesomely heavy. But giving up or dying at the point felt ridiculous. I was _absolutely fine_. Edward had kissed me, and there was something beyond a platonic friendship between him and me once I reached the shore.

"I think you can touch ground here," Edward said loudly to get my attention, and I attempted it. I could just barely brush the bottom with my toes. Immediately Edward threaded his hand back through mine. _He_ had no problem at all touching the sandy bottom. "We're almost to shore, and there are warm towels waiting for us, alright?" He murmured in my ear before he began to tow me further up land. It became much easier to touch the sandy floor, but really, it was easier to not touch it at all. Edward was moving us a lot faster than I could have managed just walking through the heavy water.

"You guys made it!" Alice cheered. For a moment, I almost didn't recognize her. Not only was she wrapped in what looked to be about five or six towels with more coming as Emmett worked, but a grin was stretched across her face from ear to ear.

"A miracle," Edward said dryly to her. The water was up to our knees now, and the breeze was a freezing agony. "Give me some towels."

Alice had parked her car down here for this purpose, and she'd brought at least twenty towels, all of them warming under heat blasting from the vents. Alice nodded at Edward and turned on her heel.

"Yo, catch!" Emmett called, tossing two towels forward. I gaped at Emmett stupidly as I watched the towels arc. _Does he…expect me to catch it?_

Edward, thankfully, was significantly more coordinated than I was, and he only had to reach out one hand to snatch the impressively aimed towels. Immediately he wrapped one around me, and the sudden warmth drew a horrible shudder from my body. And then he wrapped the other around me as well.

"You should take one too," I protested, frowning up at him.

"You look like you're about to pass out," he informed me. "Your lips are turning blue."

 _Bleh._ "I feel _fine_ ," I muttered, even as I shivered into the towel's warmth. "Think about yourself more."

"I actually _do_ feel fine," Edward said with a small smile at me. "I've jumped off that cliff in much worse conditions than this. I'm used to it."

"That doesn't mean you're any less cold than I am!" I protested, eye twitching. _Unless he does this every day, there's no way that he'd become immune to the cold just by doing it once every few months! That doesn't even make sense!_

"Here," Alice said, holding out a few more towels. "And don't just give them all to Bella, Edward. As I recall, it was _you_ who got sick last time."

Edward flashed a smile at Alice, his version of a poker face. "The cold doesn't make you sick, Al, unless it's hypothermia. I just caught strep from _your_ younger sister."

"Weak," Emmett said critically as he held out a few more towels to us.

As Edward vehemently assured Emmett of the inaccuracy of such a label, I reached forward and took a few of them, and, while Emmett kept him distracted, wrapped two of the warmed towels around his shoulders.

Edward shuddered into them and looked at me with an insulting amount of surprise. "…Thanks," he said finally.

"Now we're even," I said before reaching for another to wrap around the already soaked towels. We sloshed onto shore, and I realized with some regret that I'd been the only one who'd forgotten to take off my shoes.

Alice noticed and snorted. "Edward, you let her jump off like that? Those are her favorite sneakers, you know. She's literally worn almost nothing else. What's she going to wear to school tomorrow now?"

Edward looked down at my sand caked shoes in surprise. "I…" He ran a hand through his sopping wet curls and sighed, frustrated. "I suppose I was thoroughly distracted at the time." At that he flashed me a shy smile. My protests that it wasn't his job to tell me to do something common sense died on my lips as my thoughts flew back to the top of the cliff.

Emmett and Alice gaped at us for a few beats before Alice shrugged and said to Emmett, as if we weren't just a few feet away, "It's probably nothing."

"Probably," Emmett agreed. "That stick would never pull the moves on her."

"They'll probably graduate before getting together," Alice said with a disdainful huff. I peeked at Edward in alarm, but he seemed totally unaffected, checking his watch and then up at the sky. I sucked in a deep breath to steady myself. _Okay. Edward's ignoring their teasing, so I should, too._

"After all, Stickward wouldn't dare take time away from his precious studies to get a girlfriend," Emmett said airily.

Alice shook her head morosely as she stumbled away with Emmett towards her car. "Has messed up priorities, that one."

Almost as soon as their backs were turned, Edward wound his fingers through my own, and they were achingly familiar with their frigid temperature. "Why don't we get your shoes off, Bella?" Edward suggested softly to me. "And let's get off that rain jacket too. There's no need for more wet layers at this point."

"Good idea," I said. His hand in mine became suddenly _very_ useful as I attempted to wriggle out of my very wet and suddenly very tight sneakers. _Bleh. Alice is right. These are my only pair of shoes, and they'll be damp for at least a day or two. Darn. In Phoenix, it would have taken just a few hours in the sun._ But I didn't pursue that line of thought very seriously; Phoenix held no appeal to me now whatsoever. Even though Edward could follow me into the sun now, the city was still tainted by that debacle with James.

When I looked up, it was to find Emmett and Alice looking pointedly between me and my hand which was attached to Edward. Immediately heat rose in my cheeks, and I wondered if I should drop his hand. _Crap. We haven't even spoken about what we are to each other. I mean, I know he kissed me, but that was a pretty tame kiss. Is he ready to say that we're going out or…or something? Maybe he wanted this to be secret. He_ did _wait until they weren't looking to hold my hand, after all._

 _But what moron would think that it could stay secret from people six feet away when you were holding hands in plain sight?_

"I'll hold your towels," Edward said, and I ripped my gaze from Alice and Emmett's twin smirks to look up at him. When I stared at him uncomprehendingly for a moment, his smile was gentle as he clarified, "While you take off your jacket, I mean."

I shrugged out of the towels and handed them to Edward and proceeded to struggle with fingers numb from the horrid wind to unzip my coat. Thankfully Edward didn't try to help this once (which would _totally_ been in character and utterly mortifying), instead turning his attention back to Emmett and Alice.

"I think I'll drive Bella home," Edward said to them. I finally unzipped the jacket, and Edward smoothly traded me, re-wrapping me up in towels while tucking the jacket under his arm.

"Sure," Alice said, looking pointedly at our hands, clearly asking silently for some sort of explanation.

Edward didn't say anything, but he didn't let go.

* * *

"You two travel back safely, you hear?"

"Remember to keep your eyes on the road, Eddie!"

"We know Bella might be terribly distracting, but you have to consider your lives, you know!"

Edward rolled his eyes as he opened up my door and held it open for me. Obediently I crawled inside. Alice had driven us back up to the top of the cliff where Edward's car was waiting for us (along with everyone else's shoes).

 _Did getting together last time cause him so much grief?_ I wondered as I watched Edward wave the laughing duo off. They'd rolled down their windows just to scream taunts, as if we weren't the _only ones_ on top of this cliff and could have heard them at a significantly lower volume.

While Emmett and Alice sped away (it wouldn't surprise me if they were trying to race each other), Edward didn't pull out immediately, instead taking another moment to strategically point all of vents blasting hot air towards us. When his hands were busy driving, I rearranged the vents until they were distributed equally between us (instead of the majority pointed at me).

Edward shook his head at me, a bemused smile on his lips. "You really hate to be a damsel in distress, don't you?"

That gave me pause, mostly because I'd played the role _so often_ since I met Edward; what other choice did I have when the most important people to me were practically superheroes?

But before Edward, there'd been my mom. There had been bills to pay and budgets to stick to, and then there was my Dad, my blissfully oblivious and defenseless father, to protect and take care of. There had been so many realities that I'd had to face so others wouldn't have to. And I did it willingly because it was something I could do for the people I loved.

And then I fell in love with a vampire who, instead of being blessed by me, had been dragged instead into impossible predicaments like torturous moral dilemmas and life or death hunts. After an entire lifetime of independence and self reliance, I became a burden to the _one person_ I loved more than anything else in the world.

And now that Edward was human, I got another chance to do it _right_. This time I had about as much to bring to the table as he did, perhaps even more if we considered money.

So it was with a smile that I said, "Yup."

"You know, that's one of the things that I've come to admire about you," he said as he began to maneuver the car back onto the dirt road. "I used to think it took strength to stand up to people who tried to hurt me. I rarely _did_ , of course, and I always thought that made me weak. But…I think I've begun to change my mind about that."

"Yeah?" I said, looking at him curiously. He so rarely opened up about the bullying and its effect on him. He was quick to affirm his friends' pain, and he never denied his grudge against Izzy. But somehow this admission was more personal than what he'd said in the past. _I never knew he thought he was weak._

"After watching you, I think it takes more strength to endure without… _hate_ ," he said, voice softer now. "You had no business loving us even as we hated you. But you refused to back off or even get impatient. I think that's incredible. Frankly, I almost don't think it's human."

"I was just being selfish," I said, repeating my earlier excuse with a shrug. I could afford to degrade my motivations now that my efforts were bearing fruit. "Isn't that human enough?"

"It's not selfish to befriend people who were treating you like dirt," Edward said, shaking his head before his tone shifted. "…Have I discussed with you yet how utterly unhealthy it is for you to become friends with people who have treated you so unkindly in the past?"

I rolled my eyes. "That's totally inapplicable to you, Edward."

"You didn't know that we would become friends eventually," Edward pointed out. I rolled my eyes towards the roof the car. _Great. He's in full lecture mode._ "What would you have done if that debacle in Port Angelus never happened?"

"I would have found another way to make you trust me," I said firmly. The answer was so obvious, I couldn't help but wonder what he'd expected me to say.

"You wouldn't consider just moving on?" Edward asked dubiously, glancing at me with furrowed brows.

 _Never._ "Edward, in all of my seventeen years, I've never found people that I _belonged_ with. I love my parents, and I've had some okay friends over the years. But I've never…belonged." I looked down at my hands, watching them slowly curl up and then relax. "I'm not going to let that go easily."

There was also the fact that I was hopelessly in love with him, and life without him was absolutely intolerable.

"And _that_ is what I admire about you," Edward said quietly. "You can call it selfish all you want. But _I_ think it's brave."

Heat began to creep up my neck once more. _Darn it._ "Those are a lot of complements," I muttered, beginning to wring my hands.

Edward laughed. "Why shouldn't I complement you?" His voice grew unbearably gentle as he added, "Why do you think people fall in love if not because they like each other or find traits in them admirable?"

I bit the inside of my cheek and, in an uncharacteristic instant of bravery, whispered, "Does that mean you're falling in love with me?"

Edward was quiet for a moment, and with every beat of my heart that passed in the silence, I cursed the word vomit.

 _Idiot! The whole point of not defining the relationship too early is to avoid backing him into a corner where rejection is inevitable!_ My inner voice raged, and I shrunk into my seat, cringing. Part of me wanted nothing more than to yank at my hair violently. And part of me just wanted plug my ears up rather than listen to his response.

All I did was tense up and wait, though, knuckles whitening as I fisted them in the hem of my shirt. It was all I could do.

Finally, he said, quietly, "Here's what I think: I know I'm not exactly like the Edward you knew. In some ways, we barely know each other; we've only scratched the surface." He laughed softly, an incredulous sound, as he shook his head. "But I'm not stupid. I know that connections like ours, incidents like these don't just happen to anyone. And even though…I'm only _seventeen_ ," he shook his head again at that, "and even though this is insane, a ridiculous situation… I don't want to deny how I feel towards you." He looked at me with a soft, crooked smile as he came to a stop in front of my house. "Yes, Bella. I'm falling in love with you."

For a solid moment, I couldn't speak around the chaos of my emotions. It felt as if his words had unlocked that corner of my mind where I'd always shoved the doubt, anticipation, the pain and mortification. Any time my composure began to slip, any time self pity threatened to overcome me, I shoved it away. In a way, I'd refused to feel at all.

And now that control had slipped. But, instead of getting swept away in the flood of negative emotions, instead of paying for every moment of weakness in which I'd chosen the easier route of simply _not feeling_ …instead of paying for all my faults and cowardice, all I felt was a beautiful, intoxicating mix of hope, nearly explosive joy, and overwhelming love for Edward.

For weeks, I'd had to suppress _I love you_ , rip it from the tip of my tongue and stuff it deep down inside.

But I'd never had as much reason to hope as I did right then that the time was approaching when that wouldn't be the case.

 _Alright, I get that you're super happy. But you've got to actually_ talk _. Oh, and breathe. It would be nice if you didn't pass out on top of everything else._

As I came down from my high, I forced myself to think rationally, or rather, for my mind to work. I ran through his words again in my mind, grateful that he was patient enough to give me this time to collect my thoughts.

And just as I made my mind up to do something other than stare stupidly into his hypnotically beautiful eyes, he reached a hand forward and softly, so softly, held the side of my face, thumb stroking the skin there. Powerless to this sensation, I could feel my eyes fluttering shut as I leaned into his touch.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured, a smile in his voice as he brushed the hair behind my ear and then let his hand drop. "Even after diving off of a cliff, you still manage to steal my breath away."

My eyes opened in surprise, and they opened up wider when I found him _much_ closer than before. "W- _what?_ "

He laughed at my expression and added in a teasing voice, "Next time, I think I'm going to insist on your driving. It's too much of a hassle to have to keep my eyes off of you and on the road."

Even amidst my embarrassment and incredulity, I managed to roll my eyes at that. "Since _when_ have you thought I was even _pretty_?"

"Don't look so skeptical! You make me feel as if I've been stingy with my complements," he said, something of a warning in his voice.

I frowned. "Well, you definitely _haven't_ been, so you don't need to worry about that."

He chuckled. "That's actually not entirely true. I'm not sure if you realize how much I've been suppressing myself."

My brows raised, and I shook my head. "You have _not_. You've been flirting like crazy!"

He smirked at that. "You picked up on that, then? Excellent."

I groaned softly at that, remembering all the times he'd practically turned me inside out with his words, his smile, and _always_ those casual hands… "You were driving me _crazy_."

"Well, I had to find _some_ way to make sure you didn't give up on me," he explained with a shrug. "Just because I needed time didn't mean that the conclusion was really ever uncertain in my mind. I knew, almost as soon as you separated yourself from Izzy, that I would succumb sooner or later to falling for you."

I frowned. "That makes _no_ sense to me."

He quirked a brow at me before snorting and rolling his eyes. "You didn't even pause to _think_ about it." He shook his head. "Why don't we continue this conversation somewhere more comfortable? It's too difficult to face you like this."

With numb fingers I struggled with the handle of the door. After watching me struggle for a few seconds, he sighed and leaned across me and unlocked the door for me.

"Thanks," I muttered, cheeks pinking as I stumbled out of the car.

Edward came around to meet me and appraised me critically and shook his head. "Change of plan. We'll postpone this conversation till you've had a shower and a clean change of clothes."

I smiled up at him. "I thought I look beautiful, cliff diving or no."

He scoffed. "It's not about beauty; it's about _health_."

"I thought I can't get sick," I said, wrapping the damp towels around me tighter as the rain began to fall harder around us. He didn't seem to mind, so I didn't either. "Just from the cold, I mean."

He rolled his eyes. "You can if it's _hypothermia_. Besides that, I think you deserve a hot shower after we put you through such a stupid tradition."

"Well, for the record, I'm glad that I got the chance to participate in your 'stupid' tradition," I said, grinning up at him.

He considered me for a moment and, before I could even think to wonder at his silence, he wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled me close and captured my lips with his own.

This kiss was so different from what I'd expected. Somehow, deep down, I guess I'd begun to wonder if he wasn't just doing this out of pity. He obviously thought I was a nice enough person; perhaps it was too difficult for him to tell me the truth that my happy ending had been irrevocably shattered the moment I woke up in Izzy's body, that it was impossible for us to be together.

And another part of me worried that he only wanted me because it made sense, if his decision to kiss me before had just been a strategic move of his brilliant, logical mind. I was a decent person that fulfilled several prerequisites. In other words, I was probably girlfriend material. And if I was in love with him already, well, that would only make it that much simpler.

His lips told quite a different story.

They spoke of desire, of passion and longing and the need to be closer and _closer_ with every racing heartbeat. And as he deepened the kiss, as my arms wrapped up around his neck, as his own tightened around my waist and the other cupped the back of my head, I found myself wondering, perhaps for the first time, if he might just want me as much as I wanted him.

He broke the kiss at last, but he didn't pull away completely, letting his forehead rest against mine. And for a short eternity we stood like that, catching our breaths while the storm deepened around us. Thunder cracked overhead, and all the while all I could hear was the thrumming of my own heart in my ears.

 _I love you_.

"You should…" he whispered, kissing my forehead, "take a _fast_ shower."

I laughed. "As fast as I can," I promised as I stepped back.

He grabbed my wrist. "One more," he murmured before quickly capturing my lips once more, just a single peck. Then he sighed. "Alright. Fine. I'll let you go now."

I grinned at him like an idiot. He smiled back, and before we started acting _really_ annoying, I forced myself to say, "Actually, you could take a shower here. We have more than enough bathrooms. Charlie wouldn't mind."

Edward smiled at me and shook his head. "No, that's fine. Emmett and Alice are waiting, and I'm sure they're dying to know how our car ride went. I'll smooth things over with them, and you can head over as soon as you can."

"Sounds good," I agreed.

He squeezed my hand once and smiled at me. "Alright, get out of the rain. I think I've given Charlie Swan enough reasons to kill me today."

I laughed even though it wasn't really that funny. Really, anything would have made me laugh at this point. "Sure, sure."

He shook his head and laughed, a self deprecating sound. "See you, Bella. Soon."

"Soon," I repeated, and he dropped my hand and made his way back to his car.

 _Soon._

I exhaled slowly as I watched the silver Volvo disappear around the corner. And then I gathered the towels that had fallen at my feet in the heat of the moment (oops) and turned on my heel.

 _Alright, Bella. Time to face reality again,_ I told myself sternly. _Edward's gone now, so there's no reason to act like a lovesick moron at the moment._

In spite of the reasonableness of that point, a smile threatened to crack my face as I walked into the house. And nothing, not the imminent jeers from Emmett and Alice, not the panic attack from Charlie when he heard about my cliff diving experience, or even the dead squirrel hanging outside my bedroom window could bring me down.

 _Soon._

* * *

 **A/N:** Wow. Did that seem suspiciously _not_ satisfying? Probably because I wrote it to end a chapter, not a 90,000 word story.

Try to be satisfied, though. Bella and Edward are officially together. This is _about_ as cute as it gets for them. If you're interested in some truly _sickening_ fluff scenes, look forward to the next story.

I'm not decided on when I'll post the sequel/extension. I may wait until I've finished it to bother; writing with a known audience changes the writing process quite a bit. And sometimes not in a good way.

I want to thank every person who has left a review. I didn't respond to you all because I'm awkward like that, but many of you made my day. As wonderful as favorites and follows are (they mean people are actually _reading_ this! Eep!), reviews are really what makes posting this worth it.

It's my first and only _long_ term story, so I thank you all for your patience and understanding. I learned a lot and grew a ton as a writer, and I'm grateful to you readers for enjoying this story despite the obvious weaknesses and failings.

Please leave a review. :) We're all very busy people, but I'd love to know what you thought of them finally getting together.

And so, for now, adieu! I'll hopefully see you all in a week at earliest and...a few months at the latest. ^-^


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